You Mean More to Me Than Words Could Ever Say

Over the course of the next week, things were simply tiring and hectic, due to rush packing. It also was filled with anxiety and panic.

The anxiety was the fact I was going to be living with Gerard. I was ecstatic and excited, but just so insanely nervous. I couldn't quite figure out why. The panic was the fact that something could go wrong, and my mother find out what I was doing. But never once did I chicken out and back out of Gerard's plan. I was going to do this.

Bob and Ray were happy for my mothers decision, and said the band will probably work out better with me living at Gerard and Mikey's, because I could write music with them since they have everything we need.

Mikey, as well, was extremely happy about the news and couldn't stop talking about it, which made me feel good because I didn't want to feel like a burden coming into his home, and Gerard said that Elena also shared Mikey's joy.

So basically, things were looking up in my life. My stomach problem was going away, my mother was getting help, I wasn't leaving my friends, and I was going to be spending much more time with Gerard. Nothing could bring down my mood. My mother was wondering why I was so cheerful this past week, despite the anxiety and all, but I simply told her I was glad she was getting help, which wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.

Today was the day I had to call my Aunt and Uncle and inform them of the change of plans. I decided I had to do it soon or else it would never get done. I reached into the pocket of my baggy camouflage shorts and took out my cell phone, turning it on and feeling my nerves pick up as I went to my contacts.

With each ring I internally begged that they wouldn't answer despite the fact that wouldn't do me any good. It was at 4 before my Uncle Ron answered the phone with his husky voice.

"Hello?" He asked. It was odd hearing his voice, I hadn't spoken to him in over a year.

"Hey Uncle Ron."

"Frank?"

"Yep. It's me." I felt like a little kid.

"My god Frank it's been quite awhile now hasn't it?"

"Yeah it's-"

"Yup sure has. What's up Frank?" I smiled at his hyperness and then eased into my purpose for calling.

"Well there's been a change of plans." I heard him breathe out heavily.

"Don't tell me your mother...god dammit! Don't tell me she backed out. I swear that woman-"

"No, Uncle Ron. She's still going."

"Thank god. So what's going on then?" I felt myself tense. I chewed on my black hoodie's drawstring.

"Well, Mom decided it would be better if I moved in with my friend Gerard, who's been a long time friend of mine for years. She knows his parents very well and said it be better for me to stay somewhere where I can go to the same school and not have to change my senior year." After a long pause he finally answered.

"You know it took us forever to set up the guest room and clear out the drawers and everything for your stuff."

"I'm sorry Un-"

"No, no it's alright. I agree with your mother." I sighed out in relief.
We talked a little while about how each other has been, before he mentioned Aunt Vickie wanted to talk. We said our goodbyes before he put my aunt on the phone. After talking to her for only a few minutes, she said she had to go. She sounded angry I wasn't coming but I was too happy they didn't ask to speak with my mom to care.

The following day, I came out to the kitchen to see my mother standing by the door with her bags, grabbing her coat. It was mid-october and the weather was already starting to get cold.

"Well Frank." I looked at her, giving a half crooked smile, and walked up to her slowly. She smiled back weakly and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Frank. For everything. I promise I'll make it up to you." I hugged her tighter before letting her go and taking a step back, placing my hands on her shoulders and offering her a reassuring smile, that was genuine and sincere.

"Mom, I'm proud of you. Remember that. Every time you are struggling over there, remember that I'm so proud of you for trying, and I know you will accomplish your goal. Think of me every time you feel like you can't do it. Remember why you're there. But don't just do it for me, do it mainly for yourself."

Her eyes started tearing up, before she nodded gently and placed her hand on my cheek.

"Thank you Frank. You're the best son I could ask for. That's a promise." I kissed her cheek, and she smiled, buttoning her coat before placing a hand on the door handle.

"I love you." It felt odd hearing her say it this way, it was genuine and truly from her heart. She's said it a few times in the past couple of months but it's always in a rushed way, only spoken because it's what is supposed to be said at a moment of departure.

"I love you too." She smiled one last time before opening the door, saying goodbye, and leaving. I felt guilty that I was going to be staying at Gerard's without her knowing, but I quickly pushed the feeling away.

I headed upstairs to my room to take a shower and get dressed to head over to Gerard's. As I stepped into the shower, I contemplated how it would be living with Gerard. Suddenly I had a crazy image in my mind, that one night I creep into Gerard's bedroom, and into his bed, telling him I had a nightmare and asking to cuddle with him. It was a silly thought but I continued picturing how it would go in my head. Suddenly, I imagined that Gerard starts to reach his hand towards my crotch as we spooned.

Let's just say this daydream got very sexual.

I ended up masturbating for a good half hour in the shower, before cleaning myself up like originally planned and getting out. I threw on semi-tight dark blue jeans that had tears in the thighs and knees, paired with a slim fitting black t-shirt and my converse. I always got compliments when I wore tighter clothes, and I wanted to look good for Gerard today. I haven't worn clothes like this since a few years ago, when I always tried to look good for people.

I looked in the mirror and brushed my hair, blow drying it and then proceeding to straighten my bangs. I thought about putting eyeliner on, but I figured that be too much, and everyone would wonder why I got all ready.

After I was done everything, I began carrying boxes out to my truck. There wasn't too many, and before I knew it I was heading to the Way household.

X~x~X~x~X

Everyone helped carry stuff up to the guest bedroom I was going to be staying in, even Elena. Gerard wasn't kidding when he said she acts younger than she is. Mikey helped me put away my stuff as Gerard helped Elena cook dinner. When it came around time for me to go to bed, I lifted back the cover only to find a huge fucking spider, swiftly move about the bed in panic. I screamed by habit, I was deathly afraid of spiders. Gerard came running in, with Mikey following behind. I was shaking from the awful surprise.

"What the hell happened?" Gerard asked in a rushed voice.

"There was a huge spider!" I yelled, noticing how I said 'was' due to the fact it was no longer in sight.

"Where?" He asked.

"The bed." He nodded.

"Well it's been awhile since anyone's been in here..." That only heightened my fears. It must have showed, because Gerard started laughing at my terrified face.

"Are you really that scared?" I didn't answer, just shaked my head profusely. He chuckled but I kept a straight face, glancing at the bed with fear.

"Awhh Frank, we'll find it." Just then Mikey chirped up.

"Found it!" I looked over at the bed, seeing the spider on the pillow. Suddenly, Mikey flicked it with his finger and it flew through the air. I screamed in a loud girlish shriek and Gerard and Mikey started cracking up.

"Mikey! Now we don't know where it is!"

"It's off the bed though!" I shook my head violently once again.

"But it's somewhere in this room!" I yelled in anger.

"Woah, there Frank, calm down." Gerard cooed.

"But Gerard, I'm terrified of spiders. What if he crawls in the bed while I'm sleeping? What if there's more? Mikey just flicked him, he didn't kill him."

Mikey sighed out heavily in frustration, before throwing his hands up in defeat.

"Why don't you sleep with one of us for tonight?" Gerard suggested.

"I'm not sharing my bed!" Mikey yelled. I looked over at Gerard awkwardly, while he just smiled.

"Guess you'll have to share with me."