You Mean More to Me Than Words Could Ever Say

I opened my eyes that morning seeing Gerard's sleeping, peaceful face still in the same spot he laid it when we fell asleep. He was snoring lightly, and I found myself smiling stupidly at his sleeping self.

It was a beautiful thing to fall asleep with someone, and wake up with them in the morning. It was also beautiful to see someone sleeping, in their most raw, vulnerable, blissful state. Where at this moment in time they are quiet, relaxed, and still. They are calm. And it's a wonderful thing to see them this way, to take in all of their features, all of their flaws, all of their quirks and touches that make them unique.

I looked at Gerard's closed eyes, the way they were completely at ease, the way his long eyelashes curled slightly, and seemed to work as thick curtains, protecting his eyes from all things dark and dreary.

I looked at his fine, dainty nose that was curved a tad upward, reminding me of a real life anime character almost.

I looked at his thin, yet pouty lips. I couldn't help but gently brush my thumb over them. I felt chills up my arms, even if it was only my thumb that touched his lips and not my own.

As I brushed his hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear, he snuggled his face deeper into my stomach. I felt so randomly content.

It was at this moment I realized what love was.

I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.

X~x~X~x~X

"Frank?" The voice went in one ear and out the other. I rolled over and slipped in and out of my dream.

"Frankieee." I smiled, half asleep, confused and not able to tell what was dream and what was reality.

"Frank." Suddenly I realized it was where I was, and I opened my eyes to see Gerard looking at me with a playful look on his face.

"Hi Gee." I murmured. He smiled.

"Get up sleepy."

"No."

"Frank!" I pulled the blankets over my head and could picture Gerards face as I did this. Suddenly I realized it was the wrong choice, because I felt Gerard tackle me, wrapping himself around me and pulling me over to the side of the bed. I started laughing uncontrollably as he continued pulling until we both fell off the bed, and onto the floor. We flopped around a bit with the blankets before pausing and looking at each other with stupid smiles.

"Good morning sunshine." Gerard said sweetly but jokingly. I stared at him with a straight face, pretending to be pissed off.

"Fuck you." I replied. He lost it at that point, and I did too, as we both were hitting each others arms from laughing so hard.

Gerard's laugh was quite unique. It wasn't a stoner laugh like my own as he would call it, but it was high pitched, ridiculous, and I absolutely loved it.

We stared at each other then, suddenly not laughing and just settling down, breathing heavily.

I love Gerard's laugh. And god dammit, I love Gerard.

I must have been staring too hard, because Gerard had a funny look on his face.

"Frank?" He asked. But I wasn't listening. I was looking at him, but hearing nothing. I saw his lips speak my name but I didn't comprehend it. And before I knew it I was leaning in towards Gerard, placing my hand on the back of his neck.

He gave me a bewildered look.

"Frank." He said again. I still didn't hear. I pulled his face towards mine. I knew what I was doing. Somewhat. And I wanted it. I wanted him. I wanted to kiss his lips and get out all the feelings I've been hiding with a single gesture. No words.

I brushed my lips against his gently. My chest fluttered and my whole body was overheating. We sat there, foreheads together, staring at eachothers lips. For a second nothing happened, but then Gerard kissed me. I kissed back gently, nerves pulsing through my body. He opened his mouth, sliding his tongue in slightly. I did the same. The kiss intensified and we both seemed to be trying to relieve everything we've been hiding.

Gerard was kissing me. He liked me.

We stayed like that for awhile, him tracing my jaw with his fingers and I running mine through his hair.

Gerard backed away, looking at my lips, and taking his thumb and brushing over them like I had to his earlier. We kissed again in a quick, rushed manner.

This time, Gerard backed away again but he didn't come back. He gave me a crazed, wild look before scooting back.

"Jesus." He murmured. I was at a loss for words.

Just then he stood up, rubbed his temples, and simply walked out of the room. I immediately followed.

"Gerard?" He turned to look at me with an expression I couldn't quite name.

"Please Frank, leave me alone. And don't do that again." He said flatly.

I slowly walked back into his room, feelings overwhelming me. I climbed into the bed of the boy I just kissed, and cried my fucking heart out.