Après Moi, Le Deluge

He sipped at the green tea in his favourite blue, striped mug, cringing slightly as it burned his tongue. He'd never been patient enough to drink hot tea, not without risking injury to his mouth. He'd never been very patient with anything, come to think of it. Sometimes, when he reached the last page in a book, he'd skip down to the last line (even though he tried to talk himself into waiting) just to see what happened.

He glanced down at the script in front of him, paging through the lengthy twenty pages. They weren't officially shooting until tomorrow but he liked to get ahead of the game and figure out what was going to happen. He felt connected to Spencer as a character. They seemed so…similar.

"Uhm…excuse me?"

He glanced up in time to see a short girl with unrealistically long, dark brown hair. It cascaded down past her shoulders in thick, loose, waves and framed her pale face. Her eyes were bright and green and the skin crinkled slightly around the edges of them as she smiled.

"Hi. I was just wondering if you knew where the dressing rooms were." she asked, cocking her head to the side as her smile faltered shyly

"Dressing rooms?" he asked stupidly, as if he'd never heard of the words before

"Uh…yeah. I'm guest starring…"

He continued to stare at her blankly, his eyes scouring over her face again. She shifted slightly, pushing her purse back up on her shoulder and bringing a hand up to brush it through her hair uncomfortably.

"Oh. Oh!" he seemed to wake up and his immediate outburst made her flinch, "You're going to be in the next episode?"

She seemed more comfortable now that he was speaking full sentences and she smiled again, nodding. She shifted slightly to the right, her red converse shoes catching his eye. She smiled again, dragging her purse back up on her shoulder a second time. It seemed to be a nervous habit.

"Yeah, of course. The dressing rooms are back over there." he pointed across the parking lot, "I uh…I can walk you over."

She shrugged slightly but let him fall in line beside her nonetheless. They walked in silence for a few steps as he tucked the script beneath his arm, using both hands to cup his green tea.

"So…you're Matthew right?" she asked after a moment, tired of the silence, "I'm Chloe."

"Yeah, I'm Matthew. My friends call me Matt though." he replied, scratching his nails against the porecelain mug

"Matthew." she repeated absentmindedly, staring off at the hustle and bustle of the production team

It registered in the back on his head that she used "Matthew" instead of "Matt" and he vaguely wondered what that meant. He liked the way she said his name nonetheless and liked the way she walked and liked the way she brushed her hair away from her neck as the sun beat down on them. His palms were sweaty and he shook his head as though that would dislodge the thoughts from his skull.

They stopped outside the dressing rooms and he took a deep breath, managing to pull one hand away from the mug to drag his fingers through his hair. She pulled herself away from the production team and smiled lightly at him.

"Thanks."

She stuck out her hand to shake his. He fumbled with his tea and then quickly dragged his hand down his shirt, hopefully to get rid of the sweat. She firmly shook his hand, confidently, and he tried to pretend he was equally as confident, pressing his fingers into the back of her hand.

Finally, she let go and disappeared into the first trailer, the metal door slapping back behind her. He stayed standing there a moment too long, staring at the back of a door, before he turned completely around and walked back to his spot in the shade to read the rest of the script.

He subconsciously found himself searching for roles she might be playing as he scanned it, flipping through the pages rapidly. Perhaps she was the unsub's next victim, a crude prostitute. He hoped not. Shemar's shadow brought him out of his feverish search and he glanced up, flinching at the expression on Shemar's face.

"Saw you met the guest star." he joked, smirking

"Her name's Chloe." Matthew replied absentmindedly, breaking eye contact as Shemar sat down beside him

"She's cute." he mumbled, leaning back against the picnic bench

"Didn't notice." he lied, raising his eyebrows slightly

"Liar. You should've seen your face when she walked up to you." Shemar laughed to himself, stretching his arms out

Matthew rolled his eyes and turned back to the script, hoping Shemar wouldn't pick up on the blush that was creeping up his neck. Of course, he would, he always did, but he tried not to make it so blatantly easy for him.

"Go ask her out." he prodded, poking him in the side

Matthew frowned and quickly shook his head with a grimace. Shemar sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and bumping into him with his shoulder until he looked up at him again.

"C'mon, what's stopping you?"

"I barely know her." he retorted, "She barely knows me."

"All the more reason to ask her now, before she gets to know you and runs away." Shemar joked, a grin expanding across his face

Matthew rolled his eyes again and turned away childishly, trying to twist in a way to keep his back to Shemar. It took a few moments, but eventually Shemar gave up just like he knew he would. He pushed Matthew one more time and then walked away, disappearing behind one of the trailers.

After a while, Matthew went to his own trailer, basking in the relative darkness that came as the sun began to set. From the window, he could see her talking to the costume director, joking and laughing about something that he couldn't hear.

He didn't realize how hard his heart was beating until he looked away, glancing over at a poster from the third season of Criminal Minds. Why did she make him feel like this?

It drove him insane. He'd known the girl for less than a day and already he could barely look at her without his body going into strange rituals and convulsions. He subconsciously grabbed his mug, sipping at it and then spitting the ice cold tea back inside with a strangled gag.

He tried to reason with himself. It was just a crush, nothing more. This had happened before, several times in fact. And what did it really matter? She'd only be here for a day, two at the most, and then she'd be gone again. No doubt she had other gigs lined up, probably in places that were far away.

She turned and seemed to look right at him through the window in his trailer. He ducked automatically, kicking himself for being so creepy. She probably thought he was a total weirdo by now. First the odd introduction, now staring at her through a window. He could feel the blush that was burning against his cheeks.

After a moment of talking himself down, he slowly sat up again, staring straight down at the table and script in front of him. He didn't dare look out the window for five whole minutes (he counted down in his head) and when he finally did, she was gone, and he was left with an odd taste in his mouth.

It was hopeless though, completely hopeless. What could he even say to the girl? He'd never had much luck with women. Not to say that he hadn't had any luck with women. There were a few girlfriends sporadically placed on his timeline. But nothing serious.

Generally, this was as close as he got. He swooned from afar, watched beautiful women that he never had a chance with. With any luck, she'd be gone within a few days and then he could go back to the way things were before. Peaceful, ignorant, bliss.

"Hey, Matt?"

He glanced over in time to see Shemar, a strange expression on his face as he let himself into the trailer. They'd been friends from the very beginning and Matthew was slowly becoming aware of the many facial expressions held in his vault. This one meant trouble.

"C'mon, I've got an idea."

He grundingly followed, sticking his hands in his pockets and hunching his shoulders slightly to sheild himself in case Chloe happened to be walking around. The sun was just barely hovering over the horizon, casting strange shadows across the parking lot as they walked. Shemar led the way to the production trailer, opening the door without knocking in his typical fashion.

"So, we were thinking…" he was addressing one of the writers, tangling Matthew into this mess

"Shemar was thinking." he clarified, crossing his arms over his chest

"Whatever. Look, I was thinking that the new girl who plays Chelsea…she should get close to Spencer." Shemar said with a grin

"What?" the writer stared blankly

"That sounds stupid…" Matthew began but Shemar waved him away

"No, listen. It's been a while since there's been any sort of romance in Spencer's life right? This might be a good little dialogue for the show. C'mon, you know the fans are dying for it." he grinned again, nudging the writer

She sighed, shrugging slightly. There were times in which he couldn't tell the difference between Shemar and his counterpart Derek. Matthew felt his mouth go dry as he quickly realized he was going to lose this battle. His mind struggled to come up with a reason, any reason, for why this couldn't happen.

"I guess it couldn't hurt. It'd be easy enough to write in." she finally gave in, just as his mouth opened, no words spilling out

"Great." Shemar replied with wink before glancing over at Matthew with a smirk

The writer rolled her eyes but went back to the rest of the group, probably to tell them about the changing script. Matthew left, ignoring Shemar and stalking back to his trailer. What would she think now? No doubt they would tell her that the script was mysteriously changed at the last minute. Obviously she would assume that it was his idea. He would look like a pervert.

He groaned, pressing his face against the pillows on his cot and sighing. Tomorrow was going to be hell, he already knew it. He didn't want to see the new script, he didn't want to see Chloe, he especially didn't want to see Shemar.

He spent the night in his hotel room, staring up at the ceiling. He had gone through three mugs of green tea, trying to calm himself down, but his palms were still clammy and his head felt like it was splitting down the middle. He managed to get a few hours of restless sleep and then dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. There was a moment when he contemplated not going, calling in sick, postponing the inevitable. But he didn't want to spend another night tossing and turning and so he went in.

Chloe was up front filming by the time he got there. He grabbed a new script on the way in, sinking into a chair in the corner of the room and trying unsuccessfully to remain invisible. Shemar winked at him as he walked past, slipping into the makeup room.

He flipped through the script, trying to figure out the general plot. Chloe was playing a woman whose little sister had just been taken. Spencer spends most of his time at home with her, trying to calm her down, trying to talk her through what to say on the phone. He skipped over the entire kissing scene and went straight to the end. They find her sister, they catch the unsub, and he gets her number.

His heart was hammering, he could feel it beating it's way out of his chest. He sighed, twisting the script nervously in his hands as they finished filming the opening scenes. Chloe's character wakes up to find her sister gone, the window broken, and goes through hysterics trying to find her.

He had to admit that she was good, very good, at what she did. Her tears were real, streaming down her face as she searched through the fake house and then eventually gave in and called the police.

"Cut."

The team was noticably less uptight when they weren't filming and it made Matthew feel a little better. Chloe caught his eye and smiled slightly before the hustled her into the make up room to get ready for the next few scenes. He felt lighter when she smiled at him, less worried.

That relaxing feeling made him open up to the kissing scene in the script, skimming over it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe they'd get through it in one take and nothing would happen and he wouldn't feel horrible and he could just throw it all back in Shemar's face. He could be a professional about all this.

He stood up as the director called him over, letting the crumpled and rolled up script drop to the seat behind him. Chloe met him, Shemar, and Joe Mantegna in the middle of the room. This was the first meeting scene where they talked about her sister and what had happened.

He went through the scene mechanically, having very few lines in these first interactions. Chloe's character didn't trust them, didn't think they were doing enough. She was a firecracker who wanted to go off and find her sister herself.

"Spencer, we need someone to stay here and make sure she doesn't do anything crazy. If the unsub calls again, we need you to walk her through what to say. Make sure she doesn't leave." Mantegna mumbled out of earshot

Matthew nodded, swallowing slightly. It took them three tries to get the scene right (mostly the interactions between Chloe and Joe) but it was relatively short and sweet. And then the scene ended and they went on to film the rest of the team searching for the girl. Which meant he had a decent sized break, along with Chloe.

He tried to force himself to the food table, tried to pick up some food to keep his hands and mouth busy. He grabbed a few pieces of fruit, a little finger sandwich, and some more tea and then went back to his corner. After a few minutes a shadow crossed over him and he glanced up, nearly choking on a grape.

"This seat taken?" she asked, nodding towards the seat beside him

He quickly shook his head, shoving his bag onto the floor with little care or concern. She smiled, sitting down quietly and eating her own small plate of food. He swallowed, glancing back at his own plate with a sudden disinterest.

"So uhm…how long have you been acting?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck

"Not long. I actually wanted to be a model instead. But I don't have the looks for it." she laughed slightly

"I think you're pretty." he blurted out, immediately biting his lip

"Well thank you." she replied, grinning

He smiled slightly despite himself, going back to his food. For once, the silence wasn't uncomfortable. Chloe seemed perfectly content to relax right there beside him, nibbling on food and drinking coffee from a starbucks cup.

"Looks like we're up." she mumbled, nodding

She led the way, pausing beside the director as he gave her some pointers. The living room had been completely constructed in the warehouse and Matthew found himself glancing through the things that were set up.

There were pictures of her, pictures of the girl who was playing her sister. A few magazines were strewn across the coffee table and there was a small vase with brightly coloured flowers in the window. Against the far wall was a large bookshelf, stocked with hundreds of books and beside that, a working fireplace.

He vaguely wondered if this might be what Chloe's actual living room looked like. He didn't even have a guess as to whether she was an avid reader like he was or not. He figured she liked flowers, most girls liked flowers, but otherwise he didn't have a clue.

"All right, let's go."

Chloe took her position on the couch and he left to make an entrance from the pretend kitchen beside it. She rested her face against the palms of her hands as he came into the picture, sitting down beside her.

"It's hopeless isn't it?" she mumbled, glancing over at him

"Actually, your sister has a pretty good chance, statistically speaking, of still being alive and…" he paused, glancing at her expression, "I'm sorry."

She looked away, staring at the fireplace across from her. It was lit, crackling lightly, and the pretend window had the curtain's drawn so that it looked like it was night time. He shifted on the couch, turning his body towards her.

"I just want her to be home." she admitted, "I feel really…alone."

"You're not alone." he murmured, "That's why I'm here."

She managed a shy smile and nodded slightly, reaching over to grab his hand. He registered that his hand was literally burning from the touch and he flinched, though he was sure the director and camera crew just thought he was playing the part.

"Thank you for staying here with me. I don't know…" she took a breath, "I don't know how I would have made it on my own."

She squeezed his hand and he swallowed, frowning like he was supposed to. Finally, she turned, dragging herself a little closer and pulling her hand out of his. She gently brushed a stray hair from his face, smiling slightly.

"You're a good guy, Dr. Reid." she murmured

"You can call me Spencer." he stammered as she brushed the tips of her fingers down his cheek

She smiled again, leaving her hand against his cheek. He was burning, every inch of him was burning, but he couldn't pull away. He wasn't supposed to like it, not yet. Spencer would have pulled away, run away, thought logically at the very least.

"Chelsea, I'm really not allowed…" he began but she pressed her lips to his anyway

Blank.

His entire mind was blank, he had no idea what he was supposed to do or say. His eyes closed automatically, his lips softened, his hand clutched at her leg. She pulled away slightly, far enough that he could see the laugh in her eyes, and he blushed, coughing.

"Uh…s-sorry. I…what was the line?"

The writers brought over a script and he glanced through it, trying to remember his lines. Chloe was so close though, he could smell the light, floral perfume she was wearing and see her pink lips just a breath away. His head felt heavy, like maybe it was going to topple over onto the coffee table.

"All right, let's go again."

"Chelsea I'm really not allowed…" he began and she kissed him again

This time he managed to push her away very slightly, though he remained less than an inch away. He took a deep, shaky breath, his fingers tightening on her arms.

"We can't do…" he began

"I'm not asking for anything more than right now. I just…I just really need to feel something." she whispered, "Anything."

He sighed, a painful expression crossing his face. She leaned in again and he let her, though he figured Spencer was supposed to try a little harder than he was to fend her off. He leaned heavily against the arm of the couch as she crawled closer, kissing from his lips to his jaw to his neck.

"I…uhm…damnit." he groaned, letting his head fall back against the arm of the couch with a sigh

Chloe laughed, amused by it all, and the writers brought the script over again. Matthew had no doubt that Shemar was laughing to himself somewhere, completely in bliss knowing what he'd done. The camera clicked on again and he took a deep breath, trying to focus.

"Chelsea…" he nearly forgot the line as she kissed his neck again, "This isn't what you want."

She pulled away, just far enough for the camera to get a good angle of her dark expression. His hands had somehow found their way to her hips, holding her in place just as much as they were holding her away from him. Somehow, she'd gotten him to lie down on the couch and he didn't even know it, with her legs on either side of his hips.

"Are you saying that because this isn't what you want?" she asked quietly, leaning back farther

"No…no! It's not…" he scrambled frantically

"Then just let me kiss you." she whispered, frowning

"I…" he paused, just enough time to drag his fingers through her hair, "Am going to be in so much trouble for this."

She managed a ghost of a smile and then leaned down again, pressing her lips to his. She was too good at this and a strange, warm feeling boiled in the pit of his stomach. She kissed his jaw again, his neck, below his ear. He had to bite his lip to keep from making any noise, his face flushed.

He wondered if she knew what she was doing to him. Would she be acting this way if she knew how it made him feel? He fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her closer in the process. He'd only get one more moment, one more second of bliss, and then it would be taken away again.

"Cut."

As though reading his mind, the scene was over. Chloe pulled away slowly, her eyes darting over his face for a moment. She stayed just a second too long and then pulled herself away to get changed in the dressing room.

The rest of the show consisted of him holding her as she cried, talking her through talking to the unsub, and eventually reuniting her with her sister. The end scene, where he said goodbye, was particularly strange to him. It felt too real, like he was really telling her goodbye for the last time.

"If you're ever back in town…maybe we could get dinner or something." she mumbled, grinning

"I'd like that." he replied with a smile of his own

She glanced back at the rest of the team who were too busy getting into their car to notice her and then leaned up on her tippy toes, kissing him hard. He stumbled back very slightly and then caught her against him, his hands resting on the tops of her hips. He pulled away slowly, his forehead resting on hers for just a moment.

"C'mon Spence!"

He smiled at her one last time and then retreated with the rest of the team. And just like that, it was over. The team clapped, glad to be done with the final episode of the season. Chloe slowly walked away from the set, pulling on regular clothes that she'd packed with her.

"Now or never, loverboy." Shemar stated, nudging Matthew in her direction

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair nervously. He tried to convince himself that it didn't matter, that none of it mattered. Even if she said no, he'd probably never even see her again so who cared?

He reached into his pockets as he walked, his fingers clasping around something. He silently drew them out, a small smile gracing his face as he thumbed through the cards. He glanced up in time to see Chloe hoist her bag onto her shoulder and turn towards the door.

"Chloe!" he jogged over and she smiled, obviously tired, "I…d'you want to see a magic trick?"

Her eyebrow quirked almost immediately but she let him continue, putting her bag on the ground beside her. He quickly shuffled and reshuffled the cards, splaying them out for her to pick one. She delicately chose one from the middle, turning it over so she was the only one who would read it.

"Okay, stick it back in the deck."

She did as she was told, sticking it somewhere in the middle. He reshuffled the cards again and she watched his hands carefully, her eyes darting back and forth.

"Is…this your card?"

He pulled it out, handing it over to her. For a moment she just stared at it blankly and then her eyebrow furrowed and then, very suddenly, a grin was plastered across her face.

"Yeah…how did…"

"Are you sure?" she met his gaze and then dropped her eyes back down to the card

It had changed, the entire card wiped clean except for a beautiful drawing of a rose. She gaped, turning the card over to look at the back and then back around to see the rose. She gently touched the front, trying to scrub it away, but it was there nonetheless.

"Okay…how did you do that?" she asked, smiling

"A magician never tells his tricks." he joked, putting the rest of the deck back into his pocket

She glanced back at the card again, shaking her head slightly in disbelief and then went back to hand it to him again.

"Keep it." he replied, holding his hand up to stop her

"All right Gube...I'm not very good at magic tricks…but I make a mean cappuccino." she said with a faltering smile, "Uhm if you wanted to come over, that is."

He heart was beating in his ears and he could barely hear her. He managed to nod, grinning stupidly at the nickname, and then grabbed her bag so she wouldn't have to carry it to her car. They drove to her apartment listening to indie folk songs he'd never heard and then she led the way inside.

As she went to work in the kitchen, he lingered in her living room, glancing around. It wasn't exactly like the one they'd built on set, although she did have a bookshelf with an overwhelming amount of books stuffed into it.

Instead of magazines on her coffee table, she had travel books and instead of a fire place, she had a TV stand and a stack of DVDs. There were flowers on her dining table though and it brought him comfort to think that he'd called at least one thing.

"You watch Star Wars?" he asked absentmindedly, stooping down to look at her DVD collection

"Yeah…part of my more nerdy collection." she replied, heating up her coffee machine

He smiled slightly, sitting down on the couch and thumbing through a book on traveling to South America. He wondered how many places she'd actually be to in her life, how much of the world she'd already charted.

She came over to join him a few minutes later, two cappaccinos in large, blue mugs. He gently took his from her, holding it in his hands, feeling the warmth resonate through his body. She left hers on the table, letting it cool, and he dove right in, burning his tongue as per usual.

"I…wanted to ask you something." she began, obviously uncomfortable

"Sure." he replied, though his mouth was dry

"Did you…I mean, the script changed. I was just wondering if you changed it." she mumbled, grabbing her cup to have something in her hands

"I…sort of." he admitted, "I mean, it was Shemar's idea because he saw us together and he got it in his head that I had a crush on you or something and then he went to talk to the writers and he dragged me along and then they changed it because they thought it would look better for the series…"

"Do you?" she asked very carefully, sipping on her drink before setting it back on the coffee table

"Do I what?" he asked, although he already knew what she was asking

"Do you have a crush on me?"

He didn't want to answer. He sipped on his drink again and then put it on the table and then shifted slightly. She was waiting for an answer though and he had never been very good at being cruel.

"I…yes." he finally mumbled

He looked up in time to see a small smile cross her face but he couldn't tell if she was simply pitying him. It had happened before with girls who thought he was adorable…but not dating material. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair and leaning back against the couch.

"Look, I understand if…" he began but she quickly cut him off, pressing her lips against his

She pulled away slowly, keeping herself next to him, trying to read his expression. He couldn't imagine she was having much luck since he couldn't even form thoughts in his head at the moment.

And then he was cupping her cheek and pulling her back towards him. She went without a struggle, falling against his chest and then dragging them both down to the couch. He kissed her softly, his fingers tangling into her long, brown hair. He could taste the chocolate from the cappuccinos on her lips, could smell her perfume, felt the smooth skin of her neck and back.

She slowly pulled back, panting lightly, her fingers resting lightly on either side of his face. A light, pink blush crossed her cheeks and she quickly sat up, untangling herself from him. He followed after her, sitting on his side of the couch.

"I…sorry." he mumbled sheepishly with a small smile

"Me too." she replied with a grin, letting her hair fall between them for a moment

He gently brushed it back behind her ear so that he could see her face, his fingertips lingering against her cheek. She almost blushed again but managed to glance over at him. The cappuccinos were cold but neither of them seemed to care. She glanced over at the mostly full mugs with a smile and then glanced back at him.

"I was wondering if you might want to go to dinner sometime. Maybe this weekend." he asked quietly, smiling as she smiled

"Of course." she replied, reaching over to interlock their fingers

It was too early to really tell what would happen between them, Matthew wasn't naive enough to think everything would work out, or that this was the end of his search for a perfect girl. But Chloe was something else and the thought of taking her out…

He grinned, gently kissing her one last time. He felt like he couldn't kiss her enough and so far she wasn't complaining. She let Matthew go through her collection of DVDs until he found one he liked and they spent the rest of the night curled up together watching it. Every once and a while, he'd brush his fingers through her hair, down her back. Sometimes she'd lean against his chest, listening for his heartbeat. He kept his arm wrapped around her shoulders, holding her close.

He didn't want to think about it as she drifted off to sleep, the end credits rolling on a movie that had ended nearly five minutes ago, but he knew, in the near future, he'd have to thank Shemar for all this.

Just not now. He didn't want to see that smug expression.