Wait On Me

“Was your dessert good?”

“Of course it was. The cheesecake hasn’t changed any. Decadent as always.”

“Well, I’m glad. You hadn’t said much throughout dinner, so I was starting to get worried.”

“Jerry, why did you really want to see me tonight? I know talking about those stock options we opened together wasn’t it, so why don’t you just go ahead and tell me what’s on your mind?”

“I--I miss you, Peg, and I want to win you back.”

“I thought as much, but I’m still not sure why you wanted to meet me here.”

“Because it’s--it’s our restaurant, our table. The place where we met, the place where we dated, the place where I asked you to marry me....”

“Precisely, Jerry, that’s what I don’t understand. We’re through, and no matter how many pleasant memories you try to dredge up tonight, I’ll still only think of one--I think you know which.”

“…I--I never meant to hurt you, Margaret.”

“And yet you did! Imagine that!”

“It’s not as though it was planned it, though. I didn’t want to!”

“That’s not how it looked to me. It looked like you were enjoying yourself very much.”

“Geez, Peg, I’ve told you a million times! It was Halloween and everybody had on masks. I was drunk! I thought Melissa was you. You both had on cat costumes that night. It was an honest mistake.”

“Honest mistake, my pituitary gland! There’s no such thing!”

“Yes, there is, and I’m sick of you always treating me like I’m a child. Like I can’t understand you because you went to college and med school, and I’m just some lowly--”

“Stop it, Jerry! You know that never bothered me for a second. I had resources -- supportive parents with money, namely -- and you didn’t. You can’t keep beating yourself up over the past!”

“How can I not?! Everything I do is a magnificent screw-up. I barely passed high school, I didn’t go on to college, I’ve worked as a waiter my entire fucking life, and now I’ve lost you!”

“Most of those so-called screw-ups have reasons --very good reasons. You had to take care of Tommy, so you got a job as a waiter. You didn’t graduate with honors -- though you most certainly had the mind for it! -- because you worked so long and late that you couldn’t study. And you couldn’t just leave Tommy behind, could you? No. So you didn’t go off to school and you continued to work here. It’s actually admirable.”

“I have so many regrets though! I regret my parents’ dying most of all. They weren’t the best parents in the world, Peg, but they were my parents. And if they hadn’t been killed -- if they hadn’t died in that car crash -- I wouldn’t have been saddled with Tommy. D’you know that he never once said thank you to me? After all these years of busting my ass for tips -- taking double shifts whenever I could -- he never once said ‘Thanks, Jer, for raising me and for giving me a future. I really love you for it.’”

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“Well, he didn’t, and it sucks. Because now he’s gotten some Rachel girl knocked up and he’s dropping out of college after he’s halfway through. Can you believe that?! All my time and effort wasted. Eleven effing years! I should’ve let the foster care people take him. Lord knows my life would have been better. I’d have finished my senior year with honors, gone off to Columbia or wherever, gotten a degree, and started with a large salary at some well-to-do business, and--”

“--and you’d have never met me. If your parents hadn’t died, you wouldn’t have been faced with the dilemma of raising a nine year old boy or letting him disappear into the system. If you hadn’t chosen Tommy, you wouldn’t have gotten this job and you wouldn’t have waited on me that night.”

“Yeah, well, fat lot of good that’s done me. My whole life is a joke. I saved you from that horrible loser of a guy, won you over in the process, and managed to get a yes when I proposed. And then, one little misunderstanding -- just one -- and I lose the one good thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You--you can’t think that way. I’m not saying it wasn’t your fault because, well, it most certainly was. If I were to slink off into a closet during a costume party, I’d be sure that the person behind the mask was the person I thought it was -- before I started groping them.”

“Peggy, I told you. I was drunk. It was dark. She was wearing the same costume. It was an honest mistake.”

“And I told you. There are no such things as honest mistakes. You had to have known on some level that Melissa wasn’t me.”

“And there you go again, implying that I’m a dimwit!”

“No, Jerry, I’m not saying that at all! I’m just saying that if I meant so much to you, you would have known she wasn’t me. You would have known just by the way she smelled, the way she breathed, the way she held your hand to lead you into that closet.…”

“I--I can’t stand this. I love you with all my heart, Margaret Wilkes, and I won’t let you end us this way.”

“Jerry--Jerry, just don’t.”

“Why not? You’re not trying to lie and say you never had feelings for me, are you?”

“No, of course not! I loved you since the day I saw you, Jerry, and that’s the God honest truth. I still love you. I think about you all the time. I can’t tell you how many times I replay this one memory over and over in my head. It was morning -- the morning after we first made love -- and you had woken up before me. But you didn’t get up from bed and leave; you stayed there beside me cradling me, somewhat, in your arms. And when I finally woke up -- Lord knows how many minutes had passed -- you were staring down at me with such tenderness in your eyes, and I knew then -- even after only a month of having known you -- that you were the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”

“So spend it with me!”

“I can’t! Oh, I can’t, Jerry! Love is more than just -- just love. It’s trusting someone to be there for you through thick and thin, and I don’t trust you anymore.”

“Then let me earn it back!”

“I can’t! I just can’t let you back into my life. If I do, we’ll just be a repeat of my parents.”

“What?! No, I can’t believe that.”

“No, it’s true. My dad cheated on my mother when I was fourteen, and my mom took him back, and they never were the same since. Every time he’d call home and say he’d be home late from the office, she’d wonder if he really had work to do or if he was just out bonking someone. I won’t put myself or our children through that heartache.”

“Peggy, I think you’re overlooking the most important detail here: he wasn’t drunk. I was. He made a conscious decision to chase another woman. I didn’t.”

“But, Jerry, don’t you see? If all it takes is two Dole cups of beer and a ninety-nine cent mask for you to cheat, then we’re in for a rocky road.”

“Fine, I’ll never drink another drop in my life, Peggy. If that’s what it takes for me to keep you, then it’s a small price to pay.”

“You don’t understand.…”

“Oh, don’t give me that crap. I understand damn well what this is about. This isn’t about you and me; this is about your parents. They’ve been putting ideas in your head. ‘Oh, Megan dear, are you sure you want to marry him? Isn’t he, well, poor? He’ll never amount to anything; he’ll never be able to support you financially.’”

“Stop it. My parents loved you when we visited last June.”

“Yeah, but only as a person. Not as a prospective husband. Sure, they don’t mind me if I’m just Megan’s newest boy toy, but as soon as you mention anything serious.…”

“Stop. This isn’t about them.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.”

“Well, I think it is. It’s understandable. Really it is. You don’t want to turn into your mother. You don’t want to put this behind us, to act like it never happened, because of what she had to go through -- which is suffering through a marriage for the sake of her child. But that was her decision, Peg, and hers alone. And they’re still together, even though you’re grown, which has to say something. Your mother’s forgiven your father--”

“Just because she stayed with him doesn’t mean she’s happy!”

“Are you kidding me? The entire time we were in Florida they were laughing and kissing each other! You can’t tell me she’s not forgiven him.”

“Well, that’s my mother. It isn’t me.”

“Jesus, Peggy, how many times are we going to go through with this?! I love you. I love you. You’re the first thought in my head in the morning and the last one before bed. I can’t go one minute without being reminded of you. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re honest and kind, and I definitely don’t deserve you. But I want you with all my heart. I want to hold you every night before bed and wake up with you in my arms. I want to have dozens of children with you -- okay, so maybe just three, tops -- and support you in everything you do. I admit that I screwed up royally, but isn’t that what marriage is all about? To love and to cherish even when you want nothing more to punch your partner in the face for being an idiot? So love me, Peg, as much as you hate me for what I put you through.”

“I--that was extremely long-winded.”

“Yes, yes it was.”

“I will never forget what happened on Halloween.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“And I’ll never trust you completely and with all of my heart.”

“I understand.”

“And sometimes, just when I feel like it, I might have to punch you in the face.”

“So long as I can borrow some of your makeup to cover up any marks. Have to look professional for work, you understand.”

“And you have to promise that you’ll never -- never in a thousand years -- cheat. I mean it. I know it sounds so stupid -- so very stupid -- but . . . I can’t -- I won’t -- put up with any fooling around. And if you do, there will be no conversations over dinner in our favorite restaurant. You will never see me again. Is that clear? I will disappear, and you will never see me again. No matter how much you’re sorry, or how much you love me, or how much I love you and want to stay. I will disappear. I mean it! And if we have children, they’ll disappear with me, and you’ll never see them again either. You understand?”

“Yes! Yes, Peggy, I do! I will never put you through this ever again. I love you with all my heart.”

“Good --then it’s settled. I feel loads better now.”

“Me too, me too.”

“Jerry . . . I feel I have to be honest with you, though, if this is to be our clean slate.”

“What about?”

“Well, about how we met.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well . . . I had seen you before. I ate here about two weeks before the whole Rick incident, and I saw you waiting tables. I thought you were cute -- this irresistible combination of cute and handsome -- and I wanted to know you. To at least meet you, anyway, to see if you were worthy of such an attractive face--”

“And was I?”

“--So the next time I came in here -- which was with Rick, the disastrous blind date -- I requested the hostess put us at one of your tables.”

“And the rest, as they say, was history?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll have to be sure to thank Diane.”

“Jerry, I -- I never thanked you for waiting on me that night. I mean, if you hadn’t--”

“There’s no need to thank me. I should be thanking you! You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Margaret, and I intend to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

“Oh, Jerry, I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now what do you say about getting out of here?”

“Just let me grab my purse.”