Shattered Glass & Broken Hearts

“Em, we didn’t bring you here to make you mad. Honestly,” Hanna told Emily a few minutes later as the three girls sat on a balcony on an upper floor of the House of Blues. Emily had yet to say a word to either of her friends, though it wasn’t out of anger. She was thinking.

“Em? Are you okay?”

This time it was Jocelyn’s voice she heard, and this time she actually looked up, forcing a small smile onto her face. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she tried to reassure her friends. “Just thinking, that’s all.”

“Is that a good thing?” Hanna asked her, still not believing that Emily was perfectly fine after being confronted with a figure from her past that she hadn’t seen in ten long years. Emily just nodded again, widening her smile in yet another attempt to calm her friends down.

“I promise,” she told her friends before she heard someone clear their voice behind her. She turned around and saw Ryan standing there, arms crossed over his chest as he looked directly at Jocelyn.

“Can we talk, babe?” He asked her, arching his eyebrow at her.

“Uh…sure,” Jocelyn nodded before she bit her bottom lip. “But if it’s about Emily and Ronnie, I don’t want to hear about it. I—”

“It’s not about that. Just…come on,” he sighed, turning his back to her. “I’ll be on the bus, Joss.”

Jocelyn frowned, watching as her boyfriend left before she let out a loud exhale, crossing her arms tightly over her stomach. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” she muttered under her breath as she turned to face Emily and Hanna, who were both completely confused as to what had just happened. Hanna had never seen Ryan be anything but joking and smiling, and yet what she’d just seen was blatant seriousness.

“Joss…are you okay? Why’s he upset?” Hanna asked softly as she walked over to give her friend a comforting hug. Jocelyn just shook her head, biting her bottom lip as tears started pooling in the corners of her eyes.

“I uh…” Jocelyn started before she shook her head. “I don’t know how to say it.”

“You know we’ll be here for you. And if Ryan’s an asshole, I’ll just get Jacky to straighten him out,” Hanna smiled soothingly, trying to get her friend to smile. However, Jocelyn just seemed to feel worse.

“He’s not the one at fault. I am. I…I lied to him,” she whispered, lifting her head. “And I think he found out.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Emily frowned, also moving forward to hug her friend. “What happened?”

“I’m pregnant!” Jocelyn blurted out before she covered her mouth quickly, her eyes squeezing shut. “I mean…I think I am. I took the test and it was positive. I need to go to a doctor to confirm but—”

“You’re what?” Emily and Hanna blurted out, both at the same time before their jaws dropped. Neither one of them had ever envisioned Jocelyn becoming a mother, and especially not with a guy she’d known for less than a year.

“Joss, are you sure it wasn’t a malfunctioning test? I mean, that happens sometimes. Maybe you’re just…stressed out or something,” Emily tried to smile at her friend.

“I don’t think five tests in a row are all malfunctional, Em,” Jocelyn bit her bottom lip, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

Both Emily and Hanna fell silent upon hearing those words. The two just clung tighter to her, giving her a hug as big as they could. Neither of them knew what she was going through because truth be told, neither one of them had ever been in a situation like Kari was in at the moment.

“I suppose I should go talk to him,” Jocelyn finally whispered, wiping a few more tears out of her eyes before she turned to start walking towards the doors that would lead into the hallway she could exit to the busses from. “Thanks, guys. I know I’ll always have you guys, at the very least.”

“And you’ll have Ryan too,” Hanna smiled. “That boy is wrapped around your finger, Joss. He loves you. He probably just wants to hear you say the words himself.”

Jocelyn just gave her friend a watery smile before she walked out of the room, leaving Emily and Hanna alone to themselves. They stood there in silence for several moments before Emily finally walked over to sit down on the couch positioned on the other side of the wall, leaning her head back before she exhaled slowly.

“So…You weren’t lying earlier, right? About being okay with the Ronnie situation?” She asked softly, wringing her hands in her lap. “I just thought…”

“Really, Han, I’m fine,” Emily smiled as she tucked some hair behind her ears. “It’s been ten years, like you guys said. It’s time to put the past to rest. It’s time to bury the hatchet,” she nodded her head, as though she was trying to reassure herself of those words. “And I mean,” she continued, biting her bottom lip. “Ronnie didn’t exactly freak out either so…Maybe he’s ready to let the past die, too.”

“If there’s one thing I know about Ronnie, it’s that he never lets shit go, Em. He…” Hanna started before she shook her head. “All he used to talk about was how pissed he was about the people in his past. He’s never gotten over it.”

“Maybe I can help him with that,” Emily sighed softly, though a frown formed on her face when she realized just how hard it could be to change someone’s mind.

The Ronnie she’d known ten years ago had been extremely strong-willed and stubborn, and she could imagine that his personality had only gotten even more so like that in the last ten years since they’d spoken with one another. It was something she’d always disliked about him, because it made had made it hard for him to talk with sometimes about some things. But Emily was hoping that maybe now that they were both older, she could help him overcome that.

“Oh shit,” Hanna grinned as she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. “The show starts in fifteen minutes. You want to be on the side of the stage, right?” She asked, knowing already that Emily would probably feel more secure there.

“Yeah, the side sounds great,” Emily smiled to her friend as she nodded. She had to admit that she was a little bit nervous about seeing Ronnie’s band play, especially since she’d be in close proximity to him. But she also knew that she had no reason to be nervous. Ronnie would never hurt her intentionally, and she knew she didn’t need to be afraid of him.

“Are you ready to head over there? I kind of want to see the opening band,” Hanna smiled as she started to walk towards the door that would lead into the hallway. “After the show, I think we’re all going out to eat…You’re more than welcome to come, if you want,” she added with a small, nervous smile.

“Sure,” Emily grinned. “It’s been too long since we’ve hung out for more than a few hours, and besides, I need to get to know your boyfriends to know if they’re good enough for the girls who are practically my sisters.”

Hanna just rolled her eyes playfully and then waited for Emily so that the two girls could make their way to the side of the stage. They were both excited, but for completely separate reasons. Hanna was excited because she was going to get to spend time with her boyfriend, the person she’d sorely been missing.

The girls had only been standing on the side of the stage for about ten minutes when the lights went dark and the crowd started to scream. It wasn’t Ronnie’s band playing right away, but Emily could tell that everyone in the crowd was ready to get the show started. She remembered how long the line had been, and realized that most of these kids in attendance had probably been here since noon while waiting in line.

Throughout the two opening bands, Emily couldn’t help but feel her excitement growing, probably because of how much energy the crowd was putting forth towards the stage. She remembered her brother’s band, and how their fans were much the same way. She remembered being back in high school, watching them play when Ronnie had been in the band. Even then, she’d known he’d make it to the big time in music because of how big of a personality he had. He’d been born to be on stage singing his heart out to the kids who paid to see his shows, anyone could see that. Emily was just thankful he hadn’t died before it had a chance to happen.

Guilt panged in her chest when she thought about the fact that she hadn’t been there to help him through the drug addiction he’d faced after the car accident. Emily wasn’t going to lie to herself or to anyone else. She had kept up on Ronnie while they hadn’t been talking, and throughout the last ten years, she knew he’d been through a hell of a lot more than the average person. Of course, so had her brother.

“Where’s Joss? The boys are gonna be on any minute now, and I know she didn’t want to miss tonight’s show,” Hanna whispered, pulling Emily out of her thoughts long enough to blink.

“Didn’t she say she was going to the bus with Ryan? Maybe they’re still there,” Emily pointed out before Hanna shook her head.

“He better fucking hope they’re not because these kids will tear down the stage if they don’t play because Ryan’s getting laid,” she muttered under her breath, nodding her head towards the crowd. The curtains had already been pulled, but there was a small space between the curtain and the wall, and Emily could see how wild the kids were getting while waiting for Ronnie’s band to take stage. They were already chanting his name, and several girls were screaming their hearts out, proclaiming their love for him. It made Emily chuckle.

“Honestly, those girls drive me insane,” Hanna shook her head. “I don’t understand it, Em. They’re like rabid dogs over him, sometimes. I don’t see it.”

“I do,” Emily murmured softly. But then again, she realized, she actually did love Ronnie, unlike those girls out in the crowd who just liked his appearance and his music. There was nothing wrong with that, of course. And she was willing to bet that more than a few of them really did think they were in love with him. She remembered being their age and feeling that way about singers of her favorite bands, but then when she’d gotten together with Ronnie, all of that had changed because suddenly, she’d had a taste of real love and she knew that nothing could come close to it. Those girls in the audience would find that out for themselves someday, Emily thought, and that was why they didn’t annoy her as much.

“Of course you do,” Hanna smiled, giving her friend’s shoulder a reassuring pat. “He’s your man, after all.”

“What?” Emily scoffed, shaking her head. “Ronnie’s not my man, Hanna. He hasn’t been mine in ten years and he probably never will be again.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Hanna smirked. “It seems like he still wants you. Nobody just runs away like he did in those circumstances without real feelings behind it. I don’t think he ever stopped loving you.”

“It’s been ten years, Hanna,” Emily reminded her friend with a frown. Ten years was plenty of time for Ronnie to have fallen out of love with her.

“Yeah, it has been,” Hanna agreed before she pointed out with a small smile, “But in those ten years, have you stopped loving him?”

Before Emily could answer that, she heard the crowd explode in cheers and screaming as a steady bass line sounded throughout the small club, the curtains opening up and lights hitting the stage. On the other side of the stage, she saw Ronnie standing, getting ready to enter the stage. For a brief moment, their eyes met and that was when Emily wondered to herself, what if his feelings for her hadn’t changed in the last ten years?