Shattered Glass & Broken Hearts

Emily hadn’t been expecting Ronnie’s music to be quite as bitter as it was, though she couldn’t say that it was bad music. She actually liked the songs; she just wondered why it was that he seemed so angry about the past when he had been the one to put himself in the situations he’d been in. The entire time he was on stage, he didn’t once stop giving everything he had to the crowd. He interacted with them in the same way Max did, and that was refreshing to her.

She loved being able to watch him perform again, to see the look that took over his eyes as he ran across the stage, occasionally taking flight and doing stage dives as well. He was truly invested in the music; in the fans, doing everything he could to give them an amazing show. And the fans definitely gave everything they had to him as well.

By the time he came off the stage with the rest of the guys, they had done a three song encore and they’d been on stage for a little over an hour. Emily had seen the crowd get rowdier and rowdier as each song played, and especially when Ronnie came back out on stage for the encore dressed in a suit. She had to admit, he cleaned up well, even with all the sweat and his dark hair a mess on top of his head.

At the end of the set, he threw the microphone stand out into the crowd and she watched as it almost hit a girl near the front in the head, though she dodged it and allowed the people behind her to take it, though what they were planning on doing with it, Emily couldn’t say. It wasn’t as though the mic stand was something they could just walk out of the club with.

“I told you they were great, didn’t I?” Hanna beamed next to her, pulling Emily’s attention to her friend with a wide smile. “They’re fucking fantastic, aren’t they?”

“They are,” Emily nodded, also smiling as she watched Jacky walk over to Hanna. She still hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Jocelyn, though since Ryan was on stage, she figured there had to be a good reason as to why Joss wasn’t there too.

“Everybody’s gonna be back in the greenroom for a few minutes until we figure out what we’re doing for food,” Jacky told Hanna with a smile as he turned to face Emily. “You can come too, if you want. You’re probably hungry after the show, yeah?”

Emily nodded, agreeing with the guitarist. She was definitely hungry, especially since she hadn’t eaten since noon. Jacky and Hanna wandered off towards the greenroom in the back, and Emily chose to follow behind them, not wanting to get lost in the building, even though she knew it was a small place and chances were, someone could help her if she really needed it.

When they got to the greenroom, she smiled when she saw Jocelyn already sitting in there, Ryan next to her. The couple was holding hands and it was clear to Emily that whatever issues Ryan had had earlier had been dealt with. Both of them looked quite content, and Jocelyn was positively beaming as she rested her head on Ryan’s shoulder.

It almost made Emily feel a little bittersweet. She could remember times when she’d been that happy with Ronnie, no matter how long ago it had been. Some things just couldn’t be forgotten, and the way love made a person feel was one of those things.

“So how’d you like the music?”

The voice behind her caught her off guard and she almost fell before she caught herself, turning to come face to face with Ronnie. His face was covered in sweat, like it always was after he finished a show. The suit he’d changed into for the finale was rumpled looking, with the tie pulled loose and the first two buttons of the white shirt undone, showing new ink on his chest that hadn’t been there the last time she’d seen him this close.

“I liked it,” she smiled at Ronnie, automatically reaching down to pull the hem of her dress lower in a feeble attempt to cover whatever scars she could.

He didn’t say a word, just studied her face for several moments. It was almost as though he was trying to see whether or not she was telling the truth. She was, he finally seemed to realize as he nodded to her before looking over at Ryan and Jacky.

“I’m gonna head out to the bus and take a shower before we go eat,” he told them before looking back at Emily. “…It was nice seeing you, Em. Really.”

“You asshole,” Jocelyn frowned at Ronnie with a glare. “She’s coming to eat, too.”

“I don’t need to,” Emily turned to face her friend. “I mean, if—”

“I didn’t realize she was coming with us,” Ronnie cut Emily off with a hesitant smile, almost like he was apologizing. Emily knew the words I’m sorry wouldn’t pass his lips, however. Ronnie wasn’t the type to apologize and in the entire time she’d known him…or, well, when she had known him, he’d never apologized.

“Damn right she is,” Joss growled. “She’s my best friend. If anybody’s not coming to eat, it’s you.”

Ronnie chuckled at Jocelyn’s defensiveness, but he understood it. He could see that the two girls were good friends; that they were as close as friends could possibly be. It made him happy, knowing Emily had those kinds of friends. Back in high school, she never had. She’d only ever hung around with the band and Max, and Ronnie would hardly consider the guys her friends. They may have looked out for her and been there to fill in the void, but friendship was something they hadn’t really provided for her.

“Didn’t you say you were going to shower?” Jocelyn arched her eyebrow when Ronnie didn’t move. “You stink.”

“What’s with the feistiness, babe?” Ryan asked, obviously surprised by the way Jocelyn was acting. It didn’t surprise Emily, however. She’d seen this attitude on her friend before. It was how she always got when she felt someone wasn’t being treated right.

“He insulted Em,” Jocelyn frowned as she continued glaring at Ronnie. “I don’t care how long they’ve known each other, she’s still my best friend and it’s—”

“I’m sorry,” Ronnie spoke, cutting her off as he turned to face Emily this time. His brown eyes were looking directly into hers, and his next words caught Emily by surprise. “I’m sorry, Em,” he added in a softer whisper. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just figured you probably weren’t coming with us. I’d be glad if you still want to come eat.”

“Uh,” Emily started, unsure of what to make of Ronnie’s words. The Ronnie she’d known ten years ago never would have apologized, even to her. And the Ronnie she’d known ten years ago would have snapped back at Jocelyn, too. She was starting to learn that the old Ronnie and the new Ronnie were two completely separate people.

She wondered if it was a good thing, and then decided that it was. The old Ronnie hadn’t been healthy, and the person he was now…Well, he seemed a lot happier, a lot more relaxed. It made her happy to see him doing well.

“Thanks,” she finished, deciding that was all she could really say.

Ronnie didn’t say anything else as he turned to walk out of the greenroom towards the exit doors that would take him to the bus. Emily wondered why he wasn’t just going to shower here in the venue, since that was where Jacky and Derek had both gone.

“He’s an ass,” Jocelyn muttered under her breath, causing Emily to turn and face her friend, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

“No, he’s not,” she said simply as she sat down on the chair. “He’s just Ronnie.”

Jocelyn arched her eyebrow, wondering if that was truly how Emily felt. She had seen for the last few years since they’d been friends just how badly the breakup had affected the brunette girl. She’d seen the constant look of sorrow in Emily’s eyes any time she saw old photos of Ronnie and herself, and any time Max’s band played old songs that Ronnie had written on stage, Jocelyn knew it hurt Emily.

So when she saw the look of contentment in Emily’s eyes, Jocelyn was completely floored. She had always known Emily’s feelings had never changed, but she’d always assumed that her friend didn’t really want anything to do with Ronnie again. It was why she had been hesitant to go along with Hanna’s idea to start with. She was worried that Ronnie would abandon Emily again, just like he had when she’d needed him most. Obviously, however, Emily wasn’t worried about that judging by the look on her face.

“Em?” Jocelyn murmured softly, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll forgive him this time,” Jocelyn relented, knowing that Emily hated when someone held a grudge. “But if he hurts you again, he’s going to have one hell of a beating coming his way.”

Emily couldn’t help but smile softly, nodding her head as she looked down at the floor. So many questions were flooding her mind at the moment, she couldn’t really concentrate on what Jocelyn was saying to her.

Was tonight a one-off thing, where she’d see Ronnie for the night and then never see him again? Was he going to just let her out of his life again, even though he clearly missed her? She’d seen the look in his eyes; heard it in his voice. He had missed her, and he’d felt guilty about leaving in the first place. It was undeniable. Ronnie was a skilled liar, it was true. But he wasn’t so good that he could hide his emotions. Emily had always said Ronnie wore his heart on his sleeve, whether it came to writing his lyrics or singing on stage. She’d always been able to see his feelings; been able to know how he felt, and she didn’t think that had changed with time.

The real question was, however, was whether or not he was planning on staying in her life now that they’d seen one another again. Emily knew it would piss Max off just knowing they’d seen each other once, but she wasn’t going to let her brother stop her. But would Ronnie even want to mend the wounds between them? Or would he just let them fester even more?