Shattered Glass & Broken Hearts

Emily took a deep breath as she walked up the front walkway of Ryan and Joss’s small townhome, feeling more than anxious. She knew already that everyone and their mother was inside waiting for her – probably to chew her out because of her little disappearing act. She knew that they had every right to be upset – hell, she probably would have been if she’d have been in any of their places.

But they didn’t understand how frustrating it was for her to be around Ronnie right now. Her feelings were starting to come bubbling up to the surface again, even after she’d tried to lock them away. She was starting to feel so in love with Ronnie again and it hurt so bad because of their shared tragic past.

He would never want her again – not because he didn’t love her, but because of the guilt. And Emily? Well, she didn’t know if she really wanted him back to begin with. After all, he was the one who’d put her in all this pain. He was the one who’d hurt her this bad.

She opened the door and it took less than five seconds for everyone waiting inside to start speaking again. She took a deep breath, looking up at the faces washed over with relief and anxiety as she stepped inside before closing the door.

“Em, you worried us—”

“Sick, I know,” she cut Hanna off before she sighed deeply. “The fact of the matter is, I’m fine.”

“Emily,” Joss frowned. “Fine doesn’t mean taking off for two days and not telling anyone. Sweetie, you can always—”

“I’m fine, Joss,” Emily sighed, giving her friend a somewhat sharp glare before she pushed her hair out of her eyes. Ronnie was waiting outside – or had he taken off already like she suspected? After their brief hug behind the Hollywood sign, he’d offered to give her a ride back to her place so she didn’t have to deal with the lectures she was sure to get from her friends.

Joss bit her bottom lip, clearly having more to say. She finally decided that it would be wiser for her to keep her mouth shut and she pushed her hair out of her eyes before she walked over to where Jacky was standing, concern written all over his face as well.

“What?” Emily asked. The room was dead silent now – everyone had shut up after her small snap at Joss, and it made her uncomfortable and uneasy. Why was everyone looking at her with sympathy? She thought they’d all be mad at her – that they’d all want to yell at her for disappearing.

So why weren’t they?

“I suppose someone needs to tell her…” Hanna finally whispered softly. “Em…”

“What?” Her response was quiet as well. In an instant, she realized something had to be wrong. No one would look like that – would talk with such morose sympathy unless something bad had happened. Had someone died? She quickly checked the room for any familiar faces of friends that weren’t there, but she saw everyone.

Was it one of her parents? Max, maybe? Oh, God. Her stomach lurched at the thought of her brother. Had something happened to him?

“Max…” Hanna muttered. “He uh…Em…He’s in the hospital.”

Emily’s eyes widened and she took a step back. What the fuck had happened while she’d been gone? Hadn’t one of her parents thought to call and let her know that her only brother was sitting in some hospital somewhere? Just as the thought hit her, she remembered all the voicemails she’d deleted from her phone, along with all the texts, and she cursed herself.

They had tried to let her know. She just hadn’t listened.

“Where is he?” She whispered, voice cracking.

“Vegas,” Jacky was the next to speak, knowing that Hanna was uncomfortable saying the next words that needed to be said. “Em…He overdosed.”

“No,” she shook her head furiously, hand already on the doorknob, body ready to bolt. She didn’t want to hear that. Max was clean; he had to be clean because he’d promised her after the last time that he’d be done with it. He’d promised her there would be no more drugs; that he’d never scare her this way again.

They had to be lying. This had to be some kind of sick joke designed to punish her for leaving them in the dark for the last couple of days, right?

Only, she didn’t think it was. The looks on their faces was too real; the sympathy in their eyes tangible. She knew that they were serious. Her older brother; her only brother, was lying somewhere half-comatose in a hospital once again.

She didn’t wait for anyone else to speak as she turned and swung the door open, bolting down the walkway she’d only moments before walked up. Tears blinded her vision and she stumbled on one of the cracks, her knee colliding with the ground with a sharp hiss of skin tearing off of muscle before she got back up and continued running.

“Emily?” Ronnie called after her as she started trying to open the locked passenger door.

“Just get me home, Ronnie,” she whimpered. “Please. I need to go. Now. Please.”

He frowned but nodded, pushing the button to unlock his vehicle before he walked around to the driver’s side. He looked up at the door and saw Hanna and Joss both standing there, worried and concerned looks on their faces, and he knew that something bad had to have happened. He didn’t say anything to them as he climbed into the car before turning the key in the ignition, his eyes seeking out Emily’s as he started to slowly make his way towards the corner of the street so he could get her home.

“What happened?” He asked her quietly. “I’m here if you—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she stammered, the tears not stopping falling from her eyes as she tried to furiously blink them away. When that failed, she resorted to using the sleeve of the hoodie Ronnie had let her borrow to wipe them away, the fabric causing her skin to turn an angry red color.

“Em, you can’t lock shit like this inside yourself. Whatever it is, you need to let it—”

“It’s Max, okay?” She snapped in a low hiss. “He’s in the fucking hospital, probably half dead from a goddamn overdose, Ronnie. And it’s my fucking fault. Is that what I need to get off my chest? Is that any healthier than keeping it fucking locked away?”

She didn’t say another word as she crossed her arms tightly over her stomach, feeling sicker than she had in a long time. She needed to get to Vegas; needed to see Max with her own eyes. She was worried sick; was devastated, and she just wanted to see that he was still alive, if a bit worn.

“Em, I didn’t know,” Ronnie finally spoke after several minutes before he pushed some hair out of his eyes as he turned the blinker on so he could get in the freeway lane. “I would have told you.”

“I know.”

She didn’t say another word for the entire drive to her apartment. Once there, she fully expected Ronnie to turn the car around and head back to his place. She didn’t really want him around anyway; she had to pack and get stuff together to head back to Vegas for awhile. But when he turned the car off and got out with her, she arched her eyebrow.

“What are you doing?” She asked him as he followed her towards her apartment.

He shrugged, his eyes on the ground, hands in his pockets. “I’m going inside with you so I’m not left looking like a creeper in the parking lot, and then when you’re done packing, we’re driving to Vegas.”

Her eyes widened and her feet stopped in their tracks as she turned to face him, shaking her head. Ronnie, going back to Vegas? To see Max? She didn’t understand why he’d do that. He’d made it clear his stance on drugs, and especially about the fact that he couldn’t be around Max when he was drugged out.

So why on earth would he want to go to the hospital while Max was recovering from overdose?

“He might hate me, or he might not. I don’t know which it is, and I really don’t care,” Ronnie muttered. “The kid’s still like my brother, Em. I might have left, but I still love that fucker and I’ll be damned if I don’t go see that he’s okay.”

She sighed, taking a deep breath as she nodded, knowing that she couldn’t convince him it was a bad idea. The truth was, she actually didn’t mind him tagging along with her to Vegas. She was slowly getting used to having Ronnie around her again – she wasn’t comfortable, of course. But she was getting used to it.

“Alright,” she sighed, swiping the hair out of her eyes. She pulled her key from her pocket and used it to unlock the door before she stepped inside. She knew that the next twenty-four hours would be some of the most chaotic of her life. She knew that Ronnie and Max coming face to face again for the first time in ten years would possibly cause a huge fight. She also knew that his coming with her would make Max assume the two of them were together – which was not something she wanted him to think because it simply wasn’t true.

He followed her into the apartment and then sat down on the couch. She didn’t bother asking what he was going to do for clothes or anything – if he was any bit like Ryan or Jacky, chances were, he probably had clothes from tour still in a duffle bag in the back of his vehicle. She didn’t say a word as she began getting her own bag ready. She wasn’t nearly ready for this, but she knew it was happening and all she wished for was that it would go well. Somehow, though, she didn’t think it would. Fate always had a funny way of biting people in the ass, and she was sure this trip back to Vegas with Ronnie would be no exception.