Station De Coeur

I got home really late that night and when I got home, I found the apartment trashed with cider cans, beer bottles, toilet loo all over the place, and the place was still packed with people I had never seen before. The music was loud and wasn’t my kind of music which made me cringe as I entered the living room, finding my young aunt dancing on the table, her top gone and swinging above her head.

“Max!” She pointed at me and then jumped off the table- sort of failing as she fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes. “I locked your room!”

My Aunt was a graceful woman mostly and still acted twenty despite being thirty-five. She had a beautiful angular face with stunning natural black hair and boobs I was jealous of. Her and her sister, my mum, had never gotten along; Aunt preferred the party life, my mum liked the seriousness of being trapped in marriage and having a dull life. Auntie tried to free herself from the family as I had done but my family were like Bloodhounds.

I nodded my head to her sensibility. “Good, can I have the key then?”

“Its…” I could see the clogs working in her mind through her eyes. She wasn’t completely drunk which pleased me; this was just her happy stage. She put her hand into her bra and pulled out a rather sweaty key. I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself, and took hold of the key with my index and thumb at the tip of the key. “Going to join us?”

“No, thanks.”

I turned sharply on my heels and began to push my way through the people to my room. I unlocked the door and hurried in, locking it behind me. I sighed deeply and walked into the bathroom, washing the sweat from the key. However, I learnt from that woman that the bra was a good place to put your things if you don’t plan to take it off- we were modest women and never take our bras off unless we’re at home or in an environment where it was acceptable.

I placed the key into my pencil case where I wouldn’t lose it and stripped my clothes until I was in nothing but my underwear and fell back onto my bed, my hands resting on the dip of my abdomen. I closed my eyes and began to think of Elliot who I hadn't stopped thinking about all day. I could still remember his odd smell mixture of sweet and musky.

All of a sudden I found myself hallucinating Elliot slowly kissing up my body and I shivered at his touch, his tongue making me want to groan out loud- it felt forbidden and it only aroused me more. Do friends do this? I could sense my hunger for him and yet he wasn't truly there for me to kiss and lick.

I felt that feeling, once again, that I had felt when I was a child and had watched porn or even masturbated. I felt like I had broken an Innocence rule. I scrambled to the edge of my quilt and pulled it over me.

Friends don’t do this!



Me and Elliot hadn’t met up for a few days because he had been busy and I didn’t mind so much because I had caught the flu so I was at home for a while. I didn’t want to mention anything to him because I felt like it was a little pathetic- I was fine and I don’t need sympathy. However I really could do with company since Aunt and her new googly play-boy were always taking up the apartment with their love-doveyness. I wasn’t so much jealous but more of felt angry that my Aunt was so committed to these things.

When Aunt had left for work, I had resorted myself into my bedroom, listening to a bit of Japanese Vocaloid which had been turned down onto a low volume because my ears felt sensitive. I was finishing for my preparation for my Fashion Show which was the next day on Saturday and I still had no one to go with since I had two tickets and Arabelle couldn't go because of her boyfriend. Rhea was going to take her current boyfriend Jonah- oh, he was one of those ‘oh I’m so gangster’ boys but in nature he was as soft as muck.

I coughed violently and could feel the hunger pain rise; I set down my papers on my desk and grabbed my quilt and wrapped it around my body as I sat on the floor. A pain began to swell up in my head and I began to cry, wrapping the quilt around my head and fell to my side. It felt like someone was drilling into my head.

And what I feared the most about this illness was that gagging moment and then… I threw up all over the wooden floors. I closed my eyes and wiped the vomit from my lips. It tasted bitter and disgusting and smelt of the same description. I pushed away my quilt and stripped the sheet from it, putting it into the wash and grabbing the bucket to wash my stomach content.

Just as I was finishing, my heart was pounding despite the lack of effort I had put in, when the Entry telephone began to ring. I crawled towards the entrance and finally got up and answered the call.

“Hello?” My voice was croaky and I could hardly breathe through my short breaths.

“Hey, it’s Rhea and Elliot. Don’t mind if we come visit?”

“Yeah… hold on…” I put down the phone and pressed the button which allowed them entry.