Darkness Within Light

“Desiree?!”

I opened my eyes. Zak had both hands over my sternum and his mouth was inches from mine. He had been performing CPR on me.

I coughed. “You’re doing it wrong.”

“Oh, thank God!” He sighed loudly, a tear landing on my forehead as he gathered me up in his arms.

At this point I wasn’t strong enough to keep up the “Tough-Broad Desiree” front. At all. I broke down and sobbed into his chest. He pulled me even closer. It took a moment to realize that he was actually crying too.

He squeezed me tight, almost painfully, and shakily whispered, “I thought you were gone.”

I couldn’t speak. I could hardly breathe. I kept sobbing until It was all out and the bowling ball in my throat had subsided.

Finally the hiccups subsided and I looked up at him with hazily. “What happened?”

He brushed my fuzzy curls from my face. “I heard you scream and when I got in the room I felt a block of ice that... I dunno. I couldn’t move. I couldn't get to you. I saw you get yanked out of my bed and then you were thrown down on the floor. When I finally got to you I couldn’t find a heartbeat.”

I groaned. “You need to update your CPR certs, Konan.”

He looked at me through furious, watery eyes. “What happened on your end?”

I closed my eyes and choked out, “The shadow that just refuses to leave me alone was here. It followed me here!” I fought hysteria.

Zak’s eyes grew wide. “You saw it?”

I nodded. “It said ‘I told you that you’d never be safe,’ and I felt like my body was being ripped apart.” I sighed, “Again.”

His grip on me tightened. “Again? What the hell?!”

“That’s how it felt when I was thrown against a wall 7 years ago.”

Zak pressed kisses into my cheek, forehead, and hair. “I thought it was one of my ghosts. We have got to do something about this.”

YOUR ghosts? I filed that away for later.

He continued to dote over me until the sun came up. I finally fell asleep in his arms around seven am.

No dreams. Thank God.

I awoke to a soft bed and an abundance of pillows. I sat up. I was still in Zak’s bed but he was nowhere to be found.

My body reacted to my quick movement.

“OUCH!” I grumped, laying back down.

“Sweetie?” I heard Zak’s voice from another room. Before I could out of his bed, he was on me. Holding me.

Protecting me…

“Zak, I’m fine,” I worked myself up to a sitting position and moaned. “Kind of.”

He pulled me even closer. “Is there anything I can do?”

I shook my head. He pulled back, took my hand, and pressed a kiss into my palm. “Just let me know.”

As he turned to go, “Zak, what did you mean by ‘your’ ghosts?”

He stopped and sighed, then turned and smiled. “I’ve acquired quite a collection of spirits since starting my investigations. Wanna see?”

No.

I shrugged and climbed slowly out of his bed.

I followed him through hallways and to a set of basement stairs. I hesitated, but gave a mental what the hell and moved on.

Zak has a dungeon. True story.

He then began to tell me about the different things he felt he had brought home with him. How he had to bring in a priest for cleansing on more than one occasion.

“What did you do, bring them flowers?” I mocked.

He laughed, but shot me a quizzical glance. “Have you ever seen the show?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Zak, I’m already sensitive to that stuff! Ghost hunter shows and movies just remind me of what I’ve been trying to avoid for more than a decade.”

“So you’ve never seen any ghost hunting show?

“They scare me. And what’s out there knows that they scare me, so it plays on that fear.”

He looked at the floor.

“It’s just a decision I’ve made for my own well-being… but what does it matter if I’ve seen your show?”

He took my hand and led me out of the basement and into an office. “It would give you a taste of an explanation on why and what I deal with.”

We pulled up the internet and he sat me down in his chair. “Search Ghost Adventures, you pick whatever clips you want.”

My eyes bugged at the massive amount of videos. “Good grief.”

Zak chuckled, patted my shoulder, and left the room. Soon the smell of eggs and bacon began to fill the air.

The first clip I selected was from when the guys went to Poveglia island.

Nick asked the air to use their energy in italian, they saw orbs and were hearing noises, then Zak went haywire.

He screamed curses and grabbed at Aaron and was breathing heavily. He snapped his camera in half before Nick got to him. Nick touched his shoulder and he slammed a shoulder into the wall, sliding down to the floor, like he was trying to shut out a physical attack. He cried out again grabbed a handful of dead leaves and squeezing them to dust.

He shouted "STOP!!!" as Nick kept a hand on his shoulder, telling him to let go and chill out. He eventually opened his hands and slowly stood up, his eyes looking terrified and enraged at the same time.

Nick caught him by the arm and dragged him out of the room they were in, while Zak gasped heavily for air like he was in the middle of an epic beatdown.

No way...

I went to another clip, The Ancient Ram Inn, where they were conducting a ritual in an old building over an ancient burial ground. Idiots, I thought. You can't be serious!

Oh but they were. They performed the ritual as the witch, ironically smart enough to not be involved, gave them directions. Zak layed on the floor.

I felt my body go cold. No wonder...

Of course, they had feelings of multiple things entering the room, crawling over Zak, attacking Aaron, displaying seething growls and demonic cries. Even the witch ran to her alter to be "protected."

Yeah right, bitch.

I finally clicked on a longer clip, that looked like a video montage of multiple investigations at some country music bar in Kentucky. Bobby Mackey's Music World.

Zak was scratched, multiple people were viciously mocked and frightened, a priest was also scratched, and the evidence section of the clip began.

The one that stood out to me was an EVP that they captured on their return to the club. They were using a spirit box to communicate, but a recorder got "It's going down with the Bishop."

My jaw dropped. You could clearly hear at least three different voices in this one statement... and it made my blood freeze. No, no, no... I blinked back the tears in my eyes.

I could feel myself shaking. Damn, Des, what happened to that tough mechanic nerd girl that boasted a claim to not even have tear ducts? Clean the sand out of your vag, already, woman!

Zak poked his head in the door, “Breakfast is served, milady.”

I turned to face him and he paled. He came to me quickly and put an arm around my waist.

“Not what you were expecting, huh?”

“Do you have a death wish?! You’re a total dip-shit! What the hell do you expect is going to happen when you mess with that stuff? Provoking the fuck out of the demonic is something that even the angels won’t dare to do!”

In the Bible, in the first chapter of Jude, this is brought up when Satan and Michael the Archangel are fighting over the body of Moses. Michael wouldn't dare to provoke, except to say "The LORD rebuke you."

“What do you expect me to do? “

“Zak I’m not saying that you should stop what you’re doing. But I’m saying that you need to know what the historic consequences are of what you’re playing with. I know these all too well, which is why I don’t mess with it anymore.”

“I know the risks as well, Desi.”

I rolled my eyes. “The one that follows me is like the worst of all three of these clips rolled into one. It hasn’t attempted to possess yet, but it makes a point to terrify and cause pain. It likes to let me know it’s here…”

I bit my lip, “...and it likes to fuck with the men I date, almost as if it doesn’t want to share me.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and sighed, resting my forehead on his chin. “I don’t think I could handle you getting hurt beyond return because of me.”

“Don’t you worry, sweetie. It takes more than a stupid demon to scare me off.”

Pompous ass, I thought. “So, breakfast?”

He gave a bow, gesturing towards the hallway. “Right this way.”
He led me to the table and pulled back my chair for me. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze and set a plate with a couple pieces of bacon and two giant messy pancakes in front of me.

It really was very sweet of him, but at this point I was just too stirred up to be hungry. I didn’t want to be rude though so I picked at my plate and nibbled at the bacon while he ate.
He raised an eyebrow at me, “No good?”

I shook my head. “It tastes great, I just am not hungry.”
He set his fork down and put his hands loosely on the table, leaning forward on his elbows.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Well yeah, I’m fine. Just shook up.”

His left hand grabbed mine and his thumb stroked the top of my hand. “Anything else I can do?”

I looked at him, contemplating how he operates. He is a paranormal investigator, so one would expect him to understand what I’m going through.

But he’s a man who will bully the unseen, which is a clear indication that he doesn’t fully understand what he’s up against. I appreciated his concern, but it was hard to find much comfort in what i saw as ignorance to the depth of my plight.

“No Zak, thank you. I think I want to fly down to Dallas this weekend though.”

A small smile crept over his face. “What for?”

“I miss my church.” It was a lame excuse, but I really did. I hadn’t found anything here in Vegas that was a "non-denom" church or that was reformed apologetics-savvy.

Lots of Catholic churches though. I just wasn’t ready to dig on that.

“Doesn’t your church podcast?”

“Well yeah, but it’s a totally different experience when you’re just listening to a sermon on your headphones from being there with a group of people who are there for worship singing and praying and learning. The feel and the emotions are different, I absorb things differently in that environment.”

He nodded. “So you’re going to fly down for church and then fly back?”

“Well dad said they could afford to fly me back from time to time.”

He stood up, taking our plates. “How about you let me buy your ticket.” He set the plates in his kitchen sink and came back to the table.

Excuse me?

“Zak…”

He shushed me with a hand to my mouth. “I want to go with you.”

I sighed. This will be interesting.