Darkness Within Light

It had been a month. I had talked off and on with the guys over Facebook and email. I’d learned that Nick and his wife have a daughter. I learned that Aaron was divorced, and we shared a lot of sentiment over the similarities over what had tormented us and had driven away those we tried to get close to. And Zak… I didn’t talk to him as much as the other guys. Honestly, part of me was still aggravated at him for getting so… touchy… with me. Again, I convinced myself that he was flirtatious like that with most women he encounters, and I am SO not in his league. I didn’t think he was being genuine, and to be honest I really didn’t want to know for sure if he was or not. He had written me several emails, and I’d responded half-heartedly to them.

You can’t tell if someone is being genuine over email, so I really had no evidence in the contrary to pull me out of my attitude about him.

Plus my job was more than a little stressful. Our work was losing 90% of the business from one of our top 3 customers and so the action plan to un-freeze raises was put on hold. Different departments were even being cut back on their hours, even though that made almost everything ship late. I came in 6 years ago as a Material’s Coordinator (a.k.a. Stockroom bitch) and had moved up to design two years ago, which is nice. Going from a workroom with 20 other people to having my own low-lighted office took some getting used to.

At least it wasn’t a cubicle.

However, since I am the newbie in my department, I’m nervous about the discussions I’m hearing from managers and supervisors offices. What if they do lay-offs?

On top of all of that, Holly had gotten herself into more man trouble and I had been on the phone with her every other night working through it. The guy she was dating was a high class douche. Handsome, wealthy, and really had no idea how to keep from growing bored with the beautiful women that he dated. Holly couldn’t just leave him though, even when she caught him cheating, even if he got abusive with her. I kept telling her that one day she’ll get hurt if she doesn’t walk away now, and every time the answer is “Yeah, that’s probably true, but I want to try to change him.”

“What, like you changed your ex-husband?” The poison-spitting contest has commenced.

“James was a freak of nature.”

“And you KNOW this guy isn’t?”

“You don’t know him, Des!”

“You’re right. I don’t. Let me know how that goes for you.” I slammed the phone down.

I’d answer for it tomorrow, but whatever.

God, why does she have to learn every fucking thing the hard way?

I felt a peace fold over me and I let my high-strung freak-out session go. ...I say the same thing about you...

I sighed. So quick to forget. I popped open my lime green thinline Bible and dug around in Galatians again for a while. I’m still unable to get over Paul.

If they serve beer in heaven, I want to pick his brain over one.

Speaking of beer…

I dialed Brian. “Down for a pint or two?”

“Just tell me where to go, Xena.”

* * * * * *

Brian and I met up at the bar around the corner from the office. He’s my favorite coworker, because we both like RX7s and because we both drink good beer. He has a 3rd generation RX-7. (...which looks like either a sexier Dodge Viper, or maybe a beefed up Miata.) It’s sex red, and he is way more anal retentive with his car than I am with mine.

And he’s almost as gorgeous as his car.

We probably would be dating, but we just don’t want to cause drama at the company. Both of us are mature enough to handle it, but most of the people who we wouldn’t care to find out are not. So we just keep things at a platonic level for now. He’s an awesome man.

A familiar guitar riff chimed on my phone. The opening guitar solo for Disciple’s Be The Quiet is my message tone on my phone. I unlocked my screen and saw it was a text from an unknown number.

::Only 3 more weeks!::

::Who is this?::

Brian ordered us another round of Guinness, and I took a long, deep pull. I showed him the anonymous message. “Friend of yours?”

He grinned. “Nope. Must be one of your many boyfriends.”

I snorted. "In your dreams, Tony Stark."

"No, Tony Stark doesn't like his favorite women having a bunch of boyfriends."

"True."

He lit up a smoke and looked at me. “Wait, isn’t that area code Las Vegas? Did Holly get a new phone?”

Holly had tried to date him at one point but never managed to get around to it. I think it was because he was more interested in me.

“I don’t think so.”

::Its Zak::

“Shit!” I didn’t realize Holly had given him my number.

Brian laughed, “wow! That sounds promising!”

I rolled my eyes. “Just some hotshot from Vegas that I met through Holly,” which was mostly true. Didn’t want to go into the details of who it was. I could imagine the never-ending ridicule. I decided to play it cool.

::Oh, hey. Yeah, the concert is going to be the bomb. Mute Math is amazing live.::

I read it aloud as I typed, causing Brian’s eyebrows to perk up. “What concert?”

“I’m going to see Incubus, Linkin Park, and Mute Math with Holly and some of her buddies next month.”

My phone went off again. ::LOL Id never even heard of them before but im more excited that I get 2 see u!::

There it is. Get real, prick.

I typed back furiously, trying not to broadcast the frustration on my face. ::I’m sure all of the other girls you know in Texas are dropping their panties in anticipation, so if you get around to it…::

Brian and I continued talking, drinking, talking, more drinking. I got buzzed enough that I bummed a cigarette from him. It was another 20 minutes before I got the next message.

::Desiree, what makes you think I’m like that?::

Really? What would make me think differently? I slammed back the rest of the shot of tequila I was sipping on and dramatically slammed it down on the bar.

::From what Holly and I saw online, I’d say it’s pretty obvious that I’m nothing compared to the broads you bump shoulders with on a regular basis. You’re a fucking sex pot, Zak!::

Wow. Way to sound like a jealous bitch, Desiree. I wish there was an un-send button… which really is a clear indication that it was time to tap out.

I paid my tab before the bartender gave me the chance to order another round.

::Desiree, believe it or not I do have a private life. Most of the baiting crap is just publicity stunts.::

I stared at my phone, chewing on his message. I came to the brilliant conclusion of “Whatev,” and eyeballed my still-half-full beer.

::So that one day, that wasn’t just another ordinary day in the life of Zachary Bagans?::

I chugged the rest of my Guinness, eliciting sarcastic “beer abuse” comments from both Brian and my bartender. I laughed, said my goodbyes, and I walked out to my car to let it warm up when my phone started ringing, playing a pounding Bloody Beetroots melody.

“Bueno,” I chirped, not thinking to check for the caller ID.

Damn alcohol.

“Des, of course that wasn’t just another day for me. You are an awesome, rare women. You’re so energetic, but at the same time so reserved, like you’re hiding a secret. I like it. There’s something about you that sticks.”

“That’s because I’m severely ADD, and I’ve trained myself to just keep my trap shut than be pegged for a moron. As for the sticky part, I don’t think I showered that day.”

He laughed. “I am being serious though.”

I sighed. Damn. “Zak, I understand what you are trying to tell me, but I cannot believe you. Too many men have been too good at deceiving me in the past, and I really don’t know what to make of all the publicity about you online. You’re just gonna have to prove yourself to me.”

“What do you want to know?”

Why do you have to be so pretty? I shook my head. Dumb broad. “Nothing that I can actually ask you to tell me. It isn’t that simple, it doesn’t work that way. You’re just going to have to be real enough until I believe it.”

He was quiet on the phone for a moment.

Then I started rambling. “Not like it’s going to make a difference in the long run, anyway. I mean, it’s not like you come to Texas often. I’m sure I’m making too big of a thing out of it. I guess I’ll apologize for playing the crazy-broad card.” I forced a laugh. “So don’t worry, Hulk.”

He stayed quiet for a few more seconds, then “Desiree, don’t worry. I may be making too big of a thing out of it too, I’m sorry to stir the pot.”

My eyes snapped open. Too big of a thing? “What do you mean?”

His smirk basically crawled through the phone and danced in front of my face. “Well if I opened up on that, you still have no cause to believe anything I say, so I think it’s pretty irrelevant at this point, right?”

I giggled. “Touché.”

“But, milady, I did want to confirm that you will still be my date for Austin?”

“If you’re lucky enough,” the liquor in me added a damn flirtatious tone to my voice. Ugh.

He giggled. “Is it okay that I called you?”

“As long as you don’t ever ever drunk dial me,” I said. Dumb-shit Desiree, since you're drunk right now.

“Word. I’ll talk to you soon, Desiree.”

“Goodnight Zak.”

I put the car in gear and headed home on autopilot. What just happened?

* * * * * *

Three weeks later we met up with the guys in Austin. We decided it'd be better to get the concert done first, then play around Texas after.

Honestly, it was an opportunity for damage control. If Holly or I needed to bail because of getting hurt or anxiety taking over, we had an out.

Outside of the Austin Music Hall, Nick introduced us to his wife, Veronique, and we made small chat, mainly commenting on the crowd around us. I'm varsity at people-watching.

We worked our way through the crowds and finally found a spot to claim for the duration of the concert. Zak sat next to me and threw his arm around the back of my seat. Holly sat next to me, then Aaron. Veronique sat on the other side of Zak, then Nick.

Mute Math came on first, and we all stood up. They played some classics and some new music. I was a fan of them even from back when they were called Earthsuit.

I didn't hear any Earthsuit music, but regardless, they rocked it.

Then Incubus came on. Oh, man. Brandon Boyd is SO fine. They played quite a bit of their newer stuff, which honestly, I don't know that well. I kinda tuned out on that band after their Morning View album came out - they just got too weird and too political for me after that. However, the rest of the crew was WAY into it.

After Incubus left the stage, we all sat back down and Zak and I began an in depth conversation over the bass player. Suddenly these young, slutty-dressed girls who had worked themselves behind our seats tapped on his shoulder, begging for his attention.

"You're Zak Bagans! Ohmigod! You're famous!"

He blushed and looked over at me. I crossed my arms and smiled. This should be interesting.

They had already been cooing at him during the majority of the concert, daring him to pay attention to them over who was on stage... and even more over me. He'd been doing an expert job at avoiding interaction up until this point.

He shrugged. "Yeah, it's me."

"You're SOOOOOO Hot!"

"May I get my picture with you?"

"Can I be on your show?"

"Will you call my mom?"

"Where are you staying?"

"How long are you in town?"

"What are you doing later?"

Nick and Veronique busted out laughing as Zak held his hands up. "Slow down!"

Holly gave me a sideways look. We were thinking exactly the same thing: My "date" is interrupted from talking with me because a bunch of dumb girls want to suck his d*ck... well, more or less. I felt a twisting in my stomach and I turned towards Holly to try and distract myself from kicking all these teenyboppers asses.

Holly giggled at me. "You look like murder."

"Yep."

Aaron leaned over Holly, just now joining the conversation. "This is why we really don't go out in public that much anymore! We can't take that boy anywhere," he laughed. Then he saw my face and slammed his mouth shut for a moment. "Don't worry, dude, he's not gonna go with them to the bathroom or anything."

At this we looked up and saw Zak was gone. Ironic.

I just sat down, straight forward, ignoring the noise around me. I was right, I thought. I knew he was like this and I still walked right into it.

"Holly, remember our deal?"

She put a hand protectively on Aaron's knee. "What if I don't wanna?"

I felt two hands on my shoulders, and I felt a nose nuzzle my hair on the top of my head. Zak.

I looked up at him as he climbed back into our row and sat back down next to me. "Sorry about that."

"What happened?" I played it off as nonchalantly as possible, but in my head, this date was over.

"Damn fans. They're great and all, but some of them just don't get the word 'no.'"

I laughed, surprising myself. "Sucky-Daddy issues."

He giggled at me. "Exactly." He gave me a look that was genuine.

"So did you tell them where we were staying, or give them a phone number?"

He laughed out loud. "No ma'am. In fact..." he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dropped it in my purse.

I blinked. "What the hell was that for?"

"I'm YOUR date tonight."

"You don't think I'm one of those crazy women who get super jealous and demand to see their man's phone, do you?"

He patted my knee gently. "I wouldn't be here if I did. But I'm just saying, you're calling the shots tonight."

Okay. Maybe I can forgive him.

I let out a sigh as he put his arm back around my seat, and I leaned slightly into him. "Okay good. Those girls were so ridiculous I was afraid I would be in the tabloids for starting a bitch-fight over a celebrity."

I felt him laugh, and he used his hand to pull the side of my head towards him, pressing a kiss into my hair.

Linkin Park came on just then. We all jumped up and whooped. Holly leaned over to me and I heard her say, "Damn. You've gotta admit, he's good."