Darkness Within Light

My desk phone rang while I was wrapping up an email.

“Des, can you swing by for a moment please?” David asked.

I stared at my phone for a moment. “Yeah, sure.”

David is my boss. Not only is he a good boss and an incredibly godly, intelligent, humorous man, but he’s one of my dad’s close friends and sings lead vocals for my dad’s band. I’ve known him for years and years, and he really is more like an uncle than an employer. He’s actually the one who stuck his neck out for me to get me into this company 6 years ago, right after I moved back from west Texas.

I walked into his office and sat down. “What’s up?"

He looked up at me. “Desiree, listen, before I say anything else, I need you to know what’s going on.”

I felt a cold sweat.

“All managers have been instructed to lay off one person per department. I don’t have anyone that is expendable. Especially you. You work harder than more than half of the department and you are the best when it comes to customer relations and attention to detail. However…” I heard tears behind his voice. “You are the newbie in your department. You are single with no kids, and I can either let go someone else who is the main source of income for multiple people, or I can let you go, knowing that your family lives close by and you can be provided for. That’s what it comes down to, because believe me, the last thing I want is to lose you. You are on the fast track to supervising positions in multiple departments, you get your job and you do it very very well.”

I dropped my head. I was stunned.

“This is not an opportunistic housecleaning, Desi. It is honestly managing the people I’ve been put over in the most ethical way under dark circumstances.” He sniffled and I heard him wipe his face. “I prayed over this for weeks.”

I was numb. This company had become my life. My heart was broken but wasn’t throbbing yet. “Okay” I said as calmly as I could and stood up.

David walked around his desk and gave me a sideways hug. “I will help in any way I can with hunting for other jobs for you. I can’t do as much as I want because of all the conflict-of-interest mess, but still.”

I leaned into his hug. Uncle David. As tall as my father and as gentle. “I understand. I’ll probably be upset and pissed later, but I get why you made this decision.”

I walked back to my desk and almost in a trance began to take down my personal fluff and pack my things.

* * * * * *

“No way! You’ve worked there for six years!” Holly shrieked over the phone.

“I know.”

“So… what are you going to do?”

“I guess I will move in with my parents. David’s working with me to develop contacts to find another job.”

“I wonder if this will screw up stuff with their band.”

“I hope not… I don’t think it will.”

“Are your parents okay with that?”

“I’m sure they will be, but they can’t take Sadie. She’s too much for their dogs and that house is just two small for the two big dogs that are already there, let alone a third.” I felt a lump in my throat.

“Oh no! Desi-bear, I’ll take her!”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’d be great.”

I had been terrified all day, worrying over who would take care of my baby.

“Oh Desiree, I’m so sorry. It’ll work out, though. It’s not like God didn’t see this coming.”

“Yeah. I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later, girl.”

I hung up. True, I thought. God does not drive the ambulance that shows up after the wreck. He’s the surgeon that makes the cut.

But damn this cut was deep.

I sent Zak a text. ::I was layed off today.:: I then sat down on my couch, pulled Sadie close, and sobbed, letting all the pain and tension flow down my face.

* * * * * *

It had been two weeks since the lay-off. I hadn’t left the apartment, I hadn’t returned any calls, I hadn’t even gotten out of my bed much at all. I had woken up at 8 to go grab a bowl of cereal, and was back in bed by 8:20.

At ten am I awoke to a knocking on my door. I tried to ignore it as usual, but they persisted.

Fuck.

I dragged myself out of bed and approached the door, trying to decide how to avoid whoever’s on the other side. I looked through the peephole.

Mom, Daddy, and Holly were standing there. Holly did a finger-wave at the peephole. “Busted, lady. Let us in.”

I sighed and unlocked the door, as soon as it was open I practically fell into my father’s arms. Dammit, another wave of fresh tears. The fourth sobfest of the day.

Daddy just wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “It’s okay, Joe.” I did a mental eye-roll at him using this very inopportune time to call me by his goofy childhood nickname for me.

Holly put a hand on my shoulder “So I was talking with your folks about you moving in with them and me taking Sadie.”

“Yeah, and?”

“We’ve come up with an alternative solution, if you’re game.” Mom said, smiling. She hugged my neck and kissed my cheek.

“What is it?”

Mom smoothed my hair. “You know we have no problems with you moving in with us. But you know we can’t take Sadie. And I know how much she means to you.”

I blinked. “Okay?”

Holly grinned. “My lease is up in two weeks. Wanna be roomies?”

“In Vegas?”

Mom nodded, and Dad took a shaky breath. “We’ve talked through the whole thing, and it’s a big change, but maybe a big change is what you need. And you’ll be able to keep Sadie.”

“Leave you? Leave Texas? Leave my church? Leave my friends?”

Daddy’s face went super-hero. “Desiree I will always be a phone call away, all you need is to give me a name and I’ll jump on a plane to deliver an asskicking.” He then smiled, “But really, we can come to visit and we’ve got enough put away to fly you down here every other weekend if you want.”

Holly nudged me. “Besides, your church podcasts.”

I sighed.

* * * * * *

::Lost my number yet, Zak?::

::Hey Desi, sorry 4 the quiet spell! We’ve been really busy with the show. What happened with ur job?::

I sighed. I wished I could believe him, but I didn’t. ::Laid off.::

::Damn. What are you going to do?::

::I’m moving in with Holly in three days.::

My phone rang. “Doesn’t she live in Las Vegas??” He sounded like a child who got a puppy for Christmas.

Shit.

“Well yeah…”

”Great! Do you need help moving? We can be down there in two days.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Easy, tiger. Call my dad to coordinate that shit.”

“Will do. Text me his number.”

“Okay, later.” It was very strange to me that he was so excited. I was still in tragedy-mode.

* * * * * *

Holly and I found a badass loft apartment in a suburban area of Las Vegas, Nevada. Two bedrooms, each with their own full bathroom, an Office, a large kitchen with an island and a gas stove, a big living room with a fireplace, a half-bath, and a dining room. The loft came with a gym membership, three pools, a dog park, plus shopping for blocks all around. It was trendy, despite it’s age… the elevator was rickety but the building was clean, the water pressure sound.

Nick, Aaron, and Zak came down to Dallas to help my dad load the trucks and all four alternated driving them to Las Vegas. Holly, Mom and I took turns driving my dad’s XB behind them, loaded with perishables, breakables, and Sadie.

Looking back, I don’t know if that was a smart mix.

Fortunately, she stayed calm most of the drive and we made it without any paw prints on the windows. We stopped in a hotel in town for a night and told the guys we’d meet up with them at 9am to unload the trucks.

After breakfast, Zak and Nick unloaded the furniture and carried it up the stairs. Daddy and Aaron moved the furniture to where we needed it to go in the apartment, and Mom, Holly and I unpacked boxes. By 2pm it started to look like a home. It was a very good system.

As the day wore on, Dad and Nick became more and more like kids. They obviously got along, yelling jokes and insults at each other as the last of the furniture was unloaded.

Mom and Aaron were also getting along very well, enjoying each others sense of humor. Mom liked Zak as well but she was much more quiet around him. I could see this was making him nervous.

Ha! Revenge.

He probably thought she didn’t like him. Honestly my mom only gets that way when she’s around handsome men. They make her shy.

Damn cougar.

Regardless, everyone got along. Mom went rigid like I had when the guys told them what they do. She, like me, is very sensitive to that stuff. But unlike me, she was never dumb enough to open herself up to it.

After my parents left for the airport and we kicked the guys out that night, I got online and started job hunting. I found a position very similar to what I started doing 6 years ago at a company less than 20 minutes away from our loft.

Hmmm…

* * * * * *

Three days later I came home with a handle of Grey Goose to celebrate. “We’re in business!” I yelled into the loft.

“WHAT?!” Holly poked her head out of the office.

I held up the bottle of vodka and a small security badge. “I have a job! I start tomorrow!”

Holly screamed and laughed. “That was fast!”

I smiled. David had pulled some strings and put in a great word for me at this company. It was too small to be a major competitor, but it did have all the same certifications. They did more prototype work than production. My new manager was very impressed with me and glad that I already had all the certifications and training needed for this job.

She put the vodka in the freezer. “Fuck that. We are so going out.”

I slumped. “I don’t want to.”

She gave me a weird look, then went and turned on our Netflix. “Okay party pooper.”

I made two stiff Vodka-Sprites and squeezed a lime into them. I was still depressed from the move and just didn't feel like going out.

“Blood, explosions, or peeing on ourselves comedy?”

I plopped down next to her and offered her one of the glasses. “Explosions.”

“Guns?”

“And badass fight scenes.”

“And fast cars.”

“And lots of gleaming muscles.”

“Woman, you read my mind.” She smirked and settled back on the couch, selecting some movie.

I honestly didn’t care what we watched, I just didn’t want her worrying about me.

“What I wouldn’t give to have Michael Bay’s babies.” She took a long swill of her drink.

“Gross.”