Status: Critique greatly appreciated, nitpickers welcome! Don't be a silent reader!
The Key Chased the Blade
Luck
Simon and I clambered back into his room. At that moment, I remembered about his parents and had a mini heart-attack when I expected them to come barging in the room and killing us both. But that didn't happen. The house was silent.
Hold on. Simon slid off his ice-crusted shoes and padded out the door in his socks. I waited in silence and caught my breath. But after a while of waiting, I put Simon's shoes over the heater and took off my soaked gloves and put them by it too. I realized I'd lost my pink hat on our excursion. Oh well. Simon could live without it.
Simon returned shortly and his grey eyes were wide. They're fast asleep, he signed. I can't believe it!
Holy crap. I almost laughed out loud. Suddenly we both had big stupid grins on our faces. I can't even believe our luck.
Simon and I did a silent, double-handed high-five and did a happy dance. "Hell yeah!" I exclaimed under my breath. "How's it like living on the edge, Simon?"
Simon grinned at me. It was his stupid dorky grin. A lot less scary than I thought it would be. Then he paused before signing, I don't even know why I put up with you.
I grinned widely back at him. Because I'm awesome and you love me.
Simon chuckled. You know it, Noah. Now come on, we should get to bed in case my parents decide to wake up now.
Hold on. Simon slid off his ice-crusted shoes and padded out the door in his socks. I waited in silence and caught my breath. But after a while of waiting, I put Simon's shoes over the heater and took off my soaked gloves and put them by it too. I realized I'd lost my pink hat on our excursion. Oh well. Simon could live without it.
Simon returned shortly and his grey eyes were wide. They're fast asleep, he signed. I can't believe it!
Holy crap. I almost laughed out loud. Suddenly we both had big stupid grins on our faces. I can't even believe our luck.
Simon and I did a silent, double-handed high-five and did a happy dance. "Hell yeah!" I exclaimed under my breath. "How's it like living on the edge, Simon?"
Simon grinned at me. It was his stupid dorky grin. A lot less scary than I thought it would be. Then he paused before signing, I don't even know why I put up with you.
I grinned widely back at him. Because I'm awesome and you love me.
Simon chuckled. You know it, Noah. Now come on, we should get to bed in case my parents decide to wake up now.
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Man, I gotta thank y'all for sticking with this story. I've worked on this so hard and I've put so much effort into the symbolism and characters, geez... I mean, really, thank you. Every single sentence I've put in here, no matter how small, it ties into everything at the end. I've created outlines and outlines trying to keep everything in order, and I've cut and edited things to heck. This story I hope to publish sometime. Your comments mean a lot to me. I know I still have a lot to work on here, but thanks for your support. :)