The Key Chased the Blade

"I need to go home," I breathed.

Alex didn't say anything and let me get into the car. He drove off and I just sat in the passenger's seat with my phone on my lap and stared at my shoes. I couldn't speak. Alex didn't pressure me. The only time he asked a question was when we were on Cedar Court. "What is your house number?" he said softly.

"It's-" but I didn't get a chance to say anything. I saw red and blue flashing lights and I just swore. "Jesus Christ."

Alex parked on the side of the street and I nearly flew out of the car. But I couldn't move after that. I just looked. There were three police cars parked outside my house and police officers everywhere. I just stood in the street until Alex came around and gingerly touched my back. "Is that your house?" he whispered.

"Yeah." I felt numb. My mouth felt glued together. I saw my dad talking to one of the policemen. He was crying. I'd never seen my dad cry before.

"Do you want me to walk you over there?"

"Yeah." My legs unhinged and I staggered forward. Alex almost had to catch me. I didn't want to hang onto him, but I ended up doing it anyway; I could barely manage it to the sidewalk without him.

Rico suddenly appeared and then I was in his arms; it was like one moment to the next and I was smushed into my older brother's body and I could barely breathe. He was hot and kind of sweaty. He just rubbed my back like I was going to vanish from under his hands.

"What's going on?" I asked. My speech slurred. "Where's Logan? Where's John? Why is Dad upset?"

"Logan's at a friend's house," Rico said. It was almost like he forced himself to let go of me and look at me. The pain in his eyes just about killed me. "Dad's upset because..."

"What? Because what?"

"Be...." But he couldn't say anything. Rico took my hands and squeezed them. Then he turned his head. "And who are you?" he asked. I looked over and almost forgot Alex was still there. Alex stood with a terribly pained expression on his face.

"I'm Alexander Marvin," he said.

"You'd ought to go home."

Rico's bluntness startled me. I stared at him, but my brother wouldn't look at me. Alex didn't seem to take offense, though. He turned his hat to the side and nodded. "I understand," he said. "Noah, call me, okay? Call me or text me."

"Sure." I didn't know if I would though.

Alex rested his strong hand on my back for a brief moment before leaving. Rico said nothing about that. He didn't even act like an overprotective brother.

"There's something you need to see, but I can't show you it," Rico said quietly. "It's something you will inevitably find out."

"What?" I whispered.

Something on my older brother's face changed. But I knew then what he was going to say. Suddenly everything came rushing back and pieced itself together like the click of a machine being fixed and it crushed me. My breath whooshed out of my lungs and my legs crumpled underneath me. That iron-heavy realization crashed right through my spine and ribs and heart and shattered me.

"He's dead, isn't he?" My voice didn't sound like my own.

"Yes. He is." Rico's trembling hands tried to lift me. He couldn't manage it. "Do you want me to take you to him?"

I didn't want to see him. But I said, "Yes."

"Okay. Let's go."