Status: Critique greatly appreciated, nitpickers welcome! Don't be a silent reader!
The Key Chased the Blade
Drawing
After I saw John I couldn't move for five days.
He was hanged from the rusty swing-set at the park. His face was colorless and his eyes wide and staring. He was wearing Rico's old ACDC T-shirt. His blue backpack was gone. But shoved in the pocket of his jacket was the pink hat Simon let me borrow that one night. Inside the hat was a scrawled note that read:
I want my key back.
Dad took Logan, Rico, and I to our grandparents' house who lived out of town at the countryside. I didn't know about the legal matters, but I did know there had to be a funeral, and I knew we had to be safe. I didn't have many problems with the latter. I stayed in bed and didn't leave it until the day of the funeral.
I called Alex like I said I would, but I couldn't talk to him. Alex said "hello, are you doing okay?" but after I didn't say anything, he just waited. It was about 1:00 AM. I laid at my grandparents' spare bed with the phone by my face until it died. Alex didn't hang up the entire time. I knew he was still there because I heard him shuffle around occasionally.
At 3:46 AM my phone ran out of battery.
I fell asleep sometime after that, but woke up at 6:54 AM. It smelled like old people, so I knew I was still at my grandparents', and I wanted to put my phone on my charger, but I didn't have it with me, so I just went back to sleep. I woke up sometime in the morning, but I didn't check the time and just went to the bathroom. After that I laid in bed and stared at the wall.
Rico came and bothered me. "Noah, Simon sent you some flowers and a drawing."
I didn't answer.
"I'll just put them on the nightstand." Then I heard a rustle and Rico left.
I didn't look at the flowers until they wilted. They were white roses and his drawing was of me. He'd finished it. It was almost like looking in a mirror it was so realistic. He'd must have spent a long time on it.
I left it on the night stand with the flowers until the roses greyed, withered, and eventually turned black. Then I ripped up the drawing and put the pieces in a pile under my pillow. That was the day I had to get up. Rico came and got me.
He didn't say a word. I just got dressed in all black and left with him to go to my brother's funeral.
He was hanged from the rusty swing-set at the park. His face was colorless and his eyes wide and staring. He was wearing Rico's old ACDC T-shirt. His blue backpack was gone. But shoved in the pocket of his jacket was the pink hat Simon let me borrow that one night. Inside the hat was a scrawled note that read:
I want my key back.
Dad took Logan, Rico, and I to our grandparents' house who lived out of town at the countryside. I didn't know about the legal matters, but I did know there had to be a funeral, and I knew we had to be safe. I didn't have many problems with the latter. I stayed in bed and didn't leave it until the day of the funeral.
I called Alex like I said I would, but I couldn't talk to him. Alex said "hello, are you doing okay?" but after I didn't say anything, he just waited. It was about 1:00 AM. I laid at my grandparents' spare bed with the phone by my face until it died. Alex didn't hang up the entire time. I knew he was still there because I heard him shuffle around occasionally.
At 3:46 AM my phone ran out of battery.
I fell asleep sometime after that, but woke up at 6:54 AM. It smelled like old people, so I knew I was still at my grandparents', and I wanted to put my phone on my charger, but I didn't have it with me, so I just went back to sleep. I woke up sometime in the morning, but I didn't check the time and just went to the bathroom. After that I laid in bed and stared at the wall.
Rico came and bothered me. "Noah, Simon sent you some flowers and a drawing."
I didn't answer.
"I'll just put them on the nightstand." Then I heard a rustle and Rico left.
I didn't look at the flowers until they wilted. They were white roses and his drawing was of me. He'd finished it. It was almost like looking in a mirror it was so realistic. He'd must have spent a long time on it.
I left it on the night stand with the flowers until the roses greyed, withered, and eventually turned black. Then I ripped up the drawing and put the pieces in a pile under my pillow. That was the day I had to get up. Rico came and got me.
He didn't say a word. I just got dressed in all black and left with him to go to my brother's funeral.
♠ ♠ ♠
S-s-symbolism!I got stuck at this part when I was writing it. Luckily I got out of the blurb and moved on. I lumped a lot of chapters together and cut out parts after going through and editing all of this. I'll have to look over it again to make sure its doing alright once I have time. For now I'm blindly posting things and that makes me uncomfortable.