Scars

I smiled. “I can’t wait to see a full show when I actually accept the fact that you’re in a band. I didn’t accept it last show and now I do. So I’m excited.”

Everyone shuffled to his or her own bunks and to different parts of the bus. I assumed they just wanted to leave us alone for a little bit. Zach took this moment to be sincere and honest.

“Melexa?” He said.

“Yeah, Zach.”

He rubbed my arm. “Are you really okay with this?”

I looked down and gently shook my head. “No, I’m not.” Quickly, I looked up at him. “At least not yet. I will.” I assured him. Although I wasn’t sure if I really could handle all of this at once. It was a crazy life and I didn’t know if I was cut out for it.

He nodded. “I want you to know that this kind of stuff doesn’t happen with us. But it did because of this murder. If that changes how you feel at all. I also am not letting you stand in the crowd, unless you want to. But backstage is a little more comfortable.” Zach explained.

He really wanted me to be happy with his life and I wanted to be too, but it was hard. I let out a breath. “Zach, I know that you want me to be happy with your life, and believe me, I do. I want to be happy with you. I really do. And this is your life.” I said, looking around the bus. “This is your life and I want to accept it, but I swore I would never date another guy in a band again.” I licked my lips and pulled out of Zach’s grip. I grasped his hand and met his gaze. “Zach, there’s something about you that I love and don’t want to live without. I don’t want to find the next best guy. I would rather figure out this lifestyle and live with it. But I would do it with you.” My voice trailed of. “I’m just a little afraid that this could be exactly what happened between me and Colin.”

Zach cut me off. “It won’t be. I promise. I’m really in love with you.” He said, squeezing my hand. “But if we weren’t meant to be together, I wouldn’t try to hurt you in any way. I wouldn’t be able to. But I think we’re mean to be together.” He said.

And I believed every word he said. “Colin was a bassist. He kept looking at me and winking at me. At first I thought it was just because he was on stage, but he stared at me throughout their whole set. After the show, he found me and held me tight as he talked to other fans. Colin was done with tour for a few days. We hung out, got close, and claimed to be in love. I thought that he really meant it.” I said, looking down. I hated telling this story. “But like every band, they went back on the road. He told me to see them in their next show. So I did. I went with them to the next show and did the whole backstage, sound check, best girlfriend ever thing. After the show, I went outside to meet Colin and give him a kiss, but he was standing there, just how he was a few nights ago, with his arm wrapped around another girl’s waist. I just didn’t want to have to deal with that again. He went from girl, to girl, to girl, every night because he could. He could do that. No matter how many girls he hurt, there would still be one that wanted him!”

Zach pulled me close to him. “I’m not doing that to you. The only time you’ll see me with my arm wrapped around another girl is when we’re taking pictures with fans, but I will always come back to you, no matter what!”

“How do I know that the whole Colin thing won’t happen again?” I asked Zach, trying not to cry.

He shrugged. “You don’t know. You just have to trust me that I won’t leave you for another girl every night. I can’t do that. I’ll hug other girls and have my arm around them, but just for pictures. I won’t leave you, ever. But there’s not for sure that it won’t happen. No way of telling. Just trusting me when I say that it won’t.”

I wrapped my arms around Zach. “I believe you.” I mumbled. “I really do.”

He rubbed my back and kissed my cheek. “I’m glad.” He whispered.

“I really trust you, but I’m still scared. Those memories still linger and I don’t want to relive them.” I explained. And I didn’t. I had gone through it once and I just didn’t feel the need to go through it again. I trusted him, but I still hadn’t known him that long. I just hoped that this whole murder would blow over soon and Zach’s name would be cleared.

He grabbed my hands. “How about we go on our first date tonight?” Zach asked me. “We’ll set up a table in our hotel and have dinner.”

I let out a small laugh and hugged him tight. “I love how you’re trying to make the best of this. You still love me through all of this hell.”

“I’d be a terrible boyfriend if I didn’t still love you through this.” He said.

He just implied that we were dating! I wanted to scream, but I knew that I couldn’t. I really wanted to be with Zach and I really trusted him. I was beyond excited that he called me his girlfriend.

“I want to get through this. I want to be okay with this. I want to be with you.” I blurted out.

Zach pulled me close. “Me too. I want to be with you and I want us to be happy. We just have to get over this minor bump in the road and then we’ll be able to enjoy ourselves.”

I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. “I love you, Zach.”

He kissed my forehead. “I love you, too, Melexa.”

I started to drift off to sleep when Zach jumped up. I reached for his hand. “Are you okay, Zach?”

He nodded rapidly. “Yeah, uh, I just have to, uh, go to the bathroom.” He said uneasily.
I sat up and looked at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He replied and hastily walked off.

I wasn’t sure what to do, but I decided to just sit there. Michael walked back in.

He looked at me. “What’s up with Zach?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea.”