Status: Should be three chapters long, will be finished soon!
The Sea's Grasp
3.
After the night grew old, darkening the parking lot outside her window, Nadina climbed from the uncomfortable hospital bed. Every step caused her face to cave in with pain; her feet left trickles of blood on the floor. Finally, using an absurd amount of effort, Nadina opened the window, her fingers numb with cold.
When she blinked, she suddenly found herself in a completely different room, staring at the occupied bed. There was a boy sleeping soundly in it, maybe a year or two older than her. He snuffled and rolled over and her heart swelled. When she looked down, though, she saw her hand clutching the silver dagger and knew exactly who he was.
This boy was alive for her to kill.
His eyes fluttered open and stared straight at her, the blanket pulled to his chin, dark hair tangled in a wild mess. He did not look surprised. In fact, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and allowed a dark smile to spread over his face like the pain burning through her veins. “Come to plunge it in my heart?” he asked with a thick, sleepy voice. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you since the beginning.” He seemed so confident; it shocked Nadina, even slightly angered her. Did he think she was not capable of hurting him?
She flexed her fingers around the cold handle. Was she capable of murder, of stealing another’s life?
Trying not to think, she grabbed his hand and felt shivers crawl up her spine. His skin was rough with callouses on his palm. Swallowing a strangely familiar feeling, she determinedly closed her eyes. This time, she knew she was dissolving into air; she could feel her flesh disintegrating, though it did not hurt.
Good luck, someone or something whispered intimately in her ear before she reformed into a girl. She thought maybe it was one – or all – of her sisters. She hoped.
Beside her stood the boy whose eyes were now wide and shocked. The sea grumbled and splashed against the rocky cliff. Here, she was almost home. The sense of belonging was salty at the tip of her tongue.
The sun was rising up over the horizon, blindingly beautiful, ready to witness the hardest choice Nadina would have to make. She breathed in a gulp of sea air. Behind her, her childhood home loomed.
She turned to the boy who had a small smile tugging on his lips. Her heart beat a frantic rhythm in her chest, bruising her ribcage and deafening her ears. He glanced at her and said over the wind, “Do it. I know it’s what you need to do. I will not love you like you want me to and so, you deserve to go home.” His eyes softened even as his mouth twisted up in a grimace. “I doubt you’ll be able to, though. You never have before. But if you do: I understand why.”
She was silent, her throat empty. Oh, how she wanted her voice back! The pain in her feet was bearable – she could handle physical agony more easily than most – but to not be able to sing or speak or scream left her breathless, like she’d been punched in the stomach a few too many times.
Her feet were still bleeding, and so, with no other means, she used the blood to communicate with him. After running her finger along her ragged sole, she drew words on her pale arm. Why, she wrote first, hastily showing it to him before it blurred and became illegible.
He frowned as she wiped the word away and started another one. Your. And after that: blood.
“Why my blood?” he voiced as his confusion melted away. “Because I’m the reason you became human. In order to reverse it, you have to show you don’t want it anymore – by destroying it permanently.”
It was her turn to frown. That wasn’t the only reason she wanted legs, she remembered. As much as she loved him, she also longed for an immortal soul. Mermaids lived for around three hundred years but then gave their souls to the sea and were no more. Human souls, however, were immortal and lived forever in one way or another.
If she followed the boy’s reasoning, should she not be able to go home by killing herself? That would be permanently destroying her immortal soul. But then, if she threw herself to the sea, she would be murdered…and if she died on land, she’d die a human.
With only one way for it to work, she began making wild hand gestures to the boy, in the hopes that he would understand. Her hands swung in the exaggerated motion of throwing her body from the cliff, but his face remained blank.
Eventually, he grasped what she was thinking after she acted out the entire scenario. When he recited what she wanted to happen accurately, her face split itself in a radiant smile and her head bobbed in enthusiastic nods.
Her smile faded when she fully considered what she had to do. The dagger trembled as she raised it to just under her breast, poised in the space between two rib bones. Her eyes were wide with fear.
The boy placed his hand over hers on the handle. With soft eyes, he whispered, “I’ll help you if you need it.” She nodded, gratitude warming the very blood in her veins, the same blood that would soon be cascading in great rivers down her frail body.
Slowly, she leant up and lightly kissed his lips, tasting salt and pleasure and her first love. When she pulled away, his face was stunned.
Struggling in a jagged breath, she plunged the dagger through her heart.
The pain had her crumpling like paper in frustrated hands. Her chest was being ripped open by a monster with wicked teeth; her skin was scratched away, her ribs bent back and her heart pierced with a talon. A scream buried itself in her sandpaper throat. Everything in her vision was cut into ribbons with streaks of red and blue and white. Until it faded away and all she could hear was a body drawing in its last breath.
He waited until her eyes flickered closed, just like she wanted. By then, her body had stopped trembling, her face that of a waxen doll. The blood was everywhere he looked, darkly red, the scent mingling in the sea air.
When her eyes closed, he lifted her broken body into his arms. It was hard to believe that just before, she’d been so lively; his lips still tasted like her.
He squeezed her to him once and then threw her out into the sea’s grasping hands.
With a blink, he found himself at home, no longer cold or shivering. If his hands weren’t covered in her blood, he might have thought it all had just been a dream.
The sea-witch watched the girl sink, the blood blooming around her like the opening of a flower with her at its centre. A cackle tore free from her lips as she swiped her seaweed hair from her eyes and crept forward on tentacle legs to watch the transformation.
Someone was calling her name.
It had to be her mother, she thought dimly. But it wasn’t ‘Nadina’ she was calling. And yet she was sure it was her name.
How strange, she thought.
Her limbs were spread around her and she felt almost like she was falling in slow motion. Sinking in dense hair.
Sister, sister! she heard from far away. Cold hands prodded her.
When she opened her eyes, all she could see was red.
And then – someone was binding her legs together. Her feet were growing large and thin. The skin on her bottom half was flaking away until –
She blinked. She did not have legs, after all. She had a magnificent tail, scales with a pearlescent glow layering over to end in a beautiful fin.
When she took her first breath, her lungs drew in water like it was something they were created to do.
Ignoring the other mermaids around her, the sea-witch approached the girl without anger in her stone heart. She balked to see the healing scar beneath the mermaid’s left breast, but knew what it meant. Somehow, the girl had found the only loophole, the third option in the choice.
Dismissing it, she murmured an incantation in her head and opened the secret pouch in her throat. From it, she drew the glass vial, swirling with a silver substance.
“Drink it and you shall sing again,” she ordered softly, handing over the vial. “Your debt has been paid over these past centuries. In your own blood, you have defeated me. We shall not meet again.”
And she turned away from the little mermaid, her back to their entangled past.
Sister! All five of her sister swam around her in excitement, their shorn hair just beginning to grow back. Her grandmother was also there, standing behind, an ancient smile on her face, relieved to see her granddaughter before the death that would soon be coming for her.
Delighted, the little mermaid waved her tail and sung at the top of her lungs in sheer joy. The entire ocean paused to listen to a beauty that hadn’t been heard in a long, long time.
When she blinked, she suddenly found herself in a completely different room, staring at the occupied bed. There was a boy sleeping soundly in it, maybe a year or two older than her. He snuffled and rolled over and her heart swelled. When she looked down, though, she saw her hand clutching the silver dagger and knew exactly who he was.
This boy was alive for her to kill.
His eyes fluttered open and stared straight at her, the blanket pulled to his chin, dark hair tangled in a wild mess. He did not look surprised. In fact, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and allowed a dark smile to spread over his face like the pain burning through her veins. “Come to plunge it in my heart?” he asked with a thick, sleepy voice. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you since the beginning.” He seemed so confident; it shocked Nadina, even slightly angered her. Did he think she was not capable of hurting him?
She flexed her fingers around the cold handle. Was she capable of murder, of stealing another’s life?
Trying not to think, she grabbed his hand and felt shivers crawl up her spine. His skin was rough with callouses on his palm. Swallowing a strangely familiar feeling, she determinedly closed her eyes. This time, she knew she was dissolving into air; she could feel her flesh disintegrating, though it did not hurt.
Good luck, someone or something whispered intimately in her ear before she reformed into a girl. She thought maybe it was one – or all – of her sisters. She hoped.
Beside her stood the boy whose eyes were now wide and shocked. The sea grumbled and splashed against the rocky cliff. Here, she was almost home. The sense of belonging was salty at the tip of her tongue.
The sun was rising up over the horizon, blindingly beautiful, ready to witness the hardest choice Nadina would have to make. She breathed in a gulp of sea air. Behind her, her childhood home loomed.
She turned to the boy who had a small smile tugging on his lips. Her heart beat a frantic rhythm in her chest, bruising her ribcage and deafening her ears. He glanced at her and said over the wind, “Do it. I know it’s what you need to do. I will not love you like you want me to and so, you deserve to go home.” His eyes softened even as his mouth twisted up in a grimace. “I doubt you’ll be able to, though. You never have before. But if you do: I understand why.”
She was silent, her throat empty. Oh, how she wanted her voice back! The pain in her feet was bearable – she could handle physical agony more easily than most – but to not be able to sing or speak or scream left her breathless, like she’d been punched in the stomach a few too many times.
Her feet were still bleeding, and so, with no other means, she used the blood to communicate with him. After running her finger along her ragged sole, she drew words on her pale arm. Why, she wrote first, hastily showing it to him before it blurred and became illegible.
He frowned as she wiped the word away and started another one. Your. And after that: blood.
“Why my blood?” he voiced as his confusion melted away. “Because I’m the reason you became human. In order to reverse it, you have to show you don’t want it anymore – by destroying it permanently.”
It was her turn to frown. That wasn’t the only reason she wanted legs, she remembered. As much as she loved him, she also longed for an immortal soul. Mermaids lived for around three hundred years but then gave their souls to the sea and were no more. Human souls, however, were immortal and lived forever in one way or another.
If she followed the boy’s reasoning, should she not be able to go home by killing herself? That would be permanently destroying her immortal soul. But then, if she threw herself to the sea, she would be murdered…and if she died on land, she’d die a human.
With only one way for it to work, she began making wild hand gestures to the boy, in the hopes that he would understand. Her hands swung in the exaggerated motion of throwing her body from the cliff, but his face remained blank.
Eventually, he grasped what she was thinking after she acted out the entire scenario. When he recited what she wanted to happen accurately, her face split itself in a radiant smile and her head bobbed in enthusiastic nods.
Her smile faded when she fully considered what she had to do. The dagger trembled as she raised it to just under her breast, poised in the space between two rib bones. Her eyes were wide with fear.
The boy placed his hand over hers on the handle. With soft eyes, he whispered, “I’ll help you if you need it.” She nodded, gratitude warming the very blood in her veins, the same blood that would soon be cascading in great rivers down her frail body.
Slowly, she leant up and lightly kissed his lips, tasting salt and pleasure and her first love. When she pulled away, his face was stunned.
Struggling in a jagged breath, she plunged the dagger through her heart.
The pain had her crumpling like paper in frustrated hands. Her chest was being ripped open by a monster with wicked teeth; her skin was scratched away, her ribs bent back and her heart pierced with a talon. A scream buried itself in her sandpaper throat. Everything in her vision was cut into ribbons with streaks of red and blue and white. Until it faded away and all she could hear was a body drawing in its last breath.
He waited until her eyes flickered closed, just like she wanted. By then, her body had stopped trembling, her face that of a waxen doll. The blood was everywhere he looked, darkly red, the scent mingling in the sea air.
When her eyes closed, he lifted her broken body into his arms. It was hard to believe that just before, she’d been so lively; his lips still tasted like her.
He squeezed her to him once and then threw her out into the sea’s grasping hands.
With a blink, he found himself at home, no longer cold or shivering. If his hands weren’t covered in her blood, he might have thought it all had just been a dream.
The sea-witch watched the girl sink, the blood blooming around her like the opening of a flower with her at its centre. A cackle tore free from her lips as she swiped her seaweed hair from her eyes and crept forward on tentacle legs to watch the transformation.
Someone was calling her name.
It had to be her mother, she thought dimly. But it wasn’t ‘Nadina’ she was calling. And yet she was sure it was her name.
How strange, she thought.
Her limbs were spread around her and she felt almost like she was falling in slow motion. Sinking in dense hair.
Sister, sister! she heard from far away. Cold hands prodded her.
When she opened her eyes, all she could see was red.
And then – someone was binding her legs together. Her feet were growing large and thin. The skin on her bottom half was flaking away until –
She blinked. She did not have legs, after all. She had a magnificent tail, scales with a pearlescent glow layering over to end in a beautiful fin.
When she took her first breath, her lungs drew in water like it was something they were created to do.
Ignoring the other mermaids around her, the sea-witch approached the girl without anger in her stone heart. She balked to see the healing scar beneath the mermaid’s left breast, but knew what it meant. Somehow, the girl had found the only loophole, the third option in the choice.
Dismissing it, she murmured an incantation in her head and opened the secret pouch in her throat. From it, she drew the glass vial, swirling with a silver substance.
“Drink it and you shall sing again,” she ordered softly, handing over the vial. “Your debt has been paid over these past centuries. In your own blood, you have defeated me. We shall not meet again.”
And she turned away from the little mermaid, her back to their entangled past.
Sister! All five of her sister swam around her in excitement, their shorn hair just beginning to grow back. Her grandmother was also there, standing behind, an ancient smile on her face, relieved to see her granddaughter before the death that would soon be coming for her.
Delighted, the little mermaid waved her tail and sung at the top of her lungs in sheer joy. The entire ocean paused to listen to a beauty that hadn’t been heard in a long, long time.