Z

My gun was pointed chest level at the man in front of me. He was dressed in a navy t-shirt and dark camouflaged pants that were tucked into his combat boots. He looked like he was trying to be military.

“I don’t want any trouble.” He pleaded, raising his hands high in surrender. “There are enough supplies for the both of us here.”

I raised an eyebrow but kept my gun right where it was. He was started to sweat across his brow and I could see his fingers start to twitch.

“Is that so?” I asked, looking him up and down once more. “I already scoped out the place.”

“Aaron, hurry up! There are walkers moving in on us,” a deep and panicked voice called from the back of the store. “Just take what you have and let’s go!”

Aaron nervously called back, “Alright, coming,”

“This is what is going to happen,” I started confidentially. “Since there are walkers around, I’m not going to shoot you.” I watched him relax. “Don’t think I don’t know other ways to kill you; if I have to, I will.”

“You can have this place,”

“I know I can,” I glared at him. “I’m going to lower my gun, don’t do anything stupid.”

I started to lower my gun as promised when a shot was fired from outside the store. I cursed; I no longer was in control of this situation, but luckily Aaron seemed more concerned with the gunshot than he did with me. I knew that every walker in the mile radius of this store heard the bang and were now on their way to us.

“Shit!” Aaron cursed, running to the back door to see why his partner had shot his weapon. I ran behind him.

A man was lying on the ground outside being eaten on, his gun lying a few feet away from him. I figured that he dropped the gun and it went off on impact. In the distance, I saw zombies grouping together as they stumbled closer.

We pushed and shoved each other on our way back inside, locking the door behind us. I watched as dozens of walkers formed on each side of the store, banging against the giant glass windows, edger to taste our flesh.

I started to quickly pick up things that were in my reach and shove them into my bag. The glass was starting to shake under the pressure of being repeatedly banged upon. I knew it was up to me to do something soon, or we were both going to end up dead. Aaron stood there shaking in his boots, looking on the verge of crying.

I remembered seeing an emergency ladder in one of the back rooms of the store; I figured it lead to the roof. The store was sandwiched between two other buildings and I realized my only way out of here was to jump across. The store was a good two stories high and the jump from the roof could be fatal if not successful. I cursed myself for having a fear of heights.

I started looking around for something to distract the zombies with, long enough for me to escape and jump without their attention but I couldn’t find anything they would want more than me.

“What are we going to do?”

I tried to focus but the pounding seemed to get louder. I knew the glass was about to break. I looked over at Aaron, “Stay here,”

I ran for the back room, leaving Aaron standing in the middle of the store puzzled. With my hand on the handle, I turned back to look at him, a pang of sadness stabbed through my chest. I pulled out my gun and quickly fired a round into the glass, breaking it into a million tiny pieces allowing access for the walkers. Aaron turned to look at me, terror filled his eyes. He started to run towards me, but I knew that we both couldn’t make it out of here alive. I pulled the trigger one last time, sending the bullet into his leg. He fell to the ground in agony – the zombies circled around him before he could scream for help. I walked into the room and locked the door behind me.

I leaned against the door and tried to steady my breathing.

From the rooftop, I watched all the zombies fill into the store to devour Aaron. I felt bad for the kid, but it was kill or be killed now and I’d do anything I had to do to survive. Sometimes I wondered why I even bothered anymore, but then the moment of weakness passed.

I stood on the edge of the roof, staring down at the road below me; it seemed so far away from me now. I looked across the building to see a fire escape and I knew I had to jump. I took a couple more deep breaths to calm my racing heart before making sure my bag and weapons were secure.

“1…2…” I took a running start and jumped. I closed my eyes and held my breath – I didn’t want to see my death if I didn’t make it. I landed loudly on my feet before I rolled onto my back and when I opened my eyes again I was lying on the fire escape. I sighed in relief. I stood up and once I put weight on my left foot, I grimaced. I managed the best I could, limping my way down the stairs and to the ground before I broke out into an unsteady run towards the woods.

I got to my car without any trouble. I left my car in the woods so that I wouldn’t draw attention to myself in the city, but that plan backfired and almost cost me my life. Once I was safely in my car, I held onto the steering wheel tightly; trying to keep my thoughts from drifting back to what happened. I knew that the terrified look in his eyes once he realized what I was going to do would haunt me in my sleep tonight; if I got any sleep at all.

It dawned on me that I killed a person to save myself. It scared me that the world had come to this. I use to be a mother and a wife that worked two jobs so that my son could eat. I came home to a family – my husband who had been my best friend and soul mate and my pride a joy; my baby boy – every night. Now I live out of my car, scavenging stores and homes for necessities so that I could live when everyone else I knew had died a year ago. The only thing keeping me from giving up is a promise I made to my husband, a promise that is growing harder and harder to keep. A promise to get through this and find a new life without walkers.

The more I push through this, the more I lose sight of who I use to be. But maybe that isn’t all bad; maybe losing sight of the kindhearted naïve girl I use to be will help me be the survivor I am now.