Z

The farm was nearly silent the night Shane opened the barn. Lori and taken Carol into the house to stay with her for the night, Rick and Carl had followed along. Dale had retired to the camper, Andrea following close behind him to sleep on the pull out couch. Beth had gone to be with Shane for the night and I understood her need to be with him, but this left me alone. I hadn't known Sophia, I'd never seen her alive, but the image of that little girl stumbling out of the barn, covered in dirt and her blood, was etched in my mind.

I tossed and turned in the tent, but I couldn't shake the day's events from my thoughts. I could see a fire glowing through the material of the tent. I coaxed myself out of my cot and pulled on my boots, ready to see who was sitting out by the fire. I emerged from the tent to see the fireside empty, but under the tree, next to the R.V. sat Daryl on a log. He had his back to me, facing the woods, his shoulders were slumped in what seemed like defeat. I approached him quietly, not wanting to spook him and get myself an arrow.

"Hey," I spoke softly, "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"No." Daryl glanced back towards the fire.

I settled down on the log beside him, searching for something to say, "It's cold tonight."

He glanced over at me for a second before turning his attention back to the woods, "Winter's comin'."

"Yeah," I say quietly, looking at him then following his gaze to the woods, "You did the best you could, Daryl."

"What d'you know, huh?" He asked looking at me with narrowed eyes, "I don't need no sympathy from you." His shoulders sank as he focused on the ground.

"I know you wanted her to be found," I said, not looking at him, "And I know you're sad that she didn't make it. I wasn't giving you sympathy, I'm just letting you know, it's not your fault."

"I coulda tried harder," his voice cracked, and he let his head rest in his hands. "I coulda done more, went further, stayed out longer."

I placed a tentative hand on his back, between his shoulder blades, "You were out there every minute you could be." He cleared his throat and picked his head up and looked over at me. I let my hand fall from his back.

"She didn't deserve that," He said, I could see his eyes had teared up, "To die all alone, scared, without her momma," He wiped angrily at his eyes, "I wanted to bring her back, even if she was bit, so she could have her." We sat there in silence for what felt like half an hour before he spoke again, "They're talkin' about havin' a funeral for her tomorrow." I just listened as he started speaking about how abusive Carol's husband - Ed - had been and how he'd abused Sophia as well, how Daryl wished Shane would have killed Ed the time when he beat his ass, "He was a Sonuvabitch, got his ass chomped on, though."

Daryl told me about where he'd been since the world had changed. He explained that he and his brother - Merle - had left their home in the country, seeking the refuge promised by the government in Atlanta. When the brothers arrived they found a war zone in the streets and fought their way back to the country, where they ran into Dale and the rest of the group. He told me about Merle and a few of the others heading into the city for supplies when Rick showed up. Merle had started some shit and ended up handcuffed to the roof of a department store while the rest of the group escaped and returned to camp. Daryl's face grew darker as he went on, telling me how he, Rick, T and Glenn had gone back to Atlanta to get Merle. When they got there all they found of him was his hand.

"Ain't seen 'im since," Daryl said, "He prolly got his ass ate, bleeding like a stuck pig. Merle was tough as hell, I know he didn't go down without a fight." The fire behind us was dying as the sun peaked over the treetops, igniting the sky in shades of pink and orange. Silence settled over us for a few moments before I spoke.

"I'm going to turn in," I said, Daryl gave me a nod, "Goodnight." I leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek, but he turned to look at me right in that moment, putting us nose to nose. I blinked and pulled back, "S-sorry." Embarrassment settled over me like a veil. I stood, awkwardly and started towards my tent.

"Rose," Daryl's voice was hushed, but loud enough to make me turn around. He purposefully crossed the few yards from the fire pit to where I stood outside my tent.

"I-" I opened my mouth to apologize again. Before I could get the words out, Daryl cupped my cheek with a rough hand and leaned down to press his lips against mine.

"G'night," He murmured as he pulled away with a sincere look. I watched as he turned and headed back towards his tent, a small smile blossoming on my lips.



The zipper of the tent door being undone awoke me, I sat up and rubbed my eyes to see Beth coming in. She popped her head around the room divider and gave me a wave.

"Hey," I said, my head still foggy with sleep, "What's up?"

"Nothing," She said, gathering up some clothes, "I was gonna let you sleep a few more minutes."

"Thanks," I said with a smirk. She placed her clothes in a wash basket, followed by her pillow and her backpack, "Leaving me?" Bee gave me a sheepish look with a nod, "I knew you would."

"You mad?" She asked.

"No, silly," I said, "I knew if you and Shane went anywhere, this would happen. I'm happy for you," I put my hair up in a bun and tried to get my words in line before speaking, "Daryl and I, erm, kissed."

"You what?" She asked, her eyes widening, "And you're telling me now?"

"It just happened a few hours ago," I said, my cheek growing red, "Plus you were sleeping."

"So? That was worthy of waking me up, " She smiled widely, obviously excited by my news, "Did you like it? How was it? Are y'all an item?"

I laughed, "Yes, of course I liked it. It was really simple and sweet, nothing crazy. We're not an item. I just got to bed when the sun was coming up. We were talking all night."

"Talked all night? Are you sure this is the same Daryl we're talking about?" She joked with a chuckle, "On a serious note, I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," I grinned, sticking my tongue out. Beth went on collecting her things and eventually I got dressed and helped her carry her things to Shane's tent.



Carol had insisted on not having a funeral for her daughter despite Rick and Lori's suggestion that it would help the group to deal with their grief. I couldn't blame her, despite whatever feelings she had towards me, I felt genuine heartache for her.

For the first time in a long while, we did not eat dinner together as a group. Beth and Shane were in their tent and everyone was very distant and separated. I grabbed one of the MREs from the camper and some beef jerky before heading towards the well to pump some water. I added the required amount of water to the meal claiming to be 'chicken teriyaki' and the heating element and waited. I plopped down next to the fire pit and set up the wood accordingly before starting a fire. The sun was slowly setting on the solemn day.

Once my meal was finished heating up, I picked at it. It wasn't horrible, but the meals that we made in the kitchen were much better. At least I wouldn't go to bed hungry. I looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching me to see Daryl. He was carrying something I couldn't make out.

"Hey," he said quietly, taking the spot beside me on the log. He held something wrapped in tinfoil and a bottle of barbeque sauce.

"Hi," I said, trying not to be awkward after the previous night's events, "Whatcha got?"

"Squirrel," He said, tossing the tinfoil wrapped meat into the fire, "Makin' some dinner. What you havin'?"

"MRE and some beef jerky," I said, holding the MRE out to him, "Want a bite?" Daryl looked from me, back to the food and picked up the fork. He took a bite.

"I like my squirrel better," He smirked, I took the meal back from him as he moved the tinfoil around the fire. I took a couple of bites as Daryl spoke again, "I flapped my jaw a lot last night," He started, "So tonight it's your turn." I looked over at him and gave him a small smile.

"I don't have nothin' interesting to say," I said as he pulled his squirrel out of the fire to check on it.

"What were ya doin' before this?" he asked simply, rewrapping the meat and dropping it back in the flames.

I sighed at the thought of the past.

"I was a paralegal. I did paperwork and got people their coffee and I had a nice apartment. I'd just broken up with my fiancée a few weeks before," I paused, "before everything changed."

"Why you leave 'im?"

"That's complicated," I said, looking up at the sky, "I just, ah, started feeling trapped. We'd been together almost five years and I woke up one day and it hit me. I didn't love him anymore and having him around had just become a comfort thing."

Daryl nodded, "How'd he take it?"

"Rough," I said, watching him pull the squirrel out again and this time it was done to his satisfaction, "He was mad, you know, hurt. I don't - didn't - blame him."

"You think he made it out of Atlanta?"

"Who knows," I said, ready to change the subject. I let the conversation drop as Daryl picked off a piece of meat and ate it.

"Want some?" He held it out to me and I scrunched my nose up, "C'mon, girl, s'good." Reluctantly I pulled a small piece off of the squirrel and put it in my mouth.

"Oh my god, that's disgusting," I said, quickly shoveling in a bite of my MRE. Daryl laughed and opened up the barbeque sauce, "That is not going to help," I said as he added it to the squirrel.



At the end of the night, Daryl walked me to my tent. We stood, saying goodnight to each other like teenagers on a first date and again he bent down and pressed his lips against mine, but this time, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. I didn't want to let him go.