Breaking Free

I busy myself around the house, trying to get used to calling it home. I'm so glad that Jackson talked to me that first day, without him, I would still be stuck with my father.
I still don't know why he raged out the other day and why the house was amiss, I think it was part to do with the anniversary of my mother's death.
That's the only thing that can come to my mind.
My mother has been gone for eight years now.
One day, on the way home from work, she was hit by a drunk driver that killed her just a mile away from our home. Ever since that day, I've felt a void in my life and can't get over the fact that I lost her so young.
I thought that I would get used to living without her since my father was supposed to take care of me, but on this day, every year I feel a little more void.
I want to let her death go and move on, but it doesn't work that way when you lose a family member. Losing someone you love, especially a parent is hard.
Growing up without her has been hard and I'm glad to say that I have Debra as a part of my life because so far, in the last week that I've been in their home, she has shown me more love and attention than my father ever thought to.
For years I wished that I could have someone like Debra in my life and now, here she is, I'm terrified to lose her like I have my own mother.
"School time!" Debra's voice rings from downstairs.
I gather my books and my shoes and head downstairs. One thing I've learned from living with the Maddox's is that breakfast really is the most important meal of the day. This is the time of the day when we sit together and discuss the things that are going to happen throughout the day.
Today, Debra has a big announcement.
"Guess what?" she says excitedly, her blue eyes shining.
"What?" Devon and Charlie ask as excitedly.
Debra smiles at me and says, "It's official, you're in our home permanently!"
"Really?" I ask almost knocking over the orange juice in front of me.
"Really!" she exclaims once more.
"That's great!" I say standing up and walking to Debra's side of the table and wrapping her in a giant hug.
"I'm so glad we've been able to help you, honey."
The love I feel from her words is overwhelming and I feel tears start to roll down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry for crying, I'm just so happy," I sniff back a new set of tears that are about to make their appearance.
"This is cause for celebration," Mr. Maddox, Jack, says. "We'll be going out to dinner to celebrate."
"But before that! As soon as you get home from school, Lina, we'll be going shopping so you don't have to borrow my clothes anymore," Debra lights up with excitement once more.
This is the best news that I could hope for, especially with today being what it is.
"Time to eat," Jack says heartily.
We all sit around the table to eat breakfast and the tension in the air is palpable. The excitement is buzzing but there is still a sadness in my heart.
"What's wrong?" Jackson asks me.
"Today is the day my mom died," I say with a frown. "She's been gone eight years.
"I'm so sorry." Jackson says reaching over and grabbing my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"It's okay," I say.
Although it's really not and I can tell by the look on Jackson's face, he knows that I'm really not okay.
After breakfast, Debra cleans up and Jackson, Devon, Charlie and I head off to school. I'm not really looking forward to school today after what had happened with my dad, but it's something that I'm going to have to deal with. I know that the office is aware that he's not allowed to sign me out of class anymore, so that's a plus.
The first half of the school day is like any other, I do my school work like I should and most people leave me alone. I'm used to it so it doesn't bother me.
At lunch, I work up the courage to walk into the cafeteria and sit at a table by myself. Shortly after sitting down, Jackson finds me and sits down with me.
"So, how's it going today?" he asks.
"The usual," I answer with a smile. "Except today, I've apparently got someone to eat with."
"I'll eat with you every day if you stay in here, you never come into the cafe," Jackson points out.
"I never did before because I didn't really want anyone talking to me because of him," I say meaning my father, Jackson catches on easily.
"Well, the only person you have to worry about now is me and that's only to beat up the jerks," he beams brightly at me, his blue eyes twinkling.
He has really pretty eyes, I note for the millionth time since the time I've met him.
Those butterflies are back in my stomach again.
What am I thinking? Jackson is my savior, not someone I could be with like that. I try to shake the thoughts from my head, but they keep going back romantically. I decide to immerse myself in my English book to keep from blushing at the sight of Jackson.
"Whatcha thinking?" Jackson asks.
"Nothing," I say almost too quickly trying to hide the blush in my cheeks with my hair.
Jackson doesn't push the subject which makes me eternally grateful.
"What do you think we'll do for dinner?" I ask.
"Oh, knowing mom and dad, it'll be something huge," he says with a big smile.
"You already know don't you?" I eye him suspiciously.
"Of course, but I'm not telling you because it's a surprise," Jackson smiles again making me smile with him.
"That's so not fair," I laugh.
"You'd do the same for me," he chuckles.
"You're right," the smile on my face hasn't faded.
The bell rings signaling the end of lunch and I grab my books and shove them into my backpack before heading off to class with Jackson trailing behind me. He walks me to class and when we get to the classroom, he wraps me in a hug.
"You're beautiful when you smile," he whispers in my ear before turning around and walking off toward his class.
I stand there slack jawed, not knowing how to respond.
His words don't help my feelings toward him at all.