Fall Away

I was almost surprised when my door creaked open that night. I had been lying in bed for almost an hour waiting for Adri to come in, and I’d started to think that he wasn’t going to show up.

“What took you so long?” I murmured as light filled my room through the doorway, casting his shadow against the floor.

“What do you mean?” He whispered, closing the door behind him. I heard his footsteps pad across the floor before his weight settled tentatively down on the ground. I squinted into the darkness, trying to see his face, but my eyes hadn’t adjusted to the dark since he’d opened the door and let all the light in.

“You know what, it doesn’t even matter.” I murmured, climbing out of the covers and crawling over next to him. I didn’t want to start any more fights – not when we had so little time left together. “I missed you,”

“Um…I missed you too, I guess.” He murmured hesitantly.

I frowned at his detached tone, resting my head against his shoulder and curling into his side. I waited for him to wrap his arms around me like he normally did, but he just froze awkwardly, so I grabbed his arm and pulled it around me instead. It had been too long since we’d cuddled up like this – I’d forgotten what it felt like to curl up like this. He felt different than I remembered; our bodies didn’t melt together like I thought they did, but that could have been because he was completely tense.

“Winnie, what are you doing?” He whispered.

“Well, you said you were going to come up and see me tonight…I assumed it wasn’t to talk strategy.” I said sarcastically. My romantic mood was gone; I wriggled out of his arm and pulled my knees into my chest, scowling into the darkness.

“When did I say I was going to come see you?” He asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. If this is how you’re going to be, just leave.” I snapped.

“No, no, Winnie! I didn’t mean it like that, I just…I didn’t remember.” He insisted. He reached over and grabbed my hand in his, stroking the back of it with his thumb.

I winced; if holding my hand was the most intimate he was willing to be with me even in the privacy of my room, what was it going to be like in the arena? Had Cashmere completely changed him?

I leaned forward again, my free hand fumbling in the darkness to find him. My hand brushed against his cheek, and I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back almost instantly, alarmed but willing. I felt a wave of victory wash over me; Cashmere hadn’t taken him away, after all.

Wait, no. Something was still wrong. His lips on mine…they didn’t feel right. Maybe he was still tense. I tried to deepen the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck, and he responded eagerly. No, he didn’t feel tense. At this point, he wasn’t even a little reluctant. Despite the kiss feeling wrong, it still felt strangely familiar.

<i>“60 seconds,” Declared a voice through the speakers.
Just as that announcement blared through the room there was a knock at the door. Finnick walked in, and he gave a solemn nod to Shalim, who gave me a wave goodbye and walked out.

“Finnick! I thought you weren’t going to come!” I said, the words rushing out of my mouth. “I can’t do this.”

Finnick walked to me and cupped my face in his hands. He angled my face up to his and pressed his lips against mine.</i>

I pulled back suddenly. “Finnick?” I choked out.

“That was nice. Unexpected, but nice.” He murmured, slightly out of breath. He wasn’t whispering anymore, and I could hear that it was definitely Finnick’s voice, not Adri’s.

Anger ripped through me. What was Finnick doing here? And why hadn’t Adri showed up. “Why did you just let me kiss you? You should have done something, or at least told me you weren’t Adri!” I hissed, smacking him in the shoulder before collapsing back against my pillow, embarrassed tears running down my cheeks.

“You thought I was Adri?” Finnick murmured quietly, sounding rather dejected.

“Yes!” I said, too tired to sit up and hit him again, so instead I nudged his leg angrily with my foot.

“Oh…sorry,” He muttered.

I realized how ridiculous I was being – did he really just apologize for not being Adri? “No…sorry, that was me.” I said, words muffled by the pillow.

“Are you really sure that everything is okay with you and Adri? I mean, I know it’s not my place, but…” He let his sentence trail off. I wondered if he didn’t finish his sentence because he couldn’t think of a reason, or if he did have a reason but he knew it would hurt me too much to hear the evidence that my husband was growing more and more distant.

I sighed. “I don’t know.” I admitted bleakly. “He hasn’t said anything to me. But maybe that’s the problem; he’s not saying anything to me unless he absolutely has to talk to me. Even when we’re alone, he’s just…different. But things can’t just change like that, can they? He stabbed himself for me. At one point or another, he loved me. How could his feelings fade that quickly?”

“Once we the Games begin, he and Cashmere will go their separate ways, and you two will be together again. Everything will work out once we get into the arena.” Finnick said.

I laughed bitterly, the irony of the situation hitting me like a ton of bricks. “There’s something I never thought I’d hear anyone say.”