Fall Away

I woke up the next morning to find Finnick still asleep on my bed next to me, just as he’d been last night. I vaguely remembered asking him to stay, overwhelmed with loneliness, but felt bad seeing that he’d stayed on top of the covers to leave me with some privacy. I reached over to give him a gentle nudge. “Finnick, wake up. We have to get down to the training arena.”
Finnick opened his eyes slowly, blinking against the harsh sunlight streaming in through the window, and let out a low chuckle, his voice sweet like honey with a sleepy rasp. “This is nice. Never thought I’d get to wake up next to you again.”
I licked my lips nervously and sat up. “Hey, let’s have breakfast,” I said, rolling out of bed as quickly as I could.
Finnick groaned and threw his head back. “Can’t we just stay in bed for the rest of the day?” he asked, giving me a seductive grin and a wink to give a different meaning to his words.
We. “No, no, we – uh, no. Train. We have to train,” I babbled awkwardly.
Finnick laughed. “God, I keep forgetting how easy it is to wind you up.” He finally rolled out of bed, running his fingers through his hair and stretching. His shirt rose up his toned stomach to reveal the band of his boxers as he reached his arms behind his head, and I blushed and looked away, nearly tripping over my own feet as I tried to get out of the room.
“Slow down, Winnie, what’s the rush?”
“Nothing, I’m just really hungry.” It wasn’t even a lie – as soon as I saw the table piled high with food, I was practically sprinting to the nearest chair.
Finnick came to the table just in time to see me trying – and failing – to stuff three orange wedges in my mouth all at once, and he burst out laughing. “Don’t choke.”
“Thanks for the reminder,” I said sarcastically as soon as I’d managed to fit the wedges in my mouth.
Finnick’s smile grew wider, and I felt myself stop chewing as I realized that, maybe in a different world, this could have been my life. If Adri and I had never met like we did in the arena, if I’d never escaped with him, I might have been crowned victor and returned to District 4 with Finnick. We could be waking up together every morning just like this, sitting down to breakfast with each other, spending our days on the sunny beaches of District 4 or lazing around together, filling our afternoons with naps and lazy kisses and laughter. I could see it all so clearly, for some reason, and as much as I hated to admit it, there was still a part of me that wanted that, just a little – especially now that Adri seemed so eager to blow me off for Cashmere.
“What are you thinking about?” Finnick asked after a few moments, his brow furrowing and lips curving into a frown as he saw me staring off into space, half an uneaten orange still in my hand.
“Hm?” I jolted out of my thoughts with a start, accidentally squashing the orange in my hand as I forgot it was there.
Finnick ducked to avoid the cloud of orange spritz that flew everywhere, laughing. “Christ, I didn’t think you could manage to make fruit dangerous. Maybe you are a Career, after all.”
I winced, having been unluckier than Finnick and gotten a few drops of orange juice in my eye. “Oh, yeah, fear me,” I said sarcastically, blinking rapidly and rubbing at my eye with a napkin.
“Here, let me help,” Finnick said, shooting up out of his chair and at my side in a heartbeat, tilting my head back and gently angling my face up to his, frowning as he looked into my eyes for any sign of pulp or seeds or something that could be stuck in there. “Blink for me,” he said quietly.
I obeyed, trying to look out of the corner of my eye to avoid meeting his intense gaze and trying to regulate my breathing as my heart pounded wildly in my chest. I could smell him, that same crisp cool fragrance that had given me so much comfort the last time I was preparing for the games, and it was still just as intoxicating to me, just as potent.
Maybe if I hadn’t been so focused on calming myself down, I would have heard the door open and the footsteps track through the doorway and into the dining room. Instead, the only thing I heard was the cold voice demanding, “What’s this?”
I whirled my head around, accidentally slamming my forehead into Finnick’s chin. I cried out in pain and clutched my forehead, while Finnick let out a low oath and clenched his jaw against the pain.
“Adri,” I said softly as I saw him standing just a few feet behind me, arms flexed and hands clenched into fists. “I just got something in my eye, Finnick was helping me try to get it out.”
“Oh, how convenient,” he scoffed.
Anger rushed through me, and I found myself shooting up out of my seat. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, I just thought you were too smart to fall for his little tricks.”
“Little tricks?” Finnick repeated, stepping towards Adri, and at this point I could tell he wasn’t just clenching his jaw against the pain of his chin.
I immediately placed myself between the two of them, trying to break them up, but I was too short; their eyes were locked above my head, and I found myself cursing my genetics. If only I was half a foot taller, maybe this would have actually been an effective way to break them up. “Both of you, cut it out.”
Finnick’s eyes narrowed and he continued to stare Adri down for a few seconds longer before finally looking away, glaring at the floor. “I didn’t even do anything, it’s all his fault.” he grumbled.
Adri twitched, but to my relief he pretended not to have heard anything. “Winnie, could I speak to you alone?” he asked, but rather than waiting for my reply he reached over and locked his hand around my wrist, towing me out of the dining room.
“Why do you ask me to do something if you’re just going to drag me along anyway?” I muttered.
“I don’t like the way he’s looking at you,” Adri said, completely ignoring me.
“Are you serious right now?” I spluttered. “I don’t like the way you’re hanging around Cashmere so much, or the way you’re talking about her, or the way you’re defending her!”
“That’s completely different, and you know it.”
“No, I don’t know it.”
Adri sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, like he was getting a headache. “Can we not do this right now?”
I shook my wrist out of his grip. “Fine. Do what you want,” I said coldly before turning and marching back through the dining room, past Finnick and into my room, slamming the door shut roughly behind me. My stomach growled loudly just as I’d closed the door, though, and so I begrudgingly opened the door and stormed into the dining room again, grabbing my plate wordlessly before heading back into my room, both Finnick and Adri watching me. I heard Finnick laugh at my unexpected reappearance, followed by Adri speaking in a low angry voice and Finnick replying in an annoyed tone, but I couldn’t make out what either of them were saying. I opened my door to try and hear them, but the hinges squeaked loudly in protest, and they both stopped speaking immediately.
Finnick suddenly turned round the corner separating my room from the guest room, leaning against the wall in a seductive manner and grinning at me. “Way to be stealthy, love.”
“I wanted to be sneaky.”
“You were too squeaky,” he teased, ruffling my hair.
Adri cleared his throat, appearing behind Finnick and walking over to my side. “Winnie, could I talk to you for a second?” He paused and glanced over towards Finnick, who met his gaze with a steady grin and a little wave as he leaned against the wall casually. “Alone,” Adri added.
“Pretend I’m not here,” Finnick said, his grin growing wider.
“Or you could actually not be here.” Adri clenched his jaw and squeezed his hands into fists at his side, taking a threatening step towards Finnick, who didn’t even flinch.
“Why didn’t you come to see me last night?” I asked quietly, suddenly unable to look at either of them as I remembered everything that had unfolded the night before.
Adri’s voice suddenly softened. “I tried, I really did.”
“But?” I pressed.
“But…um,” he paused, and I glanced up to see him nervously running his hand through his hair. “But Cashmere sort of…”
“Oh, Cashmere. Right. Okay, yeah, you can leave now.” I snapped, turning around and heading back into my room.
Adri grabbed my wrist, and as much as I fought to pull my arm free it was no use. “Please, listen to me. You have to know it’s not like that!”
I stared up at him, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming at him.
Realization dawned on him then, and his brow furrowed. “You don’t know that. You mean, you think…?”
“Let go of me,” I said quietly.
“How could you think I’d do that?” Adri asked, ignoring me as he pulled me even closer to him, hand still locked around my wrist.
“She said, let go of her,” Finnick cut in, his hand wrapping around Adri’s forearm as he tugged it away, freeing me.
“Take your hand off me.” Adri’s voice was low and cold and dangerous.
Finnick cast a glance at me, then looked back at Adri without letting go. “Not until you leave.”
“Both of you, stop it,” I murmured, taking a deep breath and squeezing my eyes shut. “Adri, you should go. I’m sure Cashmere is wondering where you are.”
Adri’s face drained of expression, before he slowly nodded. “Yeah, I should. She probably is.” He said it with venom in his voice, like he knew how much it hurt me. I tried to pretend it didn’t, but he knew me better than that.
“Tell her I said hello,” I said sarcastically, before closing the door behind me and sitting at the foot of my bed, pulling my knees into my chest. I heard Adri’s heavy footsteps storm away from the door, followed by the front door slamming so heavily the lights flickered.
A moment later, there was a quiet knock at my door. “Can I come in?”
“It’s open,” I said, so quietly that I wasn’t sure I’d even said it at all, but sure enough a few seconds later Finnick stepped into my room.
“Oh, Winnie,” Finnick frowned and kneeled down in front of me, thumbs gently swiping at my cheeks to wipe away the tears I hadn’t even realized were there.
“I hate this. I hate everything about this,” I said, full-on bawling now, my chest heaving with sobs.
“Shh, I know,” he said quietly, voice sweet and soothing as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap, letting my cry into his shoulder. I was suddenly struck with the realization that maybe I needed Finnick a lot more than I’d been willing to admit to myself all this time.