‹ Prequel: Trust Me
Status: In progress.

Fall Away

Chapter 19

I brought my foot up and thrust it back, driving the spike of my heel deep into Adri's thigh. I'd been aiming for the groin, but he was too tall and I was too short, so it felt like a significant miss. It was effective enough, however, as his grip loosened for a split second, just long enough for me to twist out of his grip.
"What...why...why?" I spluttered, voice a deadly hiss as I looked him straight in the eyes, glaring him down.
He knew what I meant despite my lack of words. "I didn't want you getting in the middle of that," he said, wincing as he pressed his fingers deep into the place where my heel had sunk into him.
"Why?" I repeated.
"Because they're both twice your size. Hell, Brutus is probably triple your size. You really think you could take a full-on, direct punch from him?"
"That's not what I meant," I said, turning to glance at Finnick, looking to try and help him, but there was now a tight circle of Peacekeepers surrounding him and Brutus, preventing any other tributes from getting in the middle of things.
He caught on quickly enough and heaved a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration with his free hand. "You're still my wife."
I scoffed. "That's debatable."
For a split second I saw genuine hurt flash across his face, but before I could react it was gone, and I wondered if it was ever there at all. "True enough," he said, but what scared me the most was the lack of anger in his voice, not even any sadness. Hardly any emotion at all -- he sounded so calm about it, like he was just noticing something in the weather. It didn't sound like it mattered to him one way or another.
I turned back to Finnick, but the Peacekeepers were in the middle of pulling him roughly to his feet as he held his hands behind his head, lips curled in a grimace as he was dragged to one side of the room and pinned against the wall there. Brutus still seemed to be putting up a fight, and I turned away just before a Peacekeeper gave him another hit with the electric prod.
"Back up," one of the Peacekeepers said gruffly as I tried to get closer to Finnick, to at least get a look at him properly and make sure he was okay.
"He's from my District!" I snapped, though I knew I was no match for this man. He towered over me, with an equipment belt full of electric prods and guns.
The man laughed. "Like that means anything here," he said before roughly shoving me backwards. I stumbled as I tried to regain my balance, cheeks hot as I felt everyone's eyes back on me.
"You okay?" A voice murmured in my ear, and I flinched, afraid for a moment that it was Adri, but I turned to see Peeta standing behind me with a concerned look on his face.
"Yeah, I guess. All things considered," I said, letting him hook his arm in mine and gently usher me over towards one of the chairs lining the sides of the room. I could hear the starting music playing now, leaving just a few minutes until showtime, and relief washed through me. The Peacekeepers would have to let Finnick go for his interview -- he was one of the Capitol favourites, after all.
"Have you heard what they're saying about the interviews?" Peeta asked.
"About trying to make the Capitol mad? Yeah, I've heard a few things. Are you going to? Y'know, say something?"
Peeta glanced across the room, eyes lingering on Katniss, and even in just that short glance I read the unmistakable love and defiant protectiveness on his face. "I have to," he said softly, and suddenly I felt uncomfortable, like I was intruding on a personal moment not meant to be shared with a stranger like me.
I frowned and turned away awkwardly, looking up at one of the monitors held backstage as Cashmere stepped out for her segment. It was funny, how friendly and warm she could look when she wanted to.
"Cashmere! My darling, lovely to have you back with us!" Caesar cried with delight.
Cashmere smiled and tossed her long golden hair over her shoulder, crossing her legs delicately as the audience applauded wildly for her. "I'm so happy to be back, although I wish it could be under different circumstances."
Caesar nodded, plastering a showy frown on his face. "I know, it must be hard on you."
"I'm just...I'm going to miss everyone so much!" Cashmere said, a few tears starting to roll down her cheeks. "Everyone here is like family to me, I can't bear to think of losing any of them. It's heartbreaking."
The audience broke out in sad murmurs, and Caesar shifted uncomfortably in his seat, evidently knowing he was losing his audience. "Thank you for joining us tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Cashmere!" he cried, ending her segment early.
She rose from her seat, blowing kisses to the audience and wiping at her still-flowing tears as she walked up the stairs that lead over the stage to the long podium, taking her place there. She'd done her part well, I noted.
Adri was next, and I felt my stomach turn as I wondered what he'd say. I watched him walk across the screen, my heart panging with longing as I saw the carefree happiness on his face that I hadn't seen in what felt like forever. I could see the little places in his face that were all wrong, too controlled, too tight, that showed it was just fake, but it still made me crumble inside.
"So, Adri, last time you finished the Games you walked out with a lovely wife. Tell us what it's like going back in with Winnie by your side," Caesar said.
My blood turned to ice. I already knew I didn't want to hear what was going to happen next, but I couldn't turn myself away.
"It's been...um, hard, actually," Adri said, frowning. "Winnie and I, we were so young when we got married. It's no one's fault, we're just not the same people we were when we met. People change, especially at that age."
Caesar's expression twisted into surprise. "You mean to say your marriage isn't going well?" he asked, as people in the audience started to exchange hushed murmurs.
"To be honest, I never wanted to get married at all," he said, and my stomach twisted again, sharply this time. I dug my fingernails into my palms, trying my best not to be sick as I waited for the nausea to pass. "The whole marriage was President Snow's idea. We never had a choice. Truthfully, Winnie and I both have feelings for...other people." With that, Adri cast a glance over his shoulder to look up at Cashmere, who was still dabbing her tears away above the stage. The camera panned up to her face, and she smiled at him through her fake tears.
"Winnie..." Peeta began next to me, and I could hear the pity in his voice.
I waved his concern away dismissively with a small smile, like it was nothing, and prayed that I could keep myself from crying. The last thing I needed was to smudge the makeup Shalim had spent so long perfecting. I couldn't help but wonder what the hell Adri thought he was doing; President Snow would certainly not let him get away with this. I didn't know how he'd get Adri back, I just knew that he would, and it wouldn't be light. We were all supposed to play our part, do whatever Snow told us without letting the Capitol know he was the one pulling the strings, but outing everything so daringly on live television that was being aired throughout all of Panem...he was surely crazy.
By the time I turned back to the monitor Adri's section had already finished, and Enobaria was chatting animatedly away with Caesar, her cosmetically sharpened teeth clashing with the bubbly personality she was trying to put on. I felt someone sit down next to me and saw Finnick, his lip now split open, presumably from fighting with the Peacekeepers, but he looked otherwise unscathed.
"What'd I miss?" he asked, exchanging glances between Peeta and I.
"Nothing exciting," I filled in quickly, before Peeta could take it upon himself to supply an answer. "Now be quiet, I want to hear this."
Both of them were quiet for a moment before I felt Finnick's warm breath wash over my neck, lips nuzzling in just under my ear, sending electric shivers up my spine as I tried not to lean in to his touch, not wanting to admit the effect he had on me. "I'll just ask Peeta about it after you're gone," he murmured.
"There's nothing to ask about," I breathed, voice unsteady as I tried to keep up the lie with his lips on my skin.
"Then you'll have nothing to worry about," Finnick supplied, lightly nipping my earlobe before chuckling deeply and leaning back, giving me space to breathe as I tried to think about everything but him, his cool scent still swirling around me, making it hard to think straight at all.
Before I knew it, Enobaria and Brutus, Wiress and Beetee had all finished their interviews, and one of the stagehands was shooing me out onto the stage. I took a deep breath before walking down the lit-up runway as confident as I could, focusing on the applause and trying to ignore the concerned voices I could hear murmuring as they saw me, no doubt remembering Adri's comments.
"Winnie! Lovely to see you again. If you don't mind my saying, you've grown into a beautiful woman over the last two years," Caesar said, stooping to press a polite kiss to the back of my hand.
"Thank you, Caesar. You're always too kind," I said, flashing my most dazzling smile. If there was one thing I was going to do, it was show the audience that I could survive this. I wouldn't let Adri tear me down like this.
"So, Miss Nova, is it true? Is your marriage falling apart?" Caesar said, expression quickly changing to one of serious concern.
I flashed a small sad smile at the audience, trying to act as though this was something I'd known for a long time. "Not exactly. It can't fall apart if it was never held together in the first place," I said with a sigh.
Caesar frowned and tutted, reaching over to pat my shoulder reassuringly. "But, like I said, you're a beautiful young lady. I'm sure you've got someone else in mind -- Adri seems to think so, anyway."
I froze, realizing that Finnick was offstage hearing this whole thing. Brutus's words rushed through my head, reminding me that maybe Finnick's feelings were all false, maybe I was just a game, and my paranoia kicked in. Could I really give everything up for someone who might just be playing me?
But Finnick was Finnick. He was there for me, he was my friend, and even if he didn't feel the same about me, I had to admit I still loved him. "Yes. He's far out of my league, to be honest, and he could have anyone he wanted in all of Panem, but I can't stop thinking about him." I was surprised at how easy it was to be so honest on the show -- too easy. I cleared my throat and smiled up at the audience, remembering what Finnick had said about trying to get the Capitol to call off the Games. If Adri was going to drop the curtain on Snow's involvement in our marriage, then I would play off that. "It's just so upsetting. I never got a real marriage, and now I'll never have the chance to settle down with someone I love."
"So what happened in the Arena the first time around, between you and Adri -- was any of that real?" Caesar asked, knitting his brows together as he tried to figure me out.
And again, before I could stop it, the truth came spilling past my lips, though I was hyper-aware of Adri standing just ten feet above me, able to hear everything I said. "It was real for me," I said, and the audience broke out in sympathetic whispers, all of them no doubt pitying me, thinking of me as the weak little girl who fell in love with someone out of her league. Perhaps they were right, I noted grimly.
"Well, Winnie, our time is almost out, but before we wrap things up, I just wanted to ask you about Finnick Odair. I'm not sure if you've heard, but there have been a few rumours swirling around -- I think people are calling you two 'Finnie' now, is that correct?" Caesar asked, chuckling softly.
I couldn't help myself from smiling. "I think I've heard of that, yes."
"And, is there any truth to that? Are you and Finnick involved? After all, he was your mentor when you first went into the Games, right?"
I nodded. "He was," I said, not willing to acknowledge the other questions.
Caesar paused, waiting for something more from me. "That's it? No juicy details?"
I felt the heat rush into my cheeks and I stared down at the floor, unable to meet Caesar's gaze, but even looking into the audience or the cameras felt too much for me.
"Well, I think that says everything," Caesar said knowingly, and I peeked up at him out of the corner of my eye to see him winking at the audience. "Miss Nova, thank you so much for being here with us tonight. And now, let's bring out the man himself, Mr. Finnick Odair!"
The audience burst out in loud cheers -- the loudest of the night so far, I noted -- and I took my cue to leave the stage, heading up the stairs and taking my seat next to Beetee on the platform above the stage. I turned to look at the monitor nearest me that broadcasted the events below, watching Finnick as he came out and took his seat next to Caesar.
"Lovely to have you, as always! I hear quite a few girls out there who'd agree with me," Caesar said with a booming laugh as Finnick settled in.
"Well, I'm always glad for an opportunity to be on your show," Finnick said with an easy smile.
"Now, Finnick, I believe you have a message for somebody out there -- a special somebody. Can we hear it?" Caesar asked, chuckling as he heard the girls in the audience swoon at the thought.
Finnick paused before turning to look directly into the camera, and my heart began to race. Even through a screen, his gaze was heavy and intense. "My love, you have my heart for all eternity. And if I die in that arena, my last thought will be of your lips." He stopped, though his eyes stayed on the camera, and for once there was no smile or laughter in his gaze. He looked sullen, heart-achingly sad, and I felt trapped in his stare. It was too easy to forget all the other people sitting around me, the hundreds of thousands more watching the show at home in their Districts. In those moments, it felt like Finnick and I were the only ones in the whole world, despite the fact that about 100 other girls in the crowd all screeched, thinking it was for them.
I heard Adri scoff from a few feet away, loud enough that it carried over to me, but I couldn't process that, because the look on Finnick's face was too close to the expression he'd worn that day in the hospital two years ago, when I'd told him I couldn't be with him. "My last thought will be of your lips". My fingers reached up to brush hesitantly against my lips, remembering how they'd felt under his, and I shivered.
I was shaken out of my thoughts when Finnick walked up the stairs and stood next to me, and I glanced over at him, surprised. Had I really zoned out for the rest of the interview? I had been hoping to hear his responses to Caesar's questions about us, I thought with a frown.
Finnick just smiled at me and reached over, taking my hand in his and squeezing it gently, before turning his attention over to the monitor. I tried to ignore the way my skin tingled under his as I turned back to the monitors as well, doing my best to focus on the next interview.
The rest of the show was even more hectic than I'd expected, with the female tribute from District 7 blowing up and cursing at everyone who put the Games together, Katniss Everdeen walking out onstage with a wedding dress that lit up in flames as she twirled and became the costume of a Mockingjay, and I knew as soon as Peeta sat down that he was going to drop a bomb just by the look on his face. I felt Finnick tense up next to me, and I knew he was thinking the exact same thing, though his thumb started rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand, like he was trying to play this off as nothing big.
"Now Peeta, the wedding...the marriage, all never to be?" Caesar asked with a frown.
"Well, actually, we got married -- in secret," Peeta said.
I could see Katniss shift uncertainly from the corner of my eye.
"A secret wedding?" Caesar repeated incredulouly. "All right, do tell."
"We want our love to be eternal," Peeta said simply. "Katniss and I, we've been luckier than most. I wouldn't have any regrets at all, if...if it weren't, um...if..." Peeta stammered, glancing down at the floor, face overwhelmed with thoughts I couldn't read.
"If it weren't for what?" Caesar encouraged, voice low and serious.
"If it weren't for the baby," Peeta finished, and the audience went wild, gasping and crying out and demanding something be done.
"All right, this is news! Calm down, this is news to all of us!" Caesar said, trying desperately to calm the audience.
Peeta turned and trotted up the stairs, coming to a stop next to Katniss and wrapping her in a tight hug. I felt Finnick's hand tighten on mine as the audience grew louder, the cries for the Games to be called off growing more angry and more frequent despite Caesar's best efforts to quiet them.
And suddenly Beetee's hand was looped through my free one, pulling it up into the air as Finnick did the same, and for a second we all stood, victors united together as one. I knew if there was anything I was going to do, I needed to do it now. My heart raced in my chest as I saw stagehands backstage scrambling to cut the broadcast out and dim the lights, and without thinking, I made my move before they could succeed.
I twisted to face Finnick, letting go of his hand and instead wrapping my arm around his neck, pulling his face to mine and kissing him for all of Panem to see.