Fall Away

By the time I'd finally gotten back up to the District 4 suite, my legs ached and my whole body felt like it was about to fall apart. I tiptoed through the door, trying my best not to make any sound, but it was no use; I'd barely made it halfway into my bedroom when the lights switched on.
"Oh...uh, hi," I mumbled, sheepishly turning to look at Finnick.
He frowned at me, eyes swimming with concern and prying questions, but he didn't say anything. He just held up a first aid container and motioned for me to sit down next to him on the bed.
"Really, I'm fine. Promise," I said, forcing a smile, but the sharp sting of my lip made me wince.
Finnick raised an eyebrow, and though he still hadn't said anything, his expression spoke for him.
"Fine," I said with a sigh, collapsing on the bed with another wince as my muscles ached under me.
"Drink," Finnick said, handing me a glass goblet filled with wine, the glass so large I had to hold it with both hands.
"I'm not thirsty," I muttered, though I took a large mouthful anyway.
"For the pain," Finnick replied, gingerly pulling my leg onto his lap and opening the first aid kit, starting to disinfect and bandage the scrapes on my knee.
After a few moments of watching him work in silence, I let myself lean back against the cushions, feeling the wine start to kick in already. "Aren't you going to ask me what happened?"
Finnick shrugged, not looking up from his fingers as he deftly removed bits of rock and gravel from my scrapes. "I figure if there's anything you want to tell me, you'll say it on your own."
"You're not even a little bit curious?" I asked, surprised.
He sighed, looking up into my eyes for a short second. "You're here. You're alive. That's all that matters to me right now."
I nodded, taking another long sip of wine, and for a few more moments I just watched him work again. He finished cleaning up my knees and turned to start cleaning up the cut on my lip, and just as he started to move in closer to my face, his eyes heavy as they gazed into mine, I spoke. "I'm divorced."
Finnick froze, eyes searching my face, no doubt trying to read my expression. "Oh," was all he said.
"Yeah." I took another drink, only to find that I'd already finished the entire glass. That couldn't be good, I realized. Given everything that had happened to me in the past few hours, getting drunk was probably not the best idea.
"Are you okay?" Finnick asked, reaching forward tentatively to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. I shivered at his touch, flinched a little, and he quickly pulled his hand back. "Sorry."
I shook my head, suddenly wanting his hands back on me, and I reached forward to gently rest my hands on his shoulders, just holding him there. "Kiss me?" I asked breathlessly.
His lips were on mine before I had time to blink, lips moving slow and soft and gentle as he tasted the wine still lingering to my lips. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, letting the glass fall from my fingers and shatter against the floor as I pulled him closer, doing everything I could to get rid of all the space separating our bodies. His mouth moved expertly against mine, tongue sliding past my lips and brushing against my own. I shivered, fingernails digging into his back through the fabric of his sweater before I decided that the sweater didn't need to be there at all.
I pulled away from the kiss, fingers searching for the hem of his shirt to pull it up over his head as his lips started hunting down my jawline, across my neck and down over my collarbones. I found the bottom of his sweater and started tugging it over his back, over his shoulders, and he leaned back just long enough for me to get it awkwardly over his head and toss the discarded fabric to the side. As soon as his shirt was off his lips were back on my skin, exploring the sensitive skin of my chest just over the neckline of my dress. He reached back behind me, fingers finding the zip to my dress, and raised me up off the bed just enough to get the zipper down, peeling it off my shoulders and down my legs, shimmying it off my ankles before crawling back up the bed to hover over me.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling his lips back to mine and savouring the feel of his warm skin against mine. I should have felt self conscious, lying there underneath a man as handsome and experienced as Finnick in nothing more than a pair of underwear, but all I could think about was how much I needed him, needed every part of him, needed this exact moment in time to last forever.
I reached down, fingers fumbling with the belt latched over the snakeskin pelt and his jeans, but suddenly his hands were around my wrists, pinning them down on either side of me on the bed.
"Whoa, whoa...Winnie," Finnick murmured, laughing breathlessly against my lips.
I felt my cheeks heat. "What? Thought you wanted this," I breathed, and there was that self consciousness.
"I do...God, believe me, I do," Finnick said, voice sounding pained. "But not now. Not like this."
"If not now, then when?" I said softly, knowing we'd go back into the arena tomorrow, and that would be it. There would be no miraculous escape; Snow wouldn't let two victors out for a third year in a row.
"I don't know, just not now. I won't take advantage of you when you're drunk and you've just had your life flipped upside down," Finnick said, voice bitter.
"It's not taking advantage of me if this is what I want," I pointed out, feeling overwhelmed as his breath washed over my bare skin, tickling my neck and chest.
"But this isn't what you want; this is you, having had too much wine and missing Adri."
"No it isn't; I promise, this is what I want." I said, biting my split lip to keep the embarrassed tears from spilling over. As much as I protested, I couldn't help but feel he was right; as much as I wanted this, I couldn't be sure where it stemmed from. Right now all I wanted was someone to distract me, to numb the pain of everything going on, and it wasn't fair to use Finnick for that.
Finnick sighed sadly and kissed the tip of my nose. "Then, if that's true, we can try this again later. I don't want to have you if I can't have all of you, willing and sober."
I frowned, still not entirely convinced, but Finnick pressed another kiss to my lips, this time sweet and chaste. "Okay," I whispered, not trusting myself to speak.
Finnick gave me a half smile and rolled over next to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me into his chest with one arm as he used the other to raise the covers up over us. I fell asleep within minutes, exhausted and overwhelmed but warm and safe in his arms.