A Moment to Capture

I wake up feeling perfectly fine the next morning. No bruises, no muscle pains, no nothing. It's as if the events of last night never even happened. But the convenience store robbery makes it to the morning news to remind me that it did happen. On TV, I see myself along with the old man, the two thugs, and the girl, whose name I find out is Jeanine Axelrod. I watch the security camera's footage from last night as I bite into a stale waffle for breakfast. They've replayed the part where I threw a knife at the thug's leg about three times. Not to be conceited or anything, but I look pretty bad-ass.

The news takes a shift and random civilians on the street are briefly interviewed. It is the talk of the town that Mysterion is back.

But I'm not back. I told myself I wouldn't go looking for trouble anymore. If I happened to come across it, it's only then that I would take care of it. Stopping those two robbers was only a coincidence. Though apparently the townspeople seemed to view it as a heroic act, one that could signify the return of Mysterion, South Park's "superhero." It's been years since I was considered an actual "superhero."

The sound of a car honking outside interrupts my breakfast. I hastily gather my backpack and whatever waffle I have left and leave the house. Kyle is parked in the driveway and I hop into the passenger seat of his car.

As he backs out into the street, he asks me, "So Mysterion's back, huh?"

Kyle is the only one that knows about Mysterion's true identity and about my.. gift. Whether or not he believed the fact that I can't die, he seemed to be the only one trustworthy enough to tell. I couldn't keep such big secrets to myself for long.

I sigh. "Nah, not really."

He glances at me with a raised eyebrow, confused. "What do you mean? This was just a one-time thing?"

"South Park's just too damn boring of a city that they'll fish for any story to make the local news seem interesting. I'm not back. It's just… it's habit, I guess." I shrug. What kind of town gets worked up about a crime-fighting teenager in a home-crafted spandex suit? The town I live in, apparently.

"Is that why you still carry your suit around?"

"I guess so."

I lean an elbow against the window and rest my cheek in the palm of my hand as I gaze at the passing landscape, uninterestedly. I say it's habit, but to be honest, I haven't really come up with a conclusion as to why I still carry the suit with me wherever I go. Maybe there is a part of me that's just too stubborn to admit that I do occasionally care about the city's well-being. A part of me that will never leave.



We reach the school's parking lot and meet up with Cartman, Stan, and Wendy. Things are different when we're with Wendy. When Wendy's with us, it's mostly her talking and because she's Stan's girlfriend, we feel out of place to shut her up. The two have been inconsistently together for years, and now she's got Stan whipped. We've learned to roll with it.

She groans as she gets out of Stan's front passenger seat. "This whole Mysterion comeback is great and all, but Jeanine's gonna be on my ass now."

My ears perk up at the sound of Jeanine's name. My curiosity takes over and the question never leaves me so I ask her, "Jeanine on your ass? Elaborate."

Wendy looks at me questionably. "Don't you know? She's like OBSESSED with Mysterion. For years she's been trying to get me to let her write an article about him but seeing as he hasn't been around for so long, I didn't find it relevant."

Wendy is the editor in chief for our school newspaper, The South Park Bull. And judging by her complaints, Jeanine has a spot in the newspaper as well. Now, she might even have a permanent spot on my list of people to be careful around.

"Well it's pretty relevant now," I say to Wendy.

"I KNOW," she groans again. "I do admit, though, it'll make a great story. Now that Mysteron's back, I'm going to let Jeanine write about the robbery. She was there first-hand, anyway. I just don't want her giving me any of her I-told-you-so attitude. …Anyway, since when were you so interested in my involvement with the newspaper, Kenny?"

"Since now," I say. Kyle and I exchange a quick glance at each other. But what can I say? Jeanine's obsessed with me—or my other me, anyway—and I'm curious to know why.

Everyone else my age seems jaded by Mysterion's antics. My peak of fame seemed to be when we were all kids, when I saved South Park from the demon god, Cthulhu. So since then, no one at school really cares for Mysterion anymore. Only the people downtown seem excited whenever he makes a comeback.

"Well if you ask me, Mysterion coming back is pretty gay," Cartman butts in. We all ignore him and walk toward the school building.



By lunchtime, I am already drained from school. It's such a bore compared to the thrill I get from being Mysterion. Not that I'd rather be out there prowling the streets and saving the city, but you know what I mean.

The guys and I sit at our usual table while Wendy sits with her girl friends a couple of tables away.

"So are you guys gonna come watch me at the game tomorrow?" Stan asks us. He is quarterback for our school's football team but since he was in junior varsity our freshman year, we never really come out to the games to support him anymore. I don't know why he still asks.

"Nah," Cartman and Kyle say in unison. Skipping out on football games is one of the only things they usually agree on. I remain silent. What great friends we are.

Stan gives out a sigh. "Fine. It's cool."

"You know what's totally not cool?" a voice suddenly calls out from beside me.

"Oh hey, Wendy," I say dryly.

"Hey," she says as she makes herself comfortable at our table. "Sorry if I'm bothering you guys but—don't roll your eyes at me, Cartman—it's just.. so Stan, I asked Jeanine about writing the article, right? The Mysterion article. And she said she'd do it.. but not until she gets a good picture of him to go with it! I mean, really? The more she waits to write this story, the more value it's going to lose. This story should be out in our next issue and not WEEKS after the robbery's already happened. Who knows how long it'll take to find Mysterion! Ugh, I finally think it's a story worth writing, she finally gets what she wants, and now she wants something else!"

"Tell her to write it without the picture," Stan suggests. Wendy just looks at him like it's a useless piece of advice. I think of Jeanine running down the sidewalk with her camera, chasing after me. Wendy and I both know that Jeanine will probably fight to get what she wants.

I chuckle. "Let her do what she wants," I say. "A girl as smart as her should know what's right to do."

Wendy pouts at me. "I am letting her do what she wants! I'm giving her until the next TWO issues to write it. After that, I won't let her write it at all. Why are you defending her?"

Because she's obsessed with me and maybe I owe it to her? "I think the newspaper could really use a good story. Maybe it's worth waiting."

"Fine," Wendy concedes. She takes a deep breath to calm herself down and says, "Maybe you're right. Maybe YOU should try to help her get a good photo of Mysterion."

"What, me?! Why?!" I question, probably looking a bit more alarmed than I had wished.

"It was a joke, Kenny," she says. "Unless you really want to. You kind of seem like you do."

"Jeanine's in a lot of my classes and I think she's president of the photography club. I'm sure she could get a good picture of him. Maybe you should help her, Ken," Kyle comments, eyeing me for a quick second before he realizes his mistake. That fucker.

"Yeah, I don't want her getting carried away. She needs to stick to her duties! She is president of photography club and she's our only photographer for newspaper too, and now we have a game coming up! So it's a great idea! Are you really going to help her?" Wendy asks.

I make sure my eyes don't show any signs of panic. "Um.. what makes you guys think it's my job to? I barely know her. And, besides, who actually reads the school newspaper anyway?"

Wendy does not look amused. Offended, maybe, but not amused.

"Well, Kenny, people who want a brighter future are either in newspaper or getting involved in other ways. And no offense but we're already seniors and so far you haven't done anything extracurricular.. Maybe it's time you join some clubs or something."

"…Are you telling me to join the photography club?" I ask, humorlessly.

"I know you roam the city a lot too, so maybe you guys can catch Mysterion together. I'm just trying to think of a better solution. You don't have to join Jeanine's club, just help her," Wendy says and shrugs. Then she adds, "I know Jeanine's a little weird and offbeat—she doesn't seem to have any friends besides her club—but then again you've never been this hesitant to get to know a girl, Kenny. If you know what I mean."

No friends? How does she not have any friends when even Cartman does? …Well, kind of.

And who does Wendy think she is?!

"Fine, I'll help her," I say. The words escape my mouth without me even knowing it, and it bewilders even Kyle, who sits across from me. I don't know why I agreed. I'm totally giving Wendy what she wants and there is no possible way I can help Jeanine with finding Mysterion. Did I do it because Wendy was starting to piss me off a little? Was it for a new thrill? Did helping Jeanine mean helping Wendy which ultimately means helping Stan? Maybe I underestimated how bad I felt that we're never there for Stan at his games... I have no idea and maybe I'm just trying to make the least bit of sense out of it. "Where can I find her?"

"She's taking pictures at tomorrow's game."

I sigh. "Well, Stan, I guess I'll see you there."