A Moment to Capture

So my brilliant plan is to put Kyle in my Mysterion suit, have him drive to South Park's cemetery late in the evening, and have Jeanine and I coincidentally bump into him so she can steal some photos. The cemetery would be a safe place. Barely anyone goes there, especially at night.

I doubt Kyle would agree to it though. That night when I ran into Jeanine at the game, he already had a hard time accepting the fact I gave in to helping the girl, knowing that I'd probably ask him for his help, which is what I am doing now. I stand at the door to his house, my backpack slung over my right arm, and ring the bell.

Mrs. Broflovski greets me as she opens the door. "Hi, Kenny, nice to see ya, Kyle's in his room."

"Thanks, Mrs. Broflovski," I tell her as I move passed her and up the stairs.

I knock twice on Kyle's door and open it to find Kyle on his laptop with his textbooks open. He would be doing homework on a Sunday night.

"Hey man, what's up," he says without averting his eyes away from his laptop.

"I need your help."

He looks up at me then with a slight look of dread. "Oh, no. Is this about the Jeanine thing? Already?"

"We only have two weeks, dude."

Kyle sighs. "I'll help you, but not if it involves me getting into your suit."

"Well shit, 'cause that's what I was going to ask you to do," I say, dangling my backpack in front of him.

"No." He goes back to his homework.

"Please… I need you to get into my pants."

He shoots me a look that says, really, Kenny?

"Why do you want to help Jeanine now anyway? Isn't it easier to just say sorry you can't help her?"

It's true, it is easier to run in this situation. But then I remember the way Jeanine's eyes seem to glisten more when she talks about Mysterion. Wendy wasn't lying when she said she was obsessed with him. Well, obsession is a strong word. Jeanine is just wholeheartedly fascinated… by me! And the worse part? No one seems to have her back when it comes to her unusual desire to meet the guy. I mean, it's not impossible. I should know that the most.

"It might be easier, but it's not what I feel is right. I wanna help her because… she seems like she might need it," I say nonchalantly. Then I add, "And helping her would mean helping Wendy, which would mean helping Stan.. kind of."

"How noble of you," Kyle snorts. "Is that the suit in your bag?"

"Yeah."

"Fine. I need a break from all this homework anyway. When do I get to wear it?" he asks unexcitedly.

I tell Kyle about my cemetery idea, which I hope to execute by Monday. The sooner the better. I can tell he doesn't like the plan at all, but because we've done crazier shit as kids, he'll do it.

Kyle tries on the suit to make sure it's a comfortable fit. Other than a slight bit of extra fabric at his ankles, the suit fits him perfectly. A pair of brown boots would cover the slouch of black spandex at his feet anyway.

"How do you wear this and not feel stupid?" Kyle asks me as he looks at himself in the mirror.

"Come on, don't you remember how cool you felt as The Human Kite?" I tease.

"That was eight years ago. I feel stupid now," he says, his face turning almost as red as his hair, if only I could see it. His jew fro was all tucked in beneath the cloak's hood. "So, so stupid."

I don't take his remarks to offense. Instead, I just laugh a little. A lot changes when you grow up.

Kyle continues to look at himself in disgusted amusement.

"Thanks for helping me, man."



At school the next Monday morning, I find Jeanine in the hallway at her locker with her camera in her hands. Her hair is up in a ponytail again and she wears her reading glasses atop her head. I watch as she carefully assembles her camera together, fastening the large lens onto the camera's body. She flinches a little when I creep up on her with a friendly greeting.

"Hey, Jeanine."

"Kenny! Hey."

"Are you free tonight?" I ask her.

She takes a moment to think before she answers. "It's a school night, I'll probably have homework. But other than that, I guess so."

"Okay. Finish your homework early 'cause I think I know where Mysterion is gonna be."

Her eyebrows shoot up. "Tonight? What makes you so sure?"

"I've seen Mysterion around the cemetery on some nights. Now that he's back, maybe he'll make visits this week. We can check every night, if you want," I offer, knowing that we'd only have to check once.

"The cemetery?" She questions skeptically.

"I told you I'd help, didn't I?" She shoots me a look of apprehension. I ask her, "What, are you scared?"

"No, I'm not scared," she retorts, though unconvincingly. "It just doesn't seem like a likely place for Mysterion.."

She's right. The cemetery is the one place I avoid in the city, especially at night.

"Well have you ever been there at night?"

"No."

"Then trust me. Let's go and see if he's there tonight at 9."

Jeanine and I exchange phone numbers and addresses.



By 9PM that evening, I am parked in front of Jeanine's house in my dad's old pickup truck. Eventually Jeanine emerges from the door wearing the same red sneakers and her camera around her neck. As she hops into the front passenger seat, she takes one deep breath.

"Not scared, right?" I ask.

"Nope. I've fared worse," she says, facing straight ahead and looking focused.

As I pull out into the street and begin driving to the cemetery, I ask her, "Oh really? What's worse than an old cemetery at night?"

"Balancing family with school, newspaper deadlines, and photography club. Those kinds of things. How about you? Are you scared?"

"Nope. I've experienced much, much worse."

After about twenty minutes of driving we reach the cemetery and I park in the lot in front of it, making sure that Jeanine doesn't notice Kyle's car parked along the street across from us. He should already be in the cemetery, dressed in my suit, and prepared to do as I told him once Jeanine and I enter through the gate.

I lead Jeanine down the short dirt path that leads to the cemetery's entrance gate. It opens with an eerie creak. Once we are inside, Jeanine and I take a brief moment to absorb our surroundings. Though I carry a flashlight, the place is ominously dark and the faint light of the moon creates the effect of dark silhouettes all around us. Silhouettes of gravestones, gargoyles, and other unknown figures. A layer of a light, ghostly fog rests on the moist ground, eerily reminding us that we might not be alone.

"Okay. This is kind of creepy," Jeanine admits. As I lead the way I feel the warmth of her body growing closer to me, but not too close. Thankfully the place is dark so she can't see the grin that finds its way to my lips. "Kenny. Say something."

"Hm, what, are you that spooked?" I ask her, breaking out of my silence. I'm keeping my focus, trying to act brave.

"A little. Where are you leading me?" she asks suspiciously. Our walking does not stop until Kyle makes himself known.

"To Mysterion. I'm not gonna rape you or anything, if that's what you're worried about."

She giggles nervously. "I don't see him."

"Well duh, it's pitch black out here. Do you have your camera?"

"Yes," she says. I hear her uncapping her lens and then she gasps. She whispers, "There!"

Jeanine points her finger at a place in the cemetery not too far from us. We see Kyle's silhouette, who is leaning against a large monument. The question mark that adorns the cloak's hood is the only giveaway that the figure belongs to Mysterion. I gasp in mock astonishment. "It's him! Let's go!"

Jeanine and I pick up our pace as we get closer to Kyle, who is now running to and from tombstones large enough to hide his whole body. We watch him run back and forth for a while. Jeanine asks, "What in the world is he doing?"

"I don't know. Looking for something?" I lie. "Come on, let's get closer!"

"Wait." She stays behind.

"What's the problem?"

"I just realized he'll see the flash."

I plant my palm at my forehead. "So? Doesn't your camera have night vision or something?"

"Yeah, if I want bad quality photos."

"Just take it with flash then. I don't think he'll care."

Even though it's dark I can sense Jeanine pouting at me in disagreement.

"I can't do that! He'll run away. He ran from me last time," she says as if Kyle was a squirrel we were trying to chase.

"Maybe he won't run this time," I try to say convincingly.

She sighs. A sign of giving in. She follows me as I make my way toward Kyle, getting closer and closer until we are close enough to steal a decent picture.

"All right. Do your thing," I whisper at her.

Jeanine takes another deep breath as she lifts her camera to her eye. We crouch on the ground behind a stone, watching as Kyle runs in haphazard directions, his cloak billowing as he darts left and right. She seems to be observing him, waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect angle. I wait patiently. Then I see her arms shift downward and she lets her camera fall at her chest.

"What's the problem?" I ask her.

"That's not him," she says. "It's someone posing as him."

"What! What do you mean? That's definitely him!" I tell her, words spilling out of my mouth in disbelief. She cannot possibly be serious.

"No, it's not. He runs like a girl. It's a poser. And why is he even running around here? He looks crazy."

"I think it's really him!" I try to argue. "Can't you take a picture anyway?"

She stands up in front of me now, ready to leave. "Kenny, I might as well ask my kid sister to dress up as Mysterion and take pictures of her. It's not the same. But thanks for bringing me out here anyway. Let's just go."

I sigh in defeat and follow her out of the cemetery to the truck, leaving Kyle among the graves. Jeanine knew too much about Mysterion than I had hoped.



"So? How did it go?" Kyle asks me the next morning when he picks me up for school. Both of us are obviously more tired than usual. Kyle slightly more than I am though.

"She thought you were a mental person posing as him, running around like that. And she thinks you run like a girl."

His face turns sour. "So no picture?"

"Nope."

"Damn. Do you have a plan B?"

"Not yet."