Something to Remember

SARAH:

I was in the car and had the engine started before John even had the chance to pick his phone out of the grass where I’d dropped it. As I peeled out of Ilise’s driveway, I could only be thankful that I had decided to leave my purse and keys in the car last night.

John was calling my name from the front yard and the rest of the guys had frozen in their tracks. I leaned across the passenger seat to flick them off, mostly John, when I passed to start down the road.

Almost immediately after, I could feel the waterworks switch on. How could John come and tell me how much he loved me only to end up having a girl waiting on him?! Before I completely broke down, I switched on the radio and rolled down the windows. Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” was playing so I blared it over the noise of the wind and sang along. Somehow, it comforted me to know that the absolute defeat I was feeling had been felt by other people too.

"Tell me, why’d you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else, gets me frustrated."

I shouted the lyrics at the top of my lungs and ignored my tears as I sped through the empty back roads to the highway. I was done with this place. I was done with the time I had been wasting; just hoping better luck would find me. I was done with John.

*******************

“Hey Sarah! You playing tonight after your shift?” Tom called out to me from his booth. He had some fries in his mouth so I was momentarily distracted by the little pieces of potato that flew everywhere when he spoke.

“Uh, yeah, I’m playing,” I mentally scolded myself for staring at the food on his face and continued, “I just have to run home first to get changed. Gotta look good for my people,” I winked at Tom and continued through the restaurant after he nodded, already shoving more fries into his mouth. For a twenty-five year old, he had possibly the worst table manners I had ever seen.

On my way to the kitchen to place another order, I got several more greetings and questions as to whether or not I was going to perform. You’d think after two and a half months of playing every single Friday night, they’d catch on that yes; I was in fact going to play if it was Friday and I wasn’t dead. It wasn’t like I was ever going to have some place better to be. Unfortunately.

Honestly though, it didn’t really bother me that much; I was flattered that they all cared enough to want to stick around if I was. Megan, my boss and the owner of the place (Meg’s Café), claimed that I had managed to “raise business like honey attracts bees” but I always believed she was full of shit. There was no way that people decided to eat at a particular restaurant just because one of the waitresses sang and played guitar.

“You’re gonna go home and change before you play tonight, right?” Danny, the chef, asked as I tacked up my order.

“Don’t I always? Why do you ask?” I watched him curiously as he hustled to finish another plate and almost burnt his hand.

“Oh, ya know. Just making sure you weren’t going to go on stage looking like that,” He said while glancing up with a mischievous look in his eyes. I stuck my tongue out at him and pretended to be offended. He laughed at me.

“No offense. You look gorgeous right now. If I was twenty years younger, I’d be positively swooning,” Danny managed to fit in his sarcasm into any conversation, so I wasn’t surprised.

A couple of the other guys in the kitchen chuckled and I rolled my eyes before walking away to wait on more tables. Despite the fact that I wanted to do more with my life than be a waitress, I was happy to have so many amazing people to work with. They all treated me like family and I loved it.

After I was finished with my shift, it was nine o’clock so I hurried home to clean up before performing at ten. I took a quick shower and quickly brushed out my hair so it wouldn’t dry knotty. After pairing a black tank top with a skull on it and some dark washed jeans, I threw on a navy blazer and a long necklace. I applied some light makeup, then shoved about a dozen bracelets on my wrist and rammed my hoop earrings with spikes hanging from them into my ears. Once I quickly did a once over in the mirror, I grabbed my military inspired ankle boots and headed for the door. I only stopped to grab my guitar and keys. As it was, I was going to get there with barely enough time to tune my guitar.

I was amazed by the amount of cars in the parking lot when I arrived. The number seemed to increase every week. When I walked into Meg’s, a couple people clapped, others called out greetings, and I felt my face warm at the attention. Zac, one of the waiters I was friends with, gave me a lighthearted smack on the butt and I turned to glare at him before taking a seat on the stool that had been set on stage for me.

I took a couple moments to get comfortable and warm up on the guitar before I saw the house lights dim and everyone began to focus their attention on me. I took that as my cue to begin, so I leaned forward to speak into the microphone.

“Hey there. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sarah. Every Friday, Megan is kind enough to let me share some music with you guys,” I said and everyone clapped while some people cheered my name.

“First off, thanks to all of you for showing up. Music has a real special place in my heart, so you guys have no idea how much this means to me.”

There was some more applause and encouragement before they died down to let me continue.

“Tonight, I’ve decided to play something new for you. With any luck, I won’t screw it up and it won’t completely suck. I’ve decided to call it ‘Falling’, I hope you like it,” I said with one last smile to the crowd before looking down and concentrating on gathering my emotions. The trick to my success was always to turn my nervousness and stress into a way of expressing the mood of the music.

I began with the slow guitar intro and immediately sank into the song; it was one I knew by heart. I got through most of the song without a hitch and it wasn’t until I got to the end that my memories began to overtake me. I managed to hide my struggle pretty well because the only give away was the rasp-like tone in my voice that was growing more apparent. People could have easily assumed that was my intention.

“This time was just spent wasted, you’re a fucking liar and you know it. Go ahead, make the walls crumble, but leave me in the cold. Take a step back, watch me break down, don’t think twice as I fall, fall, fall…"

Everyone had been silent as I sang, but once I strummed the last note on the guitar, the restaurant erupted in applause and my face ignited. It was weird to sing out my broken heart to so many people I didn’t know, but at the same time, I felt better to be able to express how John’s actions had shattered me.

I played a couple more songs, less intense ones, before ending the night.

“Well, I just wanted to thank everyone again. Life hasn’t given me too much, but of all the things I have, I couldn’t be prouder to be up here performing for you. One time, someone told me that writing music helped them to clean up their life,” I swallowed down the bulge in my throat as I thought of John’s confession to me nearly three months ago. “Maybe one of these days that will work for me. Thank you again, so much. Goodnight, everybody.”

After hanging out with some people who had stuck around to talk to me, I managed to find my way to the bar and order a drink. Singing about what happened with John took more out of me than I had expected it to. It was just another reminder that I had yet to move on.

“Excuse me, Sarah?”

I spun around to find an expensive looking, middle-aged man standing in front of me.

“Er, hi. What can I do for you?” He reached out and placed a business card in my hand.

“My name is Jeremy Lyons, I work for a record company.”

I think my jaw must have hit the floor when I heard “record company”. He continued to speak despite my astonishment.

“ We’ve been watching you for a while now and we think it’s time to bring you aboard before someone else snatches you up. We’ll call you in the morning with the details, but for now, I just wanted to give you something to think about. We could have you on a plane to Los Angeles by Monday to start sorting out a career in music for you. I’m not sure if you want it, but with all the talent I just witnessed, it’d be a damned shame to waste it on a little New York coffee shop. You’ve got the chops to make it all the way.”

I sat there on the bar stool with what must have been an absurdly dazed expression on my face because Jeremy just laughed and nodded. As he turned around and walked out the door I stared down at the card in my hand.

What the hell had just happened?