Something to Remember

SARAH:

The ride to the hospital passed in a blur of lights. I vaguely noticed that I was squeezing John’s hand hard enough to cut off the circulation. Being the sweetie he was though, he never complained once.

Kyle was immediately rushed into the emergency room and I could hardly stand to look at him, his entire body shredded up and bloody. He was subconsciously moaning in pain and it made me want to cover my ears.

While we were waiting for any sort of news, Jared explained to John and me that they had been playing football when the neighbor’s dog jumped their fence and attacked Kyle. By the time the guys could stop the dog, he was ripped nearly to death.

John had his arm wrapped tight around me as we sat on the bench. Finally a doctor came to tell us that he was in critical condition and needed surgery immediately. What the surgery was for, I wasn’t sure because I shut down the moment I heard “critical condition”.

I just sat there, staring at the ground in silence. Ryan, Jack, and Ken were all being treated for minor wounds but the rest of the guys were waiting quietly, similar to me. I could feel John’s worry.

“Sarah, babe, you’re scaring me,” he whispered and pulled my hair back from my face. I slowly raised my eyes to him unseeingly.

“I can’t lose anyone else, John. It’d be too much,” I whimpered and he shifted on the bench, forcing me to lean against his chest, which rumbled soothingly as he spoke.

“No one is going anywhere, I promise. Kyle will get through the surgery and recover, maybe not quickly, but he will get better, and we’ll be here to support him all the while. Ok? We’re going to get through this together,” he assured me gently. I sighed as John kissed the top of my head sweetly and wrapped my arms around his skinny torso.

“I love you so much, please don’t ever leave me again,” I begged him quietly and he held me tighter while resting his head on mine.

“Never. I can’t survive anywhere else,” he told me.

**************************

A while later, I felt John gently shaking me awake.

“Ryan just talked to the nurse; Kyle has made it through surgery perfectly alright but is still being monitored closely, just in case. They said that he is unconscious and not available to visitors for another hour or so until they are sure he is completely stable.” I nodded, thankful he woke me up to tell me.

I looked at him while rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Can we get out of here until then?” I asked quietly and John gave me a tender smile.

“Of course. I know just the place too.”

He held my hand and we made our way to the car in a comfortable silence, only stopping to tell Jared we were leaving and to call us with any news.

I fell asleep during the drive, which was only about fifteen minutes, and awoke again to the feel of John carrying me. He was cradling me against his chest and I loved the feeling of his wiry but significant muscles holding me. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, studying the handsome planes of his face in the moonlight.

He seemed to feel me watching him and peered down at me smiling.

“Hey there sleepy head,” he said. He spoke softly, which made his voice raspy, and I felt butterflies in my stomach.

“Hey. Where are we?” I looked around to see that we were in some sort of lot or something.

“8123,” he told me. It sounded familiar and when I realized why I smiled.

“Means everything to me,” I sang the lyrics and John chuckled.

“I used to come here all the time back in high school,” he told me, his eyes getting a faraway look, “we used to sit from sunset to sunrise, just hanging out and having fun. We drank and sang and messed around. It never got old.”

“Sounds like paradise,” I murmured, knowing for myself how much seemingly meaningless places can end up influencing your life. At that, John looked down at me appreciatively.

“It was.”

He carried me to the far end of the lot and I gasped. The blacktop gave way to a cliff which looked over the town. In the dark, the lights made a stunning view and my face must have showed my awe because John laughed.

“That’s exactly how I reacted the first time my friends brought me here.”

He gently placed me on my feet and spread a blanket I hadn’t noticed he was carrying on the grass.

“What’s that for?” I asked.

“Well, I figured you might want to sit down,” he said and looked at me questioningly.

“Right.” I blushed and lowered myself onto it, John sitting next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and I sighed, watching the town below us.

“Thank you for bringing me here, it’s beautiful. I needed to get away from that damn hospital before I went crazy. I don’t know why but it makes me think of when Danny killed himself,” I said and John looked at me, understanding that his ears were all I needed.

“I think it’s because I kept screaming at my parents to call an ambulance. I was only eight and pretty sheltered so I didn’t completely realize what was happening,” I shifted my gaze up to John and noticed his eyes were glassy.

“I’m sorry for all the shit you’ve been forced to go through in your life, Sarah. It’s not fair that someone with such a good heart has to deal with all of that,” he said. I shook my head at him though.

“Don’t apologize, it’s ok. I mean, would I rather have my brother and parents alive? Hell yeah. But I also have come to realize that every struggle we are forced overcome and every tough decision we have to make is what shapes who we are. I am me because of my past, and I am here with you because of my past, too. It sucked getting here, but when it comes to where I am now, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

When I finished, John gave me a weird look and I shrugged.

“What?”

He reached out to touch my cheek before smiling.

“I think I could learn a lot from you.”

I felt myself blush again, but gave his hand a squeeze in thanks.

We sat quietly for a few more minutes before I turned back to him.

“Ok, you’re probably going to think this is the strangest thing ever but I don’t care. I really want to have a ‘Dear John’ moment right now, like the part when they’re sitting on the beach together,” I said and looked at him hopefully as he laughed at me.

“Uhmm what?” he asked while looking at me in amused confusion.

“Ya know, like on the movie poster when Savannah sits between his legs and they both stare out at the ocean. Plus, your name is John too, so it’s kinda like fate or something,” I said, causing him to laugh again. It was extremely attractive.

“Well, considering it’s a chick flick and all, I can honestly say I haven’t seen it, but if it makes you happy I will let you sit between my legs,” he said, his face turning slightly red.

I smiled and crawled between his legs as he spread them apart, scooting backwards until I was resting completely against him. He instinctively put his arms around my stomach and I tilted my head back to kiss his jaw.

I returned my attention to the scene in front of me but John didn’t. Instead, he began to kiss my neck, shifting my hair aside. I moaned softly and he moved his hands so they could grip my waist. The dress I was wearing had shifted up my thighs and when John saw just how far up, his eyes widened. He began to pull back but I twisted around and kissed him on the lips before he could completely. I could feel him smiling through the kiss.

When we stopped to breathe, he laid back on the blanket and I followed, resting my head on his chest. I loved the feeling of his long fingers combing through my hair.

“I love you, Sarah.”

“I love you too.”

I had just shifted above John to kiss him again when my phone rang. I paused, my hair dangling around his face. He sighed, letting go of me.

“You better get that, could be about Kyle.” I reluctantly nodded and picked up my phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey Sarah.” It was Zac.

“Hey, what’s up?” I knew something must have been going on if he was calling me this late.

“Well, I just thought I’d let you know that everything is all set up. I’m going to be coming on tour with you guys,” he said.

John looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and worry when he saw my jaw drop.