Something to Remember

SARAH:

“Son of a-”

I shot up out of bed and tried to get my bearings. My vision was still blurry from sleep, and the mane of hair tangled around my face was not helping at all. While trying to unbury my eyes and mouth so I could actually see and hopefully breathe, I realized there was a small stream of drool running down my chin. Gross.

It took me a moment to realize that the ringing that had woken me up was still blaring. Who the hell was calling me at, I squinted at my alarm clock, four o’clock in the morning? Fucking ridiculous. I flopped onto my stomach and reached for the phone, which was on the nightstand.

“Yes?” I practically growled through the speaker. I didn’t feel bad at all; it wasn’t my fault whoever it was had decided to call me at an ungodly hour. They couldn’t possibly have expected a heartfelt greeting.

“Well good morning to you too, sleeping beauty,” the male voice on the other end was way too chipper for my liking. I could practically hear his patronizing smirk. I wished I had checked the caller ID before I answered, then I might have known who to be mentally cursing.

“It’s four o’clock and I’d rather be sleeping. So bite me. Who is this?” I knew the voice sounded familiar but I was still too out of it to think straight.

“Your very own Prince Charming, who else would it be? Just tell me though, where are you right now?”

Ok, now I was getting freaked out.

“I’m in my bed like any other normal person would be at this time of day. Where are you and why are you asking where am I?”

The voice on the other end laughed.

“You really don’t know who this is?”

“No...” I didn’t understand where this conversation was going.

“Well, now at least it makes sense why you picked up.” The guy chuckled again and I felt my blood pressure rise.

“This is fun, really, I’m having a blast right now, but if that’s all then I think I will go back to sleep now.” I added a yawn to make my threat more convincing.

“Wait, I’m serious though. Where are you right now?” His teasing tone had vanished.

“Tell me who you are and I will consider giving you the answer to that question.”

“Just as stubborn as ever,” he said, although it sounded more like a personal note than something I was meant to hear. I heard him slowly inhale and then let out a sigh.

“You are currently speaking to John-”

The amount of colorful words that popped into my head in that moment was impressive.

“John! You piece of sh-“

“-Sarah stop! Just wait! Before you start freaking out or hang up, I need to tell you something first. Ok? You don’t even have to answer my question. All I need is for you to listen. Three minutes, and if you still want to curse me out or end the conversation, I will be satisfied just knowing I got to tell you what is on my mind. ”

I remained silent, but I didn’t hang up. I figured since he already woke me up, I might as well hear what was so important… And it certainly wasn’t because hearing his voice was sending my stomach into backflips or anything. That would just be stupid of me. Right.

After a few seconds of quiet, he let out a breath.

“Phew, I wasn’t sure you’d actually hear me out,” John chuckled uncomfortably and I got the feeling he was stalling. I was suddenly happy I didn’t hang up; this was going to be good.

“Well anyway, I, uh, well, ok. I’m just going to come out and say it… I’m still in love with you,” John must have heard my intake of breath because he paused for a moment and then hurried on.

“And I know you probably think I’m full of shit but I’m promise you, I’m not. When I told you
earlier that I left because I wasn’t good enough for you, I meant every word. I know now that I was just being stupid and that I had no right to decide what was best for you or keep the truth from you but I can’t change that now. Although, I can tell you without a doubt that if I could, I sure as hell would. For a while though, I thought that if I just disappeared from your life, it would be easier. For both of us. A clean break, so to speak. Later on, I realized how stupid that idea was, but by then I thought it was too late. I missed you so much it physically hurt and you were everywhere. I saw you wherever we went and when I closed my eyes, you were in my head too. There was no escape.”

I felt a tear escape down my cheek and I tried my best to keep my sniffles silent. I had wished for this moment for so long, I could barely believe it was finally happening. The gruffness in John’s voice gave away the difficulty he was having with this confession. It cut straight to my heart.

“That was when I got myself cleaned up. I stopped hanging out with those losers you hated and I committed myself to the music. I wrote and wrote. It was the only thing keeping me from crawling back to you on my hands and knees. There are more songs about us then you’d believe,” John scoffed at himself good-naturedly and then returned serious.

“When I saw you tonight, well I guess it was technically last night, I literally thought I was going to die. You looked even more beautiful than I had remembered and when you confronted me, it reminded me of the gutsy, free spirited girl I fell in love with. It was then that I could finally admit that you were still all I wanted. So I know I probably sound crazy right now, and I realize that we have a lot to catch up on, but I will give anything to prove my worth to you. I’m not letting you fall through my grasp again Sarah. Just tell me how, and I will make up every moment we lost.”

When John finally finished, I was literally at a loss for words. Hearing him admit such genuine devotion was more than I ever expected. To be honest, I was utterly confused. Every bone in my body screamed at me to forgive him and give him another chance, but my brain reminded me that what he did was not ever going to be ok.

“Sarah, please, say something. Your silence is killing me.” John pleaded with me. At that point, I had no idea what I was going to say, but I opened my mouth and started to speak anyway.

“John, no matter how much I have ever wished differently, I am and have always been completely in love with you... But I don’t know if we can ever be the same, or if I can ever trust you like I did when-”

Suddenly the door to my bedroom flung open.

“Sarah would you keep it down?! I am actually trying to sleep in the room RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. If I had known you were going to wake me up this early, I would have given you the couch.”

Ilise, my best friend, critiqued me from the doorway with one hand on her hip. It was ridiculous considering she was wearing only her underwear with bunny slippers on her feet and her hair was in a horrendous knot on top of her head.

On the phone, John jumped at the fact that my location was just given away.

“You’re at Ilise’s. I’m coming over now so we can talk in person. You told you love me, that’s all I needed to know. I’m going to make this right Sarah.” I could hear John moving around and knew he was probably almost to the car by now.

“Wait, no, John. You can’t!” But it was too late; the line had already gone dead. I gave a “WTF?” kind of look to Ilise and she raised an eyebrow at me.

“Don’t look at me like that, Sarah. This is not my fault. Besides, you look like complete crap right now. I’m sure once John takes one look at you, he’ll run for the hills.” Ilise shrugged casually as if she hadn’t just insulted me and started to haul her lazy ass back to her room.

As she trudged away, I threw my pillow at the back of her head.