Forever Never Lasts

The sound of wood scraping meets Jennifer's ears, as she slowly lets her eyes open. Sitting up in the bed, she stares at the back of a familiar man, donning a cut, sifting through one of her dresser drawers. "Excuse me?"

"Oh," Juice turns around, "you're awake."

She nods, feeling her temples throb, "I'm awake. And you’re going through my shit."

"I'm looking for your stash."

Jennifer nods, collapsing back onto her clean sheets and pillowcases. "Good luck with that."

"You're really good at hiding your shit. Like, maybe I could get a hint?"

Blinking slowly, Jennifer closes her eyes. "Nope."

"Okay, if that's how we're gonna be..."

"Just... go home, Juice."

"Listen, if I can't find this stash by three, Jax is gonna come here and find it himself."

Jennifer slowly opens one of her eyes, "let him."

Throwing his hands up gently, Juice shakes his head.



"You really just don't give a shit, do you?" Jax asks, storming into the bedroom.

Jennifer doesn't move.

"You've got a kid you need to be taking care of, Jennifer."

"Don't bring my kid into this, Jackson."

He scoffs, "this has everything to do with him, Jennifer! You can't drink and pop pills. You need to be sober, so you can take care of Gunner."

"You're not my father, Jax. So just stop."

Jax nods, "you're right, I'm not. I'm your brother. And Mom would be here giving you this lecture, but she's too busy taking care of the kid you abandoned!"

Jennifer sits up in the bed, speaking quietly. "I didn't abandon him."

"When was the last time you saw him?" Jax shakes his head with a shrug. "You don't remember, do you? You've been so stoned out of your mind for the past three months that you haven't even been in any condition to see your own child, let alone take care of him."

Jennifer glares at her brother. Her nostrils flare as her lips purse, "you have no idea what I'm going through."

"Honestly, Jen," he shrugs, "what you're going through... it doesn't matter. The thing that matters right now is Gunner."

Jennifer gasps for breath, "fuck you, Jax."

He rolls his eyes, "you can't live your life like this."

"You think I want to live like this?"

"You certainly haven't tried anything different."

She shakes her head, her eyes welling up with tears, "I am in so much pain, Jax. I can't even," she attempts to wipe the tears from her face; "I don't even know how to describe it. I don't know how to do anything without... him."

"You can't even say his name," Jax shakes his head before scoffing lightly. "Jesus Christ, Jenny."

She shakes her head, "I can't even imagine my life without him, Jax. Still."

He shakes his head, staring up at the ceiling. "He's dead, Jennifer."

She shakes her head, "he can't be. He and I have a son. Who's gonna help me raise our son?"

"You'll find someone... as soon you straighten this shit out."

She shakes her head, staring at her shaking hands before she moves to tuck her long locks behind her ears. "I don't need anyone else, Jax."

He slowly shakes his head, unable to look at the crying woman. After staring at the hardwood floor, he finally looks at Jennifer. Moving slowly around the bed, he leans onto the tall mattress and takes her face in his hands, "listen to me, Jen. Kozik is dead."

Jennifer sobs lightly, "why would you say something like that?!"

"Because I watched him blow up on that field!" Jax shouts, letting go of Jennifer’s wet, hot face.

Sobbing gently, Jennifer slumps down onto the bed.

His stomach tightens, causing him to run his hands through his hair. "Jen," he says quietly.

She gasps for air, placing her hands on her heaving chest. "I-I can't... I can't do... this."

Looking away quickly, Jax swallows the lump rising in his throat. "It's okay, Jen."

She screams, making the same noise she would if Jax were to snap one of her now twig-like legs.

Jax winces, "Jen."

Shaking her head, Jennifer kicks her legs and thrashes her arms. This movement causes the mattress to bounce.

Jax stares until her movement reduces to a heaving chest and a consistent flow of tears.

After a few moments, Jennifer slowly climbs off of the bed. Her baggy flannel pajama pants hang low on her bony hips and her tight, black tank top flaunts her skeletal shoulders.

Jax watches as she feels her way around to the other side of the king sized bed, before groping around her nightstand and pulling one of the four drawers open. As soon as the familiar clattering sound of pills meets his ears, Jax crosses the room and snatches the orange bottle before Jennifer can get it open.

"Stop!" She whines, grabbing for the pills.

"You don't need these, Jen." He stuffs the bottle in his pocket, grabbing for her other bottles. "These are the problem."

She desperately grasps at Jax’s pocket, “please, Jax. Just give me one and you can take the rest.”

“No,” he says sternly.

Forcefully pulling at the pocket of his jeans, Jennifer glares at her brother through the tears blurring her vision.

Jax’s hands move from his pockets to clench Jennifer’s thin upper arms. He speaks firmly when their faces are less than six inches apart. “You don’t need them, Jennifer.”

“I can’t do this by myself, Jax. Please.” Jennifer whispers.

“You’re not alone, Jen. I promise.” He shakes his head, slowly releasing her arms and tucking her hair behind her ears, “but I can’t let you take more of those pills.”

Her lips tremble lightly as her head bows, causing her hair to curtain her blotchy, tearstained face from her brother.

Jax leans around the frail woman, pulling the thick blanket back. “You need to lay down, Jenny.”

Not arguing, Jennifer uses the bed frame to lift herself onto the tall bed, before rolling into the middle of the bed.

“Try and sleep this shit off, okay?”

Jennifer slowly blinks, pressing the side of her face into the pillow.

“I’m gonna come check on you later, alright?”

The only response Jennifer gives her brother is another tearful blink.