Further Away

He was tall, clad in a gunmetal colored suit and silver tie. He reminded me of a fancy car. "Jenna, I'm Dr. Stevens. It's nice to meet you." He gave me the most genuine smile I'd seen in weeks. I had to smile back at him. "Tell me about why you think you're here today." He sat down behind his desk and looked at me expectantly.
"Well..." I started "My boyfriend dissappeared about a month ago. The police think he ran away."
"You think differently?" he asked
"Well, no... yes, I don't know. I don't think he would just up and leave me for no reason. He was just gone one day, and I keep getting these nightmares... it feels like he's dead.
"You think he's dead?"
"Maybe..." and the floodgates opened up spilling tears. He passed me a box of tissues. "I don't understand why he wouldn't come back to me."
"Did you have problems with your relationship?" he looked at me seriously.
"No, not really, I mean every couple argues now and then right? It doesn't mean someone should just up and run away without at least telling me."
"You're right, someone shouldn't just dissappear over an argument. Were you arguing a lot right before he left?"
"Just once, the night he disappeared. He was angry that I was going to a party, I told him if he wanted to control someone's life, he would have to find someone else. I overreacted, he just wanted to do something alone, with me." I sobbed through my words.
"Were the two of you physically involved? You don't have to answer if you're not ready for questions like that."
I looked at him for a moment before deciding to answer. "Yes, we were. We were talking about moving in together after my birthday. We were going to get married."
" I see..." he wrote something on his notepad. "Tell me about your nightmares."
"They're always really similar... He's sitting on the slide at the park down the street from my house. Thats where we would meet up back before my mom knew we were together. It's always sunset, and he always tells me to come up, I think he means onto the slide. Then he holds his hand out, and the ground disappears, and I'm falling down a deep pit, with skelletons buried in the walls. Usually I hit the bottom, and wake up... I always wake up on the floor."
"Sounds scary." he says dryly. I scoff slightly. "Well, Jenna it seems we are out of time. My best advice at this point is to visit your dream while you're awake. Go to the park at sunset, climb up on the slide and see how you feel. Take a notebook so you can remember, and tell me how it went next week. Until then I am going to give you some anti-depressants. They should help you cope." He handed me the perscription.
I stood up "Okay... Thanks." I shook his hand and walked out. My mother met me in the waiting room.
"How did it go? What did he say?" She battered me with her voice.
"Nothing mom, I have to come back next week. Got a perscription for some happy pills... He told me to go to the park." I waited for a reaction.
"Well, if he thinks it will help..." She hadn't let me go to the park since I started having the bad dreams.
We pulled up at home, and pills in hand, I went inside. The air conditioning was nice after being in the hot car all day. I went to my room and rumaged through my backpack for a notebook and pen, then fished in the fridge for a bottle of water. "Be back later, Mom." I called before closing the door behind me.
I could see the park from my front yard, I hesitated before beginning the walk I'd been longing to take for the past month. It was a short walk, but the heat had me breathless before I got there. I stopped in front of the path that led me to the playground. It was just a small park, with a little playground, and feild. It was surrounded by a small wood. I took a deep breath. It was like I expected him to be there, like I was waiting for his happy "Jenna!" It never came, and I was looking up at the slide before I knew it. I climbed up, and sat where we usually did. I found the place Matt had scratched "I love Jenna" into the plastic, and traced it with my finger, and cried. You never know just how sick of crying you can get, until you just can't stop.
The sun had sunk below the mountains in the distance, and dark was finally settling in on her. She pulled out the notebook and hurried to write everything she had felt in the last 2 hours before the light faded away completely. She picked up her things and headed down the slide and headed back the way she came. When she came to the sidewalk she turned around and looked to the top of the slide again, seeing it bare tugged at her heart and soul. "Why, Matt?" she felt her anger flare. "Why the hell did you leave me?!" she yelled.
As she turned to walk away, she saw movement in her peripheral vision. She looked toward the source, and saw a tall, lanky man standing against a tree not 10 feet away. Fear gripped my lungs, making me gasp. I heard the man chuckle, I just froze and stared.