Troubled Youth

Friends with benefits will never work. It can’t. Never in the history of male and female relations has anyone made it out of this kind of relationship without a scar, without pain. And if they did make it out it was because they ended up together.
Those were the things Jared and Ella heard over and over from their friends once it was out what they were doing. She thought it funny that friends had labeled their relationship as ‘friends with benefits’ when in reality they’d only had sex twice. Sure it was nice but it wasn’t like they had set rules or boundaries for themselves. That’s where things went wrong in those relationships.
Ella wasn’t interested in anything but what she was getting from Jared. She made it quite clear to him that she didn’t want to date and she didn’t care if they ended up in bed or not. He was fine with this not wanting a relationship from her either. Ella saw it as just a thing that had happened and few times and wouldn’t object if it did again. He was alright in bed after all, why should they stop?
Aside from their what some may have considered an irregular relationship, Ella spent a lot of time in Jared’s apartment letting him paint her for practice. She was satisfied that he could correctly depict her chest now that he’d spent the last month an a half studying it.
Once or twice Ella had gotten Jared to strip down and she painted him. It had been quite the fight to get him to take his briefs off. He didn’t want to sit around naked while she painted him because he’d never done that before; he was nervous. She had to trick him into it the first time.
“Come on Jared, it’s simple. I’ve seen you naked now. Just lie on your bed and I’ll be done in a couple hours.”
“No. I... I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“It’s weird.”
“But it’s not weird when I come in here and start stripping before you even shut the door?”
“Not my fault you’re an exhibitionist.”
“Learn to be one Jared. Let people know you’re a freak.”
“I’m not though.”
Ella rolled her eyes. “Not yet, but I’ll make you one.”
She stepped up to him hooking her fingertips into the waistband of his white briefs. Her lips made contact with his collarbone. He closed his eyes trying not to feel the way she was touching him. She started doing this and he became putty, he’d never really had anyone touch him like she did.
“Come on.” She purred against his neck. “It’s easy.”
“Ella.”
“Jared.” She tugged on his ear with her teeth. “I’ll reward you.”
Already she had started to pull his briefs down. His hands had moved to her hips, fingertips sliding under her shirt. She smiled knowing she had him right where she wanted him. With her lips to his neck she managed his briefs down far enough that they fell to the floor on their own. His hand snaked up the back of her shirt searching for her bra clasp.
“No Jared.” She reached behind herself and gently drew his hand from her shirt. “Not yet.”
“But...”
“I said I would reward you if you did this for me. Rewards come after.” She kissed his jaw line. “It won’t be so bad. Take a nap and I’ll wake you up when I’m done.”
“I don’t want to wait.” He said as his other arm went behind her back towards the bra clasp.
“Don’t make me do something you won’t like.”
“What will you do?” He smiled bending his neck to kiss her lips. “What could you do that I wouldn’t like.”
“I’ll strip down...” She paused watching the sleepy looking smile on his face.
“I’d like that.”
“I wouldn’t let you touch me...”
“I could handle it.”
“I’d make you get on your bed and punish you if you moved...”
“I can be still.”
“I’d leave you there alone while I painted you from across the room. All you would be able to do is look at me, naked and analyzing you. Analyzing every part of you until you couldn’t take it anymore. Until you begged me to climb onto that bed with you.” She kissed his lips and then bit down on the bottom tugging before her last sentence. “Until you begged me to take you.”
“You are so much trouble.” He pushed his lips to hers again.
She gently pushed on his chest, his skin burned where she touched him. Ella knew she might have overdone it a little but he backed off. He looked at her for a moment tucking some hair behind her ear, running a finger along her jaw to slightly lift her chin, before he turned and crawled onto his bed. She asked him to move a few things until he was in a position she liked before sitting down to start painting.
He was aware that Ella did not sketch out what she was going to do first. She just looked at him determining two base colors before covering her canvas in them. Then she’d start looking for large shadow shapes filling them in with darker or complementary colors. Everything had a very geometric look to it for a while as she worked.
Slowly as she worked the straight lines and angles turned to rounded corner and soft curves. She would bite her bottom lip and squint her eyes when she was looking for detail. Jared couldn’t help but love that expression. Every time she looked at him like that he knew she wasn’t seeing him, just the light and shadow that made up what she was seeing, but he couldn’t help but want her to always look at him like that.
“Quit biting your lip.” She said to him.
“What?”
“You were biting your lip. I’m working on your face. Stop it.”
Jared hadn’t realized what he was doing. He apologized but she didn’t hear him. Ella was only looking at the shadow shapes his brow made over his eyes, the shadow cast by his nose. That was enough to take her out of the world and into her own. She probably wouldn’t have even realized it if someone walked into the room. Jared didn’t his best not to move his head, he shifted his eyes around the room for a while but eventually just closed them thinking it would be better for him to just take a nap.
Ella hardly noticed he’d fallen asleep until she was doing the final details. It had been a little longer than she thought it would take her but her perfectionism was kicking in and she wouldn’t stop messing with it. She was adding a few highlights into his hair when she noticed him twitch. Realizing he was in a pretty deep sleep she set her brushes down and stood back from the painting. Deciding she was done she quietly went into the other room to wash out her brushes and then came back to clean up her work space.
Jared stayed asleep the whole time she was moving around the room. He was a heavy sleeper so when she dropped something on the floor with a rather loud noise he stayed sleeping. She finished cleaning up and placed the canvas up on his desk so it was out of the way to dry. Then she started to keep the promise she’d made to him earlier.
Quickly she tugged her shirt off and tossed it on the chair sitting in front of his desk. She wiggled out of the pajama bottoms she was wearing and did the same with them as she had done with her shirt. Slipping into the bathroom to take half a second so she could remove the rubber band from her hair she turned a few times looking at her body in underwear. She shed her bra and panties. With a quick turn again to check herself out she spotted some paint on her arms and on her neck. She washed that off and then went back into Jared’s room.
When she crawled onto his bed he didn’t stir. She used two fingers to walk up his chest, his muscles flinched under her touch but he didn’t wake. Ella laid her body down against his side and started kissing his chest. Her hand ran down his side enjoying the softness of his skin. He licked his bottom lip in his sleep.
She moved upwards kissing his neck and jawline. He started to stir more, his arm moving to wrap around her back. Ella climbed on top of him tugging on his ear with her teeth. She knew he woke up when his breathing changed.
For a moment Jared was confused. He didn’t know what the weight was moving on top of him and he tensed. Then he realized it was Ella and she was tugging his ear with her teeth. His hands went to the smallest part of her waist resting there letting her kiss him as long as she felt like it. She pushed his chin away from her giving herself more room to explore. The fingertips on her left hand ran along his collarbone while her right hand slid down his side again.
Jared looked at his desk to see the painting she’d done of him. He smiled not wanting to say anything because he had just woken up and because he didn’t want to break her actions. He closed his eyes again letting his hands slide down to her hips, she slid lower kissing his right collarbone. She could feel what she was doing to him, half ready against her thigh.
She grabbed the wrist of one of his arms and pulled it up so that his hand rested on her breast. Leaving it there to go back to his side he realized what she wanted starting to massage. He got the feeling she was giving him a moment to wake up because the last two times they’d done this she didn’t take so much time kissing him. All of it felt better than the last time they’d done this so he let her continue waking up as slowly as he could.
Ella slid the hand on his side down to grab him. He wasn’t waking up fast enough for her and she was getting bored of waiting. His knees rose a little when she gave him a tug and a tiny gasp came from his throat. She kissed his adams apple before looking into his eyes, her hand still in place.
“Are you awake yet?” She asked kissing his top lip.
His mouth opened at her touch, he exhaled against her skin. “Getting there.”
She pushed her mouth to his slipping her tongue in. Her hand still working until he was hard against her. Jared reached over to his bedside table and she sat up so he could move. He pulled a condom out and opened the package with his teeth. She watched him slip it on waiting for him to look back at her, to give her permission. He returned his hands to her hips pushing her up to her knees and bringing her forward. He guided himself into her closing his eyes with a groan.
Slowly Ella started working. He tightened his grip on her hips using his strength to direct her. She put her hands on his shoulders leaning forward changing the way she was moving, her speed. He bit his bottom lip and looked up at her.
“Tell me what you want.” She said.
“Harder, faster.”
“You’ll have a better imagination than that when I’m done with you.” She leaned down to kiss him before doing as he’d asked.
Jared didn’t last much longer. He stiffened closing his eyes and pushing his head back into the pillows as he moaned. Ella braced her hands against the wall still trying to get herself off.
“What can I do?” He asked her.
“Use your hand.” She gasped because before she’d finished speaking his fingers were rubbing against her. “God.”
He watched her face, eyes shut tight and her jaw set hard. He knew she was getting there from the way she was panting. He rubbed her faster, pressed harder. She groaned his name feeling the pressure build. He was biting his bottom lip feeling himself start again. This was new, he hadn’t had this happen to him before. In a matter of seconds he felt himself going over the edge again as she tightened around him doing the same. This time he knew he’d done better than the last two.
Ella rose up on her knees and moved to his side sitting with her back against the wall. Jared got up from the bed to go into the bathroom. She took a deep breath pushing her hair back, the cool air of the room hitting her skin causing goosebumps. That was good, she needed a cigarette.
When Jared came back she was dressed and digging through her backpack. He grabbed his jeans tugging them on not bothering with his underwear. She found her cigarettes and a lighter. Ella straightened up and put a cigarette in her mouth.
“Don’t smoke in here. Robert hates it.” Jared said.
“Want one?” She asked offering him the pack.
“Yeah. Let’s go outside though.”
She tossed him the pack and headed for the front door. Jared followed putting one between his lips and grabbing his keys. Ella was already outside lighting her cigarette. She passed him the lighter as they walked along the outside hallway of sorts to the stairs. They sat down a few steps from the top and smoked not saying a word.
Ella put hers out on the step and left the butt there to stare over where the sun had sunk behind another apartment building. Jared watched her for a moment exhaling smoke and scratching at his arm. The light wind was brushing across his chest reminding him he didn’t have a shirt on. He handed her the pack of cigarettes.
“You leaving after this?”
“Yeah.” She said looking back at him. “Got shit to do.”
Jared nodded.
“And you have homework you need to do.” She smirked. “I saw the pile on your desk.”
“Don’t have to do it.”
“Yes you do.”
“What are you, my mother?”
“No, but if you fail I’ll leave you behind.” She said looking back towards the sun.
Jared crushed out his cigarette. The light was fading and he was hungry. Ella stretched out one leg at a time before standing up. Jared followed suit standing as she did. She looked out into the parking lot where a car came to a stop and someone got out. The car drove off leaving the person behind. She didn’t recognize him so she turned her eyes back to Jared.
He wasn’t looking at her. He was staring at the person in the parking lot as well but he had a huge grin on his face. Evidently Jared knew who that was. Ella leaned against the handrail and pulled out another cigarette, the flame from the lighter illuminating her face for a moment. Jared had already gone down the stairs.
“Shannon!” She heard his voice call out.
The two hugged and laughed about something before heading back towards the stairs. Jared motioned to Ella and the other looked up at her. Jared paused on the same step she was standing on, Shannon a step down.
“This is my friend Ella.” Jared said motioning to her again. “She’s a painter too.”
“Oh, cool. I’m Shannon.” He said holding out his hand with a smile.
“Nice to meet you.” She offered him the pack of cigarettes rather than shaking his hand.
Not missing a beat Shannon took one and asked for a light. She handed him the lighter and watched as he never took his eyes off hers from the second he put the cigarette to his lips to the last moment of exhaling the first cloud of smoke.
Jared looked between the two having a stare down and rolled his eyes. He knew what Shannon was doing. His older brother couldn’t help himself when he saw a pretty girl. He’d get that steady stare going and then he’d stand close to her. He’d keep putting on his moves until she was in bed with him. Jared hoped he’d at least have a hard time getting Ella there. He knew he couldn’t stop her if she wanted to but he’d rather she didn’t. That was his first mistake, not wanting her to sleep with anyone else but him.
“So Mom wants to know if you’ve decided to come home for Christmas?” Shannon asked finally looking at his brother.
Ella realized they were related. She looked at Shannon’s face starting to analyze it. She noted the small features the two of them shared and nodded to herself. It made sense. She’d heard him on the phone with his mother a few days ago talking about his brother, he’d just never said Shannon’s name.
“Yeah, I guess. Nothing keeping me here.” Jared sighed.
“She wants me home too but I don’t really want to go back. I just wanna explore. I don’t want to go to college and I don’t want to be home.”
“Sounds like fun.” Ella said bringing Shannon’s attention back to her.
“You could come with me if you like.” He grinned tucking some of his hair behind his ear. “Might be more fun.”
“Less lonely.” She took a drag. “For sure.”
“What’s stopping you then?”
Ella shrugged. “Not bored enough here yet I guess.”
“Ella, what are you doing for break?” Jared said breaking the tension that had pulled its way between his older brother and newest friend.
“Hanging out here. Working.” She shrugged turning her eyes to Jared.
“Not going home?” Shannon asked.
Ella laughed.
Shannon looked at Jared and then back at her. She offered him no explanation to the laugh. Jared stood awkwardly before Ella put her foot on the next step up and headed for his door. Shannon flicked out his cigarette and followed her. Jared went to pull out his keys but found he didn’t have them. When he looked up he saw Ella opening his door, she had lifted the keys off him as she’d walked away and he hadn’t even noticed.
She grabbed her bag and the painting she’d done earlier from Jared’s room before heading towards the door again. Shannon watched her with interest as she shouldered the bag. The painting was turned away from the two boys. Whether by design or it just happened that way, Jared was happy he didn’t have to explain the painting to his older brother. He’d never hear the end of it from Shannon.
“Leaving?” Shannon asked as her hand hit the door handle.
“I have work in the morning.”
Shannon waited until the door was closed before he turned to his little brother. “She’s cute.”
“No Shannon.” Jared shook his head turning away from his brother to head for the kitchen.
“What? I can’t say one of your friends is cute?”
“Remember when we made a deal not to fuck each other’s friends?”
“Yeah, and then you fucked Christine in high school. I remember.”
Jared shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. You’ll do what you want.”
“Do you like her?” Shannon asked sneaking up behind Jared.
“No.”
“You sure? You seem like you’re protecting her.”
“I don’t Shan. Drop it.”
“Fine. She’s still cute.”
“How long are you staying?” Jared switched subjects. That always worked with Shannon.
“Dunno. I’ll go home for Christmas with you I guess. Probably come back out and stay for a while if that’s cool.”
“Fine. Wanna get something to eat?”
“Any good pizza places around?”

Shannon stayed with Jared for the remainder of the semester. Occasionally Shannon would go out on his own and that’s when Ella would come over, take her clothes off, let Jared paint -or sometimes draw- her, and then drag him into bed after.
If you would have asked Jared and he was honest he would have said she opened up a world to him. Sure he’d had sex before but it hadn’t been like it was now. She’d started telling him what to do, how to move and it was better. He’d even started asking her to do things, experimenting with other positions. Sex in the shower was new to him, sex against a wall was exciting.
Robert would look at the two of them coming out of his room with disheveled hair and sweaty faces and shake his head. He thought they were going to hit a rough spot and end up not friends but they didn’t listen to him. It was too much fun doing what everyone was telling them not to.
Shannon kind of picked up on what was going on with his younger brother and Ella. That didn’t stop him from hitting on her. He couldn’t help it. She was pretty and she was there. She would play with him, flirt back, but then act like he didn’t exist. He didn’t know he was being played. Jared saw it because he was an outsider but Shannon was blind. She was hard to get and that made her more desirable.
Jared was bothered by Shannon’s flirting and Ella’s sometimes interest. He’d thought about asking her what she was doing with Shannon, if she ever intended to do more than flirt with him, but decided against it. He wasn’t interested in dating her so why should he care if she wanted to play with his older brother?
Still, it was that feeling of he got there first and he should have her not Shannon. He couldn’t help but feel a little pang of jealousy when he watched Shannon toss his arm around Ella’s shoulders and she didn’t shrug him off. She would raise her hand and hold onto his wrist for a long time. Jared tried not to look at it too much, he didn’t know what was going on with his head and he didn’t like it.
One day Shannon walked into Jared’s room after going out to lunch with a friend who was passing through the town to find Ella sitting in Jared’s desk chair topless and Jared sitting on his bed with a sketchbook in hand. Ella didn’t even flinch when Shannon came in and sat down on the bed next to Jared.
“Whatcha doin’ little bro?”
“Drawing.” Jared mumbled scrubbing his pencil along the page.
“Why’s she topless?” Shannon asked looking up at Ella.
“Because I wanted to be.” Ella sighed. “He wouldn’t let me take my pants off.”
“Oh? And why not?” Shannon elbowed Jared.
“He was afraid you would walk in.”
Shannon smiled at the smirk she gave him. “I wouldn’t mind.”
“See Jared, told you.”
Jared shook his head, rolled his eyes and closed his sketchbook. He set it down mumbled that he had to take a piss and left the room. Shannon laid on his side and reached for the sketchbook Jared had tossed. Ella reached for her shirt and tugged it on over her head. Shannon tossed her the bra that had been sitting on Jared’s pillows.
“Why was that up there?” He asked watching as she did the clasp and pulled the bra under her shirt.
“Because that’s where he left it.”
“You let him take it off you? Didn’t know he knew how.” Shannon smirked.
“Oh please Shan.” Ella rolled her eyes. “You know we’re fucking.”
Shannon shrugged. “Doesn’t mean he takes your clothes off. These are nice.”
Ella got up from the chair and laid on the bed next to Shannon to see what he was looking at. He slipped his hand under her shirt and started rubbing her back as he flipped pages with his other hand. After a moment he took his hand back out and rested it on her ass.
“This isn’t his.” Shannon said stopping on the painting Ella had done in Jared’s book. “Unless he paints himself.”
“No, I did that.”
“Why’s he got his pants on still?”
“Put your hand back in my shirt.” She said moving closer. “He wouldn’t take them off.”
Shannon listened sliding his hand back under the fabric. Jared walked in from the bathroom and saw Shannon rubbing her back. He bit down hard and walked to the other side of the bed so he was in front of them. He took the sketchbook from Shannon’s hands and closed it before tossing it into his desk drawer and suggesting they go outside for a smoke.
“Sure, sounds good.” Ella said getting up and heading out of the room.
She sensed something else was going on with Jared and wanted to give him a chance alone with Shannon if he needed it. Shannon looked at Jared wondering what was with the stare his little brother was giving him but when nothing was said between the two Shannon got up and followed Ella.
Already on the stairs with a cigarette in between her fingers and smoke curling around her face Shannon sat down next to Ella. He took the cigarette from her hand and took a drag. She didn’t mind and took it back when he offered it. He looked over his shoulder but there was no sign of his little brother.
“I don’t think Jared likes me hanging out with you.” Shannon said watching her take another drag.
“So what? He has no right to like it or not. We’re not together.”
“But I think he likes you.”
“Yet your hand is on my thigh.” She smirked at him. “Doesn’t bother you too much.”
“You’re still climbing into his bed.”
“Or his shower.” She shrugged. “What’s that supposed to mean.”
“I don’t think he’s built for that kind of a relationship. I don’t think he’ll be able to have you but not have you.”
“What are you saying Shan?”
“You should stop fucking him.” He took her cigarette and pulled a long drag from it. “You should hang out with me instead.”
“And you want a relationship? Is that it?”
“Wouldn’t mind it. You’re pretty cool.” He shrugged.
“No.” Ella shook her head. “No.”
“Why not?” He almost sounded offended.
“Because you just shrugged it off like it didn’t matter either way. The only chance you’ll have of getting me into bed is if you can come up with a good enough reason to get me to stop getting into his. Jared and I are friends. We’ll never be anything else. I don’t want relationship shit from him. He’s fun and that’s all but I’m not a slut. I won’t fuck the two of you; especially since you’re brothers. I don’t want to start a feud if what you’re saying about him is true.”
Shannon exhaled. “I’ve got a reason.”
“What’s that.”
“Get in my bed and I’ll show it to you.”
“You sleep on the couch.”
“Get on my couch.”
“Jared’s couch.”
“Have you two... on the couch?”
“Would it matter?” She asked taking the cigarette back.
“No.”
There was the sound of a door opening. Shannon took his hand from Ella’s thigh and reached for his own cigarettes. Jared sat on the other side of Ella, cigarette already in his mouth. Ella got up without warning and started down the stairs.
“Where are you going?” Jared asked after her.
“Home. See you next semester.”
“I’m not leaving until tomorrow night.”
“I’m not coming back to see you until next semester.” She called over her shoulder.
Jared got up from the stair he was sitting on and jogged down to catch up with her. Shannon pulled one leg up a stair and leaned forward resting his forearm on it watching them. He wondered what Jared was doing.
“Come see me tomorrow before I leave.” Jared said once he was walking next to her. “I want to see you.”
“You want me in your bed.” She smiled.
“I want a goodbye.”
“It’s a month Jared. Leave something to look forward to when you come back.”
“Ella, wait.” He grabbed her elbow and stopped her walking.
They were far enough away that Shannon couldn’t hear them anymore but he could still see them fine. He didn’t know what Jared said but Ella shook her head and stepped back from him. She put her hands up and they looked like they were arguing. After a moment she put her hands on either side of Jared’s face and stopped him talking. Shannon took another drag as he watched them do what looked like staring at one another. She leaned in and Shannon couldn’t tell if she kissed him on the lips or the cheek but she left him standing there after that heading for home.
Jared came back and sat next to Shannon without a word. The two brothers smoked for a while, neither talking about what just happened before they went back inside. Shannon could see Jared was lost in his thoughts so he didn’t make a sound. When Jared left the room Shannon flipped on the TV and turned the volume down low. Robert came out to sit with Shannon and ask what happened with Jared. Shannon only shrugged and Robert left it at that.
Jared was in his room lying on his bed thinking about the tiny argument he’d just had with Ella. How she’d ended it so quickly and how she was right. He kicked at his sheets and roughly pulled a pillow down to curl it into his chest.
He replayed all the words in his mind, eyes closed watching it happen again.
“Ella wait.” He reached out and grabbed her elbow.
She stopped and turned towards him, eyebrows raised.
“Be careful with Shannon.”
She crossed her arms over her chest waiting for him to explain what he meant.
“He’s not... Shannon just wants to get you in bed with him. That’s all.”
“What, and you don’t? What have we been doing the last two months Jared?” She uncrossed her arms raising them as she stepped back from him.
“That’s different.”
“How could it be any different? You want me in your bed for the sake of having someone there. I’m just as guilty.”
“But I care about you.” He instantly regretted saying that out loud as she watched the change in her face.
“You can’t say that.” She shook her head. “You are doing nothing different than he would.”
“Ella, I didn’t mean it like tha-” She had put her hands on either side of his face and he stopped talking.
“I don’t care Jared. I don’t care how you meant it, I don’t want to know. Go home, find another girl to sleep with a few times, then come back here and stop acting like an idiot.” She kissed his cheek. “See you next semester in class.”
“Yeah, see ya.” Jared sighed helplessly as he watched her walk away.
When Jared opened his eyes again he was back in his room. Ella’s face was gone. He remembered Shannon still in the other room. Jared pushed up from the bed and went to sit next to his brother and Robert until late in the night when they crawled into their respective sleeping places.