Troubled Youth

It seemed like every time Jared was home from a short break on tour he and Ella had the same argument. He brought up them being together again and she wouldn’t have it. He couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t give it another shot and the frustration always made him a bit more angry than he would have liked to be. It just was so hard to properly channel his emotions when she was around because he wanted so badly to be with her.
Ella usually ran away whenever the conversation started to get too deep into why they couldn’t be together. She felt like she’d said the reasons why enough times that he should know. Ella wasn’t good with confrontations, especially when emotions were high like Jared’s were.
She always ended up at Tomo’s with him and Vicki taking care of her. They’d usually give her a place to sleep for the night and then a day or two later she’d go back to the house where she’d lay down in the guest bedroom and wait for Jared to come find her. They’d apologize and promise not to get into the conversation again but it happened every time.
Jared just couldn’t keep his mouth shut and enjoy her company. The first few days he’d be home they would pretty much be inseparable. They would hold hands and steal kisses. Their giggling could be heard late into the night from all areas of the house. Sometimes they’d find themselves wound up in the sheets. If a Sunday fell before they had the same conversation they would climb into the bath just like they had the first time in New York on Valentine’s Day that Jared suggested become a thing.
Then they’d have their little fight and go separate ways for a few days. Ella would refuse to mention either Jared or Shannon and spend time doing retail therapy with Vicki. Buying things always seemed to make everything a little better. Jared would usually come home after the fight and kick stuff around the backyard. If it was particularly bad he sometimes broke things. Then he’d come back into the house and lay in his bed staring out the window thinking. Shannon would worry but that was all he could do. Jared would mope around the house and check the spare bedroom every few hours until he found Ella there.
It was starting to turn into this sad, stressful cycle that everyone went through when a break in tour came. Tomo would pretty much wait around for Ella’s call to pick her up. He’d worry about what kind of mental state she’d be in. Most of the time she was silent and only a few tears escaped. Tomo would know when it was a bad fight that hit them both hard because she’d get into the backseat and sob. That was when he’d get Vicki to calm her down. Vicki was better at it than he was. Tomo would just call over to Jared and Shannon’s to see what Jared was doing or if he was even back. Shannon would tell him what was up and keep Tomo updated. They’d developed a somewhat code language in case Jared were in the room and they didn’t want him to know Tomow was on the phone.
Jared wasn’t stupid though. He knew when Tomo was calling to find out what was going on with their end. He just ignored it and tried not to think that Tomo was closer to Ella than he was. It only made him regret bringing up the subject of being together. It made him regret hurting her. He knew that’s what he was doing, hurting her.
Sure he was hurt each time by the conversation as well but he knew she was probably hurt more. Jared always knew what she’d say, he always knew her reasons, and he was never surprised. Ella had to watch his face and see how much more defeated he was each time he brought it up. The last couple times he was close to tears and even closer to begging her for a second shot. It hurt her to have to say no to him and he knew it wasn’t fair of him to ask so often but he couldn’t just not fight. He couldn’t just let her get away.
Here and there on tour Jared would pick up a girlfriend. He hoped it would change the way Ella thought but it never worked. He had usually broken up with whoever it was that he’d been dating before he got home just because he knew Ella would be there, he knew he’d get a few stolen kisses from her before it all went bad. If he were honest that’s what he lived for. Those precious few days between tours when he could touch her again, when she was almost his again.

There were happy moments that balanced out the stressful and the sad. Mostly they happened on tour after Jared had been apart from Ella and she came to visit. The two were more like oil and water than ever but every once in awhile they had beautiful moments together.
Ella came out for a weekend when they passed through Los Angeles one time. Everyone on tour knew their history and what happened when they were together so the days leading up to it they were all on edge. Jared seemed to be the only one really excited about the three days he’d have with her.
While Shannon loved having Ella around and missed her while he was gone, he felt it wasn’t a good idea to bring her out. Still Jared was the kind of person to get what he wanted and when he wanted her there for a weekend he fought to get her to agree and fought to get everyone else to agree. He just knew they’d have a great time though everyone was skeptical. They had tried their best to keep the bus a stress free environment. It was the home of ten people and no one liked getting in disagreements in a small enclosed area with nowhere to escape.
The day of the date in Los Angeles they arrived a little early. Ella came up as soon as Jared texted her to say they’d be there in twenty minutes. She met him at the venue and he got into her car. While she was driving away from the venue he was scrolling through his Blackberry and she reached over to take it from him. He protested but she said he’d could have it back later as she slipped it into her pocket. He felt like he’d been bad at school.
Two hours they were gone. Those two hours Shannon and Tomo were stressed out. They figured the longer they were gone the better sign that Jared and Ella hadn’t gotten into a fight. However that just meant the fight would come later. The third possibility was something Shannon had only half joked about. He’d said maybe they’d killed each other and they would find them in ditches on opposite sides of the road.
While it was a joke everyone had seen or heard about the few fights that Jared and Ella had really gotten into. There was never a sign that one of them would touch the other but the volume they could achieve with their voices was shocking. No one would have ever guessed from Ella’s size that she could get just as loud as Jared but she held her own. Only twice had they ever gotten into a fight like that and they were patched up far quicker than any of the others. Strange but at the same time it was probably because they both felt so bad about the way they’d treated one another that they made up for it that much quicker.
This weekend would be nothing like that. The two of them came back all smiles and holding hands. Shannon pretended to fall off his drum riser when he saw them and shouted that they were both still alive. Jared told him to can it and Shannon left it alone.
Everyone was able to relax a little knowing that so long as they were around other people it was less likely they would get into a fight. Sound check came and went. Jared kept looking over at Ella and giving her nods and winks. She would shake her head and give him the finger in return which only prompted him to walk over still singing into his mic and pull her close to kiss her in the moments he should have been taking a breath.
With sound check over it was almost like a team effort to make sure Jared and Ella were never left alone until the show started. Emma was really the only one who stayed out of it. She figured that was a relationship which had been going on a lot longer than she’d known either of them and they could deal with it on their own. The one thing she didn’t have to deal with was Jared’s love life and she wasn’t about to start then. Shannon asked her about it one time and she laughed saying there wasn’t enough money in the world for Jared to pay her so she would deal with his and Ella’s relationship.
Before the show started Ella painted a white stripe across Jared’s nose. He’d sat her on the counter in the bus and stood between her knees with his hands resting on her thighs as she painted. Most of the time his eyes were closed because she would laugh if he stared at her for too long but occasionally he’d look at her and she’d lean in for a kiss. That was one of the longer times it took Jared to get ready for a show.
The rest of that night was fine. The show went off with only a few minor problems that the crowd would never have noticed and then they were all back on the bus. There wasn’t much time to meet people after the show so the guys only were out for twenty minutes before they were hearded back to the bus and headed for the next city.
Ella slept in Jared’s bunk with him. They played for a little having missed one another and their stupid little kissing games they’d made up. Their giggles, while they tried to keep them quiet, still kept a few people up. It was cute and heartwarming to know they were getting along but some people just wanted to sleep. Shannon eventually threw something at Jared’s curtain and told them to go to sleep. They laughed a little as if they were children being scolded by an adult and told to sleep before they were silent. Jared laid awake kissing her face for a while and staring into her eyes before his lids started to droop and he fell asleep. Ella’s hand had been threaded through his hair rubbing his scalp -which may have had something to do with him falling asleep- and closed her eyes to follow after him.
The second day was beautiful and didn’t have a problem. Jared and Ella were inseparable again so much so that someone said while they were sleeping their hands must have been glued together. There were a few things Jared had to work on while Ella was there but he just sat her in his lap and put the laptop on her legs with his arms around her sides as he worked away. Occasionally when he wasn’t so focused he’d turn his head and kiss her neck but that wasn’t so often.
The show went nicely and they had more time to spend outside with fans. Jared however cut out early because he knew the bus would be empty. He grabbed Ella and led her onto the bus to close and lock the door behind him. The lock didn’t matter so much because other people had keys or knew the code to get in but it was just a precaution.
He took her into the back and they laid out as best they could kissing on the couch. There was no playing around to where Jared was going and didn’t waste time peeling her clothes off. Ella caught the same idea wasting not a second getting him the same as he had done to her. A few people may have come on the bus only to step right off when they heard Jared and Ella.
The third day was only sad because it was their last day together. It was much the same as the first two but everyone was relaxed. They were sure nothing would go wrong now that Ella only had a few hours. There was no way they’d mess that up with a fight.

The second time Ella came out for a few days on tour it was for Tomo and Vicki’s wedding. They had been planning this for months and didn’t want to wait for Tomo’s tour schedule to clear up so they found a few days within that they could get married. They were in Hungary when Ella met up with them. She got in late and missed the show but there was a little party afterwards she was able to make it for.
Then it was travel time from Hungary to Greece where the wedding was taking place. They flew to Greece while the busses they were traveling on would drive there. They needed to be there sooner so they could prepare for the wedding.
Since they didn’t have the busses they stayed in a hotel quite close to where the wedding was to take place. The first day there was a party. There wasn’t any other way to describe it. The happiness and joy from the impending wedding was affecting everyone. They went out in a huge group exploring their surroundings and just taking time to relax from the repetition of touring.
Tomo’s bachelor party was that first night. All the guys went out leaving the girls to go up into Vicki’s room and hang out. Vicki put on her wedding dress because most of them hadn’t seen it after her final fitting. She looked absolutely stunning in her white lace dress. She showed them pictures of how she was going to do her hair and makeup. It was a night that turned even the least girly of the group into stereotypical women.
The boys were a little more rowdy. They took Tomo to bars and bought him drinks. Some places even gave him drinks for free when they found out he was getting married in a few days time. Tomo, a normally happy and laughing person, was even more so when he was drunk. He got louder and laughed harder at the smallest things. They got him to dance a few times which resulted in him stumbling about and having to be caught before he fell over.
There were no strippers or lap dances though Shannon almost got one despite Tomo’s request to leave them out of it. Shannon thought if he were getting married he’d want a stripper at his bachelor party but he respected Tomo’s wishes and held off. However, that didn’t stop Shannon from getting a lap dance for himself.
Their night ended late, or early in the morning. Jared and Tim, their touring bassist, helped get Tomo back up to his room. Vicki had been expecting them to bring him back drunk and was waiting up for them. All the girls had left her room around one in the morning so Tomo didn’t have an audience. Vicki, Jared, and Tim got Tomo into bed and then the two guys left. Tim went one way down the hall and Jared went the other.
Jared slipped into his hotel room quietly because he expected Ella to be asleep. He went into the bathroom and closed the door before turning on the lights. He stumbled a bit because he’d had a few too many drinks but he didn’t think he had made that much noise. When he looked up in the mirror after washing his face he saw Ella standing in the doorway smiling at him.
“Hey.” He grinned turning around. “You should be sleeping.”
He took a step towards her but the floor felt like it had moved and he started to go sideways.
“I think you need to go to bed more than I do.” She said catching him and holding his shoulders so he would stay upright.
“Not unless you go with me.” He smirked leaning down to push his lips to hers.
She could taste the alcohol on his breath but still let him very sloppily kiss her for a moment. She kind of liked it when he was drunk and tried to be seductive.
“Okay, come on.” She pulled back but he put his arms around her and pulled her closer.
“Nope.”
“Jared.”
He leaned in to kiss her again.
“J.”
“Mmm, I like that.” He spoke without lifting his lips from hers.
“You need to go to bed.”
“I don’t wanna.” He sighed biting at her earlobe but missing. “You can’t make me.”
“You are such a five year old.” She sighed starting to pull him towards the bedroom.
Jared tripped a little but she still had a firm grip on his shoulders so she stopped him from falling over. Ella thought this would have been way more fun in the both of them were drunk. She got Jared into the bed and started to pull his jeans off. He leered up at her thinking something else was going on. She just pushed his hands away and set his jeans on a chair in the room. He tried to help her get his jacket off but that only made things harder. Ella tried to take his shirt off but he stopped her saying he wanted to sleep with it on. He usually did sleep with his shirt on anyways.
Ella climbed into bed on the other side and he rolled towards her. He had a big drunken grin on his face and his hair was falling into his eyes. Ella brushed his hair back and ran her fingers through it for a while. Jared closed his eyes and started mumbling things that didn’t make any sense. She wondered how he’d gotten back to the room on his own.
Eventually Jared’s mumbling became a little more coherent and she could understand what he was talking about. He was telling her he loved her over and over. His left hand was moving around the bed looking for her. It eventually found her hip and he left it there, thumb rubbing back and forth. Ella pulled him to her chest and he fell asleep listening to her heart beat while she ran a hand through his hair. She loved it when he slept on her chest.

The next morning Jared woke up with a headache. He asked Ella to shut the curtains and buried his head under the pillows. She got up and did what he’d asked only to climb back into bed. She pulled the pillow off his head and kissed his ear. Slowly he turned his face to look at her and smiled when he noticed the room was darker.
“Just imagine how Tomo’s doing.” Ella said quietly.
“Mmm.” Jared groaned.
Ella smiled and ran her hand through his hair pushing it back. He closed his eyes and a little smile came to his lips. “I’ll get you some water. Do you want to go have breakfast with everyone or stay here?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay.” She kissed his forehead. “I’ll be right back.”
Jared put his hand on her thigh and let it slide off as she got up from the bed. She came back with water and he sat up slowly. Ella sat cross legged next to him and watched to see how bad he was feeling. He finished the water and put the cup on the nightstand. Then he held out his arms towards Ella and she leaned forward to crawl up next to him. He put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her.
“You take good care of me, you know that?”
“I do.” She nodded. “You were telling me all about it last night.”
“I was?” He asked looking a little worried.
“Yep, you babble when you’re drunk.”
“I know.” He sighed. “What did I say?”
“You told me how much you loved me and how you wanted to just stay in this bed forever. There was some stuff about living on a beach in a hut for a few months. You might have been talking about Africa again, I’m not sure though. You got a little more coherent before you fell asleep and told me how much you appreciated having me around and that I take good care of you, don’t let you get into too much trouble. I think you might have forgotten how much trouble I do get you into.”
“Maybe.” He smiled. “But all that still stands.”
“Drunken minds speak sober hearts.” She kissed his nose.
“I should get you drunk more often then.” He grinned and then added. “I’d have to stay sober though so I could remember what you say.”
“Good luck. I wouldn’t let you stay sober.”
“All I have to do is not drink tonight and you’ll come home drunk like I did last night.”
“What makes you think that will happen?”
“Vicki’s bachelorette party.”
“We’re not going to get wasted like you boys did last night.”
“Men.”
“Boys.”
“Men.” Jared said a little more firmly.
“If you had acted like men last night you wouldn’t have come home so drunk. Tomo, who I know has to at least be curled around a toilet right now, wouldn’t have needed you to carry him home. You talked a bit about that by the way. I wouldn’t have had to listen to Shannon last night in the room next door calling out different names because he couldn’t remember the one of the girl he was with.”
“He probably never asked.”
“Or he didn’t care.”
Jared shook his head. “Sometimes I wonder how he’s my brother.”
“I remember how you were when you were young and just starting out with the band. You had quite a few nights like Shannon did last night.”
“Yeah, but I grew out of it. I grew out of it a lot faster than you did.”
“We all know I’m fucked up.” She rolled her eyes and passed the little jab Jared made at her off. “My point is you were all little boys last night.”
“Fine. We’ll see how you do tonight then.”
“Better than you.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
Ella laughed a little to herself as she settled against Jared’s side.
“What’s funny?”
“We just argued like a married couple.”
“Eh, well.” Jared shrugged.
Ella kissed his neck and put her arm over his stomach. “Are you feeling up to breakfast? It’s in ten minutes.”
“I should eat something.” Jared sighed. “Give me a sec to get dressed.”
“Mmkay.” She kissed his cheek and got up from the bed.
Jared sat on the edge for a moment and took a few deep breaths before he got up. He went to his suitcase and grabbed a clean shirt and slid on the same black jeans from the night before. Ella hugged him from behind and kissed the back of his shoulder.
“I love that most of the shirts you wear are old and have holes in them.” She said sticking her finger through the hole in his collar.
“They’re comfortable.”
“You look like a hobo a lot but I like it.”
“Uhm, thanks... I think?”
“You’re welcome. Just don’t put on that heap of white and black fabric that you bought for way too much money.”
“It’s a mid length cloak.” He corrected her.
“It’s also designed for women but you wear it anyways.”
“It’s comfortable.” He mumbled.
Ella stood on her toes and kissed the back corner of his jaw. “I’m just giving you a hard time Babe. Wear whatever you want, you’re a big boy.” She patted his backside.
“Yeah, almost forty.” He sighed.
“So old.”
“Don’t.” He whined turned to hug her. “I don’t wanna be forty. I don’t wanna be old.”
“You’ve still got the same ass you had in your twenties. Don’t worry about it.” She grinned pinching his backside hard.
He flinched. “I don’t talk to people with my ass, Ella.”
“Well...”
“Stop being so mean to me this morning.” He hugged her tighter. “What’s with you.”
“Nothing. Just like teasing you.” She kissed him. “Sorry. If it’s any consolation I like your face a lot more now than I did in college.”
He smiled.
“You’re much more handsome.”
“And?” He smirked pushing his nose to hers.
“And you don’t look forty. Now stop fishing for compliments and get downstairs.” Ella said backing out of his hug.
She went to his suitcase and started moving thing around. Jared assumed she was cleaning it up and went to grab his shoes. When he came back she was wearing his black and white mid length cloak and looked very good in it. He shook his head but kissed her anyways. In the back of his mind he wondered what she’d look like if she wasn’t wearing anything but that cloak. Ella could read what he was thinking from the way his eyebrow popped up and hit him in the back of the head. They both laughed and then headed downstairs to meet everyone for breakfast.

Vicki’s bachelorette party was much more calm than Tomo’s bachelor party. They didn’t go out to bars and terrorize Athens. Instead they kicked Tomo of of the suite they were staying in and had a little party to themselves. Tomo went to find Jared and pass the time until he was allowed back to see Vicki before he had to spend the night away from her. They were getting married the next day.
The girls gave Vicki presents and laughed at some of the dirty things she opened up. Ella’s was probably the worst of all and Vicki laughed when she saw what was in the box. Ella had bought her a nice pair of handcuffs that weren’t fuzzy or pink. They were almost like real ones a cop would use but the edges were rounded out so they wouldn’t cut into the wrist of the wearer so much. Vicki had thought that was all but Ella encouraged her to reach back into the bag. Vicki pulled out a small box and looked at Ella wondering what it was. Ella nodded at her fighting smile as Vicki tentatively pulled the box top off. Inside were a set of nipple clamps. Vicki laughed and said she wasn’t sure she’d have use for those but Ella promised they were fun and Vicki should give them a shot. They were one of Ella’s favorite things to use anyways.
Lots of dirty jokes and jabs were made through the night. They had drinks but only got a little pink in the cheeks and giggled. They weren’t going to get anywhere near as drunk as the boys did the night before because the next day was Vicki’s wedding and no one wanted to look or feel like shit. A few games were played with overly sexual themes and the party went on until midnight.
Ella headed back to her room to find Jared and Tomo drinking beer and watching some TV. Ella told Tomo he could go say goodnight to Vicki and then he had to come back. Jared stood up and pulled Ella into a hug so he could kiss her when the door shut.
“You taste like...” he leaned in and kissed her again, “like Jack and coke.”
“Last thing I had.”
“Mmm, I like it.” He leaned in to kiss her again and slipped his tongue past her lips.
She was more than willing to forget Tomo was coming back. Jared pulled her tighter and kissed her harder winding one of his hands into her hair. Ella started to slide her hands under Jared’s shirt so she could take it off but he pulled back and looked at her.
“What?”
“We shouldn’t. Tomo will be back any second.”
“Make it quick then.” She pulled him back in.
Jared kissed her back for a while before he stopped her again. “We shouldn’t.”
Ella could see there was something else other than just Tomo stopping him. She had a good guess as to what that was and backed off. There was no way she was going to continue and end up bringing around the conversation about being together again. They were too close to that territory and they didn’t need to have a fight about it the night before their friends got married.
Tomo came back a few minutes later to find Ella finishing Jared’s beer while Jared was in the shower. She sat and talked to Tomo for a while with the TV on as background noise. He admitted he was nervous. He didn’t want to stutter or say something wrong. He knew Vicki was the only person he wanted to spend his life with and was excited that he was finally going to commit to that, he just didn’t want to do something silly.
“What about you?” Tomo asked watching Ella put down the empty bottle.
“Already tried marriage. Wasn’t for me.” She smiled.
“Yeah, I know. But maybe Adrian was just the wrong person.”
“He was a very nice man. He took good care of me.”
“But he didn’t let you be who you were, who you are.”
Ella nodded in agreement.
Tomo hesitated before asking his next question, he could hear the shower still on. “Is there anyone you’d want to spend the rest of your life with?”
“You guys.” She smiled. “You’re all my best friends.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Maybe.” She sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“I bet if you had another beer it would get less complicated.” Tomo grinned.
“We don’t have time for that. Jared’ll be out of the shower soon.”
“Why would it matter if Jared was out of the shower or not?” Tomo asked though he knew just how to play this.
“Because then he’d know what I really thought about him.”
“And that is?”
Ella’s cheeks were red. She was a little too inebriated. Tomo didn’t feel like he was taking advantage of her at all. “He’s the only one who’d have the patience to deal with me for the rest of my life.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Would you want him to be that patient?”
“Yeah, if he’d stop asking so many questions and let me be.”
“Questions about what?”
“Me. My life.”
“He’s just interested is all.”
“He’s known me more than half my life. He should know enough by now.” Ella burped at the end of the sentence.
“Cute.”
“Thanks.” She giggled.
Ella’s face got serious all of a sudden. Something had just occured to her.
“What?” Tomo asked.
“I’ll be thirty-eight in ten days.”
“Yes.”
“Jared will be forty in a few months.”
“Right again.”
“What’s wrong with us?”
“Haven’t found the right balance yet.” Jared said walking out of the bathroom, his voice far too cool and even. “You should go to bed Ella.”
“No, I like talking to Tomo. He’s really smart.”
“And you’re pretty drunk.”
“Am not.”
“You’re talking. You’re drunk.” He said staring impassively at her as he approached.
“Fine.” She let Jared pick her up from the chair and place her on the bed.
Ella pulled off her jeans and slid under the covers on her own to fall asleep. Jared sat down in the chair she had just vacated and looked at Tomo. He didn’t say anything, he just looked. Tomo felt uncomfortable. Jared looked away.
“You shouldn’t ask her stuff when she’s drunk.” Jared said almost too quietly.
“Why?”
“Can’t trust it.” His head gave a slight shake to emphasise his statement.
“I can always trust what you say when you’re drunk.”
“She’s not me.” Jared countered.
“True, but I don’t think she was lying.”
“I don’t want to think about it.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
“That’s sad.”
“Like she said, I’m almost forty.” Jared shook his head and looked sadly back at Ella. “I’ve got to stop waiting around for her.”
“You’re too busy to settle now.”
Jared nodded in agreement. “I just have to stop climbing into bed with her.”
“How long’s it been since the last time?” Tomo asked tentatively. He wasn’t sure that was a question he could ask.
“Almost three months. That last night in South America when she came out. Colombia.”
“That’s good.”
“It’s hard.”
“I know.”
“I love her too much.” He bit his bottom lip fighting tears. “I don’t know what it is that makes her run from me.”
“She’s scared.” Tomo said quietly.
“She’s determined.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Ella thinks that if we’re together in a ‘normal’ relationship then she’ll end up like her mother.” He took a sharp breath when the next sentence formed on his lips. “Our baby, she gave her up because she didn’t want to be like her mother.” Jared felt tears on his cheek, he closed his eyes trying to keep his mind and his voice even. “She’s determined to never be her mother, to never be stable.”
Tomo didn’t know what to say. Jared covered his face and took deep breaths trying to calm himself down.
“I need a break.” He sighed looking up at the TV. “Oh do I need a break from everything.”
“We don’t have much planned past the end of the year.”
“Got my birthday planned, kinda.” Jared was glad of the slight subject change.
“What are you doing?”
Jared leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. “We’re all going to India for a while. Break from tour but not quite the kind of break I’m thinking of taking.”
“What do you want to do?”
He took a deep breath before answering Tomo’s question. “I wanna just go somewhere by myself. I need time to think and be on my own. Maybe I’ll stay a little longer in India than everyone else. Take some time.”
“Might be good for you.”
Jared nodded.

The next day everyone was up early. Jared helped Tomo dress and Ella fixed his hair. Once Tomo was ready Ella turned her attention to Jared. She fixed his tie and straightened out his jacket. She looked at his hair and sighed.
“What?”
“I don’t like it gelled back.”
“It gets in the way if it’s not.”
“You look better when it’s free.”
“Well I like it like this.”
Ella stuck her tongue out at Jared. He pinched it but she pulled it back into her mouth. Tomo told them they were the perfect five year olds. There wasn’t much time to debate that because they needed to get to the wedding. Jared was a groomsman and Ella was a bridesmaid.
Jared took Tomo one way when they were at the venue and Ella went the other. She needed to meet up with Vicki and the rest of the bridesmaids. Emma was the one to let Ella in. She was already dressed and said Vicki should be out any second. Her mother was helping her into the wedding dress.
Excitement and the good kind of tension was rising. Tomo couldn’t stop fidgeting when he was standing up in front of everyone waiting to see his wife to be. Music started up and everyone held their breath. Vicki looked more beautiful than anyone have ever seen her. It was the smile that did it. She was so happy that day.
Jared couldn’t help but think back a few years to when he watched Ella get married from a distance. He was thankful that she wasn’t anymore but felt bad for feeling that way. His attention was turned on the couple holding hands and saying their vows but every once in awhile his eyes would drift over to Ella. He was sure he saw her dab at her eyes a few times.
Tomo and Vicki kissed. They were married. Everyone smiled and clapped as the couple headed down the aisle. One by one the groomsmen and bridesmaids followed side by side after the couple. Ella and Jared were next to one another and Ella grabbed Jared’s hand while they were walking. He couldn’t help but light up with a smile when he felt her hand.
The reception was amazing. It was outside and there were lights strung up all over the place. Vicki and Tomo’s first dance together was a little awkward because Tomo misstepped a few times but it was cute. They kept sharing little kisses and laughing.
When the floor was open to everyone Jared pulled Ella with him. They hadn’t done much dancing together but they were pretty decent at it. He kept staring at her with his blue eyes making her shiver because he was so intense. She’d give him a kiss once in a while to break the tension but he wouldn’t let up. For once in her life she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“You’re in trouble tonight.” Shannon said to Ella when he found her sitting at a table without Jared.
“You think so?” She asked.
“I saw the way he was looking at you on the dance floor. The way you two were moving. You’re in for it tonight.”
“I don’t think that’s what that was.”
Before Shannon could answer her Jared came back. He had a drink for himself and for Ella. He would have brought Shannon one if he had known Shannon was there. Shannon said it was alright and went to get himself one. He didn’t come back to the table.
The night was long and Ella was sure she was Tomo and Vicki slip out early. She didn’t blame them. Everyone was talking to them, congratulating them whenever they got near. She knew they wanted to get back up to their hotel room and have time alone.
Jared and Ella stayed until most of the people had gone. They went back to their hotel room and Jared pulled her close when the door shut. He was smooth pulling her into a kiss and unzipping her dress at the same time. Ella gave him no fight tugging his shirt so it became untucked. He wasn’t rough or dominating like he normally was. Every time he touched her it was soft. His kisses were fervent.
Shannon had said she was in for it that night and Ella knew he had been thinking something much more physical, much more rough. This was more taxing to her. The way he touched her, stroked her. He knew how to bring her to her metaphorical knees. She almost couldn’t handle the way he touched her that night.
They hadn’t even gotten to the bed and she was having a hard time keeping any coherent thought in her head. She couldn’t say a word, just quiet noises when he did something right. Slowly he put her in bed and crawled on top of her. He was still peeling her clothes off, her stockings were next. She couldn’t help but bite her lip as he slid them off her leg and kissed back up it before taking the other.
Everywhere he went his mouth left kisses and small, sweet, gentile bites. This was more than that night on the couch in their college’s art building. The way he moved, the sounds he made in her ear, the way he kissed her, touched her. She was begging him to give her a moment to recover but he wouldn’t let up. She was sure her heart would fail from the way he was making it beat.
He only took her once but it was more than she could have ever asked for. She was more tired than she’d ever been. He’d exhausted her physically with his slow burning movements and emotionally with the way he took care of her. She could hardly keep her eyes open when he pulled her to his chest and ran his fingers through her hair, his chest rising and falling slowly as he drifted off to sleep himself.
She never felt that way with anyone but him again.

The next few months were pretty good. Jared hadn’t brought up being with Ella in a long time. He’d made an effort to forget about the idea. After the night in Greece he stayed away from climbing into bed with her. He didn’t shower with her or go skinny dipping because he was afraid of the temptation. Occasionally she’d steal kisses from him and he’d get carried away but he always found some reason to stop them.
Ella knew what he was doing. She figured it was only fair though she couldn’t stop thinking about Greece. She wanted him to touch her like that again. She wanted him in her bed more than ever but knew it was wrong. She couldn’t be with him how he wanted her so she stayed away from as much temptation as he did.
The only other time she ever came out on tour that year was for their three hundredth show. She had to see them conclude the tour that had taken almost two solid years of their life to complete and see them make it into the Guinness Book of World Records. That was something she knew Jared wouldn’t have let her miss even if she hadn’t wanted to be there.
Her favorite shows were the two in the church. They seemed more intimate and passionate to her than the three hundredth celebration. Terry was there taking pictures and watching right alongside Ella. It was just more relaxed and fun. The three hundredth had other things going on like the first VyRT that stressed everyone out. The church had much less pressure.
Everyone came home after that and relaxed. Vicki and Tomo pretty much disappeared from the map. Shannon wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He unpacked his drums, cleaned them up, and then packed them all back up. Jared was still kind of working. He couldn’t turn it off. His mind always wrote and changed songs around. He just didn’t bother anyone else with them for the time being. None of them were even sure they’d be able to do another tour let alone another album. Everything had been so hard for two years. Living on the road like that wasn’t easy. It was rough on the body and the soul. He was thinking of new things to do with his baby company VyRT. His mind just didn’t stop, he hardly slept because he was thinking. Even if he was in bed with Ella sleeping on his chest he was sitting up thinking.
India was next. It was meant to be relaxing and a celebration. Not only a celebration of Jared’s forty years on the planet but a celebration of all they had achieved in the last two years. With nothing in front of them they could finally look back and reflect on the feat they had accomplished.
Almost everyone who worked on something Mars related or toured with them was there. Jared’s actual party was huge and full of happy faces. He felt too good to remember he was trying to stay away from Ella.
He fell back into the trap of letting himself think they were together. She spent her nights in his bed though she had her own. Their days hardly ever differed. Their fingers were almost always laced. It was just much simpler to invite trouble than it was to keep it away. The only problem was he’d grown out of his college youth and a little voice in the back of his mind told him to watch out, to be careful. She was unpredictable when things started to settle.