If It Was Meant to Happen...
It was all out of pure heartbreak
I get back to the flat and pace back and forth for about 10 minutes before deciding to just go in. I grab onto the door handle and hesitantly, I turn the handle and its unlocked. Oh shit, hes home. I let go fast.
Should I ? No, I shouldn't.
Just do it.
No.It will mess things up worse.
Well, things really cant get really any worse.
Yes they can. He's going to talk to me.
Just walk in!!!
That was my mind going crazy while trying to figure out what to do. I slowly open the door, peeking my head inside. The lights are off.
"uhm.... Phil?" I ask quietly, "Phil?" I say a bit louder. No answer each time. I decide to walk in and inspect the place for any signs of him. I see a note on the kitchen counter reading: "Dan, if you did decide to come home while i'm gone, i'm just going to sa- Nevermind. I need to talk to you in person. Please stay."
I choose to just leave it there with no reply. I go for the fridge and all of a sudden feel not hungry. Like I don't need to eat. It just feels weird to take food when it doesn't even feel like my home anymore. I step back and then go for my bedroom. I start to pack my little things into a backpack of mine.
I head for my bathroom and start throwing things into my bag while holding back tears. My hair brush, toothbrush, toothpaste, then I see it. The thing that gave me one of the worst ideas of my life, and seeing how i'm impulsive as fuck and thinking my life is over, I grab a heavy-ish looking object and then hold the shaving razor in the right angle. I begin to hit the razor and breaking it open. I grab one of the three ultra sharp razors and hold it to my arm.
I look at myself in the mirror and let out a tear. I press the razor into my skin slightly and I can already feel it cutting in. I close my eyes and quickly rip it across my skin.
I stare down and the cut. Watching the velvet red colored liquid bubble up from the wound, turn dark and start to drip down my arm. I need it again.
I slice the razor one more time. A bit slower this time so I can feel it. But its not enough. I do it twice more. Then three more quick ones right after.
Seven.
Seven cuts.
I quickly rush to my room to find my first aid kit I keep hidden. Obviously I hid it so well I cant even find it. I'm bleeding pretty bad at this point and just desperate to use anything.
"Dan? You here?" Phil's home. I need to hide.
I run to my wardrobe and hide inside there. I grab a random shirt to wrap around my wrist and bite my lip to keep me from making noise.
"Dan? If your here please answe-" He stopped. Why did he stop? "Oh god, Dan!" I hear fast footsteps into my room. "Dan!" I hear, followed by a sigh as he begins to leave my room.
Should I ? No, I shouldn't.
Just do it.
No.It will mess things up worse.
Well, things really cant get really any worse.
Yes they can. He's going to talk to me.
Just walk in!!!
That was my mind going crazy while trying to figure out what to do. I slowly open the door, peeking my head inside. The lights are off.
"uhm.... Phil?" I ask quietly, "Phil?" I say a bit louder. No answer each time. I decide to walk in and inspect the place for any signs of him. I see a note on the kitchen counter reading: "Dan, if you did decide to come home while i'm gone, i'm just going to sa- Nevermind. I need to talk to you in person. Please stay."
I choose to just leave it there with no reply. I go for the fridge and all of a sudden feel not hungry. Like I don't need to eat. It just feels weird to take food when it doesn't even feel like my home anymore. I step back and then go for my bedroom. I start to pack my little things into a backpack of mine.
I head for my bathroom and start throwing things into my bag while holding back tears. My hair brush, toothbrush, toothpaste, then I see it. The thing that gave me one of the worst ideas of my life, and seeing how i'm impulsive as fuck and thinking my life is over, I grab a heavy-ish looking object and then hold the shaving razor in the right angle. I begin to hit the razor and breaking it open. I grab one of the three ultra sharp razors and hold it to my arm.
I look at myself in the mirror and let out a tear. I press the razor into my skin slightly and I can already feel it cutting in. I close my eyes and quickly rip it across my skin.
I stare down and the cut. Watching the velvet red colored liquid bubble up from the wound, turn dark and start to drip down my arm. I need it again.
I slice the razor one more time. A bit slower this time so I can feel it. But its not enough. I do it twice more. Then three more quick ones right after.
Seven.
Seven cuts.
I quickly rush to my room to find my first aid kit I keep hidden. Obviously I hid it so well I cant even find it. I'm bleeding pretty bad at this point and just desperate to use anything.
"Dan? You here?" Phil's home. I need to hide.
I run to my wardrobe and hide inside there. I grab a random shirt to wrap around my wrist and bite my lip to keep me from making noise.
"Dan? If your here please answe-" He stopped. Why did he stop? "Oh god, Dan!" I hear fast footsteps into my room. "Dan!" I hear, followed by a sigh as he begins to leave my room.