Only You Give Me That Feeling

Alana’s POV

“My sister was in a really bad shape, and my best friend had died in the ER” I heard Stephanie say, as her eyes started to water
No one said anything, the only sound you could hear in that bus were Stephanie’s heavy breathing and my sobbing.

"All those years and I just find out what happened, everyone always blamed Stephanie for their death and for both accidents. Even me at one point” I thought to myself

She paused “I lost my twin sister and my best friend” she said and a tear slowly fell down her cheek. Brian tried to hold her, but she didn’t let him v “I wanted to see Mel so bad, but the doctors didn’t let me, they said she was in no shape.” she said “Days later they finally let me see Mel, only because-” she said and dropped another tear “they said she was already living on borrowed time” she said and tears skim down “I went to her hospital room, It was killing me to see her like that. I took her hand and-and she slowly opened her eyes” she said now crying, not being able to speak, but still tried. I didn’t knew that, I thought Melanie wasn’t up when she was with her

“I couldn’t say anything, I just stared at her” She said breaking down and Brian hugged her really tight and wiped away her tears. After one minute she let go and continued “She asked me to be strong and begged me to take care of our little sisters, just like she and Taylor did” She said and by then all the guys were holding back tears. I couldn’t contain myself and started crying again. Tears started stream down her face “I tried to say something, but she closed her eyes and, died. Right in front of me… still holding my hand” she said crying her heart out and closing her eyes. “The doctors came rushing into the room and my dad took me out. After a while, they managed to bring her back, but back into coma, she didn’t wake up this time”

She finished telling the story, and by that time, we were all in tears. I had no idea what had happened. I just believed what everyone said, that they were beyond drunk and wanted prove they could drive and nothing would happen. I believed the lies everyone said.
I finally got to completely understand the real reason she doesn’t want to go back to Garden City or to remember her family or friends. 'She run away because she doesn’t want to remember what happened’ I thought to myself and hugged her tighter

Brian’s POV

“Shh. It’s okay, Stefi. Don’t cry” I said holding her tight. I gasped, tears flowing out of her eyes. My throat tightened with each sob she made. I was shocked, this was all so messed up, she was so damaged. I was having a hard time assimilating all that we were told.

“It’s okay Steph. Calm down, we’re here for you” I heard Zacky said. She just started crying more. I’ve never seen her like this. I wanted to break down right there, but I couldn’t, I had to be strong for her. I did the only thing I felt I could, I hugged her, I just kept caring her hair, I wanted her to know I was there for her, no matter what “but, why did you left?” Zacky asked quietly. Stephanie turned silent and Alana’s eyes started to water even more. She shook her head

“I just couldn’t stand being there anymore” she said and started crying uncontrollably. I turned to look at Alana, her hands turned into fist. I could tell it was taking everything she had not to start crying right there, but she couldn’t take it any longer. There were too many tears forming in her eyes.

“That’s why I did what I did, and why I left Garden City” Stephanie whispered “I lost four important people to me in less than 4 months. And it was my fault” she said and a single tear ran down her cheek. “I hated when other people made me feel bad about it, or blamed me. Because, trust me, I was already hard enough on myself.” she cried

“I’m sorry Stephanie. I’m really sorry” Alana said locking eyes with her. Stephanie stared at her confused “I didn’t know what happened” she cried and Stephanie stared at her “I was one of those people who blamed you, I’m ashamed to admit it, but it’s true”
“What?”
“I had just lost one of my three best friends, Stephanie. What did you expect me to think?”
“I expected you to believe me”
“But I did! That’s why I moved away with you, because somehow I knew it wasn’t your fault, even though I thought it was at first” she sobbed “I really didn’t know what had happened that night, but I do now. And I'm really sorry, Steph. I really am”
Stephanie looked away from her and into the window, staring at the sky. Silent tears were falling down her cheeks and she was biting her lip.
“I’m really sorry Steph” she said. Stephanie nodded smiling weakly and buried her face on her hands.


“I am so sorry Steph. Please, say something. Please?” Jimmy said after a few minutes of silence, kneeling in front of her. I pulled her face away from her hands and saw her bloodshot eyes. Tears began to sting the corner of my eyes. I couldn’t stand to see her like that, to see all the tear stains on her face and the still tears in her eyes threatening to fall at any moment. She then looked up at me and I moved a piece of hair out of her face, I looked down at her, and that’s when she broke down again, she was lying on my chest crying her heart out.
“I just miss them so much” she cried

“Steph, don’t worry, it all be okay” Jimmy said holding her hand
“Yeah, you know. When we go to Garden City-” Zacky stated
“That’s the thing! I don’t want to go back! It’s my fault Lindsay and my brother died! I don’t wanna find out if Melanie is gone too” She said crying

“Stefi, I think you should get back to your family. That’s all you can do” Matt said looking at her in the eye

“No, Matt. I ran away because I couldn’t be around them anymore. Everyone hated me for killing Lindsay, Melanie and Taylor. I couldn’t stand it, even my own parents hated me for killing their only son" I cried “I don’t wanna realize they hate me for killing my sister too.”
"Stefi, they would never hate you. They're your parents after all" I told her cupping her face in my hands
"It was my job to keep them safe” she said barely above a whisper and a tear ran down her cheek “I just can't. I can't face my parents” She paused as more tears fell down “it’s my fault, Brian. I can't go back” She said with such bluntness that it broke my heart. And crying even harder, she was really hurt. None of us knew what to say, we stay in silence for 5 minutes


“Okay, you know what, that’s it” Alana said looking straight into her eyes “Steph, this is where it stops” She said and Stephanie stopped sobbing and looked at her with her eyes wide open “Now listen to me, it wasn’t your fault, if you’re gonna blame someone, then blame the plane captain, or the drunk bastard who hit you guys, oh crap, why not me? I mean, I’m the one who was busy and didn’t drive you back home on the first place”

“I don’t blame you”
“Then you shouldn’t blame yourself, there is nothing you could’ve done”
“I could have listened to them”
“You didn’t know it was gonna happen! And what if Melanie is not dead!” She said and made Stephanie look into her eyes
“What if she is, Alana”
“Stephanie, I know Melanie and she is as strong as you are, she would never give up” She said hugging her
“Stefi, listen to me” I said, turning her face with my hand so that her tear filled eyes were looking into mine “What if Melanie’s already gone?” I said and she looked at me with a shocked look, so did the others “Are you never gonna go back again? Just because you’re scared?” I said as she cried “Stop thinking about yourself for a minute and think about your little sisters. They already lost their older brother and perhaps their sister” he paused “If you don’t go back, they will not have lost two siblings, but three. Is that what really you want?” I said. I know what I’d say was hard, but I was right, she stayed in silence for a few minutes still dropping tears.

“Fine, I’ll do it” she said barely above a whisper after several minutes. I smiled and held her tight “when are we getting there?” I asked
“In three hours probably” Matt said
“Okay” she paused “can I just be left alone right now?” she asked, holding back tears. This must have been really hard for her, we knew she needed some time alone, so nobody refused. She stood up and walked to the bunk area, getting into her bunk.

“This is” Johnny said after a long time of silence “Whoa” no one said anything, they only nodded
“Now I understand why she always looked so broken” Matt said
“Yeah” Jimmy said staring at the floor “Well, we also learned something else” he said smirking, everyone stared at him confused, his smirk went wider “Brian has a thing for twins” he said and the silence break, making the guys let out a quiet laugh.