If I Knew Who You Were

*Gerards POV*

I woke up the next morning, not quite as happily as I had the previous. I was still kind of concerned about why Frank refused to let me know where he lived, it didn't make sense. I mean - he's my boyfriend so I really should know. Well, at least I think he's my boyfriend, but he didn't really ever give me much confirmation.

I pondered this for a little bit, before getting up and getting ready for college. I wasn't really in the mood for it, but it wouldn't be fair on Lilly if I skipped out on it, because I've done that enough times before. Once I was dressed I made my way downstairs where my mother was sitting, reading a paper and eating some breakfast.

I joined her in silence, picking a slice of toast off of the plate in the middle of the table. I chewed it slowly, hating the sound of the crunching it made in my mouth through the silence.

"Oh that's horrible" my mother cooed to herself. I looked up and questioned her on what was horrible. "There's a story here about a boy who was put in hospital by class mates just because he's homosexual.." she said, sadly. That concluded that. My mother wasn't homophobic. I was just about to tell her that I was gay, when my Dad walked in;
"He deserved it!" he announced, much to my shock. My mum looked up at him and shook her head.

"Donald, no-one deserves that" she sighed.

"Yes they do. Boy's liking boys is wrong on so many different levels, don't you agree Gerard?" he said, looking directly at me.

"No, I don't" I snarled, before standing and leaving the house. I heard him call after me as I walked down the drive, but I couldn't care less, people like him made me sick, thinking that people deserved abuse like that. I got into my car, and drove to Lillys, still boiling with anger.

I parked outside, and honked my horn like usual, but unlike all the other times I've picked her up, today she looked tired, and concerned about something. Her hair wasn't done in some intricate way, it was just tied back into a quick ponytail - something was up.

"Whats up?" I said, cutting to the chase as soon as she climbed into the car next to me.
She glanced at me a worried look on her face, and she avoided my eyes. She looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Nothing..."

"Lilly, you're not wearing make-up. Something has to be up" I said, handing her a stick of eyeliner.

"No I swear, I'm fine. I just had a bit of an argument with my mum last night and it lasted most of the night..." she said, still avoiding my eyes, and not taking the eyeliner I was offering to her. I didn't push the subject anymore although I knew that she was lying to me.

The ride to college was silent, except for the sound of the radio station that we listened to every morning while I drove. Normally we'd be laughing at what the presenters were saying, or singing along to the crappy pop songs that were played. I was becoming paranoid. Had I done something to annoy her? Was she mad at me? I asked her this and she looked at me and scoffed.

"No Gerard, you haven't done anything. It's not always about you y'know" she said harshly. "I already told you why I'm not myself today"

"And I also know you better than you think. I can tell when you're lying to me Lilly, and if I've done something, I want to know so I can make it right, and if I haven't...I want to know what's going on anyway!"

She looked at me and sighed. I glanced at her, before pulling into the college car-park, and climbing out of the car. "I-I can't tell you Gerard...not right now...but I'm pretty certain you'll find out soon enough. Trust me"

"I don't want to find out soon enough! I want to know now! This is something thats obviously upsetting you and I want to be able to help! Can you not see that?! We never keep things from each other. What's going on?"

"Nothing Gerard. It's just...It's nothing. Leave it" she said, stalking off towards her first lesson.

For once I was glad that we weren't in the same double class this morning, because I don't know if I could cope with her being like that with me for 2 hours today. I knew that she wasn't telling me the truth, and that hurt me to be honest.