If I Knew Who You Were

Two months later

"Gerard! Wake up!" My mother shrieked, running through the door into my room.

"Whaaaat?" I groaned, pulling my pillow over my head, and trying to catch a few more minutes of sleep. Whatever she wanted - it better be important.

"You have a valentines," she said, and I could hear the smirk in her voice.

Now, I for one, have always loved Valentines day, I think it's an adorably cliche day where loved up couples get to be all gooey all the time, and I also like it because I tend to get a lot of Valentines - not that I'm big headed or anything. This year, however, I was sworn against the holiday because I didn't have someone to be all gooey with. Sure, I'd had boyfriend offers recently, but I somehow felt like I was betraying Frank if I accepted them; even if he did tell me to forget him. It's a complicated emotion that I'm feeling right now.

"Well, are you going to open it?" She asked.

"No,"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't wanna!" I said, in a childish voice.

"Come on Gerard, don't be a baby. Just open it," she said, perching on the edge of my bed, and dangling the red envelope in my face.

Something about seeing it, made me very intrigued to open it and find out what was hiding inside. I took the envelope from her hands, and opened it slowly.
The card simply pictured a red heart on a black background - I preferred it simple, it made it less cheesy!

I slowly opened it to be met with the usual: "To Gerard, Happy Valentines Day, Love ? xoxo" but there was something about the handwriting that made me think that I'd seen it before. I couldn't place a finger on who's it was or where I'd seen it.

"So, who's it from?" My mum asked, happily.

"Mum, it's a Valentines card. I'm not supposed to know who it's from," I chuckled dryly.

I looked over the handwriting again, and it hit me hard in the face. I quickly scrambled into my bedside draw to get the letter from Christmas day out. Linda had said that I could keep it, but I was going to give it back to her in a couple of weeks anyway, so it was almost like we were sharing it between the two of us.

I pulled it out, and looked slowly over it, comparing the two sets of handwriting. It was from Frank. Damn, he's so cheesy, but that just makes me love him even more!

"What's that?" My mum asked nosily. Damn! I forgot she was even in the room.

"It's nothing," I said, snatching the paper away. I looked at the hurt on her face. She hates it when I hide things from her, which I was trying to prevent. I was also debating recently about telling her that I'm gay. I'm pretty surprised that she hadn't noticed sooner!

"Mum," I started, slowly. "Hypothetically how would you react if Mikey told you that he was gay?"

"Mikey's gay?!" She said, quickly sounding shocked.

"No, I said hypothetically! So what would you do?"

"Well, I'll admit that I'd be pretty damn shocked, and I guess a bit disappointed that I wouldn't be getting any grand-kids from him," she laughed to show me that she was only joking. "And it'd sure as hell take a lot of getting used to, but I'd be fine with it. Why? Do you know something?"

"No, it's just that..." I started, and looked up at her. I felt a huge lump in my throat and it was chocking me. I knew that she wouldn't react badly, so why am I freaking out over this?

"What is it, baby?" she asked, placing a hand on my cheek.

"Mum...I'm gay," I chocked out, looking at her worriedly.

Her face stayed soft and she chuckled slightly. "There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" she said.

"What?"

"I could tell Gerard, from the moment you asked what I'd do if Mikey was gay. There was no way that you'd be trying to tell me that he was gay, because you two are one tight unit, any words exchanged between you two, stay between you two. I bet he knew as well, huh?"

"Yeah, he was the second person I told,"

"Who was the first,"

"Li--" I started, only to be cut off my the door flying open, and the girl herself walking in. "Good timing," I chuckled.

"What?" she said, looking confused then waving at my mum.

"I was just telling my mum that you were the first person to know that I was gay,"

"You told her?" Lilly said, a smile growing on her face. I nodded, and she let out a high pitched squeal, running towards me and jumping onto my bed, showing my face in kisses. "I'm so proud of you!" she squeaked.

"You know what?" My mum started, watching us with an amused smile on her face. "I know I just found out that you're gay, Gerard, but you and Lilly sure would make a good couple,"

I just looked at Lilly in shock. I could never imagine dating Lilly, I mean it's not that I wouldn't if I was straight, but we're such good friends, I wouldn't want to risk that by having a relationship with her.

"Really?" I stated in disbelief. "Whatever, anyway, mum, will you not tell Dad about this please?" I smiled sweetly.

"Sure thing," she said, before leaving the room.

I looked over to Lilly and noticed that she was kind of staring off into space, and her originally happy, smiley face had disappeared, and she looked somewhat disappointed.
"Lilly," I said, snapping my fingers in her face. "Look, it's from Frank," I giggled, holding up the Valentines card. I noticed also, that when she smiled, it was very very forced and unenthusiastic...