If I Knew Who You Were

I shut the phone down to end the call, and looked back to Matt who was watching me with a strange expression. "So, who was that?" he asked, nodding his head towards the door. I'm assuming he was referring to Frank.

"That was Frank," I answered, truthfully. I couldn't lie, really, could I?

"Is he like an ex or something?"

"Ah, yeah. I guess you could say he's something like that. But not. There's a long and complicated story that comes with it,"

"Oh, well, I won't ask you to go into it, I mean, it looks like it brings back some bad memories?" Matt stated and asked at the same time as he stepped forward and placed his hand on my upper arm. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to know, and this was obviously some plan to guilt trip me into telling him, but I wasn't going to. Not now at least.

"Yeah, something like that, listen are you doing anything tonight?"

"Nope. Had nothing planned,"

"Want to go out? I mean, it doesn't have to be as a date...but it could be if you wanted it to be, I mean...yeah," I rambled stupidly looking down at the floor.

Frank coming back has really thrown me off track and sent my mind into overdrive. I couldn't even think straight, let alone talk straight.

"Yeah, sounds cool. The date bit I mean," Matt replied, flashing me that smile that made me weak at the knees. I could get used to him being around. My mind momentarily flickered back to Franks smile, but I shook the image away so I could concentrate on Matt.

"Okay, so if you go back to yours, and then I'll pick you up around seven. That sound good?" I asked, my confidence rising drastically as I passed him a good old fashioned post-it note so he could write his address on it. This was no teen movie, I didn't magically know where he lived like characters in those films do.

"Yeah, sounds awesome. I'll see you then," he said, leaning in and pecking my cheek before pulling his shirt on and leaving the room.

After he'd gone, I just sat in the silent room, not knowing what to think about. There were so many thoughts whizzing around in my mind, but there was one question that stood out amongst them all, and that was; Have I just made a huge mistake?

I mean, sure Matt was a really nice guy, hot too, but I didn't feel the same around him as I did around Frank. But I did also need to move on...Frank was unreliable in my books, and I couldn't see myself getting into a trustworthy relationship with him. Who knew what else he could be hiding from me, or who knows when he just picks up and leaves again?

There was a slight knock at the door that interrupted my thoughts, and Linda poked her head in. "Where's Frank?" I asked, as she made her way towards me.

"He's just setting up some stuff, he's staying here for a couple of nights before he goes back to...where-ever,"

"You still don't know,"

"He said he's still not completely on his feet, but he's pretty much there, which is why he still won't tell me where he's been staying. When he told me that he looked worried though. I'm a bit worried about where he's staying,"

"Well, it's safe enough. The fact he's still alive proves that,"

"I guess you're right. Anyway, the reason I came up here was to talk about that Matt boy,"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"You just had to announce to Frank that he was your boyfriend, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. Why shouldn't I?"

"Because it's not true,"

"It's half true,"

"Gerard! You're being stupid,"

"No I'm not! He was for leaving in the first place. He's got pretty good fucking timing if I do say so myself."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I was..." I started, before glancing at the floor and whimpering. "I was finally getting over him. I saw Matt and all of a sudden, Frank wasn't important to me any more. I didn't mind if I never saw him again, because Matt was there and I felt I stood a chance with him, and then today Frank just...just re-appeared,"

"Well, normally it's when you get over what keeps you awake at night, that it comes back into your life*,"

I looked at her, my mouth gaping slightly. She was right. Not wanting to look at her knowing face, I glanced away from her. It just happened to be over her shoulder where I saw a small figure standing in my doorway. Frank. He was looking at the floor, looking so small and defenseless.

Linda saw me looking and she placed her hand on my knee. "He really is sorry for leaving,"

"I don't care," I said, coldly, my eyes still fixed upon the figure in the door way. I knew that he could hear this conversation, and I was glad. This was closure for me, it was showing myself that I could get over him. I would.

"Why?"

"Because I've moved on," I answered harshly before standing up and walking past him, swaying my hips in an almost seductive manner as I strode past him. I hoped he was watching, and I hoped he regretted leaving me behind as he went off to do...whatever it was he went away to do.

I was over him.I know I was...I really did hope I was anyway.