If I Knew Who You Were

Matt climbed out of my car in front of - you guessed it - that restaurant. I noticed instantly that this didn't feel the same as when I'd brought Frank here, but maybe that was because Frank had already stopped by now, assuming that he had to pay his share. Also when Frank was here there was such an innocence about him. He'd admitted that he'd never really been with anyone else before, and he seemed shy and almost nervous. Matt was confident, which in a way was a good thing, because he didn't have much of a similarity to Frank.

Frank was so darned sweet-- But that doesn't matter...because I'm over him! Or so I keep telling myself anyway.

"Wow, it's pretty expensive here," Matt said as he caught a glance of the menu hanging up by the front of the restaurant. I half hoped that he would be reluctant to go in, but he wasn't, just carried on walking. So, maybe he was too good to be true? Or was I just expecting too much? I can't expect the whole deal, can I?

Not unless you're with Frank

Shut up!

We were seated and we looked over the menus again, this time choosing what we wanted. I could faintly smell the deodorant that he was wearing and if I must admit, he didn't smell half bad!

"What're you getting?" I asked curiously, switching my mind from the way he smelt and onto something more normal.

"Vegetarian lasagna,"

I swear, I almost swallowed my tongue. "You're vegetarian?"

"Yeah, haven't been for long, but I watched something on TV that made me go off meat completely!" he chuckled slightly. Damn. Okay, so he has one similarity to Frank.

Two if you count the fact he's hot

Fine. Two.

Three if you count...

Shut up!

"You don't mind if I get chicken, do you?" I asked slowly, after finishing my mental battle. I know I got a vegetarian meal when I was with Frank...but that was Frank.

"Nah, it's fine,"

The waiter came over, and took our orders and returned no long after to give us our drinks.

"So, I want you to tell me about that guy from this morning,"

"Who, Frank?"

"Yeah,"

"There's not much to tell...you know we just...we dated kinda, and then he just left,"

"What? He just left? You make it sound so simple,"

"It was...but it wasn't at the same time. It was like, the reasoning behind him leaving was complicated but when he left, he just...it was so easy for him. He didn't even stop to think about me. Eight months he was gone. Eight months! And then he just...just fuckin' shows up on the doorstep,"

"Why did he leave?"

"Because...My Dad kinda has something against poor people, or people of a lower 'social class' than us, which I don't really get. Anyway, Frank was living in my house the whole time, but I wasn't allowed to know because he was considered poor, but anyway we met, on accident I guess, and got to know each other and I really, really liked him. Anyway he got caught, out and about in the house with me, and my Dad flipped out, I swear. It was so messed up. Anyway Frank got kicked out and he hasn't been back for eight months, and now...now here he is,"

"Okay...I don't really get it, but a minute ago, you said that it was easy for him, and he didn't stop to think about you? Did you ever think about what was happening for him? He'd had to hide from you that whole time, to end in him being kicked out. Do you know where he went, or how he got money? I know that it's hard to be left behind Gerard, but you got to keep your home and your life style, he had to go and make it out on his own,"

Matt's words hit into me like a bulldozer. He really was right, and I guess I had been pretty selfish about the whole situation.

"I guess I'll just always be a selfish rich kid," I sighed, as the food got placed in front of us. In a way, it kind of hurt that Matt didn't say anything, but when someone who is blatantly selfish admits to being selfish, what are you supposed to say?

We ate in pretty much silence, and I hated myself for explaining everything that happened with Frank. It's not really good date talk is it? To bring up an ex who you possibly could still have feelings for. Even though I didn't...I know I didn't.

We finished our meal, and the waiter came back over with our bill. I went to pick it up from the little plate with the mints on, but Matt slapped my hand away and snatched for it himself.

I frowned slightly as he opened it up, and glanced at the price, before placing it back down on the plate and furrowing through his wallet, before pulling out an impressive sum of money, and placing it next to the bill.

I looked at him, my mouth gaping over at the fact he didn't even offer to pay, he just did it, and he looked over at me and grinned, holding up one of the shiny wrapped sweets. "Mint?"