We Got Older But We're Still Young

“Okay, so we cant steal her.” Jaime whispered to me as we stood in the corner or Delilah’s room. “But we could lie right?” He asked running his fingers through his hair, the way he always seemed to do when he was nervous. He never seemed to be relaxed at the hospital, I had only seen him here a few times but he always seemed weirdly on edge.

“I can’t lie.” I admitted shaking my head. A playful smile hinted at me as Jaime wriggled his eyebrows. I felt myself starting to lose my impulse control.

“I’m pretty sure you can get whatever you want if you ask the right people… for instance the male nurse at the counter.” Jaime suggested with a sly look in his eyes as a smirk grew on his face. If he looked at me like that for any longer he could have convinced me to do anything. It was hard to notice, but there was something odd about how desperate is tone was. He really wanted to get Delilah out of here.

“Fine, but don’t forget how much you owe me.” I said sighing.

Jaime chuckled and nodded his head. “I know, I know, I can’t forget when you keep bringing it up.”

I walked out of Delilah’s dim room to the brightly lit hallway. Wandering up to the desk I smiled brightly at the male nurse. I wasn’t quite sure of his name, I’ve met him a few times before my mind still hadn’t decided if his name was Blake or Brent.

“Hey Freddi, How you been?” He asked sweetly causing me to feel even guiltier about not remembering his name.

“Hi, I’m great thanks.” I answered pushing my hair out of my eyes. “I was actually wondering if you could do me a favour.” I asked seriously.

He tried to contain a smile as he looked up at me.
“Sure thing, what do you need?”

“Delilah’s family are going on a few weeks camping trip and they desperately want her to go with them. I told them that I could go with them to keep an eye on Delilah and she’s been pretty stable lately… so I was wondering if…maybe… you could pull a couple strings?” I asked trying my hardest to sound as sweet as possible. Feeling completely guilty, I looked up at him through my eyes lashes. “It would mean a lot.”

Blake… or Brent nodded his head smiling at me. “Easy” he said before turning on his heel.

I leaned against the desk as I waited for him to get back.
My eyes found their way to Delilah’s room. Jaime sat on a chair bouncing his leg impatiently as his sister flicked through her playing cards. He looked up from Delilah to meet my gaze, grinning slightly as his eyes burned into mine causing my heart to pound a little faster. Awkwardly I smiled back before turning around to the desk.

“Don’t do this Freddi.” I whispered to myself as I ran my fingers through my long ginger hair.

“Here you go.” The male nurse said handing me a file of papers. “The staff were hoping she’d be able to go have some fun for a while. Just look after her okay.” He said smiling at me.

“Thankyou so much!” I spoke gratefully as I spun around towards Delilah’s room.

“Did it work?” Jaime asked nervously standing up from his seat. I nodded my head, handing him her release forms.

“Piece of cake.” I whispered causing Jaime to raise an eyebrow questionably.

“I swear, you’re my hero.” Jaime spoke putting his hand over his heart. My smile grew as my eyes were glued to his.

“What’s going on guys?” Delilah asked excitedly. Jaime sat beside her on the bed before giving her his mischievous grin.

“We’re getting you out of here.”

In that moment, nothing could have compared to the look of pure excitement on her face when she heard those words leave Jaime’s mouth.

---

“So where are we going first?” I asked Jaime as his gaze was focused on the road. Delilah sat in the back with her face glued to the window as she watched everything passing by.

“You’ll see.” He sung causing me to inwardly snort.

An elderly couple walking by caught my eye, causing me to turn my gaze out of the window.
A part of me wished that one day I’ll be able to be that old and that happy… but there was also a part of me that knew that things don’t work out that way for most people. Death is always right around the corner ready to jump out whenever you think that thinks are fine.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Delilah’s voice piped up, snapping me out of my trance.

“Do what Ly-ly?” Jaime asked while I spun my head around to face her.

“You keep smiling at Freddi every time she looks away. It doesn’t make any sense.” She said confused. “Why don’t you just smile at her when she’s looking?”

My glance moved over to Jaime as he grinned to himself slightly, pretending he was suddenly very interested in the road while his cheeks turned a light pink.

---

Never, had I ever seen Delilah this lively. She was standing beside Jaime with the biggest smile on her face as she looked around at surroundings. It really was nice to see her so upbeat, she didn’t even seem to notice the people glancing at her when they walked by. It angered me to see how many people were staring at her as if they had never seen someone bald before.

“We got three tickets!” Delilah exclaimed when she had reached where I was standing.

I smiled down at her “Let’s go then!”

Delilah grabbed my hand and Jaime’s hand, dragging us both onto the Ferris wheel.

“Look how far we can see!” she practically screamed as she sat against the cage of our booth.

Jaime turned to me with a smile brighter than any I had seen before, He mouthed a ‘thank you’ to me before turning his attention back to Delilah.

I watched her as she rested her head on the side of the booth as her eyes slowly started to close. I couldn’t imagine how tired she must have been. This was the first time she’d been out and about for such a long time.

My phone vibrated in my hands. With a nervous sigh I lifted it closer to my face to read the text message I had just received.


From Leda:
Did you take my blue dress?

I stared at my phone frozen as I tried to compose myself. I re- read it. No ‘How are you?’, no ‘Where are you?’ and no ‘Are you okay?’ … She was more concerned about her clothes than her sister.

“You okay, Fred?” Jaime’s voice whispered low enough for Delilah not to notice as she fell asleep. I could feel him sit beside me and lift my phone from my hands, giving it a quick glance. He put it into my bag and took hold of my hand supportively.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
I looked up slowly letting my green eyes meet his. I could feel the tears that were threatening to be released.
“She doesn’t care about me.” I whispered quietly as a few tears fell onto my face. Jaime squeezed my hand slightly.

“You don’t know that for sure.”
I shook my head repetitively. “I know she doesn’t. She watches me deal with everything and never helps. She watches everything turn to shit in front of me and still continues to live in her own little world.”
Jaime placed his arm around me, pulling me in as I quietly tried desperately not to cry.
“That might be her only way with dealing with the loss. Everybody deals differently Fred… you choose to ignore it and maybe she just chooses to drown it out. People do stupid things when they are dealing with these types of issues. Hell I’ve done some stupid things that I really regret.”
I sat up allowing myself to see his face.
“Like what?” I asked curiously as he sighed quietly. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously before he turned back to face me.
“When I first found out about Delilah I was completely devastated. At first, when I heard how my parents wanted to deal with it, I decided that I would do what they wanted but I couldn’t… I felt too guilty and decided if she was going to… die” he choked out. “… then I would too.”

My eyes widened as Jaime spoke. I squeezed onto his hand as he smiled gratefully.
“I obviously didn’t get very far though. My parents took me to the hospital as soon as they found me with prescription drugs. I couldn’t speak to anyone at the hospital, I was too ashamed… I still am… Which is probably why I always get so nervous at hospitals, I never wanted to go back there but I swore to myself that If I wasn’t going to take the easy way out, that I was going to be there for my baby sister. I wanted her to be able to have a good life, to be able to actually live.”

I stared in disbelief at the things Jaime had just said. How could I have missed the signs that were so overwhelming.
"Not all things have to be bad Freddi. Let yourself live... let me help you." He whispered moving my ginger hair from my eyes.
All of a sudden the smell his cologne was overpowering. His hand was on my face and I could feel his pulse beating against my skin, his breath hitting my neck softly…

"It's time to get off guys" Delilah's tired voice sounded causing us both to separate. She smiled at us knowingly. For a 7 year old she definitely was observant.

"Come on, Ly-ly." Jaime spoke, taking her hand. His eyes met mine as he innocently gave me a smile and for the first time in a while, I felt like there was someone who actually cared, someone who was going to make sure I was okay.