Call It Karma

“Hey,” John beamed walking through the door with a giant smile on his face. Elliot raised her eyebrow, wondering why he had decided to acknowledge her presence after this morning. She crossed her arms expectantly, waiting for an explanation to the whole Sophie-phone ordeal earlier.

“Hi,” Elliot said finally, after John’s smile had managed to soften her furrowed brow. Sophie giggled loudly as she tackled John in a tiny hug, wrapping her arms around his legs and looking up at him fondly.

“Ah, there’s my girl! As promised, we will go to the toy store later and you can pick out whatever you like!” John laughed as he picked Sophie up, Elliot narrowed her eyes at the man standing in front of her, something had changed about him. She couldn’t exactly put her finger on it, but she curled the side of her mouth pensively.

“Feel free to explain anytime,” Elliot shrugged, she had changed into a pair of denim shorts and a tank top. After all it was summer time, ergo hot as fuck and it was John, Elliot felt a certain familiar comfort with him. She didn’t have to dress up to feel confident, but she bit her lip at the realization.

“Sooooo, I may have used Sophie as a spy to find out if you still had feelings for me,” John muttered quickly under his breath hoping Elliot wouldn’t understand him. Unfortunately for him, she did as her eyes widened.

“You used a three-year-old to spy on me?! What are you teaching her?” Elliot whispered harshly as Sophie gleamed proudly. She crossed her arms, unsure of how to feel. After all, she was flattered that John had even cared enough to have Sophie spy on her, but she felt as if her private conversation had been violated.

“Oh, Kenny and Maddie do it to each other all the time,” John rolled his eyes as he put Sophie back on the ground. He stood up straight with his crooked smile on his lips, he soaked in her image and felt his heart twinge. Both of them were feeling mixed emotions, the hurt, confusion and nervousness rushed through their veins.

“I have a hard time believing that,” Elliot said gruffly as she uncrossed her arms to lean against the counter. She couldn’t look him in the eyes without their old memories rushing back to her. They way that he would wrap her into his arms and kiss her first thing in the morning, despite the fact they had morning breath. The way he whispered how beautiful she was, even though she knew she looked like a mess. It was all too much.

“Should we go?” John chirped, changing the subject as he fished for his car keys out of his back pocket. Elliot nodded, grabbing her blackberry and putting it into the pocket of her shorts. She followed him out the door and suddenly felt as if she was twelve-years-old hanging out with a crush, unable to formulate words.

They both got into the car and John began driving to an unknown location, humming along softly with the radio as Elliot tried to collect her thoughts. Was this normal? Could they ever have a normal relationship that began with a plot to break his heart? After all he had broken hers too. She finally turned to see his face, older, but happy. Could any of the good times really last?

“John, why did you have Sophie spy on me?” Elliot finally said, breaking the comfortable silence between them. She had tried going figure it out in her head, but it was like a complex math equation she didn’t even know how to solve.

“Because, you were the one who got away, Elliot,” John muttered, a sadness washing over his eyes as he turned to look at her once they had stopped at a red light. Elliot bit her lip as she felt a pang in her heart. “After you left, I tried to dive into my band and date other girls, and one some levels it worked. I could forget about you, but once I laid down to sleep and my thoughts started bubbling up. I wondered where you were, what you were doing, if you had forgotten about me…” He drifted off, his eyes staring at the road ahead of them.

Elliot had to stop and think for a while. Their relationship, while brief, had a lasting effect on her as well. “I missed you a lot, John, but we were so young. I was still growing up,” Elliot whispered quietly. The one big regret she had was walking away from John. It was all she had ever known, when the times get rough, you move on. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you and I think it scared me when I did anyways.”

“Elliot, you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” John snapped, clearly aggravated from the conversation topic. “You took the easy way out instead of the right one. I had just never been so hurt from one person leaving before,” John’s voice started off angry, but dwindled to a scared whisper.

“John, what do you think would’ve happened if I had stayed?” Elliot asked, both of them sitting in a parked car in a busy parking lot. People walking by stared out of curiosity, but Elliot was determined to figure out what he thought.

“I think we would’ve fought a lot, and made up a lot. I think you would’ve learned that somethings are worth the tough times. I think we’d being taking our relationship to the next level and I think we’d both be happy- really, really happy,” John answered honestly, although it almost seemed perplexing. His voice sounded so sad despite the happy things he was saying. Elliot bit her lip again, she was angry with herself, because she thought the same thing.

“I agree, John. I spend so many nights thinking about us, like the what-ifs and stuff,” Elliot bit her lip, feeling tears pricking at her eyes. There was a sudden realization, what did I do?, nothing had ever effected her so much, or scared her so much in her life.

“You know the irony is, you probably saved me from myself with that little plan of yours. I remember being so angry, that our relationship was a lie. It took me a long time till I realized, it wasn’t a lie. Everything I felt for you made me realize how badly I had treated other people, how much hurt I had caused. You changed my life,” John admitted, Elliot couldn’t tell if he was angry or sad. There was so much emotion in his voice, but his face looked so relaxed. They both felt so comfortable around each other, but at the same time their breaths seemed to leave their lungs.

“You hurt me when you just wouldn’t listen to me and you just stopped talking to me,” Elliot whispered, recalling the night Kennedy had spilled the beans about her scheme. “I just don’t want you to think I, like, stopped caring about you totally, I just was so hurt and sad that I ran. It’s what I do, John.”

They sat in silence for a while longer, everything had been put on the table and all they had to decide was what to do with it. Elliot bit her lip, wishing that John would say something, anything. Finally, he cleared his throat and turned to face her with a huge smile on his face and his hand extended, “Hi, I’m John.”

Elliot sat dumbfounded for a while until she realized what he was doing, then she reached over and took his hand in hers. The feeling of his skin on hers revived the electricity between them, “I’m Elliot.”

“Really nice to meet you,” John laughed awkwardly, his eyes drifting between her lips and her eyes. She let out a giggle as well, retracting her hand shyly and trying to mask the bright pink blush on her cheeks.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

John opened the passenger door for her and led her into a small local restaurant and Elliot smiled, realizing it had been the one they went to after one of shows. She stared at him, realizing how much both of them had changed. She sat across from him and stole looks at him, when their eyes met the corners of their lips curled up involuntarily.

“Seriously, you need to eat. You look like you just escaped from someone’s basement,” John grinned at her, Elliot’s eyebrows raised.

“Oh great, ‘cause that’s what every girl wants to hear,” Elliot muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes as John’s laugh filled the air. She narrowed her eyes at him playfully before scanning the menu and deciding on a salad.

“You’re beautiful, Elliot, you always knew that. You never needed anyone’s opinion to feel a particular way about yourself,” John said, his eyes slightly panicked as if he had blown the date.

“Yeah, I am pretty fucking hot,” Elliot laughed sarcastically. She had accepted her body after years of self-doubt. Of course John never saw that side of her, she was good at acting perfect. “You’re not too bad yourself there, sailor,” Elliot grinned, nudging his foot with hers.

“I know,” John smirked, flipping imaginary hair over his shoulder. Both of them laughing, Elliot especially. She remembered this side of him, the side he didn’t let many people see. She was grateful she was one of them.

After dinner, John and Elliot drove back to Maddie’s house talking as if no time had passed. They had reminisced on old times and shared the adventures they had experienced in their four years apart. He pulled into the driveway behind Kennedy’s car, but both of them quickly grew silent as the sounds of muffled shouting came through the door. Elliot’s eyes widened with fear and panic as she turned to John, who had an equally worried expression on his face.

Elliot opened the door and the words exploded towards her, “Kennedy! Why are you still talking to this girl?! Don’t give me excuses, give me the answer!” Madison screamed at a frustrated Kennedy. The lights were all off except for the kitchen light, Elliot scanned the hallways for Sophie, but she was probably asleep.

“I told you, Maddie, there is nothing going on there. She is a friend and I am not going to stop talking to her because you’re jealous!” Kennedy replied, his volume was lower, but there was a fierceness in his voice that was frightening. Elliot was only more surprised by this, she had never seen Kennedy this angry.

“She’s not just your friend, she’s your ex-girlfriend! She was the one who told you to break up with me! AND she’s so clearly still in love with you! I would be crazy not to tell you not to talk to her again!” Madison matched Kennedy’s volume and aggressiveness. The tiny blonde seemed even smaller next to Kennedy, but she stood her ground regardless.

“Guys,” John finally spoke, his face serious and his tone just as intense. They both turned to see John and Elliot standing in an open doorway, both shifting uncomfortably.

“I’m gonna go check on Sophie,” Elliot muttered awkwardly as she walked towards Sophie’s room. She knocked lightly on the door and cracked it open to see Sophie’s eyes wide and her small hands clasped on her ears. Elliot’s heart broke at the sight, she closed the door behind her and sat on the edge of Sophie’s bed.

“Why awe Mommy and Daddy fightin’?” Sophie asked with tears pooling in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Sophie. Elliot hugged her tightly, and softly stroked her hair.

“Because they love each other,” Elliot finally whispered after trying to simplify the situation for a child to understand. Elliot bit her lip and decided to clarify so Sophie didn’t grow up with an incorrect concept of love. “You know how Mommy and Daddy don’t fight all the time?” Sophie nodded curiously. “Well, sometimes people disagree, it happens with all sorts of people. Parents and kids, boyfriends and girlfriends, friends do it too. So, when you fight, you can either walk away or you can sort through it- usually through fighting till someone says they’re sorry. Mommy and Daddy are fighting through it because they love each other and they don’t wanna give up on each other.”

“Do you fight with Uncle Johnny?” Sophie asked meekly, her eyes as big as moons. Elliot chuckled to herself and nodded. “But you stay because you love him?” Sophie asked, this time for confirmation that she understood this concept correctly. Elliot bit her lip, she had left, but she wished she had stayed. Instead, she simply nodded her head. Elliot heard John mediating the situation and she played the music box on Sophie’s bedside table.

“They’re gonna be quiet now, go to sleep, sweetie,” Elliot whispered, tucking Sophie in quickly and giving her a quick kiss on the top of her head. Sophie still looked confused, but nodded before closing her eyes. Elliot sighed once she had closed the door behind her and saw Madison crying with Eric in her arms and Kennedy clearly frustrated running his fingers through his hair.

Love wasn't as complicated or as simple as people made it out to be, Sophie would learn that as she grew older. Elliot sighed, she didn't even know what people in love did.