Pallid

I think that maybe it's because Ulysses was one of those trust fund baby kind of kids with the nice condo and fancy car and the whole decadence thing and so on. Maybe that was why Celeste went after him. Or that's why Rita did, I don't know.

Celeste, my Celeste, wasn't that kind of girl. I don't know, maybe I never knew her and what if she's just been super money hungry all along and was just using me until she found someone better?

(Namely, Ulysses.)

But I don't think so, because Celeste is a lot of things, but she's not that kind of person.

Right?

I'm poor as all hell, (well, not really but I'm not exactly made out of money like Ulysses is) so she had to had to have liked me for something else at first. I mean, what's she going to use me for? All I can give her is my love.

And I know that's stupid, but what else can I do?

I glance at the door as it opens--because locking it is just pointless if I don't have much to my name and if Celeste is going to come and go as she pleases--watching her as she kicks off her boots (because she can't ever take them off normally) and tosses her coat on the floor. She's wearing a torn up pair of tights and an old shirt (mine, which would just pour salt on the wound if she didn't look so damn good in it), messing up her hair with her hand as she slides to the small kitchen on her socks. She grabs a wine cooler--I keep them around for the rare day when I feel like having a drink--and sits down next to me, trying to open the bottle by herself.

She frowns and thrusts it in my hand, frowning a little. I open it with the hem of my shirt.

Her drinking worries me sometimes. I mean, do I wish she'd stop? Obviously. But she won't because she wants to be numb, but it's not healthy and it's starting to really worry me.

I guess I'm not helping matters much.

"Here," I say, handing it back to her. She takes it from me with a small smile and squeezes my hand.

"You know, right?" she asks quietly, slipping her hand out of mine, glancing at me. "I mean, you...know, don't you?"

She won't say it because she's only a little buzzed and not even really drunk and I know I'm not going to hear it leave her mouth unless she's piss drunk. So I just nod and watch her sip her drink.

"Yeah, Celeste." I sigh, because I really don't know anymore, but I don't want to fight tonight because I'm just tired, so I'll lie and say I do know when I actually don't. "I know."

"Cool."