The Reckless and the Brave.

Summer flew a few feet backwards. I turned around and saw a furious looking woman standing in the door frame. I recognized her as the same woman who’d pulled Summer away from the window the first time I saw her. She ignored Summer completely and turned her attention to me.

“Who are you young man and what on earth do you think you’re doing with my daughter?” She demanded. “I’m Alex.” I said. “Alex Gaskarth, I’m a friend of your daughter.” The woman’s face flushed in anger and she turned to her daughter. ‘Why didn’t I know about this?” Summer stared at her, a hateful look in her eyes. Her mother, however, didn’t see it, or if she did, she choose to ignore it.

“Young man, I think it’s better if you leave now.” The woman said. “I have some things to discuss with my daughter.” I looked at Summer and she gave me a reassuring nod. I took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “See you later okay.” I said softly, so her mother couldn’t hear. Summer nodded and squeezed back.

I quickly left the room. I had a bad feeling about this and I knew this wasn’t going to have an happy ending.
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“WHAT!? She can’t do that!” I screamed, slamming my fist on the desk. Summer and I were sitting in Dr. Sam’s office. Summer’s mother had left a little while ago after talking to Summer and Dr. Sam. “Summer is an adult.” I said. “She’s 22 years old for godsakes. Isn’t she allowed to make her own decisions?”

“Alex, please calm down.” Samantha said. “I know Summer is a legal adult, however she’s not allowed to make her own decisions as long as she’s a patient in this clinic.” “Bullshit.” I muttered, but plopped down in my chair again. “Isn’t there anything we can do?” I asked hopeful. Samantha shook her head. “I’m very sorry, but her mother has forbidden you to have any contact with Summer whatsoever.”

“So I’m not even allowed to say hello to her every once in a while?” I asked. Dr. Sam shook her head. “I’m very sorry guys, but I have no authority here. It’s your mother’s decision Summer, you know just as well as I do there is nothing we can do about it.” Summer nodded. Did she say why?

“Yes, she told me she didn’t want you to get crazy ideas about getting better and that you might live a normal live. She told me she didn’t want you to get your hopes up, especially not because of some guy.” Dr. Sam shook her head in disbelieve. “Which is absurd of course. I wouldn’t have allowed Alex to see you if I even for a second thought he’d be a bad influence on you.” Summer nodded, looking defeated, but I wasn’t giving up. “No! No, no, no! I’m not letting her do this to you, there has to be a way. I don’t care how, but I’m not letting her keep me from seeing you.” I vowed.

Silent tears were rolling down Summer’s cheeks. “Oh sweetheart!” dr. Sam cried out and pulled a box of tissues from under her desk, offering her one. Summer took it, but couldn’t stop the tears from falling. She hates me. Every time something good happens in my life she has to take it away from me, it’s like she’s punishing me for what happened. Like she still thinks it’s my fault. “Oh honey.” Dr Sam, mumbled. I could see she wanted to comfort Summer somehow, but didn’t want to scare her.

Without even a second thought I wrapped her up in my arms. “Don’t cry, please, it’s going to be okay. We’ll find a way, I promise.” I mumbled against her hair. She nodded. I have to get back. I’ll see you soon okay? “See you soon.” I said and got up too. I was about to leave the room, but Dr. Sam stopped me.

“Alex, could you stay for one more minute please?” Dr Sam said, looking concerned. “Sure.” I said, looking over my shoulder to see Summer being escorted back to her room by one of the nurses. I sat back down in the chair. Dr Sam sighed, pushing her glasses up a little. “I’m a little concerned Alex.” “About what?” I asked, a little scared, Dr Sam usually wasn’t this serious. “I have a feeling you and Summer…. How should I put this…. It seems you might be feeling a little more for her than just friendship.”

I was stunned, was it that obvious!? “I..I… “ I stammered, but she caught me off. “You don’t have to tell me Alex, it seems like you’re not sure of it either, but I wantyou to be careful. I want you to make sure about your feelings for Summer, before you act on it, in any way. I would hate to see either one of you get hurt. I want to make sure it’s Summer you’re in love with and not just the idea of being with someone again or that you’re simple trying to fill that hole Bailey left when she died.”

I nodded. “I know. I will. I’m just really confused right now, but I would never intentionally hurt Summer, no matter how I feel about her, she’s my friend and her trust means a lot to me.” Dr Sam, gave me a small smile. “I know Alex, I know how much you care about her, but I don’t think you understand. If you hurt Summer like that or break her trust…. Well, I don’t think she’ll ever recover from that.” She sighed. “The fact that she’s trusting you is something we never even thought would be possible. She opened up to you and let you closer than anyone else since she came here. If something would happen that would make her stop trusting you I’m afraid, things will be even worse than when she first got here.”

I swallowed loudly, not expecting a speech like this. “I understand.” I said. “I’ll be careful, I promise.” “I didn’t mean to scare you Alex, I don’t want you to…. ignore whatever it is you’re feeling. I’m just asking you to think it through.” “I will.” I said and left the office.

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A little while later, back in my room, I was slowly coming to a conclusion. I would never want to hurt Summer, in any way, but maybe in order to do that the best thing was to stay away. Perhaps her mother had been right to keep us apart. Maybe Summer had been wrong and was her mother only trying to prevent her daughter from getting hurt.

Hours and hours of mentally torturing myself with the question whether or not I was good enough for Summer I made a decision. No matter how much I was breaking my own heart, again, I had to do what was best for Summer and that was leave her alone.

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I couldn’t sleep that night and I figured Summer couldn’t either, so when I heard a soft knock on the door I simply told her to come in.

She was wearing the same nightgown as last night, her brown curls pulled back in a low ponytail. She sat down on the bed, her back against the wall and her legs crossed. I sat in the same position, only my back was against the headboard. I didn’t speak, just stared at her, drinking in ever single one of her features.

She blushed a little. Why are you staring? I shifted my gaze from her to the paper and kept it there. “Dunno.” I mumbled. I looked back up at her. “Look, Summer, I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should lay low for a while. No visits, not even ones like this, until your mother has calmed down a bit.”

Summer’s expression changed, her smile faded and a frown formed on her pretty face. Why, it’s not like she’s ever going to approve! Alex, what’s going on? “Nothing, nothing, I just don’t want either one of us to get into trouble.” I lied quickly. Summer nodded thoughtfully. Alright, but only a week. I’m not going to let her dictate my life any longer. There was a fire in her eyes I’d never seen before.

“Haven’t you even considered she’s just worried about you and wants to make sure you’re alright?” Summer shook her head. No, that’s definitely NOT what she’s doing. Pretty sure she just gets a kick out of it. My mother doesn’t care about me, only about reputation and public image. She hasn’t even said one word, not one, about the fact I let you hug me. Any other mother would have seen the progress I’ve made ever since I met you, but not her. I think she’s afraid I might be able to get out of here with your help. Which, of course, means I have to move back in with my parents and once that happens it will only be a matter of time before people will find out what happened and that’s the last thing my parents want.

“Because it might affect you?” Summer shook her head. No because it will destroy their public image as the perfect parents. If it’s up to them I’ll be in here for the rest of my life. “I’m sorry babe.” I mumbled and scooted closer to her. Stop apologizing. “Sorry.” I chuckled and she snuggled closer to me, wiping away a few tears.

It was heartbreaking to see her like this and her story almost made me reconsider my decision. But it didn’t change anything about the fact I might hurt her and I didn’t want that to happen, so I stuck to my earlier conclusion, Summer was better off without me.

“You should go.” I said and slit away from her. Summer nodded. One week right? “Yeah, one week.” I said, my heart breaking already.