The Reckless and the Brave.

Summer’s P.O.V.

I looked up at Jeremy who was sitting on my bed, softly strumming his guitar. I recognized it as a Blink 182 song, his favorite band, but I didn’t know them well enough to know the name of the song. I was sitting across from him, watching him play. He looked up at me and smiled, he started playing a more familiar tune. It was “Iris” by the Goo Goo Doll, my favorite song. “Come on Summer, sing with me.” I did as he asked and soon enough our voices filled the room.

I studied my brother as he played the last part of the song, for once his eyes weren’t bloodshot and his smile was genuine. I smiled, I love these rare moments where we just sat in our rooms and made music. We used to do this a lot more when I was younger, but things had changed in the past year.

Jeremy wasn’t the sweet, nice older brother he’d once been anymore, the drugs had changed that. Of course there were moments, like this one right now, when I could see a glimpse of the old Jeremy, but there were rare, very rare, especially since the big fight he had with our parents.

Jeremy is 18 and about to finish high school. My parents want him to go to college, but Jeremy has other plans, once summer is over he’s leaving to tour the country with his band. He told mom and dad a few weeks ago and it resulted into the biggest fight they’ve ever had. He’s hardly been home ever since, he’s staying with one of his band mates, but he comes home every once in a while to see me.

“Jer?” I asked softly. “What’s wrong Sum?” He asked. I wanted to ask him when he was going to stop using, but I remembered the last time I’d tried. Jeremy had gotten so angry he’d hit me, of course he apologized right away, like even he couldn’t believe what he’d done. I forgave him, but hadn’t brought up his drug use ever since.

“When are you gonna teach me how to play?” I asked, pointing at the guitar. Jeremy chuckled. “I’ll be done with school in less than a month, I promise I will teach you over the summer.” “Promise?” I said. Jeremy hugged me. “I promise sweetheart.” I smiled and hugged him back, glad to have my brother back for a little while.

He looked at the clock. “I’m heading over to Brain’s, want me to give you a ride to Jazzy’s place?” I nodded. Jeremy dropped me of at my best friend’s house, I was about to leave the car when he stopped me. “I’m picking you up at 8. Don’t go walking home alone okay? Especially not when it’s dark.” I nodded. “Promise me.” He insisted .”I promise.” I said and got out of the car.

I watched him drive off, wondering why he was behaving so strangely. He never had a problem with me walking home alone before, what had changed? I shrugged it off and figured he was just looking out for me.

But before I could give it another though Jazzy came running out of her house. “Summer! Oh my god, you’re not going to believe this! He kissed me! Cole KISSED me! My first kiss can you believe it!?” She screamed. “He kissed you!? I my god!” I squealed. “Let’s go inside, you HAVE to tell me everything!”
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I looked at the clock, it was getting closer and closer to 9 p.m. and there was still no sign of Jeremy. I sighed, he was probably at one of his friends, too high to remember he promised to pick me up. “You want me to call you parents so they can pick you up? “ Jazzy’s mom asked. I shook my head. “No that’s okay, it’s only 3 blocks away, I can walk.” I said. I hugged Jazzy goodbye and left.

I checked one last time to see if Jeremy was somewhere near, but I saw nobody. I sighed and started walking.

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It was getting dark and a strange feeling crept over me. I was almost certain someone was watching me or even following me.

I carefully snuck a peek over my shoulder and was relieved to see no one. I was just being paranoid. I chuckled at my own ridiculous behavior. I slowed down my pace a little and turned the corner…. Just to bump into someone.

I looked up to see a group of 5 boys, all somewhere around my brothers ago, leaning against the walls of an alley. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled, blushing bright red and trying to get passed them. But as soon as I took one step they blocked me from getting any further. I lifted my head to look at the 5 boys. “Excuse me, could you please move out of the way?” I asked politely, trying to sound confident even though I was shaking inside.

The boy in front of me just smirked and looked down at me before looking over his shoulder. “This her?” He asked one of his friends. The other boy nodded. “Yep, that’s his sister.” I froze. These guys know Jeremy.

The first guy grabbed my face. “She’s pretty.” He mused. “Like a pretty, little doll.” I tried to get away, but one of the other guys took a hold of my arms. “Let me go!” I screamed. “Can’t do love.” The second guy spoke, the one who identified me as Jeremy’s sister. “You see we need to sent your brother a message and the only way he’s going to understand he can’t mess with us…. Is through you, his precious little sister.”

“W-what do you mean?” I stuttered, even more terrified than before. The boy came closer, his nose almost touching mine. “I mean that there’s only one way to get this message across and that is by breaking his pretty, little doll…. Tell me sweet cheeks, ever been kissed?” He laughed and pressed his lips against mine.

I quickly pulled away and tried to spit In his face. “Leave me alone!” I screamed. “Let me go!” I kept screaming, as loud as I could, but no one came. Not when the dragged me into the alley. Not when I got pushed onto the ground. Not even when I heard them tear my dress to shreds.

I struggled, I kicked, I tried to get away, but there were 5 of them and I was all on my own. They were too strong for me, but I refused to give up. Not even when they had me pint to the ground so I couldn’t move an inch. That’s when I did the only thing I could do: scream.

Soon everything became fuzzy and eventually everything went black. I couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t hear anything, except the sounds of my own screams echoing in my ears.
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They found me eventually, longer after the 5 boys had run off. Some random woman, walking her dog, who just happened to walk passed that particular alley. She screamed too, only hers was short and full of horror.

An ambulance arrived, along with a police car. They started talking to me, soft, soothing words, trying not to scare me. A woman with blond hair wearing a uniform put a blanket over my shoulder. I clung to it, trying to protect what little dignity I had left.

The woman put a hand on my shoulder and I froze. Images from earlier came rushing back to me and I screamed. I screamed and screamed until my lungs gave out, but that didn’t stop me, I just kept screaming.

Suddenly a familiar voice snapped me out of my terror. “S-summer.” My head snapped up to see my brother standing amongst the people that had gathered around my little scene. He pushed one of the police officers away and hurried to my side. “I’m so sorry baby. I’m so so sorry.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around me. I leaned into his embrace and started crying.

Jeremy kept mumbling apologizes in my ear until I finally collapsed against him.

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I don’t know how long it was before I woke up again. But when I opened my eyes I felt numb, like I was surrounded by thick, heavy clouds that were blocking me from the outside world. Slowly my mind began to register the room around me, it took me a while to realize I was in a hospital. Suddenly I became aware of voices, they seemed to be coming from the hallway.

“I’m not sure how she will react once she wakes up. According to her friend Summer left around 9, which means she’d been laying in that alley for several hours. Maybe if we’d found her sooner things would have been different, but it’s very likely Summer has been severely traumatized.

The door to my room opened a little further and I stared at the two people who entered. Somewhere in the back of my mind I did recognize them as my parents, but I pushed myself deeper into the mattress when they came closer.

“Summer? Honey?” Mom said and placed a hand on my arm. The second I felt her skin touching mine I panicked. I kicked and trashed around in the bed, trying to get away from her. I soft sob escaped her lips and she was led away by my father. I hid underneath the blankets, wishing I could die right here and now.

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They kept me in the hospital for another 3 weeks. But it wasn’t until after the first week the nightmares started. Every single night they came back and I relieved the whole thing again and again. Every night I woke up, shaking violently, covered in sweat. They tried everything to stop the nightmares, but no therapy or medication worked.

3 weeks later and they still didn’t know what to do with me, so they did the only thing they could do, they sent me home.

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Days turned into weeks and weeks into months until 6 of them had passed. I still felt numb, like an empty shell of myself, like I no longer really existed in this world. I felt like a ghost, looking at my life from a distance. I no longer felt in touch with reality.

Sometimes my brain did register things, like seeing my brother for the last time. He was standing in the doorway staring at me, his eyes, full of sadness and guilt. He came closer to the bed, but for once I didn’t try to get away or even move. He softly kissed my forehead, but I didn’t even flinch, I just sat there, staring at the wall. “I’m so sorry.” He mumbled and left.

Ever since ‘the incident’, as my parents call it, my brother had been the only person I allowed to come close. I don’t blame him for what happened. I love my brother, more than anyone in the world and I hated seeing him so devastated.

I wanted to tell him it was okay, that I didn’t blame him, but I couldn’t, it was like my body had shut down after that night. I hadn’t been able to utter a single world after the ‘incident’, not even to save my brother’s life.

The next day my parents told me he was dead. He’d killed himself, overdosed on sleeping pills, because he no longer could live with the guilt. But I no longer had the energy to care, not even about my brother.

That’s when my parents made their decision. Seeing not even my own brothers dead could shock me back into reality, nothing probably could. Or maybe they just had enough and now finally had the opportunity to get rid of me.

I’d put my money on option number two if I were you.
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It was an hour long drive from our house in the city to the clinic. Once we arrived my parents got out of the car and took my bags out of the trunk. I was vaguely aware of the fact that they were talking to me, but I didn’t move. I kept staring at the building in front of me.

The clinic was a small, bright white building, with a small sign about the door with the name on it. It didn’t look haunted or even scary like I’d expected, it look more like a very small hospital actually, but to me it looked like hell on earth.

I heard my father tell me to get out of the damn car, but I ignored him. Why couldn’t they take care of me like proper parents should? Why did they want to hide me, put me away? I watched my parents take my stuff inside. A few minutes later a woman in a nurse outfit came outside.

She opened the car door, but didn’t come inside. “Hello sweetheart, my name is Destiny. Are you going to get out of the car? There are people in there who really want to meet you.” She sounded like she was talking to a 5 year old. I wanted to scream at the tone of her voice, but of course I couldn’t. Instead I stared at her with a blank expression on her face.

Destiny sighed. “Look sweetheart, we all really want you to come inside. Don’t you want to come inside? It’s a lot nicer in there than in this small, stuffy car.” I wanted to tell her I’d rather spend the rest of my life in this car than spend even a second inside that building, but obviously I didn’t.

Destiny sighed again when I didn’t move an inch and went back inside. Not long after that my mother came back outside. “Summer, love, we only want what’s best for you. We can no longer take care of you and we want you to get better. These people can help you baby.” She pleaded, but I turned my head away and stared at the white building in front of me.

Next was my father who came pleading for me to get out of the car. Then my parents tried it together and after that 3 other nurses came and tried to talk me into stepping out of the car. But I ignored them all, I just sat in the back seat, staring at that white hell on earth in front of me.

I don’t know how long they all stood there, trying to persuade me to come outside. Eventually they got sick of it I guess, because suddenly I was being pulled out of the car. I started to panic at the touches, but before I could react I felt a tingling pain in my leg and everything went black.

When I woke up I was laying in a bed. I opened my eyes to see my mother sitting next to me, stroking my hair, I cringed away from her immediately. She looked at me with a hurt expression on her face, but moved away nevertheless.

“I’m so sorry baby.” She said. “But it was the only way to get you inside, without making a scene.” I rolled my eyes, of course making a scene was the only thing my mom was worried about.

I studied the room I was in. Everything was white, just like the rest of the building, and had no personality whatsoever. There was nothing to make it look somewhat nice. Just basic furniture, also white. To me it felt and looked like a jail cell.

A nurse came in, smiled at me an started babbling about house rules and god knows what else. Once she was finished she pointed to the small desk next to the window. “Everything I just told you can be found in that folder on the desk. There are also a few notebooks and pens in there, it’s easier to communicate with each other that way don’t you think?” She smiled again and left.

I looked at my parents who were standing in the doorway. “We have to go darling, but we’ll be back soon for a visit.” My mother said. I shook my head and shot them a pleading look. I took a notebook from the desk. No, please, don’t leave me here. I scribbled down and handed it to her. “I’m sorry darling, but we don’t have a choice. This is the best place for you to be right now.” She said. Please! I tried again. But there was no changing their mind. “Don’t worry darling, it’s only for a little while. You’ll be out of here in a year.” She said and with that they left.

I sat down on the floor, leaning against the bed and cried. Silent tears streamed down my face. I didn’t know how long I sat there like that. Suddenly I heard my mother’s voice echo inside my head. ‘You’ll be out of here in a year.’

I wiped my tears away. Crying wasn’t going to do me any good. I just had to make in through a year, one year. That shouldn’t be too hard right? Maybe I’d be out sooner than that. I’m sure that within a few weeks mom and dad will release this is all a mistake. Yes, next month or so they’ll realize I need to be home, not locked up in here.

I smiled a little and started doodling in the notebook. Yes, they’ll come to their senses soon enough. I’ll be out of here in no time.

I let the memories flood my mind and blinked the tears away. I thought of Alex, how could I tell him all this? How could I expect him to understand? I wanted to tell him, to trust him, but the walls I’d build around myself were too thick and too high to let him in that easily.

I closed my eyes again and the images of a 14 year old me, sitting in her parents car, staring at the big, white building in front of her appear in front of my eyes again.

I opened them again, my gaze fell on the calendar and realized what day it was today. June 14th, my birthday. Today was my 23rd birthday…..

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I opened it and saw Alex standing in the hallway, looking a little pale, holding a bunch of papers. He held them up for me to see. It was a file, like the ones Dr. Samantha has in her office. I took a closer look and saw the name on the file, Summer Cavanaugh.

I looked at Alex with an horrified expression on my face…. and slammed the door shut.