The Reckless and the Brave.

“She hates me.” I said and plopped down next to Mandy who was playing piano. Mandy laughed. “It’s been four days Alex. You said it yourself, she doesn’t trust people. Give her some time.” I shook my head. “No really, she hates me. She even told me so.” Mandy laughed even harder. “Wait, you’re saying she actually wrote down she hates you?” I nodded and pulled a piece of paper from my back pocket. I HATE YOU! was written down on it with big, bold letters. Mandy took the paper from me and nearly fell off the bench laughing.

Once she recovered she gave back the piece of paper. “Why does she hate you? I mean you’re one of the nicest guys I know. How on earth could someone possibly hate you?” I shrugged and thought back at meeting Summer earlier today.

*flashback*

I was sitting in one of the chair in the common room of the South Wing. Summer showed up ten minutes later followed by one of the nurses. She had a frown on her face like usual. But this time she did something different. Instead of sitting on the other side of the room, ignoring me she sat down across from me she started writing in her notebook. She handed me the piece of paper.

Just to let you know, I don’t like this. I don’t want to ‘talk’ to you about my problems or whatever. I don’t know why Dr. Samantha thought this was a good idea, because it’s not. You can leave now.

I shook my head. “Nope, can’t do, I promised Dr. Sam I’d do this and I’m sticking to it. Besides if it means speeding up our ‘healing process’ I’m not complaining.

She scowled at me. I HATE YOU!

“What!? Why? What did I do?” I asked. You might be able to leave in a couple of weeks, but some of us here aren’t that lucking you inconsiderate prick! “Fuck, I’m so sorry Summer.” I said, but she just stared at me with a look full of hatred. “Look I’m an idiot, I wasn’t thinking. I’m really sorry.” I tried again, but all she did was throw her pen at my head before storming out of the room.

“Half the time I didn’t know what to say and she ignores me quite a lot actually.” I said. Mandy sighed. “You know Alex, asking her about her life in the clinic won’t do you any good, so don’t do that. Find out what she likes, tell her about yourself, take one of the guitars with you next time, I don’t know.”

So that’s what I did the next day, I brought one of the guitars from the music room. I was waiting for her in the small common room in the South Wing, why they have a common room here is beyond me, most patients here aren’t even allowed to leave their room, or so I found out the other day.

I softly strummed the strings and soon I was completely lost in the music, I didn’t even realize it when Summer came in escorted by one of the nurses who quickly left. Summer was standing in the doorframe staring intensely at me and the guitar. I looked up at her and smiled. “You play?” I asked. She shook her head and took a step closer, letting her finger brush against the strings.

She took her note book and started writing. When she was done she handed me the book. My brother used to play guitar for me when we were younger. We would sit in one of our rooms and he played while I sang. I’ve always wanted to learn, but I never did.

“I could teach you if you like.” I offered. Summer hesitated but nodded ‘yes’ eventually. She sat down across from me and I handed her the guitar. “Okay good, now place your right hand here and your left hand over there.” I pointed, knowing better than to make contact again. She did as I say and gave me a questioning look as if to ask if she was doing it right. “Almost.” I said and gently adjusted her finger. She froze at my touch, took a deep breath and relax a little again. “Good, now press down on those string and strum with your other hand.”

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There was a knock on the door causing both of us to look up. “Alex? Summer?” Cindy appeared in the door way. “Ah there you two are. Summer sweetie we need to get you back to your room, it’s almost time for dinner.” Summer and I both looked at the clock and saw it was almost 6 p.m., meaning we’d been here for almost 4 hours. We looked at each other in surprise.

I took the guitar from her. “You’re doing great.” I said and she gave me a small smile, almost like a thank you. “I have an idea, how about we turn this talking thing into guitar lessons?” I asked and Summer nodded eagerly. “So I’ll see you tomorrow? Same time?” I asked and she nodded in agreement. “Alright see you tomorrow then.”

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The next day Summer was already waiting for me in the common room. She eagerly took the guitar from me, but still avoided touching me as much as possible. I tried to keep a safe distance from her as I made an attempt to explain the different chords and notes.

We didn’t ‘talk’ much that day, mostly because Summer couldn’t write with a guitar in her hands. She really was a natural at this. Soon enough she was playing a full song, a very simple one, but it was still a full song.

I clapped for her as the last note faded. “Awesome, you’re doing great. I’m pretty sure that that in a few weeks you’ll be even better than me.” I laughed. Summer smiled at my joke. She handed me the guitar and picked up her note book. Can you play again? “Sure, what do you wanna here?” Summer shrugged as if to say ‘you decide’.

After a moment of hesitation I started playing ‘Remembering Sunday’. I wasn’t used to only playing guitar, so I started singing almost automatically. “He woke up from dreaming…” I closed my eyes and for just a moment I could imagine myself on a stage again. Playing the song reminded me of everything I was missing right now and that hurt. But I told myself to keep going, for Summer.

I opened my eyes again an saw Summer staring at me, mesmerized. She had scooted away a little after handing me the guitar, but now she’d moved a fraction of an inch closed again. When the song ended she handed me another note. That was beautiful. Your voice is amazing. But I don’t know the song.

“Thanks.” I smiled. “The song is called Remembering Sunday, it’s by a band called All Time Low.” Summer shook her head. I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of them. It’s a beautiful song, but it’s also very sad. It sounds like that guy who wrote it loved that girl very much. “Yeah I did.” I mumbled.

Summer gave me a confused look. I chuckled. “I wrote that song. I’m actually the lead singer and one of the guitars of All Time Low.” I explained. Summer frowned. You’re in a band? I nodded. She suddenly looked angry. Oh great. So you’re one of those rock stars who overdosed on some kind of drugs and are forced in her by their management for a few weeks, get out and do it all over again.

“What? No!” I said. “I messed up, that’s why I’m here! My life isn’t just all sex, drugs and rock and roll if that’s what you’re thinking.” I said defensively. “Look I don’t wanna talk about why I’m here, you of all people should understand that.” I was starting to get a little mad at Summer. Who was she to judge? “Maybe you were right and these meetings are a bad idea.” I mumbled just loud enough for her to hear.

Summer shook her head. No! Please, don’t! I really wanna continue these lessons. I’m sorry I upset you. But please, I want to learn, I NEED to learn!. I nodded, not daring to ask her why she needed this so badly. “Alright, let’s continue than.” Summer picked up the guitar, but after hesitating a moment she put it back down again, picking up her note book instead. Can you teach how to play that song?

I froze. Why that song? Why out of all song did she want to learn that song? Why did she have to ask me to teach her the song that was the source of all my misery.