Understanding What People Don't

I was woken by the sound of my alarm clock. It was a typical morning. My mother was probably down stairs cocking food that I wouldn't get. My brother had probably eaten it all by now. He's a growing boy, my mother would always say. He needs to eat lots or he won't be able to think properly. I was a growing boy, too. Didn't I need to grow properly?

It didn't bother me much, honestly. It has always been like this since the day Jeremy scored his first soccer goal at the age of four. He was special. I was not. It was something I got used to quickly.

I tried not to think about my own pathetic excuse for a life as I straightened my hair. Although, no one ever paid attention to, I still liked to look good, and in my opinion, I was damn fine. Others didn’t see me that way though. My brother was always good looking. He was an athlete. Of course, he was hot. It was part of the criteria to be the quarterback, and the basketball star, and the fastest track runner, and the best midfielder in soccer. Oh, let's not forget he played tennis, too, and that one time he won the racquet ball tournament. I played racquet ball most of my life. He picks up the racquet one time, and instantly he's a star. But, like I said. It didn't bother me that much.

I ran down the stairs, skipping the last two like always. Mother hated when I did that. You'll snap your scrawny legs in half, if you keep doing that. She would yell. I wouldn't listen.

"Boys, hurry up! You're going to be late." Mother yelled from the kitchen. I entered to find what I always did. No food and a happy looking older brother. I called him that because he was four minutes older than I was. Another thing he was fastest at.

"Yes, mom." Jeremy said before picking up his keys and walking to the door. I grabbed an apple and ran after him with my back pack hitting my back. I didn't bother to tell my parents hello in the morning. Never really did.

"Hey, bro. Sit in the back. We're picking up Blake."

Ah, Blake. He was Jeremy's one imperfection in my parents' eyes. Blake was his boy toy boyfriend. The school didn't know it of course. No, in school he was in a relationship with the head cheerleader. Typical. People didn't know she was a dyke either, so they made in agreement to keep their reputations safe and sound.

My parents didn't care that I was gay though. They just added it to the list on things that didn't like. It didn't matter to me though. I liked boys. They can cry me a river, build me a bridge, and then get the fuck over it. If they didn't care about Jeremy pitching for the other team, they shouldn't about me catching for it.

We pulled up to the red house, and I saw the small boy come out. He had long black hair and a small form which was usually hugged by tight clothing, like today. His pale skin was flawless, and his big green eyes were outlined with a black line. Honestly, he was the typical emo kid that got picked on for being a 'fag'. How cliché for him to have a secret relationship with the most popular guy in school.

"Hi, baby." My brother nauseatingly said. I rolled my eyes. God, they were so annoying. They were so touchy, lovey in private, but once they were in public, they acted like the other didn't exist. It was Jeremy’s idea of course, but Blake didn't fight him on it. That's what got me annoyed, I think. Jeremy so easily said he loved him, but he didn't have the balls to say it in public.

"Hey, yourself." Blake replied before they kissed. I tried not to gag at their affection, and once it hit the stage of not being a greeting I cleared my throat. Blake blushed while Jeremy glared at me. I just shrugged it off.

The car ride was filled with laughter and talking and chatter. None of it was mine, but it was there. Blake was currently telling Jeremy about someone at school that I didn't know. It didn't seem as Jeremy cared, but he was a good actor. Another one of his qualities.

When we arrived at the school, I jumped out of the car. I didn't like to be here when they said their farewells for the day. It was gross, and I mean gross. Once, did I make the mistake of staying, and only once. Their roaming hands all over each other with the disgusting sound of their tongues and lips smacking. Ew. It gives me the creepers jeepers just thinking about it. If that's what kissing is like, then no, just no.

I managed through most of the day without any incidents. The one good thing about being his twin is people don't mess with me. Because if you mess with me, you mess with him. He told some people that once when they were calling me a fag after I got my nose pierced. They didn't bother me that much because I knew how to ignore them, but it messed with him. I don't know why. That's the only time I see his protective side come out for me.

The teachers all liked me. I didn't do that much, but I study. So, I make good grades. Friends weren't an issue with me either, so I didn't talk in class. Once I got an award for the best student in my English class because of it. They said I was the most inquisitive in my class and I thrived for learning. Basically it meant I didn't have a social life, so I replaced it with school work. I was so much fun.

Smiling slightly, I looked over at the clock to see that it was two minutes until lunch. I loved lunch. No, not for the food. The food here was repulsive, but for the company of my friend. I don't know if I should call him that though because I didn't know his name. He didn't know mine, so it was fair at least.

We met in the library ever day in the research section with the massive encyclopedias. The first time I saw him I was doing a project on the differences between conformity and obedience. After getting nowhere, I threw the book down and sat there for the longest time. He came in after that, and asked if I was okay when he saw the books and then me. We talked ever since then.

Sometimes, it felt like he was the only person in the world I could talk to, and other times it was true. I told him everything from my loved brother to my unloving parents. He empathized with the parent part, but he was an only child. Surprisingly, we had a lot in common. He liked the same books I did, and he watched the very few TV shows I did. He ever listened to the same music I did which shocked me most of all because he was just too happy looking to ever listen to the angry screaming that I did. But, everything is not as it appears.

"Hey," he said as I walked down the aisle.

"Hi," I replied sitting across from him. We used to sit next to each other, but its' easier to talk to people when sitting across. That and once I started getting those feelings; I couldn't be that close to him.

"How has your day been?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Normal. I guess. Nothing has happened that is too exciting to mention besides getting some papers back in math. Wow, I have no life."

"You're figuring that out now?" He laughed.

"Oh, you shut up," I said kicking him, "How has your day been?"

"It's fine. The usual. People giving me shit and trying to be my friend. Nothing as exciting as getting papers back in math." He smirked.

"Don't be mean!" I whined.

He chuckled. "I'm not mean! You're just sensitive."

"There is nothing wrong with being sensitive." I said sticking my tongue wrong.

"I never said there was." The smile hadn't faded off his face, and it made me blush. He didn't notice, though. Thank god.

"So, the new Avengers movie came out yesterday, and I asked my brother if we could go. He said that we could if I paid for all the tickets and stuff, but it's the Avengers. You can't just not go, and I was wondering if you wanted to come, too. I know you like it as much as I do and stuff, so, yeah." I blabbed.

"Are you asking me out?" He asked skeptically.

"Wh-What? N-No! I mean I-I know you don't swing that way. I wouldn't ask you out because I know you don't like me like that. And, just because I'm gay doesn't mean that I would ask any person out. I'm not saying you aren't attractive or anything b-because you are. Trust me. You are, but I know you wouldn't want to go out with me or anything." I rambled. I did that sometimes when I was nervous, and trust me I was nervous. Certainly I did want to go out with him, but I knew he didn't like me like that. He was just a friend to my much distaste. But he was still a friend. I didn't want him to get scared away by my gayness or anything. Then, I would lose my only friend.

"Good because that's my job." He smirked.

Okay, I was confused now. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm asking you to go on a date with me. That way your stupid brother doesn't have to come." He said like it was common knowledge.

I was still confused. "You do know what I date is, right? That's when two people who like each other go out to a romantic event so they can expand their romantic interest in one another to see if there is potential is a relationship. Besides, you aren't gay." I stated.

"Did you seriously explain what I date was to me?" He asked.

"Duh because it seems like you don't know the meaning!"

"I know the meaning. Thanks a lot, asshole, and just because I told you about girls hitting on me doesn't mean I'm not gay. I happen to like guys quite a lot, especially the quiet, smart, black haired ones that have twins and a nose piercing. They're my favorite." He said adding to his smirk and my blush.

"W-Well, th-that does sound an awfully lot like me." I said looking down and biting my lip.

"It does, doesn't it?" He asked sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up! You're telling me after all this time of us spending together you never once implied that you were straight. I mean you just look like a street lamp!" I exclaimed.

He scrunched his nose in that cute way he does. "Is that a compliment? Because I'm taking it as once, and I have never in our six months of knowing each other have implied that I was straight. I may have mentioned the occasional girl hitting on me, but have I ever told you about when I went on a date with one? No, I haven't because the only dates I go on are with guys. Guys that have dicks and not boobs."

"You don't have to be mean about it. We already covered the fact that I'm sensitive. Jeez." I said.

"Sorry, but does that mean you will go on a date with me?" He asked with a hopeful glint in his eye.

"Of course, you dumbass. Are you seriously telling me you haven't noticed that I have a total crush on you for like the past three months?" I said dramatically. Never did I think I just gave up the only secret I kept from him.

"You've had a crush on me for three months?" He asked smirking. I could already see his ego grow about three inches.

"Yeah, I mean you are a pretty likeable guy." I admitted with yet another blush hitting my checks.

"That's so cute." He said with a high pitched voice that he likes to use when he is mocking me.

I kicked him again. "Stop being mean. Besides, I have to go soon. Lunch is almost over and my class is on the other side of this hell hole."

"Well, have fun in English because while you get to read your little books, I get to go do thousands of push-ups in Mr. Rob’s class." He sighed overly dramatic.

I laughed at his pain. "I hate Mr. Rob. Good thing I finished with all of my gym credits."

"Don't rub it in, you asshole." He said. I laughed and then stood up.

I smiled as I walked down the aisle. Finally, after months of crushing I was going to go on a date with . . . with. . . Shit! I didn't know his name! Fuck my life!

Awkwardly, I walked back to our spot to see him packing his bag up and slipping it over his shoulder. He caught site of me. "Miss me already?" He asked smirking for the umpteenth time today.

"I don't know your name." I whispered looking down.

"What?" He asked.

"Your name," I said a little louder, "I don't know your name."

"Oh," He said. "Eric Walters. And yours would be?"

"Timothy. Timothy Demetrio."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Timothy." He said.

I smiled. "You as well, Eric Walters. Now, I'm seriously going to be late." I said before waving and leaving, again.

The nest period didn't matter to me that much. All I could think about was Eric. That name fits him. It was strong and masculine. It was like him. I couldn't place that odd sense that I had heard that name before. It was like deja vu. I had heard it. I just didn't know where. Didn't really matter that much though because I was going on a date with him! So, screw all those fuckers who hit on him because he is mine! Wow, I need a life.

You can't blame me though. He was my only friend, and I think it was the same with him, too. He would always talk about how this people would talk to him, but he knew they weren't real. They were fake. I knew how that felt. People would talk to me to get to my brother. It didn't bug me though, but I think it bugged Eric to have people use him. He might be used to it. He didn't tell me why he didn't like it though. It was his secret, I guess.

I waited at Jeremy's car. No doubt he was with Blake. God, why can't those two ever be on time? I was too nervous to yell at them though. Eric left a note in my locker saying he would pick me up at five to see the movie. That was in four hours! I needed time to make sure I didn't look like a freaking creep or a monster, but I couldn't if I couldn't get home! Besides it was hot out, and I'm a complaining bitch. So bite me.

Jeremy walked up Blake less which was a shock on its own. Those two were usually always together. I was curious so I asked. "Where's Blake?"

"Don't talk about him." Jeremy spat.

I put my hands up. "I was just asking a question. No need to bite my head off."

We both got into the car.

"We got into a fight." He said quietly. What? Those two don't fight. Blake was the perfect, obedient boyfriend. He wouldn't fight with Jeremy.

"What about?" I asked.

"I don't fucking know. Some shit about how I'm ashamed of him in public or something fucking stupid like that." He yelled.

"You kind of are." I muttered to myself.

"What the fuck did you just say?" He growled.

I sighed. "You do act ashamed of him, Jeremy. You act ashamed of being gay in general!"

"I'm not fucking ashamed, okay?" He asked, but it wasn't a question.

I know I shouldn't be pushing it because he was in a fragile state and all, but I was his brother. I was allowed to push it because of it. Besides, I needed to get some of the ongoing rage I felt because of his terrible ego. "You should be telling him that, not me." I said.

"You don't think I tried? All he said was that I have a fake girlfriend and that we don't go on dates and how I act like I'm only in it for the physical stuff."

"Because that's exactly how you act," I scoffed, "Just admit that you're ashamed of being gay and how you don't want to go public with him because you're afraid of what people will say."

"I'm not fucking ashamed! I just don't want my friends to get on his back about us, but you wouldn't know what that's like because you don't have any friends!' He screamed.

I looked at him with shock clearly written on his face. "What?"

"Oh, don't get all pissy. You know you don't have any friends." He said.

I bit my lip and tried to ignore the mist forming over my eyes. "It's your fucking fault." I muttered.

"What?"

"I said it was your fucking fault, you asshole! Don't you think I tried to become friends with people, but no, no one wants to hang out with the untalented twin when they could have your fucking ass instead!" I screamed.

"Oh, so the truth comes out," he said, "You're jealous. That's it. You just can't get over the fact that people like me more."

I was pissed now. "No, I got over that the first time someone laughed in my face when I thought they were my friend when they only went through me to get to you. Now, I'm plain pissed because I'm stuck in the shadow of my brother who is stupid as fuck and the only thing he can do right is through a freaking ball. I'm mean you can't even keep a boyfriend who fucking love you more than anything, but then again, I can't for being afraid of coming out because then people will see you are fucking perfect like they expect. I'm sorry that you ashamed of being a fucking human!"

"You're only saying that because mom and dad love me more." He said through gritted teeth.

I stared at him in disbelief. The tears were now running down my checks. "I can't believe you just said that." I whispered.

"It's true, ain't it?" He said looking over at me for the first time.

"At least now I know how you truly feel about me. I'm sorry you got stuck with a fuck up of a brother, but don't worry I'll be sure to make it so you never see me again. Have a nice fucking life." I said before opening the car door and getting out. I started walking down the side walk that would lead anywhere but where he was.

I can't fucking believe him. I just can't. I didn't need every single fear in my life thrown back in my face and definitely not from my brother, the person I shared DNA with. I can't blame him really, I thought. He can't handle rejection. He wasn't used to it like I was, but even if I was; it still fucking hurt like a bitch.

My crying was too far from saving now. It was full on sobs at this point.

He didn't come after me. He didn't care. God, even my own twin hates me. I should've seen it coming though. He was a self-centered asshole who got what he wanted, and I was . . . what was I? I didn't know anymore. Maybe I shouldn't know. Maybe it was best if I just kept walking and didn't think about. Maybe I should never come back. That'll show him, won't it? Here I am thinking of him again.

I kept walking for god knows how long. I didn't know where I was at this point. It was the rich part of town. That's for sure. The big, nice houses mocked me in my broken state. They would always be something I wasn't. They would be cared for and treated with respect because they were glorious and magnificent. I wasn't like that. I would never be like that. I could only dream that these houses would never be like me either. I wouldn't want that for them.

"Timothy?" Someone asked. I turned my head to see Eric sitting at a bus stop.

"Hi." I said wiping the tears from my eyes.

He looked concern and walked over to me. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." I denied.

"No, you're not. You can tell me. You know that." He said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine really. I just got into a fight with my brother. It's nothing I can't handle."

He sighed probably thinking something over. "Come inside with me, will you?" He asked.

"You live around here?" I asked a little shocked. High school students don't leave in this part of town, except that one kid that was super rich. What was his name again? Oh, I don't know. I never knew him, so it never stayed in my head.

"Yeah," he replied before walking around the bench to the house on the corner of the block.

His house was gorgeous. It had to have four stories. The blue color of the house matched the bright red of the shutters and the grey color of the roof. Flowers, bright flowers lined the walk way that were perfectly grown to look like they hadn't wilted a day in their lives. The grass was perfectly green and perfectly cut. There was no way this house was real. I had to be dreaming. It had to be the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Home sweet home." He whispered to himself before walking up the swing around porch to unlock his door. "Come on in." He said.

I walked into the house and was invited into the living room. It was perfectly designed. Couches were sat around the coffee table that looked like it was made out of black marble. They were all sitting in front of the grand fire place. It was covered with grey and brown stones.

"So, what happened?" Eric asked when we settled on the couch.

"I don't know. One second we were talking about how his boyfriend was fighting with him, and then he told me I was just jealous because everyone loved him more." I explained.

"You know it’s not true though, right?" He asked rubbing my shoulder.

"But, it is. Everyone likes him better because he's just so perfect." I said quietly.

"Well, I think you are a hella lot better so there. Your brother is wrong."

I sighed. "You're never met him though. I'm sure you would just fall in love with him."

"I can't love him when I got my eyes set on his twin. That's just icky."

I laughed slightly. "Wow, you sure are mature."

"Oh, really mature." He said sarcastically. I laughed some more. "You know, I've never trusted anyone like I trust you." He said quietly.

"Why? I'm nothing too special." I said equally as quiet.

"People just want me for my money. You actually want me for me."

"Of course I want you for you, silly. I think you're pretty fantastic." I smiled.

He smiled, too. "You know what I meant."

"I know," I said, "But, you’re still fantastic."

He looked over at me, and his hand that was previously comforting me moved its way onto the side on my face. I could feel his thumb running over my check bone. We leaned into the point where our breath ghosted on the other's face. He smelled like peppermint. It was sweet, and it sucked you in. It made you get closer.

Our perfect moment was ruined by my phone blaring its god awful ring tone. Eric sighed but leaned back anyways. I looked down at the cursed technology in my hand. Mom it read.

"Hello?" I said.

"Timothy, where the hell are you? Your brother said you just stormed out of the car! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you? I'm coming to pick you up. Just stay where you are, and don't talk to stranger-"

"Mom, I'm fine. I'm at my friend's house." I interrupted.

"Oh, thank god. Do you know what could have happened, young man? You could have been hurt, or worse! You could've been killed! I was losing my mind with worry! I'm coming to get you right this instant, and we are going to have a nice long talk, young man."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Where are you?"

"Right outside the fourth street bus stop. The blue house on the corner." I replied.

"I'll be there in five minutes."

"Yes ma'am." I replied before we said our farewells and hung up. "Sorry, that was my mom." I said to Eric.

"It's fine. I'm sure she was worried." He said.

"Yeah, that's what she said a thousand times. That and something about me dying." I said.

He chuckled. "Yep because I live in the worst neighborhood. The CEO's just go around with guns mugging people all the time. It really is a hassle."

"Oh, I'm sure." I said equally as sarcastic.

Before I knew it our battle of wits came to an end. Five minutes goes by really quick when your mother is speeding down four neighborhoods to get to her son who she thinks is dying on the street corner of the wealthiest street in the town.

Eric walked me to the door like a perfect gentleman. He really was just so sweet today, and it was refreshing.

"Thanks again, Eric." I said standing on his porch. My mother was waiting in the car for me.

He shrugged. "No bother. It's always nice to see your pretty face."

"Oh, I'm sure." I said flipping my hair back, mocking him.

"Are we still on for tonight?" He asked.

"Of course." I smiled.

"Great," he said. I bit my lip wondering if this was it. If I should just leave now. I was never really good with goodbye's. Eric apparently didn't think this was it because before I knew it his arms had snaked around my waist and my lips were on his. I was shocked for a second, but recovered quick enough to kiss back. His lips were soft, and god they felt amazing. The kiss was slow and not nearly long enough because we parted much too quickly.

"It's a date." He said.

I smiled. "It's a date."