Timing Is Everything

He came for me. After everything that I did to him and the ways that I hurt him he came for me when I needed him the most. If there was anything to tell me how much I didn't deserve him it would definitely be this moment.

James sat on the curb with me while we waited for the police to show up. He had his arms around me telling me that it was all okay.

It wasn't okay. How could he say that? A few days ago he was telling me that he basically hated me and wanted nothing to do with me anymore and now he's here holding me in his arms and being so nice to me.

"Where were you going?" James asked, breaking the silence between us.

"To you," I replied softly, looking at him. James' look softened. While his touches had been gentle his face was cold and hard, like he was trying not to show any sympathy or love towards me. I understood why.

"Why me?" James asked. "We haven't spoken in days."

"That's exactly why," I replied. "You weren't returning any of my calls or texts so, I was going to you to talk to you."

"I didn't want to talk to you, Rox." James sighed, tugging at his hair.

God, I miss that hair. I miss how it feels when he lays his head on my chest, or when I run my fingers through it. I miss the sounds he'd make when I'd pull on it.

"I know you didn't," I nodded. "But I just wanted to see you to make you understand what had happened."

"There's nothing to understand, Roxy." James stated. "You cheated on your fiancé with me, you wanted nothing to do with me and you lied to me."

"But I really like you!" I fought.

"I really like you, too." James nodded. "But I won't be used."

"I wasn't going to apologize," I replied, shaking my head. "I was going to tell you that I wanted to be with you."

"You would leave your fiancé for me?" James scoffed, shaking his own head. "Bullshit you would. You wouldn't leave the man that asked you to be his wife and gives you the entire world to the man who probably wouldn't remember your birthday. You wouldn't have it easy with me, Roxanne. He might not call you on your bullshit, but I would. And we both know you wouldn't like that."

"Maybe I need that!" I fought back. He was detaching himself from me, and I hated it. I would do anything to be with him. I had realized in those three days away from him that he was who I wanted.

"When this day is over, so are you and I." He mumbled, twisting his watch around his wrist.

"Jay, please." I whispered, grabbing his wrist.

"How do I know you won't cheat on me, huh? This obviously isn't the first time you've pulled a stunt like this," James accused, pulling his wrist out from my grip. "You were far too comfortable about keeping a secret like that from him."

I had nothing to say, he was completely right. I wish I could put my thoughts into words in a way that would make him understand that I wanted him.

"Can't you just trust that I like enough to be good?" I asked, weakening. I had no arguments.

"Like he probably did?" James asked softly. He said it softly like it wouldn't hurt me as bad. It did.

I slumped down and moved away from him. It was obvious he wasn't going to budge. Whatever. I had tried and here I was, rejected. It was something totally new to me, and I didn't like it. It was over, James and I would never be together. I would marry Malcolm and continue on with my life as if James had never entered it.

I looked up and spotted Malcolm get out of his car. He searched around frantically for me and I couldn't bring myself to wave him over. When he came over it would be over for James and I. There would never be a James and Roxy. It was over if I did that. So I clung on to the mere seconds I had left in his presence.

"Your man is here," James mumbled bitterly, standing up and waved Malcolm over.

"James Neal?" Malcolm asked upon seeing James. James smiled softly, putting on his "person of status" attitude.

"Hi, nice to meet you." James smiled, shaking Malcolm's hand. James excused himself quickly to go and grab the police to bring them over to us.

"How do you know James Neal?" Malcolm asked me as we watched him walk away. Watching James walk away was destroying me and we weren't even over yet. My heart was aching.

Now. Tell him now.

"There's actually a big story behind how I know James Neal," I whispered, not looking at Malcolm.

"Roxanne, you didn't." Malcolm sighed, tugging at his hair. He immediately knew what I was about to tell him.

"I did," I nodded, finally crying. I had told myself I wouldn't cry, but there's only so long you can fight.

"When?"

"A couple weeks ago when we met at the Penguins benefit," I replied, rubbing my arms.

"How many times after that?"

"Four or five," I sighed, watching James. I refused to look at Malcolm. It was cowardly and I accepted that. What other word would you use to describe the woman that has everything in front of her, yet goes behind the back of the man that loves her to be with the man she dreams of?

"You're in love with this guy," Malcolm glared, looking from me to James and back again.

"What? No!" I replied quickly, shaking my head.

"Why else would you be crying?" Malcolm spat. "You're in love with Neal! You were going to go through with our wedding while you were in love with that guy?"

I looked over at James and we locked eyes. It was like something from a movie and I hated myself for it. I had become one of those weak women I claimed to hate. I wanted to slap myself.

"Answer me," Malcolm ordered, taking hold of my face and making me look at him. "Stop looking at him and look at me. Answer my question."

"Hey," Came James' voice to my right. "There's no reason for you to touch her like that, man."

"You've done enough," Malcolm spat, letting go of me and turning to James.

"Hey, man. I didn't even know she was spoken for," James replied, holding up his hands defensively. "She never wore a ring."

"And she never will," Malcolm mumbled, his eyes burning holes into me. "You can have her, Neal. Good luck."

"Wow," James stated after a few minutes of total silence between us. I couldn't believe he was still standing beside me. "Your ex is a dick."

"Thank you, James." I stated softly, sniffling. "For sticking up for me. I didn't deserve that."

"You're right, you didn't." James nodded. "You should've handled your own battle, but I saved you. Because that's what you do when you love someone. You fight for them even when they don't necessarily deserve it."

I stared up at James with wide eyes. I went to speak, but he shook his head and silenced me.

"Let's be honest," James began. "I couldn't stay away from you. Even if I did I would be miserable without you. If I do this and I agree for us to be together you need to understand that I'm going to kick your ass, figuratively speaking of course. I would never put a hand on you like he just did. I'm going to make you face your shit and you're going to make changes because God knows I won't tolerate cheating. One time, Rox, and I'm fucking gone. Got it?"

"Yes!" I replied, nodding.

"C'mon," James stated, pulling me into a hug. "Let's go get some food in you. You're wasting away in front of me."

....

That night I slept in a bed that wasn't cold. I slept in James' bed that night with him beside me. We didn't have sex, I didn't quite expect it to happen. We did stay up all night talking and just being together. I had never felt more loved and respected. Right before I fell asleep I felt James press his lips to my forehead. It was the best possible way to fall asleep.

I put this hectic day behind me in hopes of a less stressful one tomorrow.