If I Die Tomorrow

Alright. I hope this wasn't a joke. Granted, I am ten minutes early, but still. That's not the point. The point is that if this was just a joke I'm going to be so pissy.

I kept myself occupied by playing Fruit Ninja on my iPod. Just as I about about to break my record on classic mode, I hit a freaking bomb. I grumbled to myself before putting my iPod away. I was about to get up and get a drink when I heard my name. I looked to see a man about in his thirties walking over. “Natalia, right?” he asked when he reached me, his accent evident in his voice.

I nodded. “That's me,” I replied.

“Hallo. I'm David. We spoke on the phone a couple days ago,” he said before sitting across from me.

I smiled. “It's very nice to meet you in person.”

“I could say the same. And I must say your work is splendid. Are you still interested in being our touring photographer?”

“Thank you for the compliment. And of course I am interested. Photographing bands is something I've always wanted to do.”

He smiled. “That's great. There are some things we need to discuss for business purposes and, if you aren't busy and have the time, I could introduce you to the band today.”

I smiled and nodded. “Today's one of my free days, so you're in luck.”

He chuckled before we started talking the business side to everything. You know, contracts and obligations and all that boring but important business.

After reading the contract and signing where needed, he said, “Alright. Are you ready to meet the boys?”

“Yes, sir,” I replied, “Is there anything I should know about the band?”

He chuckled. “They're going to drive you insane. They like to do what they call initiate the new people. I call it just being asses for about a week or two and then going back to their normal selves. Although it might be different with you since you're a girl. They might even hit on you. I don't know. Just be on your guard and don't take anything they say or do seriously.”

I nodded. “Besides my sisters, the majority of my cousins are male and are like brothers to me. I'm used to guys being guys.”

David just chuckled and shook his head. “Well, brace yourself is all I have to say.

***

“Boys! You better be clothed and acting appropriately!” David said as he walked onto the band's bus with me following close behind.

“Quit, Tom! Hide the weed!” I heard a voice shout jokingly.

“And put your dick away! No one wants to see that!” another voice jokingly said.

“You know what? Just hide under a rock. No one wants to see you,” a third voice said jokingly.

“Fuck. You. All!” I heard who I'm suspecting belonged to Tom say, “And Georg? The ladies love my dick. It fills them up just right.”

David sighed. “Tom, please stop talking about your dick. I don't wanna hear about it. I have someone you guys need to meet. Can you act civil and not like asses for five minutes?”

“Us? Asses?!” one of the guys said, “David, I'm hurt that you would think we act like asses. We are asses. We don't act like asses.”

David shook his head. “Bill, we know you're the innocent one of the group. You're the least likely candidate to be an ass. Now I want you guys to meet the photographer who'll be touring with us. Can you be nice to her?”

“Her?” the voice I'm suspecting belonged to Bill asked, “Is she pretty? Where is she? I can't see her!”

“Her?” Tom asked, “Yeah. Where is she? Is she hot? Would I want to fuck her?”

“Tom!” David said. He was sounding like he was getting annoyed, “If you scar this girl for life I'm kicking your ass. Behave. I know that's difficult for you since you think about getting pussy twenty-four seven, but behave. It's all I'm asking.”

I heard a “hmph.” “Fine. Fun sucker. Where is she?” Tom asked.

Seeing as I was standing behind David and I'm short, I pecked my head out from behind him and smiled. “Hi. I think he's talking about me. Not 110 percent sure, but I'm, like, about 95 percent sure,” I said.

The one I knew was Tom smiled. “Hey! I know you!” he said, “Girl with the lens cap.”

I chuckled. “Yeah. Hi,” I said.

One of guys sitting next to him looked at him and said, “So that's the girl you wouldn't shut up about. Don't blame you. She's pretty.”

I felt myself blushing and David said, “Natalia, these are the boys, Georg, Tom, Bill, and Gustav in that order. Boys, this is Natalia Becker. Be nice. I'm going to go so you guys can get to know each other. No scarring her and no being asses.”

As soon as he walked off the bus, Bill looked at me and said, “Don't worry. David's just being an ass. We're actually really nice.”

“Yeah. David likes to exaggerate sometimes when it comes to us,” Georg said.

I chuckled. “I believe you guys,” I said.

I relaxed and Tom asked, “So, how have you been?”

I shrugged. “Pretty good. Finally swore off taking senior portraits for a while. I can't stand half of them. They're rude and snobby and say things like “Oh what a lovely picture. You must have a great camera.” That just bugged the heck out of me,” I replied.

“But it's not the camera that makes a good photo,” Gustav said.

I looked at him. Finally someone who agrees with me! “Exactly! Why can't people get that?! Or they want a discount so they can edit the photographs themselves on Picnik or something like that,” I told him.

“And that is why I'm sticking to my drums,” Gustav said.

I nodded and stretched. “So, what do you boys do for fun?” I asked as I relaxed where I was sitting.

“Video games,” Georg replied.

“Get bored and fuck with shit,” Bill replied.

“Keep the other three out of trouble,” Gustav replied.

“Get pussy,” Tom replied shrugging.

Bill slapped Tom upside the head. “Besides that? I don't think she cares to hear about how much pussy you get, Tom,” he said.

“Well, she might. You never know,” he told him with a smug grin on his face.

I shrugged. “Doesn't bother me one bit. Just as long as I can talk about getting dick,” I said.

Tom shrugged. “Fine. But I bet you haven't had anyone who can please a woman like I can.”

“Oh really? You wanna bet?”

“Wager?”

“Hmmmmm. If I win, you have to go two weeks without getting pussy.”

“NO!”

“Then you're forfeiting and being a pussy.”

He groaned. “Fine! You have to tell everyone I'm the best thing to grace this planet for two weeks when I win.”

“When?”

“Yep.”

“Aren't you being a little too cocky?”

“Uhm, I'm Tom. It's confidence. Not being cocky.”

“Right.”

Bill shook his head. “This is going to get interesting. And we can tell you when Tom's lying about something,” he said.

“Fuck you, little brother. I don't lie about getting pussy,” Tom said.

Georg and Gustav both rolled their eyes. “Right,” Georg said.

“Anyways! You wanna start this?” I asked.

Tom smirked a little bit and bit his lip. “Oh, it's on.”