Status: In progress!
Ainsely
Crash
She wasn't pretty, or particularly kind. She was the bony, blubbering bitch I called my mother. I was 15 when she finally lost the lot of us. We all had different fathers besides the multiples of course. She just sat on her ass, or made more children to fatten up her welfare check. Too bad she was spending it on cocaine, or heroin, or whatever the dealers had a lot of that day. Maybe we would all be okay, hell, maybe the whore would give a shit about her kids and a little less about herself had something been different. Too bad we'll never know. There was 8 of us, Taylor and Jeff were the oldest, twins of 17, then there was Marie, my sister, she was 16. Then me, the triplets came next at 13, James, Lindon, and Anna, then Kaurey, she was the youngest at 7.
My family was always just about as fucked up as they come. Taylor and Jeff had both been fucking Marie since they were 14. They raped her the first few times, they could be raping her now. You couldn't tell with Marie, weather she wanted it or not. They were either smart or infertile, then again maybe Marie was the smart one. The twins would beat the living shit out of her if she ended up pregnant with some incest-bred spawn, and she would lose it anyway. Either way, someone was keeping that from happening. Marie never told me she didn't want them doing it, but she was pretty fucked in the head as it was before they started the shit. It wouldn't surprise me if there wasn't a sliver of a soul in her skin by now. She just stared around, hollow green eyes darting after shadows, looking sad.
We all had green eyes. Something we somehow inherited from the bitch. Our hair colors ran from platinum to almost black, mine was somewhere inbetween, a deep reddish brown. Kaurey's was beautiful, long and thick for her age, in a bright white shade that made her eyes look like emeralds sparkling up at you. I used to love to do her hair. She would sit so still and let me braid it to my heart's content. Kaurey was more fucked up then all of us. Mother had discovered the heroin sometime between the triplets and her, and used through her whole pregnancy. When Kaurey came home, she was tiny. She cried for a week straight. Mother crashed as soon as she got home, for 3 days. Then she left for a week or so leaving Kaurey with Marie. Marie was too busy getting her brains fucked out to give a shit about Kaurey so I took care of her. I panhandled enough for a can of formula and a 3 pack of bottles. I was afraid to use the water from the faucet at the house because it smelled bad, so I usually took Kaurey to a library or church for bottles. After a while I would salvage old milk jugs from dumpsters and wash them with hand soap to keep clean water in. I was 8 years old.
The best thing that ever happened to me in my life was Kaurey getting adopted soon after we were taken. Not because I was free or anything like that, of course I never wanted to raise my baby sister at 8 years old, but still. I was genuinely ecstatic for Kaurey. She met a nice husband and wife who had adopted before, and were looking for a little sister for their son. They had wanted a newborn, but happened to walk into child services the day we got picked up. The woman took one look at Kaurey's liquid emerald eyes, all bloodshot from crying and started the process to adopt her. I hope she's really happy there, and that her new big brother protects her instead of raping her, like the twins do with Marie.
I'm not close with the triplets. They were born before my mom was completely useless. She used to hole up in her room with the three of them for days on end. I never really got to know them considering I was 2 when they were born. I remember missing my mother, and knowing they were taking all of her attention away from me. Taylor told me the triplets were the reason she went over the edge. She couldn't handle the lot of us so one day she just snapped, leaving the babies with them, and went on her first week long binge. I have a memory of Jeff opening a can of baked beans for me, leaving the can for me to dig around in so I wouldn't starve to death. Now the thought of baked beans makes me vomit. I don't blame them though, they did pretty good for all of us considering they were only nearly 5. When mom came home she was normal for about a year, but I guess we were just too much, and her binges went longer and grew closer together.
We grew up in North Oakland, California. Sounds like a pretty place right? Wrong. It was a horrible place to live. Crime was always a problem. A couple of mom's boyfriends even sold drugs out of our house. I wish one of them would have gotten busted, they would have found us a lot sooner. When they did find us I had just made Kaurey some mac n' cheese when there was a fierce knock at the door, a 'Cop Knock', Taylor told me. I didn't hear much of the conversation they had with my mother, but they came walking through the house checking everything out. They were there about an hour and then told my mother to have a nice day, then left. We were all pretty crushed, knowing they could have saved us and didn't. Later in the night they came again, though. They arrested mom for posession and neglect. She had some charge for doing it in a house full of kids too, but I didn't care much either way.
Now we were staying in a group home near the North County child services building. There were probably a good 500 kids there, some came and went every day. It was sad. Most of the kids had come from situations a lot like mine, Oakland was not kind to the kids that were born there. They put me in a room with Marie and Anna. Marie got the single twin in the back corner, and Anna and I shared the bunkbed by the heavy metal door. The doors were all painted blue, but the halls were cold and white like a hospital. The rooms were just beige painted concrete with sharpie graffitti littering it here and there. Most of the pen marks were next to my bottom bunk, inside the little cave I called my new home. I hung one of the thin old blankets off the top bunk to make myself a little room, and it was nice. Nicer then anywhere I had been before.
The food was good, at least compared to what I was used to. On the first day we got chicken, which was a little over processed, but still tasty. It came with a scoop of mashed potatoes, a condiment cup of gravy, green beans and a warm roll. I don't think I had ever had such a big meal in my life, and I was a little upset when I couldn't finish it. Kaurey's paperwork hadn't processed yet so I could see her sitting with the younger kids through the chainlink that separated the cafeteria. She didn't smile or play like some of the others, just picked at her food with sad eyes. She had only finished about a quarter of her food when the supervisors started rounding them up, but she didn't react when they took her tray and hurried her along with the rest of the kids.
The older kids got a little more freedom, we went to classes at 6 AM, which was tough for a while since I had never really had a bedtime before, but I got into the swing pretty fast. After classes ended at 2, we were allowed to wander the halls, or go to the library. There was a common's room with a couple arcade games and couches, and a little old TV that was missing a strip of picture in the middle. I didn't really go in there much, it's where the boys hung out, and they scared me a little. They were very vulgar, not one of them was the slightest bit kind or gentile. The girls that stayed with them in there were all whores, baby prostitutes, cut from the same filthy cloth as their mothers. Marie went in there a lot, sometimes Anna went with her. I was glad the gene had skipped me.
Before I get too far, let me tell you a little more about me... My name is Ainsely. The last name on my birth certificate is Holden, like my father. As far as I know, I never met him. I was thin, having nearly starved my whole life, and weak as a weed, but I was getting a little stronger every day. I didn't nearly pass out when I stood anymore, and I gained a good five pounds by then. I was about as innocent as they come in Oakland, I never did my mom's crack like Marie, and never partook of the Twins' weed when they brought it home. Even the triplets did that, but I was too busy with Kaurey to look after anyway. The Twins never took my innocence like Marie, but she was all too willing, and I like to think that the Twins thought better of me. I wasn't a total angel though, I was always the girl giving blowjobs behind the bleachers at the high school in exchange for change or food. Thats as far as I ever went though, and I couldn't take them touching me, so I had never been explored by anyone. Maybe my twisted mind just did something right for a while. Too bad that part of me gave up.
My family was always just about as fucked up as they come. Taylor and Jeff had both been fucking Marie since they were 14. They raped her the first few times, they could be raping her now. You couldn't tell with Marie, weather she wanted it or not. They were either smart or infertile, then again maybe Marie was the smart one. The twins would beat the living shit out of her if she ended up pregnant with some incest-bred spawn, and she would lose it anyway. Either way, someone was keeping that from happening. Marie never told me she didn't want them doing it, but she was pretty fucked in the head as it was before they started the shit. It wouldn't surprise me if there wasn't a sliver of a soul in her skin by now. She just stared around, hollow green eyes darting after shadows, looking sad.
We all had green eyes. Something we somehow inherited from the bitch. Our hair colors ran from platinum to almost black, mine was somewhere inbetween, a deep reddish brown. Kaurey's was beautiful, long and thick for her age, in a bright white shade that made her eyes look like emeralds sparkling up at you. I used to love to do her hair. She would sit so still and let me braid it to my heart's content. Kaurey was more fucked up then all of us. Mother had discovered the heroin sometime between the triplets and her, and used through her whole pregnancy. When Kaurey came home, she was tiny. She cried for a week straight. Mother crashed as soon as she got home, for 3 days. Then she left for a week or so leaving Kaurey with Marie. Marie was too busy getting her brains fucked out to give a shit about Kaurey so I took care of her. I panhandled enough for a can of formula and a 3 pack of bottles. I was afraid to use the water from the faucet at the house because it smelled bad, so I usually took Kaurey to a library or church for bottles. After a while I would salvage old milk jugs from dumpsters and wash them with hand soap to keep clean water in. I was 8 years old.
The best thing that ever happened to me in my life was Kaurey getting adopted soon after we were taken. Not because I was free or anything like that, of course I never wanted to raise my baby sister at 8 years old, but still. I was genuinely ecstatic for Kaurey. She met a nice husband and wife who had adopted before, and were looking for a little sister for their son. They had wanted a newborn, but happened to walk into child services the day we got picked up. The woman took one look at Kaurey's liquid emerald eyes, all bloodshot from crying and started the process to adopt her. I hope she's really happy there, and that her new big brother protects her instead of raping her, like the twins do with Marie.
I'm not close with the triplets. They were born before my mom was completely useless. She used to hole up in her room with the three of them for days on end. I never really got to know them considering I was 2 when they were born. I remember missing my mother, and knowing they were taking all of her attention away from me. Taylor told me the triplets were the reason she went over the edge. She couldn't handle the lot of us so one day she just snapped, leaving the babies with them, and went on her first week long binge. I have a memory of Jeff opening a can of baked beans for me, leaving the can for me to dig around in so I wouldn't starve to death. Now the thought of baked beans makes me vomit. I don't blame them though, they did pretty good for all of us considering they were only nearly 5. When mom came home she was normal for about a year, but I guess we were just too much, and her binges went longer and grew closer together.
We grew up in North Oakland, California. Sounds like a pretty place right? Wrong. It was a horrible place to live. Crime was always a problem. A couple of mom's boyfriends even sold drugs out of our house. I wish one of them would have gotten busted, they would have found us a lot sooner. When they did find us I had just made Kaurey some mac n' cheese when there was a fierce knock at the door, a 'Cop Knock', Taylor told me. I didn't hear much of the conversation they had with my mother, but they came walking through the house checking everything out. They were there about an hour and then told my mother to have a nice day, then left. We were all pretty crushed, knowing they could have saved us and didn't. Later in the night they came again, though. They arrested mom for posession and neglect. She had some charge for doing it in a house full of kids too, but I didn't care much either way.
Now we were staying in a group home near the North County child services building. There were probably a good 500 kids there, some came and went every day. It was sad. Most of the kids had come from situations a lot like mine, Oakland was not kind to the kids that were born there. They put me in a room with Marie and Anna. Marie got the single twin in the back corner, and Anna and I shared the bunkbed by the heavy metal door. The doors were all painted blue, but the halls were cold and white like a hospital. The rooms were just beige painted concrete with sharpie graffitti littering it here and there. Most of the pen marks were next to my bottom bunk, inside the little cave I called my new home. I hung one of the thin old blankets off the top bunk to make myself a little room, and it was nice. Nicer then anywhere I had been before.
The food was good, at least compared to what I was used to. On the first day we got chicken, which was a little over processed, but still tasty. It came with a scoop of mashed potatoes, a condiment cup of gravy, green beans and a warm roll. I don't think I had ever had such a big meal in my life, and I was a little upset when I couldn't finish it. Kaurey's paperwork hadn't processed yet so I could see her sitting with the younger kids through the chainlink that separated the cafeteria. She didn't smile or play like some of the others, just picked at her food with sad eyes. She had only finished about a quarter of her food when the supervisors started rounding them up, but she didn't react when they took her tray and hurried her along with the rest of the kids.
The older kids got a little more freedom, we went to classes at 6 AM, which was tough for a while since I had never really had a bedtime before, but I got into the swing pretty fast. After classes ended at 2, we were allowed to wander the halls, or go to the library. There was a common's room with a couple arcade games and couches, and a little old TV that was missing a strip of picture in the middle. I didn't really go in there much, it's where the boys hung out, and they scared me a little. They were very vulgar, not one of them was the slightest bit kind or gentile. The girls that stayed with them in there were all whores, baby prostitutes, cut from the same filthy cloth as their mothers. Marie went in there a lot, sometimes Anna went with her. I was glad the gene had skipped me.
Before I get too far, let me tell you a little more about me... My name is Ainsely. The last name on my birth certificate is Holden, like my father. As far as I know, I never met him. I was thin, having nearly starved my whole life, and weak as a weed, but I was getting a little stronger every day. I didn't nearly pass out when I stood anymore, and I gained a good five pounds by then. I was about as innocent as they come in Oakland, I never did my mom's crack like Marie, and never partook of the Twins' weed when they brought it home. Even the triplets did that, but I was too busy with Kaurey to look after anyway. The Twins never took my innocence like Marie, but she was all too willing, and I like to think that the Twins thought better of me. I wasn't a total angel though, I was always the girl giving blowjobs behind the bleachers at the high school in exchange for change or food. Thats as far as I ever went though, and I couldn't take them touching me, so I had never been explored by anyone. Maybe my twisted mind just did something right for a while. Too bad that part of me gave up.