Heaven Nor Hell

I stood frozen, my arms crossed over my chest, as I stared into Kyle’s cold, blue eyes. I didn’t know how he had managed to find me, but I was terrified. Others may have been deceived by his bright smile, but I could tell by the hardness in his eyes, he was pissed.

“So what have you been doing since you left New Jersey, and broke my heart?” he sneered, his friendly composure cracking.

“Not m-much,” I stuttered, taking a small step back. “I’ve been here and there, looking for work.”

“That’s great babe.” My skin crawled at his term of endearment. I jumped slightly as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, realizing it was a text from Brian. I opened it, quickly reading through it.

Sorry I’m taking so long, the shop was packed. I’ll be there in a few minutes.

I bit my lip, knowing I had to get rid Kyle before Brian came back. “Well,” I spoke softly, “I need to get going. It was good to see you,” I finished, slowly backing away from him. As I turned around, a strong hand wrapped around my arm, roughly pulling my back into a hard chest. I shivered in fear, as his breath lingered on my neck.

“I suggest you leave your little rock star. The longer you choose to stay with him, the longer you both will suffer.” And just as quickly as I was pulled into his chest, Kyle had pushed me down into the sand, and ran.

I pushed myself up, dusting the sand off my arms. After I had stood, I ran on shaky legs back to Brian’s car, curling up the passenger seat, and praying that Brian would soon return. I jumped when I felt my car door open, but quickly relaxed as I was met with Brian’s face. I bolted out of the car, and into his arms, too afraid to let go.

“Woah,” Brian exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. Noticing my distress, one of his hands slid up my back, rubbing soothing circles as I silently cried into his shirt. As I thought back to what had happened not ten minutes ago, I clung to him tighter, as he whispered comforting words into my ear.

When I had finally calmed down, Brian took a small step back, and cupped my face between his palms, his thumbs wiping away my stray tears.

“What happened baby?” he questioned, holding my gaze. Not wanting to talk about it in public, I simply shook my head, turning my gaze to the warm asphalt beneath our feet. I heard Brian release a sigh, before he pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead, and whispering a quiet “Let’s go.”

The ride back to Brian’s house was extremely quiet, as I held his large hand in between both of mine, reassuring myself he was there. Once Brian had parked in his garage, he hastily climbed out and ran to my side, taking both of my hands and leading me into his house, having forgotten all about the subs in the back of his Escalade.

I shivered as I sat down on the couch, expecting Brian to sit next to me. Instead, he muttered for me to stay put, before walking out of the room. I sighed, pushing my hair out of my face, before deciding to put it up. As I finished throwing it into a messy bun, Brian walked back in, wearing a fresh t-shirt. In his left hand, he held a red sweatshirt, and tucked under his right arm, was Pinkly. I smiled my thanks as Brian handed me the sweatshirt, giggling as I noticed it was my favorite Metallica sweatshirt that he owned. Once I had zipped it up, Brian set Pinkly in my lap, and took a seat on the coffee table in front of me.

I could feel his eyes on me as I twisted my fingers into Pinkly’s soft hair, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, until he softly called my name. I bit my lip as I lifted my eyes, taken back by the emotion in his chocolate brown orbs. I could sense his distress as he shifted closer, his knees now touching mine.

“What happened at the beach?” he asked, placing his hand on my cheek, forcing me to meet his gaze. I took a deep breath, hoping to settle my nerves, before answering.

“Kyle showed up while you were at the sub shop,” I breathed out, almost inaudibly. But judging by the way Brian tensed, I knew he had heard me.

“What the fuck did he say?” Brian shouted, his hands curling into tight fists by his sides.

“Nothing really,” I spoke, trying to calm him. “He was relatively friendly, until I tried to walk away. And then…”

“And then what…?” he spat through clenched teeth.

“When I tried to walk away, he pulled me back, telling me that if I didn’t leave you, he would hurt us both. I…I was so scared Bri…” I dropped my head as tears began to well up in my eyes. I was so sick of feeling weak.

I felt weight to my left, before his colorful arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me back into his chest. Brian held me for the second time today as I cried, rocking me back and forth and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Eventually I calmed down, and Brian lay back on the couch, pulling me with him. Tired, I laid my head in the crook of his neck, calming myself with his unique scent. It was a mixture of cologne, cigarette smoke, and sea wind, and in my distressed state, it was heavenly. Soon, my eyes became heavy, and I nudged myself closer to Brian. As I closed my eyes, I felt Brian’s lips on my cheek, before he softly began to sing.

One word took the other, and suddenly
We’re stronger than we ever could imagine.
A bond that can cut through the fire of hell,
Sharing one mind, one heart forever…

---

I woke up to the sound of a pan crashing, and light cursing coming from the next room over. Rubbing my eyes, I stood from the couch, and walked towards the kitchen, giggling at the sight before me. At Brian’s feet was a pan of marinara sauce, which Pinkly was eagerly lapping up.

“Need some help?” I offered, reaching down to pick Pinkly up.

“Maybe…” Brian said meekly, turning down the temperature of the noodles he was attempting to boil. I laughed as I walked to the bathroom to wash Pinkly’s front paws that were covered in marinara sauce. After she was clean, I placed her on Brian’s bed, but kept the door open, knowing he had a baby gate at the bottom of the step to prevent her from coming down.

Walking back into the kitchen, I found Brian on his hands and knees, cleaning up the mess. Shaking my head slightly, I grabbed a mop and cleaned up the rest of the sauce. Once I had put the mop away, I turned to face Brian, who had a smile on his face. He opened his arms, and I walked straight into them.

“Maybe we should order take out…” Brian chuckled in my ear. I nodded my head in agreement.

“I think that would be best.”

“Chinese good?” he asked. Again, I nodded my head. With a quick kiss, Brian walked out of the room to make the call.

I walked out on the patio, pulling down the sleeves of Brian’s sweatshirt as I was hit by the breezy sea air. I found myself wishing we had stayed home, and went swimming in Brian’s backyard, rather than going to a public beach. But it couldn’t be helped anymore.

I grinned as I felt hands on my hips. Turning my head around, I was met by Brian’s warm smile. I couldn’t believe how thoughtful he had been today. It was kindness I hadn’t been use to for years. Not since Gerard and Mikey had moved away.

Today had made me realize that Brian could be the one who could save me from myself, who could make me see the beauty of life again. He had proved to be more of a man in the few months we had been together, than Kyle had been throughout our entire relationship. With Brian I felt safe and content, more so than I had ever felt with Kyle.

I was broken from my thoughts as Brian moved to stand next to me, one of his arms wrapping around my shoulders.

“I have one more thing I want to talk about,” he spoke softly, burying his face in my hair.

“Hmm…” I replied, wrapping both of my arms around him, feeling at ease.

“I want you move in with me.” I gasped at his words, pulling away to look at him.

“Brian…” I started, but was quickly cut off.

“I know it’s soon, we’ve only been together for a few months. But I won’t be able to sleep unless I know you’re safe. And you weren’t paying that much rent anyway, I’m sure Elizabeth can pay for it by herself.”

I sighed, knowing he had a good point. It just seemed so soon.

“Bri, I just…” I started, but was cut off by the look on Brian’s face. He wore the most adorable pout, and I could feel my resolve breaking.

“Okay, okay! I’ll move in! Goodness.” In a heartbeat, I was lifted up onto the railing of the deck, and wet kisses were pressed all over my face.

The doorbell was faintly heard in the background, and Brian pulled away, a goofy smile on his face. He walked back into the house to pay for our food. Looking around the deck, I grabbed one of the benches, and dragged it into the sand. Brian smiled as he emerged, with our food, a blanket, and Pinkly in hand.

In minutes, we were perched on the bench, the blanket covering our legs. I was watching Pinkly run near the water when Brian kissed the top of my head.

“Orange chicken for the beautiful lady.” I giggled, kissing Brian’s cheek, before digging into my food.