Heaven Nor Hell

“I was wondering if you would give me guitar lessons?” The words spilled out my mouth as I chicken out. After seeing the sadness in Brian’s eyes, I wished I had just told him. He had shared his huge secret, why couldn’t I do the same?

“Yeah, of course,” he spoke quietly, and I was flooded with guilt. “Come on, we better get going.” He stood up and waited for me by the edge of the grove, brushing the grass from his jeans. He led us back to the car, and I was surprised that he opened my door for me. Everything he did increased the guilt bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

Brian quickly started the car, and was driving towards the exit of the parking lot. I sighed as he prepared to take a right and head back to my house, and I stopped him.

“Can we go back to your house?” He simply nodded and changed his turn signal to left, heading to his house instead of mine.

After we arrived, we climbed out of his car and through his front door. Brian led us into the living room, where he took a seat on the couch. I sighed, feeling completely unprepared for what I was about to do, but took a seat next to him reguardless.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I came to Huntington?” Brian finally looked up, his chocolate orbs consumed by curiousity and hope. I shifted so I was facing him, my legs criss crossed on the couch.

“I was born and raised in New Jersey. I lived in the same house until I was 19. My dad died when I was 9, and I was devastated. The section of New Jersey I lived in, it wasn’t very safe. You never went outside to play. So I spent the majority of my time with my dad. He owned a small guitar store in our town, so every day, I would go to school, and right after I would head to the store.

“One day after school, I had a terrible headache, so I went straight home. It got to be bedtime, and my dad still wasn’t home, but we didn’t think anything of it. We figured he had fallen asleep in the shop, he’d done that before. About one in the morning, a policeman was knocking on our door, and announced my dad had been shot and dumped in an alley. He was dead by the time they found him…” I averted my gaze to the couch, and ran my hands through my hair, trying to control my emotions. Brian placed a hand on my leg, and shot me a comforting smile. I took in a shaky breath, before continuing.

“I was a mess until I met Mikey and Gerard. My mom was in an even worse way than I was, and they immediately adopted me into their family. Their mom always made sure I had food to eat, clothes on my back. We were each fucked up, in our own way. But that’s what made us perfect for one another.

“In eleventh grade, I met Kyle. Mikey and Gerard hated him, advised me to stay away from him. But I brushed it off. About a month after we became friends, he asked me out, and I said yes. We steadily dated all through high school and college. I was fresh out of college, and life was finally beginning to look up for me. I got a job, Kyle and I bought a house together, and things were perfect.

“A year later, my mother died of alcohol poisoning. Even though I hadn’t kept in close contact with her, it still hurt to know that I had no living members of my family left. My mom was an only child, and I had never met any of my dad’s siblings. I was completely alone, and that hit me hard. I was going through a small bout of depression, but I did all I could to hide it. About a month later, Kyle proposed, and I was caught off guard. I didn’t feel like myself, I had just buried my mother a few weeks before, I knew I wasn’t ready. I tried to explain that to him, but he got angry, claiming I had to be cheating on him. I never understood how he made that connection, but we spent nearly ten minutes screaming at one another, before he slapped me across the face, and ran out the door.” I noticed Brian’s grip on my leg tighten, but I continued with my story. I knew if I stopped now, I’d never have the courage to finish.

“He came back the next day and apologized, saying he had drank before he came home to calm his nerves, and he didn’t mean anything he had said. He told me he would wait as long as I needed to feel ready, and I accepted his apology. Over the next few weeks, he grew more protective. Two months after the proposal, he forced me to quit my job. A week later, he sold my car without telling me. Slowly, but surely, he took away my freedoms, until I was like a caged animal. I never left the house, I never got to see Mikey and Gerard. I was miserable, and I finally got the guts to stand up for myself.

“One night after he came home from work, I demanded he let me use the car so I could go see Mikey and Gerard, and he refused. I kept fighting him, and eventually, he pushed me against the wall, and punched me in the eye. He kept hitting me, and eventually I grew so weak, I could do nothing but lie on the floor and take it.” Tears began to steam down my face, and Brian quickly cupped my face with his hands, and brushed my tears away. We sat in silence for a few minutes as I cried, Brian whispering in my ear. Finally my tears dried, and met his gaze again.

“It continued for nearly six months, before Kyle took me out to a bar for his birthday. I had covered the bruises on my body, knowing a few of his friends would be present.

“It turned out that Gerard and Frank happened to be at the same bar, and for the first time in months, I got to talk with them. Frank asked me to dance with him, and as I got out of my seat, Gerard pulled me to him, examining my back. Somehow, some of the makeup on my back had been removed, leaving a perfect view of a large, purple bruise on my back.

“I confided in Gerard that night everything that had happened in the past few months, and Gerard promised to get me out. A week later, Kyle left for an all-day conference at work. I packed everything I had in Gerard’s car, and we set off to California. They suggested Huntington, and of all the towns I visited, I fell in love with this one the most. I met Elizabeth while I was out searching for jobs, and everything fell into place. And the rest, you already know.” I gave Brian a sad smile, relishing in the peace that surrounded me. I felt a weight be lifted from my shoulders, knowing I wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

Brian’s arms snaked around my waist, and pulled me into his hard chest. I buried my face into his neck in an effort to calm myself. After a few minutes, Brian leaned back, and cupped my face in his hands.

“I’m glad you told me all of this, even if it was hard. But you’re not alone anymore. You don’t just belong to the My Chemical Romance family, you belong to the Avenged Sevenfold family too. No matter what happens, that fucker will not touch you ever again. You will be save here. I’ll keep you safe.” He pulled me into his arms, and I relaxed in his comforting hold.

After a few more minutes, Brian suggested we watched a movie, and I instantly agreed, not wanting to leave his side. Brian slid off the couch and popped Tommy Boy in the DVD player. I grinned at his choice, giddy he remembered that it was my favorite.

I curled up into his side as Brian returned to the couch, feeling safer than I had in years.